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The love/sex/relationship thread


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#4621
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and since at clubs you often don't really get to know someone's personality, its easily possible to spend months in these places and not feel any connection or interest in anyone. Perhaps guys are completely different, I don't know

I'm a guy and I really agree with this. I used to like clubs and all. But now it just pisses me off when I can't understand the person next to me without shouting into eachothers ears. It's a nice place to pick someone up for meaningless sex. But it's not the kind of atmosphere you even remotely get a connection with someone.

Bars for the win. -_-
Three hour meeting starts NOW!!!

#4622
Lithium

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So there are a bunch of exchange students in one of my classes. Yesterday during class I decided that the Russian was the sexiest one. Ended up chatting with her afterward. She said she just hangs out around campus and drinks and smokes weed (yes!), and is very bored because she has no car. I volunteered that I have a car if she wants to hang out off campus sometime, she just said I don't have your number. :thumbsup:

Anyway, when you have a sexy Russian exchange student's number and live in a bachelor pad ABOVE a bar where your roommate works and will feed the two of you drinks, life is looking pretty good.

Sounds good, man. Tap dat.

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#4623
Bumble's Bridge Pickup

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My epic journey involving alcohol and Facebook and the hot girl I've had a crush for years on continues. Please help me.

So apparently she did something I could not except.

I stalked her, and saw that she has used Facebook, which means she HAS received and read my message. But I've got no message from her.

What does this mean?

Either...


The most probably outcome: A) She facepalmed but shrugged and ignored my messages, and wants our friendship to continue as it is, despite this embarrassing occurance. Kind of like before, when I accidentally saw her half naked when she least expected it, and we avoided all discussion for the rest of that day and then never talked about it at all. I could see her doing this.


A much more less likely outcome: Bee) My messages warmed her heart, but she is unsure how to proceed - or unsure whether I was honest asking her out. Perhaps she is discussing this with her best girl friend lol. Not very likely I think, if she liked me she would perhaps have replied to show that she was not insulted by my messages?


C) She is insulted, especially by the lack of an apology, and does not want to have much to do with me anymore. She has not blocked me on Facebook though.


D) She did not manage to read the message yet, or is considering her reply. Doubt it, since she always has replied to messages I've sent to her before.



And then, the only options I think I have:



1) Do nothing. If outcome A) happened, this will lead to me being friendzoned for the rest of my life and ultimately dissatisfaction. Well, I probably won't see her during the next 20 years or so anyway. We will meet like once at a high school class reunion party sometime.

2) Still wait if she will contact me.

3) Casually send her a message about another thing we discussed before, and see if she brings this stuff up.

4) Be a pussy and send an apology message. Lie to her that my friend told me that I had sent her messages when I was drunk, and this is why I'm only apologizing now. Ask for our friendship to return to normal.

5) Call her, tell her to listen to me speaking for five minutes, and then be brutally honest about everything, including how I avoided sending an apology, and then ask her out. I would like to do this because it would bring this saga to a conclusion. I GODDAMNIT want to tell everything to her at once and hear her say no so that I can move on wiht my life and forget her. I know I could probably get her number and call her. And who knows if this ended up in me actually getting her? Who knows if she likes honest brutality? The thing is though, chances are she would end up feeling awkward and uncomfortable during the conversation: girls, imagine if a guy you have no interest in but who you consider a bit of an unstable but funny dude suddenly calls you and tells you he wants to date you. Thing is, you never realized he was into you until a week ago when he sent you drunk and creepy Facebook messages about meeting up at his place. So you'd feel pretty weird and shocked right??

I really want to do 5) because I figure that would bring this stuff to a worthy end. I don't know how to take rejection though 'cause I've never asked a girl out before and these circumstances are unusual. I mean how will I tell her that it's alright without sounding like I'm gonna jump from a bridge because she rejected me?

I feel like Milhouse with his obsession with Lisa from The Simpsons.

HELP ME

Edited by Bumble's Bridge Pickup, 14 September 2012 - 12:04 PM.

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#4624
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the best option is to always just lay it out on the table. if she turns you down, at least you know it's over. way better than ignoring it and never knowing. be brave and good luck.

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#4625
Lithium

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You should send her another message that says "Please respond."

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#4626
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the best option is to always just lay it out on the table. if she turns you down, at least you know it's over. way better than ignoring it and never knowing. be brave and good luck.

Yeah that kinda sounds like the best path to me. I just must tell myself to not care about shocking and confusing her a bit, hell I've had to suffer a lot of anxiety over the past week because of her.

Deep down I kinda know I don't stand a chance with her but I want to hear her officially announce it even if she's gonna say it as politely and nicely as she can.

Edited by Bumble's Bridge Pickup, 14 September 2012 - 02:06 PM.

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#4627
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the best option is to always just lay it out on the table. if she turns you down, at least you know it's over. way better than ignoring it and never knowing. be brave and good luck.

Yeah that kinda sounds like the best path to me. I just must tell myself to not care about shocking and confusing her a bit, hell I've had to suffer a lot of anxiety over the past week because of her.

Deep down I kinda know I don't stand a chance with her but I want to hear her officially announce it even if she's gonna say it as politely and nicely as she can.


I think you should tell her how you really feel, after all it's the truth and there's nothing 'stalker' like or creepy about that. It's unfortunate that the initial messages went out in that vein but the reality is the opposite, right? You have genuine feelings for her and are not a stalker by the sounds of things.

I also think that if you have the courage to tell her how you really feel, she should have the decency to tell you how she feels in response, rather than just avoiding the whole thing if she's not going to respond positively. It is a vulnerable position to be in and I think most girls recognise that. If she responds positively, well that's great and she will know that you weren't being weird and creepy, it was just an unfortunate circumstance, and you will have achieved what you wanted.
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#4628
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the best option is to always just lay it out on the table. if she turns you down, at least you know it's over. way better than ignoring it and never knowing. be brave and good luck.

Yeah that kinda sounds like the best path to me. I just must tell myself to not care about shocking and confusing her a bit, hell I've had to suffer a lot of anxiety over the past week because of her.

Deep down I kinda know I don't stand a chance with her but I want to hear her officially announce it even if she's gonna say it as politely and nicely as she can.


I think you should tell her how you really feel, after all it's the truth and there's nothing 'stalker' like or creepy about that. It's unfortunate that the initial messages went out in that vein but the reality is the opposite, right? You have genuine feelings for her and are not a stalker by the sounds of things.

I also think that if you have the courage to tell her how you really feel, she should have the decency to tell you how she feels in response, rather than just avoiding the whole thing if she's not going to respond positively. It is a vulnerable position to be in and I think most girls recognise that. If she responds positively, well that's great and she will know that you weren't being weird and creepy, it was just an unfortunate circumstance, and you will have achieved what you wanted.

Thanks for the encouragement! She certainly is a decent human being AFAIK, I doubt she'd cut the phone call during the conversation or start telling this stuff about me in public or so on.

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#4629
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Thanks for the encouragement! She certainly is a decent human being AFAIK, I doubt she'd cut the phone call during the conversation or start telling this stuff about me in public or so on.


Cool. It really sounds like an unfortunate situation that should be corrected and it would be such a shame for it to be left like that considering the honesty of your feelings for her. Good luck!
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#4630
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Update.

I sent her a message, stating that a friend had just told me that I had sent her some "ambiguous" messages at that party a week ago. I asked her if she had received any messages from me.

She replied that no, SHE HAS NOT received a single message from me.

The thing here is, it's pretty certain she is lying to save our casual friendship as it is currently.

1) It took her well over a day to reply to my question. This I know thanks to the Facebook "seen" feature.
2) I know I sent her those drunken messages and I tested with 2 fake accounts to se how the messaging system works. Basically it doesn't matter if you delete the messages you send, the person will get them anyway...

So I drove myself into a corner right?

If I'm gonna tell her, that, "girl, I know you received my drunken messages", I'll reveal to her I was lying about not remembering sending them.

Whatever, next time I see her in real life I will tell her my feelings face to face.

Fuck this.

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#4631
The Sandman

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Yeah, man up!
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#4632
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Yeah, man up!

I fucking will do the next time I see her in person. Preferably WITHOUT the aid of alcohol.

I don't care if it will end our former friendly classmate relationship or not.

The thing that bugs me is this fucking uncertainty. I want her to turn me down, or accept going to a date like teens do in American movies, and I want her to do that right now, and not make me wait for days between all the messages I send her.

She really is an adorable and intelligent lady but I guess I can't get a straight answer without asking a straight question.

Edited by Bumble's Bridge Pickup, 18 September 2012 - 04:54 PM.

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#4633
The Sandman

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What have you got to lose? If you're not that close - isn't the end of the world mang!
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#4634
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Right. I'll try sometime this year when I'm visiting my home city and encounter her in a bar or something.

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#4635
The Sandman

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Seen her in a smoky room...

Smell of wine and cheap perfume...
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