Jump to content

Randy Blythe's penis


dalsh327

Recommended Posts

I never thought I would ever be writing something like this, but here is an update on the condition of my penis: HE IS 100% RECOVERED & FULLY FUNCTIONAL, COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF PERFORMING ANY OF HIS NORMAL DUTIES. No scarring, so scabbing, no PTSD. He’s good to go. I suppose it took a while (like a week) for the metal “news” sites to pick up this obviously very important story in the world of heavy metal, but they did (I guess they will run anything, or it must be a slow week- I wrote that story here just to give y’all a few laughs- damn, all I did was dump hot coffee on my unit- I’m sure it happens to someone everyday). Now I am getting texts from my friends saying things like “Ouch! Are you ok?” or “I’m really, really, sorry about The Captain, dude”- while the sudden outpouring of concern for the welfare of my penis is heartwarming indeed (it brings a tear to my eye, it really does), it’s not like someone tried to chop him off or he suddenly developed the ability to do calculus or something- now THAT would have been worthy of the news. Anyways, with penises, just as with all things in life, that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. This video is from just two days ago, well after the scalding incident in question- I ask you, my friends- is this the wipe out of a man not in full command of his penis? Would a man suffering the agony of penile distress have the presence of mind to wave goodbye to the camera so gracefully? NO, HE WOULD NOT. My dude was a little sore for two days- that’s it. Ok, that’s enough about my penis- I shall never mention him here again. (ps- I am VERY careful with coffee in the car now, always using the cup holder)



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lamb of God sucks and this guy seems like a total idiot.

Why?

The guy maybe is an idiot, but LOG is a good modern metal band

edit: oops i forgot i post on a GNR forum where most ofthe posters despise modern metal

I just don't like that style of metal with the muddy instrumentals, growling, and screaming

I do like "modern" metal bands though like Avenged Sevenfold and Dream Theater, though

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey bran, is Time II ever coming out or is it basically not worth holding my breath?

im not holding my breath :lol:

last i heard was on facebook a few months ago. wintersun was selling merch on facebook and someone posted to the effect " stop fucking selling merch and release time II"

jari posted that time II would have been out already plus 2 or 3 more albums if they had the money, and that selling the merchandise was a way to fund the release of the album.

so i dont know if it will be this year or not, which really, really sucks.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like once every 4 months I'll be in the mood for LOG. It's just great aggressive music without the bullshit.

Reclamation is a great song. I love this fanmade video for it.

Those vocals are so fucking pure....they're not even good. They're just real. I don't know how to describe what I'm thinking. Dude sounds mental.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dont care for the band but aaa yes this brings me back to the day when Anything Goes section was ultra-liberal and ultra-bold, there was talk about golden showers and all the other sicko subjects on earth. You newbies do not remember this era.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dont care for the band but aaa yes this brings me back to the day when Anything Goes section was ultra-liberal and ultra-bold, there was talk about golden showers and all the other sicko subjects on earth. You newbies do not remember this era.

Golden showers are sick? :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...