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Going to Australia for the first time. Tips?


Cosmo

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Red Back Spiders, actually pretty much anything in Australia that is red and moves one would be best to steer clear of. :laugh:

Red Backs can make you sick, but your unlikely to die from a bite from one. Funnel Web spiders are the ones to watch out for. Bring you down in 10 minutes without medical treatment. Don't go messing about in gardens and you should be fine.

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Isn't that a good thing considering Bundy fuels bogans? I mean if drop bears are ostensibly the opposite of bogans, that is.

Or unless you mean it gives you the incentive to fuckin belt the cunts. "CARN YA FUCKEN BEAR CUNT I'LL FUCKIN NECK YA YA CUNT!"

I once saw a bloke who'd drunk a bottle and a half of Bundy fight a light post.

The light post won.?

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You haven't had a night out until you've had night out drinking Bundy. It's made from stewed cunts and boxing gloves. If you don't get a fuck, you'll get a fight for sure.

Fuck me, Oz is even more, the abyss, than I imagined it to be! This is what happens when you let prisoners run a country.

Incidentally, have you ever seen it on Neighbours or Home and Away when they go into the 'bush'? It is never a happy outcome. They also run the religious cult storyline a lot.

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Every town needs an Alf Stewart. Every time there is a religious cult, every time someone goes missing in the sea, everytime there is a Bush fire: Alf is johnny on the spot. What is this man's official job designation? A general lifeboat, quasi-police sergeant, medical, do-gooder, lfe saver? I hate to envision the day when Alf dies: the death ratio in Summer Bay will increase exponentially. Two other things I learnt from watching those two documentaries on Australian culture,

- there is only ever one doctor on duty in Australian societies. This poor doctor will deal with everything from, delivering babies, to AaE, as well as being a normal functioning member of Summer Bay or Ramsey Street with all the usual affairs and religious cults etc. It does not matter though because you have Alf - see above - in case of the former.

- Never go into the Bush. It will always lead to disaster, a religious cult or a fire. Just never do it.

- Summer Bay is never, that, 'summery'. It is always pissing it down with cast over skies.

- Everyone in Australia lives in each other's house, e.g. the house on the caravan site where Alf lives. They just let any passing waif n' stray live there, any young person. ''Come and join us''.

- Australian's always fuck with their theme tunes. I used to like it when Neighbours was a simple triple-time tune ''neighbours (du du du du) everybody needs good Neighbours'') then they jazzed it all up, adding Sax etc. We do not fuck with our themes. Corrie still has the exact same theme as does Eastenders. Emmerdale's was sexed up a bit but it is still largely the same. Fuckin Australians. Beat us at Cricket then fuck with our favourite themes. Cunts.

- Marilyn is a bit hot. Many a teenage boy in Britain wanked themselves silly to Marilyn - not me of course because I am not, a wanker (filthy habit old boy). But, so I have been told! Then she married Donald fuckin Fisher. Then she turned up in Emmerdale, Boycott country! Now she is back in Summer Bay and I suspect many a teenage boy will still be wanking themselves silly over her today

haa_cast_emily_symons_63_16injhl-16injhm

Edited by DieselDaisy
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Don't forget bombs!!!

I haven't watched tthese shows for a number of years, but it seems every couple of years or so something gets bombed. The diner, Lassiters. I think just a little while ago I saw an ad for an upcoming episode where a wedding got bombed.

Oh the humanity...

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Every town needs an Alf Stewart. Every time there is a religious cult, every time someone goes missing in the sea, everytime there is a Bush fire: Alf is johnny on the spot. What is this man's official job designation? A general lifeboat, quasi-police sergeant, medical, do-gooder, lfe saver? I hate to envision the day when Alf dies: the death ratio in Summer Bay will increase exponentially. Two other things I learnt from watching those two documentaries on Australian culture,

- there is only ever one doctor on duty in Australian societies. This poor doctor will deal with everything from, delivering babies, to AaE, as well as being a normal functioning member of Summer Bay or Ramsey Street with all the usual affairs and religious cults etc. It does not matter though because you have Alf - see above - in case of the former.

- Never go into the Bush. It will always lead to disaster, a religious cult or a fire. Just never do it.

- Summer Bay is never, that, 'summery'. It is always pissing it down with cast over skies.

- Everyone in Australia lives in each other's house, e.g. the house on the caravan site where Alf lives. They just let any passing waif n' stray live there, any young person. ''Come and join us''.

- Australian's always fuck with their theme tunes. I used to like it when Neighbours was a simple triple-time tune ''neighbours (du du du du) everybody needs good Neighbours'') then they jazzed it all up, adding Sax etc. We do not fuck with our themes. Corrie still has the exact same theme as does Eastenders. Emmerdale's was sexed up a bit but it is still largely the same. Fuckin Australians. Beat us at Cricket then fuck with our favourite themes. Cunts.

- Marilyn is a bit hot. Many a teenage boy in Britain wanked themselves silly to Marilyn - not me of course because I am not, a wanker (filthy habit old boy). But, so I have been told! Then she married Donald fuckin Fisher. Then she turned up in Emmerdale, Boycott country! Now she is back in Summer Bay and I suspect many a teenage boy will still be wanking themselves silly over her today

haa_cast_emily_symons_63_16injhl-16injhm

:rofl-lol:

I've never actually watched an episode of Home and Away before but clearly this is what all British folk base their judgment of Australia on.

Gold! :thumbsup:

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This, is dancing

I agree. :)

I've always loved this quote:

t5hvsw.jpg

It's kinda funny the way those gay boys think they're doing something amazing in high heels. Women have been doing it for ages day in day out. I wonder if they do everything in their day in 4" heels, or just a 5 minute dance? :lol:

You gotta take a dump in high heels. Helps your bowel straighten out because of your elevated legs.

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This, is dancing

I agree. :)

I've always loved this quote:

t5hvsw.jpg

It's kinda funny the way those gay boys think they're doing something amazing in high heels. Women have been doing it for ages day in day out. I wonder if they do everything in their day in 4" heels, or just a 5 minute dance? :lol:

You gotta take a dump in high heels. Helps your bowel straighten out because of your elevated legs.

Good advice for anyone planning a trip to Australia. ?

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