Jump to content

Going to Australia for the first time. Tips?


Cosmo

Recommended Posts

Every town needs an Alf Stewart. Every time there is a religious cult, every time someone goes missing in the sea, everytime there is a Bush fire: Alf is johnny on the spot. What is this man's official job designation? A general lifeboat, quasi-police sergeant, medical, do-gooder, lfe saver? I hate to envision the day when Alf dies: the death ratio in Summer Bay will increase exponentially. Two other things I learnt from watching those two documentaries on Australian culture,

- there is only ever one doctor on duty in Australian societies. This poor doctor will deal with everything from, delivering babies, to AaE, as well as being a normal functioning member of Summer Bay or Ramsey Street with all the usual affairs and religious cults etc. It does not matter though because you have Alf - see above - in case of the former.

- Never go into the Bush. It will always lead to disaster, a religious cult or a fire. Just never do it.

- Summer Bay is never, that, 'summery'. It is always pissing it down with cast over skies.

- Everyone in Australia lives in each other's house, e.g. the house on the caravan site where Alf lives. They just let any passing waif n' stray live there, any young person. ''Come and join us''.

- Australian's always fuck with their theme tunes. I used to like it when Neighbours was a simple triple-time tune ''neighbours (du du du du) everybody needs good Neighbours'') then they jazzed it all up, adding Sax etc. We do not fuck with our themes. Corrie still has the exact same theme as does Eastenders. Emmerdale's was sexed up a bit but it is still largely the same. Fuckin Australians. Beat us at Cricket then fuck with our favourite themes. Cunts.

- Marilyn is a bit hot. Many a teenage boy in Britain wanked themselves silly to Marilyn - not me of course because I am not, a wanker (filthy habit old boy). But, so I have been told! Then she married Donald fuckin Fisher. Then she turned up in Emmerdale, Boycott country! Now she is back in Summer Bay and I suspect many a teenage boy will still be wanking themselves silly over her today

haa_cast_emily_symons_63_16injhl-16injhm

:rofl-lol:

I've never actually watched an episode of Home and Away before but clearly this is what all British folk base their judgment of Australia on.

Gold! :thumbsup:

That and Crocodile Dundee.

PS

Some more observations.

- Going into a fridge, getting out a carton of juice and drinking straight from the nozzle is considered 'normal' Australian behaviour.

- Australians always serve salad with every meal. Every meal has a big bowl of salad in the middle of the table.

Edited by DieselDaisy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We rarely actually eat the salad though. It's just there so it LOOKS like we are eating healthy.

BTW,on the subject of food, we don't actually call it "shrimp". We say prawns. And if you order a prawn salad,you can just eat the prawns.

You don't have to eat the salad. Unless you want to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...