The love/sex/relationship thread

[Graeme]

Don't get married to an emotionally unstable woman. Also, don't get married if you are emotionally unstable yourself.

I wouldn't get married at all.

But but but but sex.

Find a man if you want butt sex.

Oh, you want to get married so you keep getting sex? Doesn't work like that.

Unless you're a religious 'no-sex-out-of-wedlock' type... Then it kinda works like that.

[DR DOOM]

Don't get married to an emotionally unstable woman. Also, don't get married if you are emotionally unstable yourself.

I wouldn't get married at all.

Don't even date an emotionally unstable woman.

Just fuck the shit out of them.

[Gracii Guns]

Just had a text from my dad asking "where to eat in York?".

Based on that question alone, I can conclude that he's definitely got a new girlfriend on the cards.

I still never worked out what was wrong with the last girlfriend.

[Len Cnut]

Just had a text from my dad asking "where to eat in York?".

Based on that question alone, I can conclude that he's definitely got a new girlfriend on the cards.

I still never worked out what was wrong with the last girlfriend.

I dont suppose you're privy to the inner workings of your dear Paters relationships, maybe she had a mole somewhere funny. Edited December 21, 2015 by Len B'stard

[Gracii Guns]

Just had a text from my dad asking "where to eat in York?".

Based on that question alone, I can conclude that he's definitely got a new girlfriend on the cards.

I still never worked out what was wrong with the last girlfriend.

I dont suppose you're privy to the inner workings of your dear Paters relationships, maybe she had a mole somewhere funny.

They were together 5 years. Shortly after the split, she met up with me and told me her side of the story. Apparently they had an argument, he said "it's over" and the next day went to the solicitors and the estate agent to put the house on the market. No mutual discussion or attempt to work things out.

I could just do without this becoming a revolving door of women who I get to know and they become part of the family, then we never see again. It's better now all my siblings have grown up and moved out, so there aren't any little ones forming ideas about long-term adult relationships based on him. But we're a very private family and having strangers involved in stuff as personal as Christmas isn't easy. Meh. He can do what he wants.

[Axl_morris]

you're dads a player!!

[Len Cnut]

Just had a text from my dad asking "where to eat in York?".

Based on that question alone, I can conclude that he's definitely got a new girlfriend on the cards.

I still never worked out what was wrong with the last girlfriend.

I dont suppose you're privy to the inner workings of your dear Paters relationships, maybe she had a mole somewhere funny.

They were together 5 years. Shortly after the split, she met up with me and told me her side of the story. Apparently they had an argument, he said "it's over" and the next day went to the solicitors and the estate agent to put the house on the market. No mutual discussion or attempt to work things out.

I could just do without this becoming a revolving door of women who I get to know and they become part of the family, then we never see again. It's better now all my siblings have grown up and moved out, so there aren't any little ones forming ideas about long-term adult relationships based on him. But we're a very private family and having strangers involved in stuff as personal as Christmas isn't easy. Meh. He can do what he wants.

I suppose the best you can do is just be as friendly as you can but take for granted that there's a good chance that they're transient. Maybe none of em measure up to your Mum for him?

[Graeme]

Anyone got that one person that they've always looked at and just thought "Everything about you is amazing", but you know in your heart of hearts that they will never feel the same way about you?

Tonight, I met the lassie who has filled that role since high school in the Iain Banks novel my life so closely resembles. She's been out of my life for 5 years, and while I'm not exactly an emotional wreck, it's still amazing how much someone can still affect you... Nothing I could ever do would stop me from being anything other than her big, daft pal. Och well.

[Len Cnut]

Anyone got that one person that they've always looked at and just thought "Everything about you is amazing", but you know in your heart of hearts that they will never feel the same way about you?

Tonight, I met the lassie who has filled that role since high school in the Iain Banks novel my life so closely resembles. She's been out of my life for 5 years, and while I'm not exactly an emotional wreck, it's still amazing how much someone can still affect you... Nothing I could ever do would stop me from being anything other than her big, daft pal. Och well.

Why don't you get more matey with her, work on your spiel a bit, chat her up?

[Graeme]

Anyone got that one person that they've always looked at and just thought "Everything about you is amazing", but you know in your heart of hearts that they will never feel the same way about you?

Tonight, I met the lassie who has filled that role since high school in the Iain Banks novel my life so closely resembles. She's been out of my life for 5 years, and while I'm not exactly an emotional wreck, it's still amazing how much someone can still affect you... Nothing I could ever do would stop me from being anything other than her big, daft pal. Och well.

Why don't you get more matey with her, work on your spiel a bit, chat her up?

She loves me. Just not romantically, pal.

[Len Cnut]

You can find yourself over-complicating these things is all i mean.

[Graeme]

It's quite simple, really. I don't really subscribe to the theory that the 'friendzone' is an exclusively female-male phenomenon. There are some lassies I love to bits as pals, but I know that I'm not attracted to in a romantic way or a sexual way (and those two aren't necessarily the same thing either). At age 14, I maybe hoped that one day I'd sweep her off her feet (though I was too shy to ever try at that stage in my life), but I've been around her for long enough to know the way she looks and behaves around people she is attracted to, and it's a completely different way to how she acts towards me. I don't think there's anything I could do to change that. Not the way I'd want it, but I'm not sure it's my 'fault', as such...

From society's point of view, there's nothing fucking admirable about unrequited lovers, is there? You're not good enough to get the girl. You must not be man enough, attractive enough, confident enough... you're the 'beta male' that watches, broken-hearted as your love interest ignores you for a string of assertive, abusive douchebags or you're that creepy guy that offers a lassie a shoulder to cry on while nursing the erection to end all boners.

Boring fucking clichés. I guess I'm trying to describe the situation without sounding like Miser who basically consistently tried to depict his love life as some sort of Hollywood drama. Real life is not a high-school movie, but this is one of these situations which does occur quite a lot in fiction, so it's difficult to describe it without resorting to tired metaphors.

There's a very slim chance I could be completely and utterly wrong, I've never actually talked to her about it (the last time I saw her was before I'd ever asked a girl out), but I like to think I'm a canny enough judge of character to know whether or not it would be worthwhile, and my instincts tell me not. It's not as if I'm pining miserably for something that will never happen, she's been out of my life for a long time and I've been totally fine, I was just reminded tonight of how much I enjoy her company, and it's made me reflective.

[Gracii Guns]

Graeme, should I read Iain Banks in order to get to know you better?

Sorry about the lady trouble. :-/

[Johnny Drama]

Anyone got that one person that they've always looked at and just thought "Everything about you is amazing", but you know in your heart of hearts that they will never feel the same way about you?

Tonight, I met the lassie who has filled that role since high school in the Iain Banks novel my life so closely resembles. She's been out of my life for 5 years, and while I'm not exactly an emotional wreck, it's still amazing how much someone can still affect you... Nothing I could ever do would stop me from being anything other than her big, daft pal. Och well.

Cry in front of her.

EDIT: Then death growl. Emotional range sorted. No tears. Don't crack your voice.

Edited December 25, 2015 by Johnny Drama

[Graeme]

Graeme, should I read Iain Banks in order to get to know you better?

Sorry about the lady trouble. :-/

Haha, The Crow Road is like the instruction manual for my soul.

It's not really 'lady trouble' as such, it's just one of those things... I have my eye on someone else anyway. At least until I fuck this one up too .

[Len Cnut]

Anyone got that one person that they've always looked at and just thought "Everything about you is amazing", but you know in your heart of hearts that they will never feel the same way about you?

Tonight, I met the lassie who has filled that role since high school in the Iain Banks novel my life so closely resembles. She's been out of my life for 5 years, and while I'm not exactly an emotional wreck, it's still amazing how much someone can still affect you... Nothing I could ever do would stop me from being anything other than her big, daft pal. Och well.

Cry in front of her.

EDIT: Then death growl. Emotional range sorted. No tears. Don't crack your voice.

What the fuck Buffalo Bill

[Chris1989]

Relationship very much on track, and I'm looking forward to 2016 - we have an amazingly exciting year lined up!

[ZoSoRose]

Good to hear Chris

Things going well with my girl too.

My ex texted me merry Christmas ... That was weird

[Chris1989]

That is weird. Presume you ignored it?

[AxlisOld]

Like he remembers what he did.

[arnold layne]

My girlfriend is psychotic, crazy, and possessive.

I need a way out.

[Chris1989]

My girlfriend is psychotic, crazy, and possessive.

I need a way out.

You were going to marry her though.

[AxlisOld]

My girlfriend is psychotic, crazy, and possessive.

I need a way out.

Get a fucking job, get a fucking place. Tell her where neither of them are.

Out.

[ZoSoRose]

So... No marriage Nate?

That is weird. Presume you ignored it?

Like he remembers what he did.

Lol

I just texted back "whose number is this?" followed by a "wassup" and then she never responded. Weirdddd

[SunnyDRE]

It's quite simple, really. I don't really subscribe to the theory that the 'friendzone' is an exclusively female-male phenomenon. There are some lassies I love to bits as pals, but I know that I'm not attracted to in a romantic way or a sexual way (and those two aren't necessarily the same thing either). At age 14, I maybe hoped that one day I'd sweep her off her feet (though I was too shy to ever try at that stage in my life), but I've been around her for long enough to know the way she looks and behaves around people she is attracted to, and it's a completely different way to how she acts towards me. I don't think there's anything I could do to change that. Not the way I'd want it, but I'm not sure it's my 'fault', as such...

From society's point of view, there's nothing fucking admirable about unrequited lovers, is there? You're not good enough to get the girl. You must not be man enough, attractive enough, confident enough... you're the 'beta male' that watches, broken-hearted as your love interest ignores you for a string of assertive, abusive douchebags or you're that creepy guy that offers a lassie a shoulder to cry on while nursing the erection to end all boners.

Boring fucking clichés. I guess I'm trying to describe the situation without sounding like Miser who basically consistently tried to depict his love life as some sort of Hollywood drama. Real life is not a high-school movie, but this is one of these situations which does occur quite a lot in fiction, so it's difficult to describe it without resorting to tired metaphors.

There's a very slim chance I could be completely and utterly wrong, I've never actually talked to her about it (the last time I saw her was before I'd ever asked a girl out), but I like to think I'm a canny enough judge of character to know whether or not it would be worthwhile, and my instincts tell me not. It's not as if I'm pining miserably for something that will never happen, she's been out of my life for a long time and I've been totally fine, I was just reminded tonight of how much I enjoy her company, and it's made me reflective.

Dude, no offense and I really just trying to give you some man to man advice.........WHY WOULDN'T YOU ASK HER OUT!! YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE IS THINKING DUDE!!

She might be thinking the same thing as you.

Dude, ask your female friend out. There is a reason you guys are friends (chemistry). Maybe it ruins the friendship, but at least you will know....why would never not want that peace of mind.

My girlfriend is psychotic, crazy, and possessive.

All women are like that.

It is annoying when your young.

You appreciate it when you get older.