Len Cnut Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 26 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: Regarding bum flapping, the single most hilarious part of my wedding day was this little dialogue between a friend and I before the ceremony: Friend: "Have you shat yourself yet?". Me: "Erm… I've had a poo". Very little on this forum makes me honestly laugh out loud (though with the amount of smileys i use you'd probably probably think i was in some sort of perpetual fit!) but that did 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 3 hours ago, Len B'stard said: How exactly does one have a go at someone cuz of the weather?!? Anyway its in fucking May, its not like you've gone and done it in rainy season. Apart from that everydays rainy season upon the mighty Tweed, no? We're getting married in Glasgow, where there are 2 seasons- winter and June She was just flapping about what I was going to do if it's not a nice day, and its like she gets more shrill the less stressed I get over these things. Like if it's cold you can't do anything about it, nearly everything is happening inside and I'll wear a coat in between, not a big deal but she has to act like everything's a Greek tragedy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 40 minutes ago, Axls Rocket Queen said: We're getting married in Glasgow, where there are 2 seasons- winter and June She was just flapping about what I was going to do if it's not a nice day, and its like she gets more shrill the less stressed I get over these things. Like if it's cold you can't do anything about it, nearly everything is happening inside and I'll wear a coat in between, not a big deal but she has to act like everything's a Greek tragedy Perhaps she sees it as indicative of something lackadaisical in you, just pull her to one side nice and quiet and go 'look, whats the point of driving yourself up the wall over things you cant control? Lets just do the best with what we can control and leave the rest to the ether'. Bless her, I'm sure she means well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) 9 hours ago, Len B'stard said: Perhaps she sees it as indicative of something lackadaisical in you, just pull her to one side nice and quiet and go 'look, whats the point of driving yourself up the wall over things you cant control? Lets just do the best with what we can control and leave the rest to the ether'. Bless her, I'm sure she means well. Believe me, I've tried many times. She's just a very controlling and unreasonable person, and planning this thing seems to make her even worse Edited May 2, 2016 by Axls Rocket Queen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Today my husband went into town, I told him to buy me a silly little treat, with a £2 budget. He's never been into buying gifts, so I wasn't expecting much. He came home with a pair of diamond earrings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 26 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: Today my husband went into town, I told him to buy me a silly little treat, with a £2 budget. He's never been into buying gifts, so I wasn't expecting much. He came home with a pair of diamond earrings. I'm fully expecting to see a headline in The Press. "Mabel Boggs (87) Robbed and Beaten Senseless in Random Street Attack!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Just now, Dazey said: I'm fully expecting to see a headline in The Press. "Mabel Boggs (87) Robbed and Beaten Senseless in Random Street Attack!" Pfft. You've been speaking too much to Len. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Just now, Gracii Guns said: Pfft. You've been speaking too much to Len. "Assailant last seen spending £2 on pint of Carling before fleeing scene!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Get in there Mr Grace, and they say romance is dead, blesss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axls Rocket Queen Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 On 5/2/2016 at 3:02 PM, Gracii Guns said: Today my husband went into town, I told him to buy me a silly little treat, with a £2 budget. He's never been into buying gifts, so I wasn't expecting much. He came home with a pair of diamond earrings. He's a keeper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 It's amazing how those little £2 accumulator bets can add up 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 @spunko12345 Hey! How's parenting going? Is it alright? Since learning from @Dazey that it's possible to take babies into pubs, I want to start breeding, but need some honest feedback first. Has is ruined your career? Has the little cherub gotten you into uncontrollable debt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 57 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: @spunko12345 Hey! How's parenting going? Is it alright? Since learning from @Dazey that it's possible to take babies into pubs, I want to start breeding, but need some honest feedback first. Has is ruined your career? Has the little cherub gotten you into uncontrollable debt? Career? Spunko works at finding wrong uns a place to live when they come out of nick and McLeod builds big fuck off boilers, as long as they got the missus at home carrying the slack i cant imagine its much hardship for them two fuckin' toerags, its the birds that do all the work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 (edited) 2 hours ago, Len B'stard said: Career? Spunko works at finding wrong uns a place to live when they come out of nick and McLeod builds big fuck off boilers, as long as they got the missus at home carrying the slack i cant imagine its much hardship for them two fuckin' toerags, its the birds that do all the work. To be honest I've not noticed any major difference as far as expenses go. The pissing and shitting takes some getting used to however. She'll accept me one day though. Edited May 5, 2016 by Dazey 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 3 hours ago, Gracii Guns said: @spunko12345 Hey! How's parenting going? Is it alright? Since learning from @Dazey that it's possible to take babies into pubs, I want to start breeding, but need some honest feedback first. Has is ruined your career? Has the little cherub gotten you into uncontrollable debt? I'll be honest Grace it's hard, bloody brilliant and lovely but it is hard work. Spontaneouty goes out of the window and things that used to take half an hour takes a whole morning cos you have to plan it all around feeding times. It's not even that expensive, just buy all the shit ahead of time and your sorted they do grow out of stuff quickly though so constantly replacing things. 2 hours ago, Len B'stard said: Career? Spunko works at finding wrong uns a place to live when they come out of nick and McLeod builds big fuck off boilers, as long as they got the missus at home carrying the slack i cant imagine its much hardship for them two fuckin' toerags, its the birds that do all the work. Don't listen to this Dazey might be but not me. Didn't he go off to Las Vegas recently. How, the fuck, he managed to swing that I will never know. He must have a very understanding missus or his bullshit game must be better than mine cos Im lucky if i can get to Wetherspoons 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 6 minutes ago, spunko12345 said: Don't listen to this Dazey might be but not me. Didn't he go off to Las Vegas recently. How, the fuck, he managed to swing that I will never know. He must have a very understanding missus or his bullshit game must be better than mine cos Im lucky if i can get to Wetherspoons Took the missus with me and left the baby with the grandparents innit! Also I promised to take her to Gran Canaria in August if she didn't kick off about Vegas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 2 minutes ago, Dazey said: Took the missus with me and left the baby with the grandparents innit! Also I promised to take her to Gran Canaria in August if she didn't kick off about Vegas. Spunkos probably looking for a bit extra see, so cant really take the missus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 2 minutes ago, spunko12345 said: I'll be honest Grace it's hard, bloody brilliant and lovely but it is hard work. Spontaneouty goes out of the window and things that used to take half an hour takes a whole morning cos you have to plan it all around feeding times. It's not even that expensive, just buy all the shit ahead of time and your sorted they do grow out of stuff quickly though so constantly replacing things. Don't listen to this Dazey might be but not me. Didn't he go off to Las Vegas recently. How, the fuck, he managed to swing that I will never know. He must have a very understanding missus or his bullshit game must be better than mine cos Im lucky if i can get to Wetherspoons Thanks for your response. I don't know what to do. As you all know, the career path hasn't been smooth, so I'm entitled to eff all maternity pay, and if I told my clients that I'll be unavailable for a year, they will find someone else and won't bother returning. I've given up putting it off until I own a home, and I kind of just want to get on with it while I'm still young. I'm 27 this year, and I really did want to have a family by the time I'm 30. I don't want to be an 'old' parent. For everyone, there will never be 'enough' money, but it's a miracle if we have a month without using our overdraft, which makes me think that there are better times to come. I think I'll see how the rest of this year goes for the business, and if it continues to be as dire as it is, I could start a career at M&S or somewhere, where the pay and maternity leave will be reliable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 6 minutes ago, Len B'stard said: Spunkos probably looking for a bit extra see, so cant really take the missus It's been that long now I wouldn't know what to do Yeah that's the other thing Grace. I haven't had a bit for months. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 7 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: Thanks for your response. I don't know what to do. As you all know, the career path hasn't been smooth, so I'm entitled to eff all maternity pay, and if I told my clients that I'll be unavailable for a year, they will find someone else and won't bother returning. I've given up putting it off until I own a home, and I kind of just want to get on with it while I'm still young. I'm 27 this year, and I really did want to have a family by the time I'm 30. I don't want to be an 'old' parent. For everyone, there will never be 'enough' money, but it's a miracle if we have a month without using our overdraft, which makes me think that there are better times to come. I think I'll see how the rest of this year goes for the business, and if it continues to be as dire as it is, I could start a career at M&S or somewhere, where the pay and maternity leave will be reliable. You can now split maternity pay now mind. It's an option if your other half works where they do maternity he could take all the time off on normal pay. Depends if you'd be ok with it though. It certainly wasn't for us two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 @spunko12345 I assumed that there was a condition where one parent couldn't take 100% of the maternity pay. That's certainly something which viable for us. I'll look into it- thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 3 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: @spunko12345 I assumed that there was a condition where one parent couldn't take 100% of the maternity pay. That's certainly something which viable for us. I'll look into it- thanks. Honestly, the thought you put into all this stuff, just get to the sh-boinkin' young lady, the rest'll work itself out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 I used the HMRC calculator, and I wouldn't be elegible for Shared Parental Leave, and we couldn't pay the bills with what my husband could claim. Suppose I'll just have to make the business make me a fortune. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Spunko's a social worker? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 1 minute ago, PappyTron said: Spunko's a social worker? Nah, he's a slum lord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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