The love/sex/relationship thread

[SoulMonster]

My wife and I don't understand each other. She thinks the smell of frying bacon is offensive and turns the ventilator on max.

[RQRQ]

Every time I come close to moving on my Ex makes an appearance. I am sure there is a radar that transmits when I am starting to feel happier. I still love him and it seems impossible for either of us to shake the other off. Its getting tiresome. Why does this happen for crying out loud? Out tonight with a bunch of friends so i intend to forget all about it and paint the town red.

[Apollo]

2 hours ago, RQRQ said:

Every time I come close to moving on my Ex makes an appearance. I am sure there is a radar that transmits when I am starting to feel happier. I still love him and it seems impossible for either of us to shake the other off. Its getting tiresome. Why does this happen for crying out loud? Out tonight with a bunch of friends so i intend to forget all about it and paint the town red.

You need to be strong and realize there is a reason he is your ex. Just mentally decide that you are done and go date other people. 

Or get back together with him. 

[RQRQ]

Yes thank you for that. You're right. Reconciling isn't an option and I am sure he actually just comes back into my life when all other options are worn out.

Onwards and upwards. It's girls night out time!

[ZoSoRose]

Destroy him, its the only way

[Dazey]

10 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

My wife and I don't understand each other. She thinks the smell of frying bacon is offensive and turns the ventilator on max.

Fucking Muslims! I say build a wall across Mexico to Argentina to keep the Hindus out!

Edited May 14, 2016 by Dazey

[spunko12345]

18 hours ago, Apollo said:

The mods know my comment is actually true! And you are a black, so there is that. 

Your getting the hang of this  you old cunt you  

Edited May 14, 2016 by spunko12345

[spunko12345]

On 5/5/2016 at 9:21 PM, PappyTron said:

Ah, an estate agent!

Take that back right now.

[Len Cnut]

15 hours ago, spunko12345 said:

Take that back right now.

Oi, i have feelings yknow!

[SoulMonster]

So I am going to tell you about the love of my life. No, not my wife. Or my kids. Although I do love them more than anything. I am talking about this girl I fell in love with as a kid and I kept loving for so many years that even though it's been 25 years since I fell out of love with her and life has gone on in so many ways, some parts of that love still remains inside of me, its shadow or something. I guess because it happend during my formative years, and because it was, like young love often is, so acutely intense, it changed me somehow. And it won't really completely leave me. Like phantom pain, I guess.

I first met her at the cinema when I was 5 or 6. She was sitting two rows before me and I couldn't take my eyes off her. I can't remember what film it was but I do remember her and how she looked. I was smitten like noone has ever been. That was the first time I fell in love. And boy did Cupid find a moron. I later met her in school and was deeply in love with her for 5-6 years. That absorbing kind of love that is absolute hell until it is requited or moves on to another victim. It occupies your mind and turns you into an idiot. Well, I was an idiot already and never got to open up to her, to tell her how I felt, so she was probably blissfully unaware of my adoration. I, on the other hand, was a wreck. A miserable fool. I simply had  no idea how to reveal my feelings, I was scared, I was petrified, I was acutely aware of my inferiority compared to a goddess like her. She was, like girls tend to be at that age, more sophisticated, funny, charming, and, of course, interested in boys that can most quickly best be described to be the complete opposite of what I was. I hung around, became friends with her, spent time with her, but never, ever did I summon the courage to take the next steps, not that I even knew what those steps would be.The love thankfully eventually petered out and I could move on. Which I did. 

As I said, it's been 25 years now, more or less. But I still occasionally think about her. Not often, maybe twice a year. She made some kind of imprint in my heart. I don't know why I can't let go completely, I am happily married and fully content with my life. It bothers me. It also bothers me that I was such a pussy I never revelaled my feelings for her. It annoys me to no end that I would miss such an opportunity because of being afraid of rejection. I am sure this is one reason she keeps popping up in my head. The girl that got away, I guess. Then I wonder, is some part of me still in love with her? Is there more than just my pride? Did the old love not completely disppear?

The reason I write this, in addition to try to express something which I find complicated and that I want to add something to thiss thread, is that I met her the other day. And naturally that made me think more about her. She didn't recognize me, it was at the grocer's and she was talking to someone else. But I did contact her on social media afterwards. She was happy to talk to me, we were good friends back in the day, and we decided to meet up the next time I am in her city. I am anxious about this. It would be disastrous if the old love was resurrected, I am happy with how my life is and certainly don't need that. I don't really fear it though, since I haven't been able to fall in love in many years now. It kind of died when I met my wife, or kids. On the other hand, maybe it would be great to talk to her and open up about the old love, to get some kind of closure for me? To finally get it over it. And maybe when I see her now, at 40ish, with a whole life of her own, and not as that girl I fell in love with aand which I guess is the subject for my love, I can realize that person don't exist anymore and lay it to rest for good? Maybe it is just what I need?

[Gracii Guns]

What a lovely story Soulie.

I'd say go, and just enjoy her company again. Find out what she's like now. 

You will know as we get older, our values change and transform our personalities. She's not going to be the same person she was as a teenager. Best of luck!

[netcat]

i think everybody feels nostalgic about their childhood love from time to time. but most of all it happens when we're somehow unhappy about our current relationship or partner. not saying that's your case SM, just a general observation. people tend to idealize first love as a part of childhood nostalgia, when they didn't have any adult responsibilities and didn't know that much about the dark side of human nature. it's like a lost paradise or something 

 

Edited May 23, 2016 by netcat

[Len Cnut]

Is she fit?  If so, play your cards right and you might be on for a result!  A bit extra, if you get my meaning.  

[SoulMonster]

5 hours ago, netcat said:

i think everybody feels nostalgic about their childhood love from time to time. but most of all it happens when we're somehow unhappy about our current relationship or partner. not saying that's your case SM, just a general observation. people tend to idealize first love as a part of childhood nostalgia, when they didn't have any adult responsibilities and didn't know that much about the dark side of human nature. it's like a lost paradise or something 

Nostalgia could definitely be a factor. I just visited my hometown, slept in my old room, ate food my mother cooked for me, ran the old routes, walked all the overgrown paths. I found myself longing for the simplicity of my life back then. And I met her. Sure, this could all be connected.

Yes, you tend to explore alternatives when you are unhappy with things. It doesn't fit my situation, though, I have never felt better about my relationship. There has been times, though, mostly in previous relationships, when it has been hard and I have found myself thinking more about how life would be with someone else. I guess we all do. And we browse for new jobs when we dislike the one we have. But again, it doesn't really fit.

The more I think about it, the more I feel nostalgia is part of the answer. Thank you!

 

[SoulMonster]

7 hours ago, Len B'stard said:

Is she fit?  If so, play your cards right and you might be on for a result!  A bit extra, if you get my meaning.  

Not doing that!

But fidelity is an interesting topic. Who hasn't pondered the morality of being unfaithful if you know it won't hurt the one you love or your relationship in any way? Who hasn't thought about having sex with someone new for the sheer novelty after the routine of years of only sleeping with the same person? I have never been unfaithful, though, and I stopped pondering such things quite some time ago. I never could shake the feeling that even if it was purely a sexual thing and I was able to keep it a secret, I would still loath myself for betraying trust. She might be blissfully unaware but I would be punishing myself endlessly And now I don't find myself tempted much anymore. I am not dead inside in that sense, just more in control and sensible. If there is anything that makes me realize that I am old is the fact that I have stopped falling in love with about every second girl I meet and stopped pondering the right or wrong about fucking others Is it the reality of being a father in a long-term relationship that desensitises certain biological functions?

Infidelity also goes back to that ebb and flows of relationships that netcat mentioned. Sometimes you get a bit restless and look for other options. I think that is normal for everyone. I was in a bit of a difficult relationship many years ago myself, we struggled hard to keep it working. Real hard. Eventually she probably realized it was a lost cause and found a way out, someone to fall into as she left me. A safety net, I guess. No empty apartment for her. No lonely evenings. I don't know if she was unfaithful in the sexual sense before she broke up with me, but I knew she had fallen for someone else. Her love obviously did not belong to me any more, it was a kind of infidelity of the heart more than the body, I guess. I also guess that infedelity is worse than when it is just an emotionless sex type thing. Anyway, I never blamed her for it. It made the break easier for one of us at least and you can't really control your heart, and she had the good sense to see it wasn't going anywhere. We were better for it both.

[Whiskey Rose]

14 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

 

The reason I write this, in addition to try to express something which I find complicated and that I want to add something to thiss thread, is that I met her the other day. And naturally that made me think more about her. She didn't recognize me, it was at the grocer's and she was talking to someone else. But I did contact her on social media afterwards. She was happy to talk to me, we were good friends back in the day, and we decided to meet up the next time I am in her city. I am anxious about this. It would be disastrous if the old love was resurrected, I am happy with how my life is and certainly don't need that. I don't really fear it though, since I haven't been able to fall in love in many years now. It kind of died when I met my wife, or kids. On the other hand, maybe it would be great to talk to her and open up about the old love, to get some kind of closure for me? To finally get it over it. And maybe when I see her now, at 40ish, with a whole life of her own, and not as that girl I fell in love with aand which I guess is the subject for my love, I can realize that person don't exist anymore and lay it to rest for good? Maybe it is just what I need?

SoulMonster, I can see that there are a certain number of regular posters in these subforums, so I hope you'll excuse me butting in here. But I feel the need to say, if you are truly serious about meeting up with this woman, Don't. Don't do it. It is inappropriate. Why open a door that has potential danger to your wife and children lurking behind it? This is the problem with social media..everyone has the old bf or gf that they look upon with nostalgia as the previous poster said; those relationships without the weight of reality pressing in from all sides..but whereas years ago people would just get on with their lives, now there is a way to actually contact these past flames, and it can have disastrous consequences on marriages. How would your wife feel if she knew you actually, with intent, sought out another woman, and made plans to meet up with her? It is not the right thing to do, and I think you ultimately recognize this. You need to fondly lay to rest, on your own, that young boy who never proclaimed his love, and fully embrace the husband and father that you now are. Close the door.  

[ZoSoRose]

I ate a cheeseburger tonight

[SoulMonster]

2 hours ago, Wagszilla said:

Is this slang? 

No, he literally loves cheeseburgers.

[Len Cnut]

12 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

Not doing that!

But fidelity is an interesting topic. Who hasn't pondered the morality of being unfaithful if you know it won't hurt the one you love or your relationship in any way? Who hasn't thought about having sex with someone new for the sheer novelty after the routine of years of only sleeping with the same person? I have never been unfaithful, though, and I stopped pondering such things quite some time ago. I never could shake the feeling that even if it was purely a sexual thing and I was able to keep it a secret, I would still loath myself for betraying trust. She might be blissfully unaware but I would be punishing myself endlessly And now I don't find myself tempted much anymore. I am not dead inside in that sense, just more in control and sensible. If there is anything that makes me realize that I am old is the fact that I have stopped falling in love with about every second girl I meet and stopped pondering the right or wrong about fucking others Is it the reality of being a father in a long-term relationship that desensitises certain biological functions?

Infidelity also goes back to that ebb and flows of relationships that netcat mentioned. Sometimes you get a bit restless and look for other options. I think that is normal for everyone. I was in a bit of a difficult relationship many years ago myself, we struggled hard to keep it working. Real hard. Eventually she probably realized it was a lost cause and found a way out, someone to fall into as she left me. A safety net, I guess. No empty apartment for her. No lonely evenings. I don't know if she was unfaithful in the sexual sense before she broke up with me, but I knew she had fallen for someone else. Her love obviously did not belong to me any more, it was a kind of infidelity of the heart more than the body, I guess. I also guess that infedelity is worse than when it is just an emotionless sex type thing. Anyway, I never blamed her for it. It made the break easier for one of us at least and you can't really control your heart, and she had the good sense to see it wasn't going anywhere. We were better for it both.

Listen mate, if there's some spare going well then...yknow...with the best of intentions and all that   'i would punish myself' fuckin' hell sunshine, what do you sound like?!?  Listen right, you're a man of science right?  It's just jiggling a few molecules, mixing a few chemicals, think of it as research . Its not like you're out to harm anybody are ya, you'll and the dream girl get a giggle, you tick a bucket list box and the missus is none the wiser, who gets hurt here?

Nah, fuck that, its more than that, you owe to the kid in you, you owe it to the hours and days and weeks and months little Soulie whittled away weeping wondering what Olga from Oslo was like when the lights go out and the curtains are drawn.

I mean think about it right, life is so incidental and truth is stranger than fiction, think of all the possibilities of life, all the things that might've happened in life that if you'd've known about em would've changed the course of your life, negatively or positively.  But they never happened or you never found out so nobodys none the wiser.  And its not really infidelity to seek a thrill is it?  I mean what are marriage vows end of the day, whats the important bit, its the caring and sharing and regard and not wanting the missus to get hurt...bangin' another bird dont change that, does it?  Think of it as an exerise is caring for the missus cuz if you really care you'll hide it well .  You're just seeking an avenue of pleasure, momentarily to cause an internal chemical reaction to make you feel good for a bit, like a line of sniff or a couple of pints with your mates...and who could begrudge a man that eh, i mean its not like you're about to do a Gaugin here, is it?

And if you really think about it, do you ever really know what your others been up to anyway, really?

Edited May 24, 2016 by Len B'stard

[SoulMonster]

2 minutes ago, Len B'stard said:

Listen mate, if there's some spare going well then...yknow...with the best of intentions and all that   'i would punish myself' fuckin' hell sunshine, what do you sound like?!?  Listen right, you're a man of science right?  It's just jiggling a few molecules, mixing a few chemicals, think of it as research . Its not like you're out to harm anybody are ya, you'll and the dream girl get a giggle, you tick a bucket list box and the missus is none the wiser, who gets hurt here?

Nah, fuck that, its more than that, you owe to the kid in you, you owe it to the hours and days and weeks and months little Soulie whittled away weeping wondering what Olga from Oslo was like when the lights go out and the curtains are drawn.

I mean think about it right, life is so incidental and truth is stranger than fiction, think of all the possibilities of life, all the things that might've happened in life that if you'd've known about em would've changed the course of your life, negatively or positively.  But they never happened or you never found out so nobodys none the wiser.  And its not really infidelity to seek a thrill is it?  I mean what are marriage vows end of the day, whats the important bit, its the caring and sharing and regard and not wanting the missus to get hurt...bangin' another bird dont change that, does it?  Think of it as an exerise is caring for the missus cuz if you really care you'll hide it well .  You're just seeking an avenue of pleasure, momentarily to cause an internal chemical reaction to make you feel good for a bit, like a line of sniff or a couple of pints with your mates...and who could begrudge a man that eh, i mean its not like you're about to do a Gaugin here, is it?

So much bollocks I could smell it

[Len Cnut]

I'm just trying to assist in the enrichment of your life Soulie . Thats another thing, make sure you wash your bollocks afterwards, its a very particular smell yknow, saliva and ballbags

Edited May 24, 2016 by Len B'stard

[netcat]

6 hours ago, Len B'stard said:

Listen mate, if there's some spare going well then...yknow...with the best of intentions and all that   'i would punish myself' fuckin' hell sunshine, what do you sound like?!?  Listen right, you're a man of science right?  It's just jiggling a few molecules, mixing a few chemicals, think of it as research . Its not like you're out to harm anybody are ya, you'll and the dream girl get a giggle, you tick a bucket list box and the missus is none the wiser, who gets hurt here?

Nah, fuck that, its more than that, you owe to the kid in you, you owe it to the hours and days and weeks and months little Soulie whittled away weeping wondering what Olga from Oslo was like when the lights go out and the curtains are drawn.

I mean think about it right, life is so incidental and truth is stranger than fiction, think of all the possibilities of life, all the things that might've happened in life that if you'd've known about em would've changed the course of your life, negatively or positively.  But they never happened or you never found out so nobodys none the wiser.  And its not really infidelity to seek a thrill is it?  I mean what are marriage vows end of the day, whats the important bit, its the caring and sharing and regard and not wanting the missus to get hurt...bangin' another bird dont change that, does it?  Think of it as an exerise is caring for the missus cuz if you really care you'll hide it well .  You're just seeking an avenue of pleasure, momentarily to cause an internal chemical reaction to make you feel good for a bit, like a line of sniff or a couple of pints with your mates...and who could begrudge a man that eh, i mean its not like you're about to do a Gaugin here, is it?

And if you really think about it, do you ever really know what your others been up to anyway, really?

Begone 

[Len Cnut]

Soulies Faustus and I'm the DEV-ill, muwahahahahahaaha

[PappyTron]

1 hour ago, Len B'stard said:

Soulies Faustus and I'm the DEV-ill, muwahahahahahaaha

Well, Faust does translate as Fist...

[Len Cnut]

Fistus by Christopher Armlowe, i like it!

Edited May 24, 2016 by Len B'stard