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10 Worst GNR Songs (Houston Press Article)


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THE 10 WORST GUNS N’ ROSES SONGS

BY JEF ROUNER
THURSDAY, MAY 21, 2015 | 3 HOURS AGO

The first four albums I ever owned were the first four albums Guns N’ Roses ever made. I wouldn’t even say that they were my favorite band growing up because there weren’t other bands. Music would flicker in and out of MTV but only Axl, Slash and the gang were good enough to come home and be in my stereo until well into middle school. So when I say that not everything they ever did was fantastic you know I’m coming from a learn’d place. Many years down the road I find myself looking back on these records and having to acknowledge that there was a lot that simply wasn’t great. Today we’re going to point them out.

Note: I’m being fair here; we’re talking about Guns N’ Roses proper. Nothing after Use Your Illusion II and no cover songs, hence The Spaghetti Incident’s exclusion. I’m offering the band the best handicap I can. Now let’s roll.

10. "MY MICHELLE"
Appetite For Destruction remains a nearly perfect rock and roll record. It spawned five hit singles and the deep cuts like “I Think About You” hold up just as well. One of the few exceptions is “My Michelle”, which is frankly a mess. It’s strengthens the album’s themes of self-harm and a loose rock lifestyle, but more than anything it’s the best example of why early Guns were consider an inferior Aerosmith rip-off act. It’s a tune that really wants to hit hard but sounds painfully adolescent now.

9. "THE GARDEN"
This is another well-liked song that gets by on some undeserved accolades. Most notably it features Alice Cooper on guest vocals, who was going through one of the highest points in his career with the trilogy of Trash, Hey Stoopid and The Last Temptation being recorded around this time. Despite Cooper giving it his all the song lacks Rose’s trademark skill with phrasing, turning a song about death into trite pretentious hair metal track. Add to the fact that the video for the song is unforgivably boring, especially for a band responsible for some of the best music videos of two decades and it’s become a regular skipper in my iPod.

8. "YOU'RE CRAZY"
G N’ R Lies is going to come up a lot in this article, I’m afraid. Frankly, it never should have existed in the band’s discography, being cobbled together to capitalize on the success of Appetite while the band worked on their next real record. This acoustic version of “You’re Crazy” was actually closer to the original intention than the electric one that appears on Appetite, but it’s without the speed it it’s also without balls. Plus, while the acoustic sessions do in fact sound pretty good, they also represent a very tired band that needed a holiday much more than they needed a cash-grab. The vocals make that very clear.

7. "SHOTGUN BLUES"
The second Use Your Illusion album is probably the best of the original four albums, with few real misses. It does have “Shotgun Blues,” though, a really, really pointless song. First of all it comes right after “Get In the Ring,” which is already a puerile hate anthem but with far superior musicality and a killer guitar line to boot. “Shotgun Blues” has none of that, just Rose phoning in some very predictable rhymes and a solo that sounds like Slash was inspired by a need to finish recording and get to the bathroom.

6. "BACK OFF BITCH"
I am still not convinced that this is not a Britny Fox song that made it onto a Guns N’ Roses album somehow. Who’s Britny Fox? Exactly.

5. "USED TO LOVE HER"

Sometimes songs just remind you how much the world has changed. 1986 was a time when you could casually sing about killing a woman who complained too much and everyone would just laugh and laugh and laugh. I certainly thought it was funny when I was ten. I now take some comfort that the song is actually about Axl’s dog according to Slash. No, wait, that’s still terrible. Man, everyone in the ‘80s was kind of an asshole, huh?

4. "BAD OBSESSION"
Izzy Stradlin never gets enough credit for his songwriting skills, and neither did poor West Arkeen when he was with us. And “Bad Obsession” is actually a pretty good track, well-written and low-key. The only problem with it is it’s played like utter garbage on the record. For years I thought the title was “Battle Station” because of how Axl sings it as if he wants to be a kazoo when he grows up. I mostly rank this so high because it could have been a really wonderful recording if yet another song wasn’t so busy blowing Aerosmith.

3. "SO FINE"
Duff McKagan’s sole solo writing credit doesn’t speak well for him, sadly. It sounds more like a Paul McCartney song than the actual Paul McCartney song on the album. It has the same sappy sentimentality apparent in “Civil War” but without the energy and edge Axl and Slash contributed. Plus, on an album that already contains “Estranged” and for some reason an alternative version of “Don’t Cry,” you simply do not need another love song like this. It’s prom slow-dance music.

2. "ONE IN A MILLION"
Oh you knew this was coming. Racist, homophobic and thoroughly unoriginal, it’s amazing that even in 1986 someone put this on a record and expected no one to complain. To this day Axl says he doesn’t see what all the fuss is about, but you could play this song at a Tea Party rally and get a standing ovation. I know that conservatives stole rock and roll from us when we were all buying Jncos and pogs but come on, it shouldn’t be this bad.

1. "MY WORLD"
This was the last track on the magnum opus of the biggest band in the world at the time, a strange hybrid of industrial and bad rap that had no place on one of the last great rock records. It was the final original song send-off for G N’ R, and yet everyone was so surprised when Axl surprised us with “Oh My God” and we wondered what the hell had happened to one of the greatest songwriters of the ‘80s and ‘90s. So that’s what earns “My World” No. 1 spot, for being the shade of things to come.

Now excuse me, I’m off to listen to “Breakdown” on repeat.

http://www.houstonpress.com/music/the-10-worst-guns-n-roses-songs-7446815

Dont agree with majority of them apart from No. 1 - My World

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Yeah, the fuck outta here with that list.

My Michelle, The Garden, You're Crazy, Bad Obsession, Used To Love Her and One In A Million are all great Guns N Roses songs.

I can't argue My World, Back Off Bitch, Shotgun Blues...I like So Fine but that's just me.

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My World, So Fine + whatever 8 songs you want from CD. Or are we calling a spade a spade at this point and admitting CD isn't GNR?

Yeah, I was under the impression it's the ten worst Guns N Roses songs, so I didn't think CD counted.

Laughable. Guns N' Roses don't have a bad song.

I wouldn't go that far :confused:

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Yeah, it's never cease to amaze me when these pseudo libtard "male feminists" wrote articles about GNR related things...

The Noisey article and now this...

give me a break

None of these songs are really bad, not even My World, but that was the only legitimate candidate, but that was merely an outro and a joke song...

Some of these songs are their best rocking songs... what the actual fuck...

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No songs from Chinese Democracy because this writer is only using songs from the classic lineup.

As for being a "male feminist," I never understood what is wrong with that. If you believe that women should be treated fairly and equally with men (same pay for similar work, no glass ceiling etc.), you are a feminist.

Edited by RichardNixon
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As for being a "male feminist," I never understood what is wrong with that. If you believe that women should be treated fairly and equally with men (same pay for similar work, no glass ceiling etc.), you are a feminist.

It is rather last week's news but,

Cameron-Miliband-Clegg-feminist-Tshirt.j

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Mad World, So Fine, and Shotgun Blues are less than stellar, but not sure how the writer finds fault in any of the other songs. In most cases he seems to be taking issue with the lyrics versus the musical component. I've never been too caught in lyrics as I largely think they don't matter when musically a song is well written.

But hey, to each their own.

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My World, So Fine + whatever 8 songs you want from CD. Or are we calling a spade a spade at this point and admitting CD isn't GNR?

Yeah, I was under the impression it's the ten worst Guns N Roses songs, so I didn't think CD counted.

Laughable. Guns N' Roses don't have a bad song.

I wouldn't go that far :confused:

Each to his own. I'm not saying every song is great or that there aren't weaker sons in the catalogue but from my point of view there's not a single Guns N' Roses song I do not enjoy and I wouldn't label any of them as ''bad''.

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Get in the Ring, Back off bitch and One in a million may be offensive but they are well written songs musically. Maybe they are a bit silly.

Don't Damn Me has great lyrics but musically a bit clunky.

In love the energy and lyrics of RNDTH and DTJ but they seem incomplete.

Locomotive also isn't really a song it's a instrumental jam with introspective lyrics.

Coma again isn't exactly a tune, but great lyrics and vocals and solos.

Perfect Crime and Garden of Eden are fast but there's lack of melody.

Bad Obsession goes on a bit. Pretty Tied Up too. Shotgun a bit throwaway.

It does help narrow down my Illusion album.

1. Dust N Bones

2. Don't Cry

3. November Rain

4. The Garden

5. Bad Apples

6. Dead Horse

7. Civil War

8. 14 Years

9. Yesterdays

10. Breakdown

11. So Fine

12. Estranged

13. You Could Be Mine

Hard to argue with these.

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I don't see You're Crazy going acoustic made it lose "balls". If anything the stripped down sound gives it a mean, in your face, type of feel. And I love the vocals on it.

If you're going to put an AFD song on there, I have no clue how you include My Michelle over Anything Goes or Think About You. That's just silly.

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I think its an interesting list. I agree with most of what is said here, these are mostly great songs. I personally think My World is garbage and I am not the biggest fan of Shotgun Blues. I like the challenge of picking 10 songs though. I can't even say I actually dislike all of the songs I ended up including on my list below. In fact, I really like several of them haha.

If I had to create a list of the 10 'worst' GNR songs from the first 4 albums sans cover songs they would be in no particular order:

  1. My World
  2. Shotgun Blues
  3. Don't Cry (alt)
  4. Move to the City
  5. Get in the Ring
  6. Bad Apples
  7. Back Off Bitch
  8. You Ain't the First
  9. Anything Goes
  10. Don't Damn Me

Christ picking those last 2 was hard. I expect to be crucified for putting Anything Goes on there. And no you aren't misreading, I purposely didn't put So Fine on this list. I love that song.

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No songs from Chinese Democracy because this writer is only using songs from the classic lineup.

As for being a "male feminist," I never understood what is wrong with that. If you believe that women should be treated fairly and equally with men (same pay for similar work, no glass ceiling etc.), you are a feminist.

No, you're a sane person if you believe this. Not a feminist. Most of the feminists just butthurt or an extremely liberal butthurt

But this is sligghtly off topic so we should end this debate here

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My World, So Fine + whatever 8 songs you want from CD. Or are we calling a spade a spade at this point and admitting CD isn't GNR?

Yeah, I was under the impression it's the ten worst Guns N Roses songs, so I didn't think CD counted.

:rofl-lol: God dammit, DOOM, you witty bastard

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