Wankers In Popular Music & Film (thread to take the piss out of 'artists' you think are tossers)

[Len Cnut]

This'll be a good laugh for a thread, somewhere to take the piss out of all the fuckin' wankers out there, and lets face it in the world of popular music/movies etc, it's fuckin' full of em. Also, taking the piss is my favourite pasttime so, y'know, logical!

Number 1, Sir Cliff Richard, picture says it all really, saggy wrinkley dyed hair and trainers wearing, patronising, religionoid twat-face that makes shit music. And who might very well be a pedophile. Denies being gay, has been living up in the Highlands with a vicar who is his 'friend' for 20 plus years Famously lit candles in Trafalgar Square 'for Jesus and in protest of punk'.

Crimes to popular music include Summer Holiday, Living Doll and Devil Woman.

Edited July 14, 2015 by Len B'stard

[Towelie]

The pedo comment is a bit harsh. Of course anyone with a brain cell knows he's a sausage jockey, but a nonce? Nah, I don't buy it, not Cliff. My nan would turn in her grave if she was dead.

But then I refused to believe Rolf was a pedo until they exposed child porn on his laptop. Even now I have a hard time swallowing that. Shame Rolf didn't.

Also, what's wrong with wearing trainers?

[Towelie]

Axl Rose

Useless lump of a man who was one fifth of an awesome band a quarter of a century ago, whose only friends and family are the leeches on his payroll, who would likely run a mile from this batshit, immature, bitter hasbeen if he didn't continue to fund the lifestyle to which they have grown accustomed.

Had the arrogance and gall to carry on the band as the sole original member as if he was the only one of any real significance, and still manages to drive away the most talented replacements through his laziness which he masquerades as perfectionism.

Edited July 14, 2015 by Towelie

[Len Cnut]

The pedo comment is a bit harsh. Of course anyone with a brain cell knows he's a sausage jockey, but a nonce? Nah

Well I'm not sure either as such, hence the 'might very well be', due to his being investigated by Operation Yewtree.

My nan would turn in her grave if she was dead.

But then I refused to believe Rolf was a pedo until they exposed child porn on his laptop. Even now I have a hard time swallowing that. Shame Rolf didn't.

Thank you, very much in the spirit i intended this thread to be!

Also, what's wrong with wearing trainers?

Everything if you are a 70 yr old popstar with a dyed barnet that wears em with a suit.

[maynard]

The onyl one I can think of is Axl Rose.

[Johnny Drama]

The good ones are all turds personally speaking.

[ZoSoRose]

Kanye and Beeber

[Towelie]

Justin Bieber

And I couldn't bring myself to post a picture of him.

Douchey little white trash brat, who represents everything repugnant about todays narcissistic, shallow, selfie-obsessed generation. He is completely devoid of any self-awareness or of what a gigantic twat he looks taking countless pictures of himself with his top off as if he is the first and only man ever to have achieved a six-pack and as if the world needs to be reminded of this on a daily basis.

He thinks that hanging around black people will make him urban by association, when his music couldn't be any further removed from rhythm and blues, hip-hop, soul or any legitimate offshoot of black culture. Dipshits who know jackshit about real music are impressed because he can strum a few chords on the guitar or hold down a beat on a drumkit as if that is now some kind of accomplishment for someone who trades as a musician. In reality he probably has less actual talent than the busker outside your local Oxfam on a Saturday morning, but the reason he is a millionaire and the busker isn't is because moist pre-pubescent girls and creepy adults lust over him.

[Len Cnut]

Presenting Ozzy Osbourne for your consideration, this thoroughly useless spare tit has been pumping out bollocks in a steady stream since the 70s, dreadful fucking music, ridiculous Prince of Darkness (help, help, Birmingham factory fodder is coming to get me...in bat form!) image, a saggy old fucking cunt that proves admirably that drink and drugs alone cannot make a man look cool, no matter how hard he tries. This dreadful waste of fucking cells would probably be largely forgotten except in the hearts of a pack of smelly greasers that no one gives a shit about were it not for his engaging in that that dreadful cultural abberation of the 21st Century, his own reality show whereupon he parades his fuckin' mongo family around and staggers semi-bewildered looking through 30 minutes of relentless boredom going 'fookin' Sharon the fookin' dogs fookin' pissed on the fookin' rug!'.

Lets face it, the only use for this cunt would've been making shoes in a rathole in Birmingham, only to be found dead in his back garden having gone to use his outside toilet at 3am whilst pissed as a fucking newt, slipping and breaking his neck.

Ozzy Osbourne, what a cunt

Edited July 14, 2015 by Len B'stard

[Towelie]

^^ Ozzy may have the intellect of a shit-eating fly, but Black Sabbath were a great band back in the day. And he also did some good solo stuff in a kitschy kind of way.

[username]

Kanye and Beeber

By far the worst two right now.

They make Liam Gallagher look like a modest sweetheart.

[Słash]

I was going to Say Axl, but well that is pretty obvious.

I would say Ritchie Blackmore and Ian Gillian, I really don't get the fight between them, Blackmore is an amazing guitarist, but it seems both of them have Ego problems, Blackmore can do much better stuff, but he is playing in some folk band with his wife, which represents god knows which century.

[Johnny Drama]

Presenting Ozzy Osbourne for your consideration, this thoroughly useless spare tit has been pumping out bollocks in a steady stream since the 70s, dreadful fucking music, ridiculous Prince of Darkness (help, help, Birmingham factory fodder is coming to get me...in bat form!) image, a saggy old fucking cunt that proves admirably that drink and drugs alone cannot make a man look cool, no matter how hard he tries. This dreadful waste of fucking cells would probably be largely forgotten except in the hearts of a pack of smelly greasers that no one gives a shit about were it not for his engaging in that that dreadful cultural abberation of the 21st Century, his own reality show whereupon he parades his fuckin' mongo family around and staggers semi-bewildered looking through 30 minutes of relentless boredom going 'fookin' Sharon the fookin' dogs fookin' pissed on the fookin' rug!'.

Lets face it, the only use for this cunt would've been making shoes in a rathole in Birmingham, only to be found dead in his back garden having gone to use his outside toilet at 3am whilst pissed as a fucking newt, slipping and breaking his neck.

Ozzy Osbourne, what a cunt

I love you, but I hate you.

[DieselDaisy]

Gene Simmons

W. Axl Rose

Gary Glitter

Bono

This'll be a good laugh for a thread, somewhere to take the piss out of all the fuckin' wankers out there, and lets face it in the world of popular music/movies etc, it's fuckin' full of em. Also, taking the piss is my favourite pasttime so, y'know, logical!

Number 1, Sir Cliff Richard, picture says it all really, saggy wrinkley dyed hair and trainers wearing, patronising, religionoid twat-face that makes shit music. And who might very well be a pedophile. Denies being gay, has been living up in the Highlands with a vicar who is his 'friend' for 20 plus years Famously lit candles in Trafalgar Square 'for Jesus and in protest of punk'.

Crimes to popular music include Summer Holiday, Living Doll and Devil Woman.

I am a bit of a Cliff hater myself, although perhaps not for the same reasons you state, but the words of Lennon, this was the closest Britain had to a genuine rock n' roll single that bordered on anything,

[Gackt]

Dear, Dave Mustaine

I love you Dave and I've loved almost all of your albums, but since getting back with Ellefson you've had really shitty judgement about the direction of the band and how it should sound, and alienating everyone else including the fans in the process to release the garbage heap of an album called Super Collider

I'd rather you patch things up with Metallica and play with them for a reunion tour rather than continue with Megadeth as it is now

with love, Gackt

[Słash]

From Metallica I remembered, LARS ULLRICH, his attitude with everyone and he should learn to play the drums lol

[Len Cnut]

Next up on this compendium of cockmongers, this dictionary of dicks, a man who's such a cock that his name almost sounds like a playground euphemism for an erection, yes sir, it's Bono.

Now the Irish were responsible for several acts of terrorism on Great Britain throughout the 1980s but none so traumatic, none so damaging as this particular assault against fashion and good taste, after attending a gig by The Clash little Paulie Hewson from Dublin decided that he was in fact the Messiah and was going to change the world by way of pop music and he set about doing this through a band called U2, although as the story unfolds i think you'll all agree that 'Me First' might've been a more accurate name for this cocksucker and his band of merry homosexuals.

Somewhere in the mid 80s, having bored himself to brainless making shite music he decided that he was going to appoint himself as the western worlds foremost representative of the continent of Africa, thereby using their famine and misery and despair to promote himself and his repulsively fuckin' shite music to where not owning a U2 album because a counter humanitarian act.

Positioning himself as some kind of socialist all-in-together-now right on man of the people he's actually a flaming capitalist, variously attempting to hawk phones or posh sunglasses, of which of course 30p goes to digging a well for young Babatunde in Mogadishu from whence he can draw water for drinking, so when you walk down the street with your posh new phone or sunglasses looking like a fucking cunt, not only will everyone think you're a cunt, they'll think you're being a cunt to save Africans, which of course is the ultimate sacrifice. And he does all this whilst dodging taxes because of course, if history has taught us anything it's the equality is the way forward, one rule for all or not at all.

And if all that wasn't enough, this tiresome wankbag, like the perenially un-hip middle aged uncle that he is, has made a career of attempting to align himself with any and every halfway hip artist out there in an effort to raise his own level of credibility, whether it be Morrissey or The Clash or Joey Ramone or The Sex Pistols, you can bet your last Rolo he'll be there in the documentary, attempting to accentuate some tenuous link between himself and them, claiming how they 'wrote the rulebook for U2'.

I'm sure you all agree, an absolute cunt and perhaps the most deserving to be on this list.

[Towelie]

Oh yes, Bono is the cunt to end all cunts. This thread has now become redundant as no future candidates will be able to match up to Bono's level of douchebaggery, not even Mick Hucknall.

[Len Cnut]

fret ye not me ol' amigo for I will surely enjoy myself trying

[username]

I forgot Bono, but yeah he's a colossal holier than thou cunt. What a self-absorbed hypocritical twat.

I love his music, sadly.

I imagine him having a 140x100 painting of himself with a halo and angel wings above his fireplace where he sits in his old man chair every night listening to U2 and masturbating.

Edited July 16, 2015 by username

[dalsh327]

Len, did you have her on your list?

[Len Cnut]

Len, did you have her on your list?

No but you're welcome to attempt a justification, none are sacred here

[bacardimayne]

dee fucking snider

[Towelie]

Len, did you have her on your list?

Oh, I can do her...

Narcissistic, attention-seeking whore who sucked her way to the top and continued sucking the dicks of DJs, record producers, songwriters, film directors, record company bigwigs and anybody who would further her career.

Her dreadful live vocals make you grateful for the advent of lip-synched pop concerts (which she helped pioneer). This hagged old talentless granny is directly responsible for the younger generation of whorebags such as Miley Cyrus and Nikki Minaj, baring their breasts and whipping out their skanky minge hoping nobody will notice their shocking lack of actual talent.

As if this dubious legacy is not enough, this shameless slut continues to flop out her near six-decade-old saggy tits to this day - more than fifteen years after masquerading as a new-age, born-again, earth mother. Once that act grew old and failed to recoup, out came the trusty old knockers again, only saggier and less appealing than the first time.

This opportunistic and calculating whore is also a serial abortionist according to many biographers. Even if you support pro-choice, by the time you've had the ninth foetuses skull crushed someone really needs to tell you that abortions are not a form of birth control and you need to stop murdering babies.

Edited July 16, 2015 by Towelie

[tomfriend]

The pedo comment is a bit harsh. Of course anyone with a brain cell knows he's a sausage jockey, but a nonce? Nah, I don't buy it, not Cliff. My nan would turn in her grave if she was dead. But then I refused to believe Rolf was a pedo until they exposed child porn on his laptop. Even now I have a hard time swallowing that. Shame Rolf didn't.Also, what's wrong with wearing trainers?

The pedo comment is harsh? I'd suggest a quick Google of Cliff Richard Elm Guest House.