Len Cnut Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Thats the spirit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfriend Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Lulu. Not even sure she's known in the US but she's been blighting screens in the UK for nigh on 50 years, mysteriously being touted as some enduring elder stateswoman of music. A legend, despite the fact that her legacy basically amounts to one shit cover song (Shout) and a cameo on another shit cover song (Relight My Fire) 30 years later.Her singing voice is a piercing, nasal shriek akin to Wee Jimmy Crankie with a throatful of spunk, scotch and shortbread and just as Scottish. Sadly her hit seems to have been embraced by the kind of Jilly-Come-Lately cunts who recently swapped reality shows and Heat magazine subscriptions for attending vintage fairs, meaning bars and restaurants are not beyond blaring it out on occasion. "We-e-e-e-ellll" is all it takes for my testicles to retreat and not come back down for a week. Her speaking voice is full of all the simpering, cloying and patronising faux-wisdom of a high school guidance counselor, usually droning on about the oversexualisation of women in pop (something she knows nothing about given her era of fame and the fact that she always held about as much sex appeal as a Freddy Krueger handjob) or trying to sell a low fat spread in a commercial.And that's another thing. When Dracululu emerges from her coffin dwelling these days it is more often than not to sell some age-defying skin cream with her name on it. Evidently she is under the misapprehension that she has aged spectacularly well, and not merely reasonably and without resorting to too much surgery.In short, her entire persona and career is built off the back of being an unappealing chancer who has rewritten her own history and deluded the world into thinking she's something she ain't. Well you're not fooling me. Take your money and fuck off. Edited October 30, 2015 by tomfriend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 http://www.openculture.com/2012/09/jimi_hendrix_wreaks_havoc_on_the_lulu_show_gets_banned_from_bbc.html 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfriend Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 http://www.openculture.com/2012/09/jimi_hendrix_wreaks_havoc_on_the_lulu_show_gets_banned_from_bbc.htmlAnd there you have it. The best moment of her career and her only involvement was in trying to prevent it from happening so she could do something shit instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfriend Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Cilla must have been livid. There's sure only room for one hideously accented, toothy broad to have 'spent some time in the proximity of the Beatles' on their list of crowning achievements. Edited October 30, 2015 by tomfriend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Jay Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Paul McCartney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 She also married to a Bee Gee, the one who used to booze with Ringo and John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfriend Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 And? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Two nonces for the price of one,PSThe sad thing about Saville is, you can find a picture of him fraternising with virtually everybody's favourite group, Edited October 30, 2015 by DieselDaisy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bacardimayne Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) The existence of this thread was for your benefit 'cardi, so you could all continue having deep and meaningful conversations about your favourite 'artists' and not be bothered by anybody commenting along the sorts of lines of what people ACTUALLY think about em, never no more were you to be subjected to a comment that made your eyes all teary and resulted in the comment 'KANYE WEST IS A MUSICAL GENIUS!' But that's never happened. I don't think Kanye is a genius. Yeezus was average and I'm expecting the next album to be a brick. This thread is nothing more than a platform for you and the other Britshits to scream "BOLLOCKS" about legends like Elton John. Absolutely no substance in the criticism, just "HE'S A FUCKIN POOF N HE'S NEVER WRITTEN A GOOD FUCKIN SONG INNIT". Annex the British. Edited October 30, 2015 by bacardimayne 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) The existence of this thread was for your benefit 'cardi, so you could all continue having deep and meaningful conversations about your favourite 'artists' and not be bothered by anybody commenting along the sorts of lines of what people ACTUALLY think about em, never no more were you to be subjected to a comment that made your eyes all teary and resulted in the comment 'KANYE WEST IS A MUSICAL GENIUS!' This thread is nothing more than a platform for you and the other Britshits to scream "BOLLOCKS" about legends like Elton John. Absolutely no substance in the criticism, just "HE'S A FUCKIN POOF N HE'S NEVER WRITTEN A GOOD FUCKIN SONG INNIT".Pretty much What sort of criticism of substance were you expecting from a thread which title was 'thread to take the piss out of artists' Tell me, what part of the phrase 'take the piss' made you think that the content of this thread would be like Christgau, Lester Bangs and Daphne Brooks having a round-table conference? Edited October 30, 2015 by Len B'stard 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfriend Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 We can't all be as fair-minded and moderate as bacardi 'annex the British' mayne. But we can aspire to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Anne Robinson. I'd burn her alive in Lionel Blair's tanning bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 Why do you not like Lionel Blair? Having said that, i can't think of a reason to like Lionel Blair either soooo.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I don't know. Tap dancing on Wogan puts you on my to kill list. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I believe I have already mentioned Gene Simmons. One image suffices,“This is the ultimate Kiss collectible...I love living, but this makes the alternative look pretty damn good.”There is really no words, is there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 It's difficult for me to offer any specific critique on Kiss cuz I've never really given em a go...just seen pictures of em and its like, nah, can't be having that. If you look that big a wally there is absolutely no possibility of there being any quality music involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 It is irrespective of the music as I think his entire fan base revolted at the Kiss coffin. The coffin is the pinnacle of crass marketing which has seen Kiss marketed on everything from condoms to cola. Now, you can go on a Kiss Kruise (sic) and support a Kiss American Football Team, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 gene wants to be hated so he gets a pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 Condoms?!? eurgh, i don't think i could get it up with a Kiss johnny on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Introducing the second generation of KISS Kondoms, but the world's first approved condoms to feature a full color image right on the latex! KISS Kondoms are emblazoned with an illustration of Gene Simmons and his famous tongue stretching down the length of the condom! KISS Kondoms are made from premium latex and meet all the highest international standards for testing and reliability. However, one look at these revolutionary rubbers and you'll quickly see that using a KISS Kondom is the surest way to Rock and Roll All Nite long! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 eurghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! oh it's even got the ugly ones tongue on it!!! That is perhaps one of the foulest things I've ever come across...why?!? I've been to umpteen chemists, I've never seen a Kiss johnny! That is absolutely rank, putting on a Johnny with some geezers face with his tongue sticking out of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselDaisy Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 In a roundabout way, Gene Simmons will be giving your loved one oral sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Eric Clapton. Cunt.Stole his best friend's wife. Takes credit for Layla even though Duane Allman plays lead guitar on it. Too many shit covers - again, of mostly black artists. 'Wonderful Tonight' is one of the worst turds ever shat. A 'romantic' song that basically revolves around a dissatisfied housewife being placated with half arsed compliments after her husband gets drunk at a party and she has to drive him home and put him to bed. 'Tears In Heaven' is saccharine, wishy-washy shite regardless of how tragic the circumstances of it's story are.I will agree the racist comment was a cunt thing to say, but then again, he was fucked up on a lot of things back then. He may have stolen George Harrison's wife, but George was too busy stealing Ringo's wife. Clapton DID play lead guitar along with Allman on Layla. Say whatever you want about the other two songs, not something I would listen to on a daily basis. But Layla was a fucking masterpiece and Clapton played most of the guitars on that track. Allman played the bottleneck before the piano part and shared duel lead during the second half. Honestly, I think most of these musicians are wankers or in American terms, jerk offs.. Has anyone talked about that pedophile Jimmy Page yet? EXCELLENT guitarist before his heroin addiction fucked his talent all to hell, but I am forever haunted by that 14 year old groupie, whether or not it was consensual, it was still fucked up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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