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Star Wars Prequels Therapy Thread


Dan H.

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A radical idea was brought up in the other thread. What if the entire prequel trilogy was "de-canonized", and remade by Disney? Some ideas:

Retain Darth Maul as the bad guy in all 3 movies

We meet Anakin as a teen, already using a bastardized version of the Force.

No Qui-Gon Jinn. Only Kenobi.

No Jar Jar. No Jango Fett.

Palpatine has a bigger role. No ambiguity about where the clones came from. Perhaps have Palpatine kill his master.

No lightsabers for Yoda or Palpatine.

Other than that. Free slate.


One more thing regarding a prequel remake: Have Anakin be the stick in the ass uber Jedi, with Padme in love with him instead. That would fit the Vader character better.

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And get actors that actually have chemistry together

Anakin and Kenobi are supposed to be "good friends". Hayden and McGregor were awful in that regard.

Anakin and Padme (shitcan her awful name too) - Zero chemistry. You know a film is awful when it can't even make a romance with Natalie Portman believable.

Revenge of the Sith should have at least half of the movie showing Vader in the suit hunting down and kicking the shit out of the jedi.

No midichlorian bullshit.

Luke has no memory of his mother. Explain why. Leia does. Explain why. The prequels couldn't even get this right.

Yoda should not have met Chewbacca. Just pointless making these kind of connections. The universe is not that small. Same with Anakin building C3PO. Total nonsense. Also Kenobi should never have crossed paths with R2D2.

Fucking hell did Lucas not even watch the originals before making the prequel nonsense?

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-sniffle-

Geor--George--George Lu-lu-lu-lucas...He...He raped my childhood -sniffles-

All those '80s memories of Ewoks and Ronnie Reagan and and and and puppets...All GWONE

:'( Geor--George Luuucas...He...he took that away from me..:'(

You liked Crystal Skull, you aren't allowed to have opinions.

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-sniffle-

Geor--George--George Lu-lu-lu-lucas...He...He raped my childhood -sniffles-

All those '80s memories of Ewoks and Ronnie Reagan and and and and puppets...All GWONE

:'( Geor--George Luuucas...He...he took that away from me..:'(

You liked Crystal Skull, you aren't allowed to have opinions.

I liked Crystal Skull, but not nearly as much as the original three. Aliens automatically put it at a lower level than the first three.

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So you suggest "Star Wars The Real Episode I, That Other One Isn't Canon Anymore"?

Remaking the prequels is ridiculous. They're done, some people like them, some people hate them.

hcLJxaH.gif

Remakes happen all the time in Hollywood. The Star Wars prequels don't deserve some kind of golden calf status.

And I think you are being very generous by saying some people liked them, some people hated them.

They were critically panned. Taking the fanbase at large they are more hated than liked. If it wasn't for the fact that the fans were starved of new content and had invested so much in the story of Vader's fall then the trilogy would have probably flopped commercially too.

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If they remake the prequels I will eat a can of dog food, post it to YouTube and link it here. It's such a ridiculous notion.

Yes because you've heard from every single Star Wars fan in the world.

You have this absolutely absurd and frankly hilarious inability to recognise the complete and utter artistic failure that is the Star Wars prequel trilogy. :lol:

EDIT: Here is a nice explanation for you - http://www.slate.com/blogs/quora/2015/05/03/star_wars_why_does_everyone_hate_the_prequels.html

Edited by Facekicker
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-sniffle-

Geor--George--George Lu-lu-lu-lucas...He...He raped my childhood -sniffles-

All those '80s memories of Ewoks and Ronnie Reagan and and and and puppets...All GWONE

:'( Geor--George Luuucas...He...he took that away from me..:'(

You liked Crystal Skull, you aren't allowed to have opinions.

Crystal Skull was a good Indiana Jones film outside of the stupid gophers.

The Lost Boys was the gayest shit ever, btw.

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Nah

I just don't let trivial things raise my blood pressure and make me post hyperbolic remarks on an 80s band's message board.

:facepalm:

Excellent post. 11/10 would read again.

I knew it would take only a page or two before you'd be behaving like a complete and utter cock just because you can't stand any criticism of the prequels.

You did it multiple times in the past whenever it was brought up and now you are doing it again.

Take that stick out of your ass for fuck sake. :facepalm:

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I don't mind criticism of the prequels. Go ahead. What I find ridiculous is the notion of remaking them or striking them from canon.

I know the movies were very flawed. I still enjoy them.

Again with facepalm. Another 11/10 post.

Edited by luciusfunk
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