Amir Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkforgirls Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Some oldies: What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick up your ass. How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cantona Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? You let the blonde finish sucking before you kill it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 A man was walking naked in the jungle, when all the animals saw him, they ran. The zebra then asked the lion,'even you king of the jungle? Then the lion said 'my friend, lets put jokes aside, That is a strange animal, the tail is in front. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WWEROSES Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 You know what real trust is? Two cannibals giving eachother oral sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 Latvian pirate walk in bar. Have steering wheel in pants. Bartender ask “Why is steering wheel in pants?” Latvian pirate no answer. Also, not really pirate. Just man, delirious from malnutrition. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 Once, I lost my watch in a bar. I couldn't find it, but moments later, i saw the watch getting crushed by a man trying to push and beat a woman. I rushed to the man and said "No one does that to a woman, not on my watch". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 Today I didn't bring my homework to school. The teacher asked me "Why didn't you bring it?" I told her. "It was "Home"work (dipshit)" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveAJones Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Do you know the difference between married men and single men? Single men get home, see nothing new in the fridge and go to the bedroom. Married men get home, see nothing new in the bedroom and go to the fridge. This from Webster's new and unabridged dictionary: woman: a life support system for a pussy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Throatrake Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 What does a cell phone and anal bleach have in common? They both can change your ringtone. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkforgirls Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 I am 30 years old but still have the body of a teenaged girl. She's in the trunk of my car. KIDDING! I'm not 30 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Latvian man come home, find wife and son taken to gulag. "More potato for me" thinks man, but potato have worm. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted September 6, 2016 Share Posted September 6, 2016 My wife did something last night with her mouth that all husbands love Spoiler She Shut It 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 A chinese guy in the supermarket didn't know how to say "chicken" so he grabbed an egg and went to the cashier and asked where "mother?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cantona Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Apparently Kurt Cobain had dandruff. They found his head and shoulders everywhere. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 On October 8, 2016 at 11:44 PM, AslatIE said: Apparently Kurt Cobain had dandruff. They found his head and shoulders everywhere. Haha thats a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john lennon Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 On 2016-04-21 at 9:17 PM, PappyTron said: Q: How do you say "genius" in Norwegian? A: Turist. Late to the party, but as a swede, I gotta say John Lennon approves! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 Rod Stewart is at the supermarket, standing in the queue at the checkouts, spies a fit girl working the checkouts, when it comes his turn shes scanning his stuff and she goes: 'are you single by any chance?' 'oh, why do you ask, is it cuz I'm buying all single serving stuff?' 'no, its cuz you're a fuckin' ugly cunt'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibson87 Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 Helen Keller ran into an old friend from school the other day. And a table. And a few chairs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibson87 Posted October 12, 2016 Share Posted October 12, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Fitha_whiskey Posted October 13, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted October 13, 2016 A blond drops her dress off at the dry cleaners. As she's leaving, the lady behind the counter says "come again". The blond spins around and says "no, its toothpaste bitch!" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 (edited) Q: What's the German word for "virgin"? A: Gutenteit! Edited October 13, 2016 by PappyTron 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 A teenage boy to his father: "Father, I am not a virgin anymore." Father: "Wow that's great. Come, let's sit down and drink something to celebrate this moment." Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I really can't sit'' 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 I went to a resturant in Oklahoma and ordered the "fried cactus" but it's because I like pricks in my mouth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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