Towelie Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Couldn't find the last one.So sad to hear about the tragic death of Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina who, like her mother, was found unconscious in the bathtub having taken an overdose. Moral of the story? If you're a Houston, take a shower.US rockers Eagles of Death Metal have been dropped by their French label after poor sales of their last album.Too soon? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strange Broue Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Couldn't find the last one.So sad to hear about the tragic death of Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina who, like her mother, was found unconscious in the bathtub having taken an overdose. Moral of the story? If you're a Houston, take a shower.US rockers Eagles of Death Metal have been dropped by their French label after poor sales of their last album.Too soon?"The band stated that ticket holders from their November show at the Bataclan will be able to attend the Paris concert for free"They should write that anyone who has got a Bataclan ticket AND alive should go freeOMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axlslash Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit together in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No," so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cantona Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.What's the difference between a onion and a baby? Nobody cries when you chop the baby.How do you get a hundred babies in a bucket? You blend them.How do you get them out again? With chips.What is the worst part about killing a baby? Getting blood on your clown costume.And here's the most inappropriate joke that I can think of right now:What is a foot long and can make a woman scream? Stillbirth. Edited December 22, 2015 by AslatIE 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axlslash Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Graeme Posted December 22, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted December 22, 2015 What did the homeless man get for Christmas?Nothing. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake-Pit Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 What did the hooker say to the dog?Whatever I paid her to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit together in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No," so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.Thats a good one.What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.What's the difference between a onion and a baby? Nobody cries when you chop the baby.How do you get a hundred babies in a bucket? You blend them.How do you get them out again? With chips.What is the worst part about killing a baby? Getting blood on your clown costume.And here's the most inappropriate joke that I can think of right now:What is a foot long and can make a woman scream? Stillbirth.Thats some fucked up shit man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post axlslash Posted December 22, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted December 22, 2015 A man is walking down the beach when he sees an armless, legless girl crying in the sand. He walks over to her and asks her, "why are you crying?" She says, "in my whole entire life, I've never been kissed." The man takes pitty on her, bends over, and kisses her passionately.As the man walks away, he hears her crying, now twice as hard. He comes back and says "I just kissed you, why are you still crying?" The armless legless girl responds "in my whole entire life, I've never been fucked."The man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "well, you're fucked now!" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cantona Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Whats the diffrence between Jews and Boy scouts? Boy Scouts come back from campThat's horrible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classicrawker Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 What's the difference between pussy and parsley?Nobody eats parsley 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gordon Comstock Posted December 22, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) Political correctness has gone too far, you can't even say the phrase "black paint" anymore.Now you have to say "paint the fence, Jeremiah".What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school?I don't know, I just fly the drone. Edited December 23, 2015 by Gordon Comstock 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 (edited) So this birds at a bar, drunk, black geezer chats her up, buys her a few drinks, they skip off to hers, start going at it hammer and tongs, proper havin' it, so he's getting her clothes, they're all pressed up and she goes 'oh go on, do what you black bastards do best'...wakes up next morning and her tellys gone.Whats the difference between Gareth Gates and Harold Shipman?Neither of em can finish a sentence.Mans father dies on Christmas Eve, gets home to find his wifes left him and taken the kids, hes in bits right, goes up on the roof to commit suicide and who should be there but a man with a big white beard and a red suit. He goes listen son, I can grant you any wish, bring your kids and your old man back...so the fella goes how, how?!? He goes im santa claus and its christmas eve, jus wish for it. So he goes alright, i wish my wife and kids and old man came back...Santas like alright but you gotta do something for me, its been a long night granting wishes and i could do with a cocksuck...bloke goes 'you what?!?' Santa goes 'you want your family back or what?!?' So he goes alright, goes down on him, gives him a crackin' blowie til he spunks right in his mouth. He goes alright, now gimme my family back...as hes zipping up he takes the beard and hat off and goes 'bit old to believe in Santa Claus ain'tcha? I just moved in across the street, Merry Christmas'. Edited December 23, 2015 by Len B'stard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 (edited) Why do black people wear baggy trousers?Because their knee grows.What was Bin Ladens favourite dessert?Big Apple CrumbleWhat do you call a woman with no clit?Dont matter, she aint gonna come.Why do women have periods?Because they fuckin' deserve emWhy did the Romans build straight roads?So Pakis couldnt build no cornershopsHow'd you confuse an Irishman?Take him to a round room and tell him to piss in a corner.What was Harold Shipmans last meal?A curry, he was quite pleased with it though he said he could murder a naan.What has 24 unopened doors?Madeline McCanns advent calendar Edited December 23, 2015 by Len B'stard 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shades Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 black lives matterhttp://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2015/08/25/black-lives-matter-peggy-hubbard-lemon-intv-ctn.cnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon Comstock Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"?Black people don't have rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 What has 6 legs and a big black cunt?The A Team Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mansin Humanity Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 So one day Adam is hanging in the Garden of Eden and he runs into God. God starts telling him about this awesome new creature he's been working on. "Yeah, Adam, this thing is great. It'll tend to your every need, satisfy your every desire, cook, clean, you name it." Adam says "Wow, that sounds great. Do I have to give anything up?" "Unfortunately, I'm gonna need an arm and a leg," replies God. Adam considers..."What can I get for a rib?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 What do you do if you see a black guy with half a head?Stop laughing and reload. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Anonymous are now attacking ISIS.Ironic that now 72 virgins are attacking the terrorists! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 What has 6 legs and a big black cunt?The A Team8 legs you fucking plank! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 In a survey 9 out of 10 participants said they enjoyed gang rape. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 What has 6 legs and a big black cunt?The A Team8 legs you fucking plank! We had this conversation before haven't we petal? face, murdoch, hannibal, 2, 4, 6, thats six legs then BA's the big black cunt, his legs dont count cuz he's covered by the cunt aspect...you cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axlslash Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 So this birds at a bar, drunk, black geezer chats her up, buys her a few drinks, they skip off to hers, start going at it hammer and tongs, proper havin' it, so he's getting her clothes, they're all pressed up and she goes 'oh go on, do what you black bastards do best'...wakes up next morning and her tellys gone.Whats the difference between Gareth Gates and Harold Shipman?Neither of em can finish a sentence.Mans father dies on Christmas Eve, gets home to find his wifes left him and taken the kids, hes in bits right, goes up on the roof to commit suicide and who should be there but a man with a big white beard and a red suit. He goes listen son, I can grant you any wish, bring your kids and your old man back...so the fella goes how, how?!? He goes im santa claus and its christmas eve, jus wish for it. So he goes alright, i wish my wife and kids and old man came back...Santas like alright but you gotta do something for me, its been a long night granting wishes and i could do with a cocksuck...bloke goes 'you what?!?' Santa goes 'you want your family back or what?!?' So he goes alright, goes down on him, gives him a crackin' blowie til he spunks right in his mouth. He goes alright, now gimme my family back...as hes zipping up he takes the beard and hat off and goes 'bit old to believe in Santa Claus ain'tcha? I just moved in across the street, Merry Christmas'.Reading this post made me feel like Cooper in Eurotrip...(Skip to around the 0:26 mark) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 How dare you equate me to a fuckin' northerner! Thats actually pretty close to how McLeod speaks, God love his atheist soul. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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