spunko12345 Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Booked a lovely table for my missus and me for valentines day later. I just hope she doesn't mind racking the balls up and handing me the rest when i need it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Why don't orphans play baseball? They can't find home. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amir Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear a seat belt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Dog Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Słash Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 On 12/23/2015 at 3:43 AM, Amir said: How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's knob tastes funny. What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob? You know she'll swallow. I din't get this. Explain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amir Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 On 21 February 2016 at 4:56 PM, arnold layne said: What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society That was a belter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 (edited) Len B'stard is sitting in the pub having a few pints with a couple of his mates when an old drunken man bursts through the door and staggers up to the bar. Spotting Lenny, the old man walks over, points at him and bellows out "Oy, you! I fucked your mum last night. I fucked her for hours and she loved it!". Lenny ignores the man and continues to drink in peace. After a few minutes the man returns to the bar, orders another drink and on his way back to his table he points at Lenny for a second time: "Your mother sucked my cock last night! And she sucked my balls!" Again, Lenny just stares into his pint, ignoring the drunk. After another 20 minutes or so the man comes back to the bar for a third pint. This time, on the way back to his table he sticks his face barely inches away from Lenny and bellows, "I fucked your mother last night, she sucked my cock and she let me fuck her up the arse!" At this point, Lenny jumps up, bangs his hand on the table and says, "Go home dad, you're drunk again!" Edited February 23, 2016 by PappyTron 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 I beg your pardon, my Dad doesnt drink! the rampant heroin addiction means he cant keep a thing down y'see 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 How many blow jobs does it take to change a lightbulb? None. if you blowing me I don't give a fuck about lightbulbs. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 I know fuckin genius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amir Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amir Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 On 12 March 2016 at 11:51 AM, Amir said: Just 'eurgh, where'd you get that you filthy mare?!?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 34 minutes ago, Amir said: When the kid's parents said "You're ready to take on the world" that is not what they meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amir Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 10 minutes ago, PappyTron said: When the kid's parents said "You're ready to take on the world" that is not what they meant. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 35 minutes ago, Amir said: Am I the only person who has never played Punch-Out? It looks like fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spunko12345 Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 A man goes to the Dr and asks for birth control for his 13 year old daughter. "The Dr asks What for is she sexual active?" The man replies "No she just fucking lays there like her mother" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The barman looks at him and says "where did you get that?". The parrot replies "Africa; there's millions of the cunts!" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Rick Wakemans last song has been released, with the benefit of hindsight some believe it was a cry for ELP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Moon Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 I have an L shaped couch.. Well, i mean, its a lowercase L, but still an L! You're fucking welcome. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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