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Near Death Experiences


Dan H.

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So today a friend of mine found a brown recluse spider (the most dangerous spider in the States, along with the infamous black widow) in her van on her band equiptment, and it inspired us to discuss near death experiences. I thought the stories we shared were pretty interesting, and wanted to pool out and hear some experiences from forum members.

The closest I've come that I can remember was being attacked by a crocodile on a trip in Central America. Was terrifying seeing it charge out of the water in my peripherals. Motherfuckers are fast.

Probably have been a few close calls with my car, but none that immediately come to mind.

So has anyone here dodged a deadly experience?

Edited by Dan H.
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Nearly drowned off Ipanema beach in Rio in '13. Pretty surreal, been swimming since I was little, but I'd never been in a tide like that before I guess. Lifeguard had to come out and save me. Before he got there and I was being inundated by increasingly larger waves, I thought, "well, this is it." I was a little bummed, but I wasn't scared or anything, which, looking back, made me think that maybe I should be more scared of death.

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12 minutes ago, Johnny Drama said:

I've found huge spiders in my car before. Wouldn't go around saying "ZOMG ME ALMOST DED" though.

A friend of mine was actually bitten by a violin spider in Swaziland. The area on his hand swelled up like a balloon, turned brown/black and dripped pus; he had to travel back to South Africa (Swaziland is not a place you want to be ill in, if avoidable) where they basically split the wound open, sucked out all of the pus and then stitched it back up with a section left open for drainage, and put him on antibiotics.

Edited by PappyTron
Fixed a typo.
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i was bit by a recluse once, it ate a hole in my hip the size of a golf ball. i had to get injections at the hospital and had to put this stuff on it 3 times a day that looked and smelt like burnt motor oil, and then bandage it up. not a lot of fun.

i was once playing football in grade school, i was playing running back, i took off running a kid fell in front of me, so i jumped over him and when i did someone hit me from the side and spun me like a top and i ended up smashing my head off the pavement, everything went black and then i woke up very disoriented and sick. went to the hospital for a concussion.

second time came playing baseball in high school, i was pitcher, and when i threw the pitch i slipped a little on the grass, and the batter hit the ball and it me directly at the base of my head, knocking me out on my feet. my brother said i clenched my hands up and started snoring when i hit the ground. that led to concussion 2 and a good amount of memory loss.

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Back of a motorbike on a very scary bit of motorway interchange, rainy and windy, when a plastic bag got stuck to my dad's visor. It keeps slipping out of his glove when he tried to peel it off. I think had it stayed on for a few more seconds, we'd have been brown bread. 

I think that's the nearest we've come to death. Thankfully I've never been really ill. 

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When I was 19 I worked in a 24hr petrol station and one night pretty much just after I started a bloke came in with a shotgun and robbed it. I gave him about £130 that was in the till and about 10 packs of fags.

I was back there working on my own the next night cos I'm hard as fuck.

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I got attacked by a wild pigeon in London.

Was cautioned by a cop.

This kid wanted to rob my phone, said he was hiding a knife.

I used to the A&E department and Mayday Hospital.

I used to A&E department after it was renamed Croydon University Hospital because they didn't want to call it Mayday Hospital anymore.

I ate at Wendy's.

 

I'm kidding.

Edited by Snake-Pit
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11 hours ago, Johnny Drama said:

I've found huge spiders in my car before. Wouldn't go around saying "ZOMG ME ALMOST DED" though.

You live in Oz. Australians face death with a nonchalance which surprises the rest of the world. Your whole country is literally swimming with animals and hazards which could at any moment kill you.

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13 hours ago, Johnny Drama said:

I've found huge spiders in my car before. Wouldn't go around saying "ZOMG ME ALMOST DED" though.

She wasn't like that. Seeing the spider was just a jumping off point for the discussion because of the stigma surrounding the spider.

I don't think anyone in the US has died from a spider bite in decades.

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9 hours ago, spunko12345 said:

When I was 19 I worked in a 24hr petrol station and one night pretty much just after I started a bloke came in with a shotgun and robbed it. I gave him about £130 that was in the till and about 10 packs of fags.

I was back there working on my own the next night cos I'm hard as fuck.

Was it like this scene?

600px-Vlcsnap-241112.jpg

Kind of looks like Snake-Pit. :lol:

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5 minutes ago, Axl_morris said:

I was in a bomb disposal team in Afghanistan 2010. My job was to search for IEDs & booby traps that were designed not to be found. Lets just say, it was a very tense 7 months..

 

 

I would say you definitely win this contest for the closest near death experience mate......:o

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A few actually :lol:

I fucked my car off the road on, is it Junction 16 or 17, the one for Chorleywood off the M25, anyway I'm fucked my car off the road there taking a corner too fast, i don't really remember what happened but i flipped it and crushed it and tore down a shitload of railings, woke up actually on the fuckin' road going onto the motorway, can remember waking up thinking 'fuck, how did i get here?'  Stood up, not realising i was laying in a fuckload of glass, didn't hurt too either, for some reason, didn't realise i was actually resting my palms on glass as i was getting myself up off the floor, stood up, got off the road and thought 'i should probably call an ambulance', reached into my jeans pocket with the glassy hand and oh boy did that hurt...i left off a scream something like what would probably be heard from a Wall Street banker on his first trip to the prison shower room if the bastards ever got arrested.  Did all right though, had some stitches in my eyelid and broke the ring finger (shut up Pappy :lol:) on my right hand but apart from that alright.

Another time i got hit by a car crossing the road, like it mowed me down, right outside my school this was, the lady was actually my Mums best friends daughter, anyway she rammed right into me, i basically got off the school bus, crossed the road and then this girl called me from the other side of the road and i just kinda turned on reflex and ran back, not realising a motor was coming, anyway it crashed into my legs and sent the rest of me into the windscreen then i just kinda rolled off the bonnet and plopped onto the floor (shut up Pappy :lol:).  I remember waking up and just looking into the sky and these girls were crying and the headmistresses was going 'omg, his parents are gonna sue'.  I was more worried about the ten deck of B&H and bag of skunk in my schoolbag and where it'd go cuz the ambulance people cut it off me (these things concern you when you're 13 :lol:)  Was actually completely alright though, again, which is weird cuz they all thought i was dead, even told my parents before they got to the hospital to prepare for the worst cuz from what they'd seen i was pretty badly damaged, when my folks got there i was sitting up in bed reading an issue of Womans Own (it's all that was there in the hospital!) and Dad was like 'you fucking cunt, i thought you were dead!'.

In fact i think i even caused a near death experience, or an actual death :lol:  I know nothing about this particular story, i was just told it second hand so i can't verify any of this but apparently right, I'm a kid, 4 or 5, in Kashmir and there was some old lady there, 80 something or 70 something, was on her last knockings basically, sick and all that, and i was just a baby crawling around and she tried to like, play with me, pick me up, but being a proper old dragon and like...look at it from a kids point of view, this orange haired (they dye their hair with Henna) moustachioed lady with no teeth and a wrinkley face reaches out to you, i kinda reacted by cracking her over the head with a stool :lol:  Anyway it fucked her right up and everybody tripped like 'look what he's done, look what he's done!' and Mum, being a Mum, kinda scooped me up and went 'don't you blame him, it's not his fault, he's just a kid'.  Anyway, 6 days later she died :lol:  I don't think i was the cause of it or anything, as i say she was on her way out and i think it's just one of those things my old man told me to take the piss out of me 'you was always a bad 'un, you little granny killer!' :lol:

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18 minutes ago, PappyTron said:

You probably met a bunch of Lenny's family. :lol:

On some level, they're probably all my family :lol:. Which begs the question how many members of my family has Axl Morris fucked off with an M16...cuz Uncle Ahmeds been gone a while now...and he only went for a pint of milk and a copy of The Racing Post...that was 6 years ago :lol:

Edited by Len B'stard
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