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When a guy friend falls in love with you.......


Axl Roses Future Wife

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I was in a somewhat similar situation two years ago. A female friend of mine and I went out as friends when she came home from college over the Summer. We went out for ice cream and then to a park to just talk and catch up. Long story short, one thing came to another and we ended up kissing before the night was over.

Keep in mind that she had (and still has the same) boyfriend. It was already a sticky situation from the start.

Our talks became more and more flirtatious, and it was inevitable from that point - we ended up "getting together" a few times. In the end, she realized that she didn't want to / couldn't leave her boyfriend, so we never ended up together, and that just absolutely devastated me. I knew that we were both crazy about each other, but it just wasn't meant to be.

On the flip side of it, we're still close friends to this day. So, at least we can be adults about it and realize that we're at least a good fit for each other as friends.

Some of you who remember my meltdown on here from a few years back - this situation was basically the catalyst for back. My mind was messed up for a long time in the aftermath of it.

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I told him I won't have anything to do with him whatsoever unless he goes to get help. I can't have him around me and my daughter when he's unstable like that. I told him he's hurting himself and he needs to get help. Until he does I cannot have him around me and my baby.  He called afterwards and said he's going to be seeing a psychiatrist twice a week. I told him that was great and I'll be there for him over phone calls and messaging but I don't want him around my baby until he's made some progress in handling his rage and depression. 

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13 hours ago, Axl Roses Future Wife said:

Ummmm so I told him I wanted a break for a bit just so we could get a breather from all of this and he got really upset.  Scarily upset.  He won't leave me alone and won't stop making me feel bad about it all and putting the blame on me. He's even being suicidal.

He sounds quite manipulative.

Just know that none of this is your fault, he's the one that put an unrealistic expectation on you. He's also the one that continued the friendship and being around you, even though he knew his feelings were developing further and further.

It's good that he's going to seek professional help because he clearly has a lot of deep-seated issues to work out, and he can't rely on you to make them go away.

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Why don't you feel the same way?

 

Take one for the team, you said he's good lookin your friends want to fuck him. Guys been hanging out for 6 years.

Get with him for a night and he wont put you on that pedalstole.

P.s guys and girls cant really be good friends, the guy will always develop feelings or want sex. Girls can happily be friends with guys cause they just have more choice in sexual partners.

Edited by Axl_morris
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19 minutes ago, Axl_morris said:

Why don't you feel the same way?

 

Take one for the team, you said he's good lookin your friends want to fuck him. Guys been hanging out for 6 years.

Get with him for a night and he wont put you on that pedalstole.

P.s guys and girls cant really be good friends, the guy will always develop feelings or want sex. Girls can happily be friends with guys cause they just have more choice in sexual partners.

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i missed the post where you said he was good looking. i figured he was a rather funny looking chap.

if hes good looking then what is the issue? yall are good friends, he seems to want more from you than to get laid, and yall are both batshit crazy

sounds like a good, although possible dangerous, match if you ask me 

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Seriously, if a guy is going to off himself just because a girl turned him down, maybe he should consider some other options? Suicide or any self harm is a little extreme. Harming others is also extreme. Psychiatric help is a good option if he has a lot of money or good insurance. 

 

If he continues to be a dumb cunt, then move on. Nothing much else you can do.

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1 minute ago, -W.A.R- said:

i missed the post where you said he was good looking. i figured he was a rather funny looking chap.

if hes good looking then what is the issue? yall are good friends, he seems to want more from you than to get laid, and yall are both batshit crazy

sounds like a good, although possible dangerous, match if you ask me 

just because a guy is good looking and you are friends with him doesnt mean you should just jump to a relationship with him ,because you are alone.

i can understand the idea of "give it a chance"because yes sometimes people in the same situation try it and end up falling in love.

actually for me the best love stories start as a strong friendship. Still is not a good idea to start something with the guy ,when he already has all these feelings about you ,and you cant be sure if you will be able to feel the same,if you two start sometjing. That story can turn into a real mess. If he alteady tries to make you feel guilty ,for something you cant control that is your feelings....imagine after you starting an actual thing that ended up not like he planned

if you decide to give it a chance,ok do it ,but for real. Not just to pass time ,to fiel a void. Open that heart...carefully but for real . To me thats the only way thats worth it

Edited by love&hates
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41 minutes ago, Georgy Zhukov said:

Seriously, if a guy is going to off himself just because a girl turned him down, maybe he should consider some other options? Suicide or any self harm is a little extreme. Harming others is also extreme. Psychiatric help is a good option if he has a lot of money or good insurance. 

 

If he continues to be a dumb cunt, then move on. Nothing much else you can do.

If he continues to be a dumb cunt, then its better to be away from him.

No doubt he needs help, my advice to him would be just move on in life.

There are many fishes in the sea. 

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27 minutes ago, love&hates said:

just because a guy is good looking and you are friends with him doesnt mean you should just jump to a relationship with him ,because you are alone.

oh im not trying to push her into a relationship

im sure she has her reasons for not. im just curious what they are.

although him acting crazy right now sure doesn't help lol.

Edited by -W.A.R-
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1 minute ago, -W.A.R- said:

oh im not trying to push her into a relationship

im sure she has her reasons for not...im just curious what they are

I guess she just see's him as a friend? Sometimes you can't force to love someone. 

She has a daughter and maybe she can't see him like a good father to her daughter?

I dont know lol

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Just now, Slash787 said:

I guess she just see's him as a friend? Sometimes you can't force to love someone. 

that was what i was trying to say in the first sentences of my post. And yeah i guess thats probably the answer to your question W.A.R

sometimes you have the Best person at your side willing to do anything for you,but your heart doesnt want to go that way...for whatever reason. Tricky

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