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Funny Axl quotes /rants from this year


Son Of A Gun

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There seems to be lots of anger now on this forum so let's cool things down with something funny.... List all the funny things you know that Axl has said or done this year at the concerts. I 'll start a few obvious ones.

5/14 November Rain grand finale: "And to my right our newest. . . . . .I guess he quit already." (Introducing Bumblefoot)

Rock Am Ring 06/02Patience: "Wait wait wait what's he singing?"

Rock Am Ring 06/02 Patience: "You metal god you. You metal godless you, Godless man....GODLESS MAN YOU!!!"

San Francisco 9/21 Sweet Child O' Mine: "If you think you're a bigger asshole than me then you've got a lot to learn (points to himself)...King Dick!!!"

Puerto Rico 10/29: "The thetlitht it'th not the thame thetlitht"

Edited by Son Of A Gun
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"..So you can bite me", in many shows atleast on the Euro-tour after the Sweden-incident.

"You jump like motherfuckin' kengurus, it's just bang, bang backstage" (That's not word-to-word but you get the picture, he jumped up and down a few times while saying that.) -Axl Rose (Helsinki 6.7)

"I'm not looking for Swedes with good taste, I'm looking for Swedes that taste good." (Again, not word-to-word) -Axl Rose (Helsinki 5.7)

"And what the fuck is that.." (Introducing Madagascar) -Axl Rose (Helsinki 5.7)

Edited by Wando
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''You know where you arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre?.............You in the Sauna baby'' (Due to extreme heatwave) - Birmingham NEC, UK 25.07.06

''Hey Hey Hey, Hey Security slow the fuck down. Stop Stop Stop, What the fucks wrong with you guys down here, You're security guys, you guys are outta control. What the guy was having some fun so you gotta beat him up? These guys gotta go, they're outta here'' (Security guys get kicked out) - Birmingham NEC, UK 25.07.06

Edited by SteveVai
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"Axl, fuck you, you fuckin asshole!!"... and Axl answered.." So as you, you pink asshole.. and laughed

again, and said afterwards " its kinda universal language for fuck off.""

"If some of you were really, really bad" - waving his finger like "ah ah ah, bad crowd" , "you might have

already heard this one thanks to the Internet. Yeah, good old Internet".

And I heard smth like this just before November Rain Axl's piano intro solo:

"Tommy's always happy when I figure out which fucking key is that"

...durin' knockin' on heavens door..the crowd surprised uncle axl by not stoppin' to sing the chorus KOHD..he

looked a little bit surprised...(.."u sing one - i sing one...)...but listened to the crowd a few times..just

with his yeah yeah yeah between it..enjoyed it...and than after a while..."but now it's my turn...OK??"..(..big smile..)

"i wanna introduce a special friend of mine....mr. sebastian bach.."..he went on stage...

.."well since we can say we already used the HAPPY BIRTHDAY song yesterday..from this time on now...

(comment by me: it was after midnight)...it seems like we have to sing it again..it's dizzy reeds birthday

..."...all of us sang the birthday song again...."well does anyone have a cake for him"...sebastian replied..

"no give him a cheeseburger"...w. axl laughed very loud and repeated.."yeah give him a cheeseburger"...

dizzy enjoyed the whole singin' and stuff..

..paradise city was fuckin' amazin' again..crowd went crazy..and w. axl rose took his microphone and used it

a few seconds like a walkin' stick...pretendin' he is fuckin' old...walked slowly on his knees with it...

was really funny..

.we could clearly see the moon durin' the gig...and w. axl said once.."hell we are playin' under the same moon

again..i think the same moon...like in milan or somewhere...."....

When Baz stormed on stage, Axl said: "Whattup biatch?!". Then he asked Baz about something backstage.

"Dude, did you see that backstage?". Baz replied: "I don't have a backstage!"

Axl said he invented a new drink the night before, a mixture of Vodka and Champagne and he called it "Vampagne. It's pain".

axl said during patience "did someone think i played in poison?" after some one threw a poison shirt on stage

And just when Axl started playing the intro, but he started laughing. So he stopped and told the crowd why

he was laughing: "Someone in the crowd was shouting: Axl, you're the king. Then some other guy shouted:

And the queen". Hahahaha. Axl was laughing and having fun.

"There are two kinds of people in this world -- those that like me, and those that can go to hell." - Axl Rose

Axl before Patience: "this song is a good song to sing when you're in jail after being arrested by a cop"

And he said and "even tough I wanted to go to the nice neighboor country(Norway), sweden wouldent let me go,

they wanted to keep me"

He said, "im official and AWA now........an asshole with attitude"

in the middle of November Rain Axl said "This is a really long song...those lighters get really fucking hot don't they?"

Axl joked about Swedish police and sang "so you can bite me" in Out Ta Get Me.

Oh, there was one fuckhead waving a Slash t-shirt in the front and Axl commented on that with "You're a fucking idiot,

you know that"?

after think about you, the crwod was chanting "izzy,izzy". and axl goes:"calm down" then he went on:

"that's what the swedish police said to me the other day: calm down. and then they said "you will get arrested".

and i answered: "you're a fucking asshole".

But Axl wasn't very talkative, only a couple of talks with the crowd. "So there I was...", he started and told

the Sweden story. "There was six cops with leather gloves on holding me down, and Dr. Hack-a-lot tried to push

me with a needle and he kept missing. There was blood everywhere, and I thought he was a fucking idiot.

Then I told him, 'You're a fucking idiot.' And while I laid there, being hold down by these six cops,

I noticed a girl holding the door open. She was hot, so I kind of just laid there and watched her..."

I laughed so hard when he said: "Thank you! Good night!" after Heaven's Door. Everybody was like WTF? He waited

a few seconds, he laughed and said: "Just kidding! Don't worry! We're gonna be here a while." or something.

And they did stay for like 2hrs.25min.

He told a story about Paul McCartney, he said that Paul’s kids told Paul that it was awesome that he

covered a Guns n' Roses song. :laugh:

Axl welcomed back Brain.. he said "Brain took a leave of absence to tend to his new born child...

they named it Axl"

Another funny thing he said, pointing at some dude with a camera phone, "That will be on the net in the

next 15 minutes..... what?? You didn't like that joke??"

Someone threw something on stage, Axl leaned down and asked the guy something, then he said "We have an

enemy combatant here, you are a bad boy for throwing things, shame on you"

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some of axl's comments from Edmonton

as stolen from HTGTH (i am forgetting which user I copied this from)

Some Axl comments:

1) Thanks the crowd for the mild Edmonton weather.

2) Talked to the owner of the Arena who made Axl and honorary Oiler (NHL hockey team). Axl says the crowd has so much energy that he is glad that nothing happens to make him cancel the show because he doesn't think this crowd would "disassemble peacefully" and not that anything like that has ever happened before, poking fun at himself.

3) Makes a comment about the "botanical" aroma coming from the crowd! peace

4) Says he made a mistake inviting Baz on the bus with him after the Calgary show because Axl says he (Axl) is hurting bad!!

for the first quote he said he read (i am assuming a forum) that someone said that Axl is going to Edmonton... and our weather is noted for being considerably cold (it was -33 the days before the show but the day of the concert we had a high of +5)

for the second quote he mentioned something about us tearing the place down brick by brick.

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Ha ha ha,keep them coming guys! <_<

Well, I remember one from the concert in Madrid on May 25.( Not exact words but more or less):

..."I´m the boss tonight...and my name is El Matador "

And in El Ejido,Almeria (Spain) on July 15 he joked and said something like:

..."Hey,do you want this to keep going?",the crowd was like :unsure: because most of them didn´t speak English and they said SI!!!(yes in spanish) and then Axl said something like: "No?,OK good night"and laughed and turned back and the audience shouted Nooo!!!. Ha ha,it was cool, I was there :)

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London, Hammersmith "Theres a sign out there that says 'Axl, fuck me then marry me'... Gay marraige is legal here right? Hmm haha"

After Better "That's was of our last album" *Axl cheeky smile, brain doing a one liner dum beat*... Lets stick with the them of newness.... Newness and nudeness and trying to stay in tuneness"

London wembley "Everyone shout 'Cheer up Tommy'.... Okay, okay how about 'Cheer up mother fucker' "

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Manchester (i think..)

"Richard hasn't been asleep for about two days 'cause he's been workin on a song...and i haven't been asleep because i was working on erm....well i don't remember what her name was...so...bt i was working hard, ok..you can trust me..you can trust me...i gave it my..my all"

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This is a new song, or old song, i dont know anymore *laughs* - Before Madagascar.

Sorry, i guess i got carried away - After starting to early in The Blues.

Sowin all your porno - My Michelle mixed up lyrics.

Two more times tonite - Nightrain in place of One more time tonite.

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I don´t remember which concert it was nor the exact words either but when Axl introduced BBF or Robin(don´t remember), before playing the solo he said something like:

..."Don´t play too loud, the people on the seats are trying to sleep" :laugh:

That was this year's Toronto show. I remeber that because I started laughing pretty hard.

I believe he said "Don't play too loud those people on they left are trying to sleep"

And it was Bumbles he did his regular intro solo a Hendrix O' Canada, and the Don't Cry solo.

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He has the best sense of humour. :lol:

But Axl wasn't very talkative, only a couple of talks with the crowd. "So there I was...", he started and told

the Sweden story. "There was six cops with leather gloves on holding me down, and Dr. Hack-a-lot tried to push

me with a needle and he kept missing. There was blood everywhere, and I thought he was a fucking idiot.

Then I told him, 'You're a fucking idiot.' And while I laid there, being hold down by these six cops,

I noticed a girl holding the door open. She was hot, so I kind of just laid there and watched her..."

^ Woah is that true? Were they trying to give him a tranquilizer or something? :o

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He has the best sense of humour. :lol:
But Axl wasn't very talkative, only a couple of talks with the crowd. "So there I was...", he started and told

the Sweden story. "There was six cops with leather gloves on holding me down, and Dr. Hack-a-lot tried to push

me with a needle and he kept missing. There was blood everywhere, and I thought he was a fucking idiot.

Then I told him, 'You're a fucking idiot.' And while I laid there, being hold down by these six cops,

I noticed a girl holding the door open. She was hot, so I kind of just laid there and watched her..."

^ Woah is that true? Were they trying to give him a tranquilizer or something? :o

Since that incident ould mess upp the Norway concert I watched eveything happening at the time, in Norwegian and Swedish news sites.

But I never head about any tranquilizer stuff

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