The 'Bon Jovi can suck my dick' line has already been mentioned but that whole story is filled with gold. Been a while since I've heard it but other bits of the story that made me laugh were:
'I wasn't even fighting and it took five fucking assholes to hold me down'
'These same five guys, holding ice packs on their head...'
Police officer is being a dick 'so to distract him I told him to fuck off.'
All expertly delivered around a blues jam 😂
Another one I love from back in the day is the gig where Axl is seriously pissed off as a parking attendant didn't believe he was the singer and nearly made him miss the gig. Axl changes the lyrics to ISE to refer to the parking attendant before screaming the most passionate 'fuck off' I've ever seen. Later in the gig he gives some more details about what happened.