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Sick Fuck: This Dog Is Way Too Happy About Smelling Cancer

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Here’s a story about an absolutely disgusting animal that will make you furious: This dog can smell cancer, and he gets really, really happy when he does.

Jesus. What a fucking psychopath.

Duke, a 3-year-old red fox labrador, has been working with Medical Detection Dogs—a British organization that trains canines to sniff out cancer in National Health Service patients—ever since he was a puppy, and his incredible nose can detect cancer with over 95 percent accuracy. But though his snout may be more reliable at cancer detection than many lab tests, Duke has repeatedly proven to be an appallingly insensitive asshole, becoming hysterically happy any time his snout catches even the slightest whiff of a volatile cancer compound. The second his nose picks up on terminal illness in a patient, Duke instantly begins howling with unbridled ecstasy and gleefully hopping around in circles, celebrating so raucously that you’d think he’d won the goddamn Super Bowl.

There are few responsibilities in this life more sobering than having to inform someone they have cancer, yet Duke wags his tail so hard when he delivers his diagnoses that it could very well fly off his ass and break a window. While some might argue that his bedside manner could be improved with training, it’s honestly hard to imagine how you could possibly redeem a dog whose immediate reaction to detecting cancer is to gleefully jump up and start frenziedly humping the leg of a sobbing patient while they’re still struggling to process the devastating news.

Simply put, Duke is a cruel, pitiless monster who is rotten to his very core and indifferent to the suffering of man, and if his cancer-detecting abilities didn’t have such extraordinary medical value, then this cold-blooded pooch would be a prime candidate for the Old Yeller special. Fuck this piece-of-shit dog.

Source: https://www.clickhole.com/sick-fuck-this-dog-is-way-too-happy-about-smelling-can-1831148814
 

Edited by SoulMonster
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No, the dog doesn't know cancer is a killer.  No more than it knows drugs are bad for people.  Doing what it's trained to do and proud it has done what the human has asked it to do. 

The cadaver dogs do know your dead and it depresses them.  People make the dog do that.

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lol, Bear.  Big, white fluffy dog was surrendered at the shelter today.  Friendly but that lost, depressed look to him.  One of the volunteers is a groomer so we sent him right off to grooming while they checked him in.  He came out of that room prancing.  The happy dog smile on his face.  Totally changed dog.  By the time I finished up, went up to check out at the front desk, tell them Bear's story, his new owner was finishing up the adoption paperwork.  I don't think the dog ever got assigned a cage.  The new owner must have seen him prancing around the halls.  That happy dog smile gets them everytime.

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On ‎16‎.‎01‎.‎2019 at 8:58 PM, cineater said:

No, the dog doesn't know cancer is a killer.  No more than it knows drugs are bad for people.  Doing what it's trained to do and proud it has done what the human has asked it to do. 

The cadaver dogs do know your dead and it depresses them.  People make the dog do that.

It was satire.

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Oh boys why so serious?...it's your adoption anniversary this month! :heart:

Image may contain: cat and indoor

Image may contain: cat

and side note....all the pics are taken in the same spot because they are not allowed in my room when I'm at work, so as soon as I come home...on the bed they go for 

pretty much the entire evening haha! :lol:

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Cat advice please!

My cat has always had some weird stress around his water bowl. He arrived with this issue from the shelter. He spooks easy and needs the situation completely calm or he wont drink. His stress flared up last week. He's at times a bit dehydrated the last week, as indicated by his poop. So Ive had lots of experiments to get him more hydration. The good news is that I finally have him drinking more and he's always hydrated. However, since the watering issue was solved, I note that his butt smells more and I suspect he's not cleaning it enough. And I think he's avoiding cleaning it because his butt hurts from the under-hydrated poops he'd had last week?

I'd appreciate any and all input on this. The question I have in mind is His butts been a bit stinky for two days. It looks fine and his poop is back to normal. How long before he needs a check-up if its still stinky? 

Thanks in advance!

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13 hours ago, soon said:

Cat advice please!

My cat has always had some weird stress around his water bowl. He arrived with this issue from the shelter. He spooks easy and needs the situation completely calm or he wont drink. His stress flared up last week. He's at times a bit dehydrated the last week, as indicated by his poop. So Ive had lots of experiments to get him more hydration. The good news is that I finally have him drinking more and he's always hydrated. However, since the watering issue was solved, I note that his butt smells more and I suspect he's not cleaning it enough. And I think he's avoiding cleaning it because his butt hurts from the under-hydrated poops he'd had last week?

I'd appreciate any and all input on this. The question I have in mind is His butts been a bit stinky for two days. It looks fine and his poop is back to normal. How long before he needs a check-up if its still stinky? 

Thanks in advance!

When was his last check up? Maybe you can just call the vet and ask? My vets office is pretty good about answering generalized questions. Good luck!

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On January 31, 2019 at 11:52 PM, marlingrl03 said:

When was his last check up? Maybe you can just call the vet and ask? My vets office is pretty good about answering generalized questions. Good luck!

I had no idea that I could call and theyd be helpful for free! The receptionist called back five minutes later with the the Vets input. I wish my Vet was my Dr, lol! Thanks again.

And, this morning Beaker no longer has a stinky butt :headbang:

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5 hours ago, soon said:

I had no idea that I could call and theyd be helpful for free! The receptionist called back five minutes later with the the Vets input. I wish my Vet was my Dr, lol! Thanks again.

And, this morning Beaker no longer has a stinky butt :headbang:

That's awesome news! Yeah I have had to call the vet a few times myself and they have always been great about answering any questions. :)

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46 minutes ago, cineater said:

What was the cure?

The trick to my doctor's office is to call at 3.  They can't fit you in so they just call in an Rx.

Thats a great tip, gonna do that in the future :slash:

Their main input was that sometimes a young cat like mine stops cleaning due to pain during the hard poops and simply forgets to restart after its better! I said my goon might fall into that category, lol. So they asked if he ever goes from licking my hand to licking himself (which he does). And asked if he's open to be nestled up against (which he is). So they told me to try and getting him licking my hand, in a position where when he switches to himself it will be his belly - drawing him to the odour. And that while he licked his belly I could rub my head on him as if i were a cat cleaning him. Oh the things we do for these lovely fur balls :lol:

Long story short. It seems to have reminded him to recommence butt-cleaning!! I didnt see it happen so it might just be a coincidence, but he definitely cleaned it! Im happy that my vet has a holistic approach like this too!

Edited by soon
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I promise this is the last post about my cats watering issue! :) 

Ive added more watering bowls to places where he's calm and comfortable. On the windowsill I just moved a jar I use to water houseplants and replaced it with a bowl for him. And he drinks it up. But also, he uses the bowl as a pillow and has the deepest sleeps there now :lol:. The bowls small enough that he can rest his head on the rim, but his cheeks get soaked! :lol:

I tried to capture the pic of him sleeping but woke him in the process. You prolly cant tell but his left cheek is drenched and he dont care, he's in a daze :lol:

Pt36DL1h.jpg

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I have that same bowl and he looks pretty close to the cat I just lost.  He might just like fresh water.  I have one of those water fountains.  My cat loved it but his head was always wet because he forgot water was always flowing out of the top. :lol:  Great window for a cat.

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:lol: Sounds like a great cat! And good looking too! Glad to know my goof is in good company, with a face covered in water. Yeah, maybe my guy sees it like a water bed.

He's got a bunch of window space like that. This is valuable kitchen real estate that until November stored cookware and gadgets. It was not offered to him. I removed the cookware so I could temporarily set up my Nativity there. Turned around to pick up the Nativity and Beaker had already claimed the new space :facepalm: :lol:. Not only that, he can jump up himself (like he did to steal it), but he prefers to make me pick him up and place him there. And if my hand lingers for a quick pet he bites me! :lol:

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14 hours ago, janrichmond said:

@soon have you tried letting him drink from the tap? if he likes it then get him a fountain as @cineatersuggested , mine love running water

Oh, right. I get it now, thanks. Im a bit slow on the up take, I guess :facepalm::lol:

He does try and drink from my filters tap sometimes. I'll have to get a fountain. Thanks you two!

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Took Timon in because I thought he had a toothache.  The vet says his cancer is back.  He doesn't think he will make it until his next exam in July.  This is going on year 3, maybe the 4th, of Timon having cancer.  I still don't believe it and I know Timon doesn't.  He's back on meds.  I'm not telling the kid.

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