Alja Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 3 minutes ago, Tori72 said: A caretaker who believes in the responsibiity of a victim and tries to derail issues with all sorts of measures only to not get to the bottom of violence-related problems. I would'nt wish that to my worst enemy. I do give you the benefit of doubt though, maybe this is just all due to translation. You maybe just adapted killuridol`s strategy of making "Maybe" or "in some cases" absolute and only possibility. By the way I am still thinking that there must be some translate glitch in asying that there`s no possibility to be violent or abusive towards man and only woman is victim. I know cases where man is either sociopath unable to sympathy or some kind of pure asshole; but the thing which connects these violent abusive types is that they take themselves as the ones with no problem and no intention to do anything or change their behavior on their own. By the way they are usually violent towards anyone who is weaker or lower or anyhow defenseless (subordinated, service/retail people, children, animals...) In a in a general discussion about domestic violence, have you ever heard about false or blown up accuse in domestic violence in case of getting profit? Most people would side the woman with no doubt. I hate no-doubt attitude in any case and I will try to debunk it because it`s how my mind works since ever. Most probably you will make this also an absolute true, but if you meet many people with problems, you see that some of them are so got used to be victim that there is really nothing to do with it. They even involve whole community into their drama and drain energy and sources from everyone who decides to pour love and attention on that poor soul. It`s more comfortable for them to stay than to break the cycle. I had this in near family for approximately 20 years. You know, life is not black and white, that`s all. Life is ambiguous or greyish most of the time. 8 minutes ago, killuridols said: Maybe that's why she is caretaker and not a caregiver I`ll take care of people if needed; I just used Lumikki`s word and autocorrect liked it more, it`s that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenityScorp Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Off topic here Does Anyone in here have a case of "Facebook suspicious activity" N' "You have to upload photo of Yourself that show Your face clearly, dont worry We gonna erase the photo on database" Ive tried to log in My fb without have to upload the photo but I cant, So eventho I dont want to but I have to upload My photo N'now I can log in again, but now Im worried if its hacker trying to get My data Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 8 minutes ago, Alja said: You maybe just adapted killuridol`s strategy of making "Maybe" or "in some cases" absolute and only possibility. The domestic abuse towards women is a worldwide problem only stubborn arrogants like yourself want to deny and bring up exceptions or other types of violence just to piss all over it, for I don't know which fucked up reasons you may have to be against it. We have not talked here about the "abuse" of men because it simply does not outstand in statistics. If you are so inclined to defend this side of the story, then bring some quality studies to the table. Show your numbers and your research on the subject, instead of just posting your ignorant views on the matter. I really doubt you will come back with anything significant but I will give you the chance to fight for it. All I ask is that you do it with the seriousness it requires. Go ahead and show everybody in this thread that domestic abuse towards men is a problematic that is causing men to live like hostages at their own homes, that they have to wear make up to cover their bruises and most importantly, that men are being killed by their spouses more times than men being killed randomly by another man. 25 minutes ago, Alja said: In a in a general discussion about domestic violence, have you ever heard about false or blown up accuse in domestic violence in case of getting profit? Most people would side the woman with no doubt. I hate no-doubt attitude in any case and I will try to debunk it because it`s how my mind works since ever. This is blatant bullshit and a new pathetic attempt from the patriarchy to try to shut up the victims. Faking domestic violence is not that easy and a serious judge with experience in the subject will not buy stories that have no foundation. Hopefully, they will not be people like you or like those who think the victim is to blame for staying in the relationship. So far, from all the opinions posted about this topic, it has been pretty easy for me to detect who has serious background knowledge on the subject and who doesn't. You come across as one of those who just repeats like a parrot the gossip she's heard in the block. Pretty far from actual and real first hand knowledge or serious research done on the subject matter. 37 minutes ago, Alja said: I`ll take care of people if needed; I just used Lumikki`s word and autocorrect liked it more, it`s that simple. This is not an autocorrect problem. Both words exist but they have different meanings. I am pretty sure you are a caretaker and not a caregiver. One of those I wouldnt wish to my worst enemy, like @Tori72 said. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frey Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 (edited) 9 hours ago, Alja said: The red flag for me is that auction material everytime I see it, it just makes me to ask again and again: "Who is that person who is capable to put that much intimate stuff of someone alive to auction?!" Axl`s outburst-guilt circle is typical for violent persona. Saying that he never tend to behave violently is ridiculous. If I hear hoofbeats, I tend to look, if there`s any zebras when everyone assumes just horses. You know, statistically, in most of the world it will be horses. That`s it. Other thing is that it`s very difficult to make statistic of these problems. Even if something happens in less cases or is not immediately visible, does not mean that it does not exist or shouldn`t get awareness. Also abusive relationship can be much more complex than abusive man and victim woman. ... Why do you act like selling some old crap is a giant sin and the reasons behind it have to be malicious or mean-spirited?! Erin herself even said she didn't mean any harm by selling the old stuff off and that it was just part of her "letting go" process for her. Apart from that, we don't know the exact reasons for why she sold this stuff. Maybe she needed the money. Maybe she asked Axl if he wanted these things first and he didn't. Maybe she just wanted to get rid of all that stuff and didn't even bother to look too closely at it again before selling it off, therefore including some personal stuff she maybe should't have. Maybe it really was just a cathartic, healing thing for her, as she says. We don't know, but I do not see how any of this makes her a bad or abusive person, as you have implied in multiple posts now. Also, no offense Alja, but you're only digging yourself into a deeper hole with all your posts. As other posters have pointed out, all you do is derail and go off on tangents that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. I can barely even follow what you're trying to say anymore. @SerenityScorp Never had that problem, sorry. Edited May 2, 2017 by Frey 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BlueJean Baby Posted May 2, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2017 @Alja I am not sure what planet your information is coming from, but I find some of your comments disturbing, way off base and downright insulting to victims of DV, such as myself. 1. You referenced victims wanting attention...I decided to tell my story because of the comments being made, mostly by you, which are totally wrong. I thought maybe it would help people understand things from an insider point of view or maybe help someone else who may be going thru the same thing. I did not go into some really bad stuff I experienced because it is not something I can openly discuss for the whole world to possibly see. I don't want attention or sympathy because of what happened. 2. You said men abused women who are of lesser job status...give me a fuckin' break. While I was just starting my job, i was a purchasing manager for a trust set up by the US Bankruptcy court to pay out billions of dollars to women injured by a medical device...hardly a lower job status. That actually may have made me hide things more because I was well respected at work, and ashamed that I was being abused. He was a fuckin' construction worker. 3. I am not from a dysfunctional family, I was raised in an upper middle class home and my parents were married 69 years until my Dad died last year. They were very old fashioned and did not understand how to deal with things they did not relate to, so they refused to listen because they were too upset by the truth. My biggest issue may be that I was rather sheltered during my younger years and naive about things like this happening. So I had to learn the hard way. Now I have to live with my 87 year old mother to help take care of her because she is alone, even though she was not there when I needed help and she has the nerve to blame me for "letting" this happen to me. 4. You made a comment about victims lying about what they had been thru. Believe me, I have had to live with this shit for the past 27 years...no lies, embellishments here...just a horrible fuckin' reality that has not been easy to deal with. Just please stop making irrational, nonsensical comments about victims of DV...it is insulting and condescending. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 6 minutes ago, killuridols said: Sorry, tried to be as tactful as I could, I honestly felt like letting a rant go that would have made Axl cringe. ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tori72 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 15 minutes ago, BlueJean Baby said: Sorry, tried to be as tactful as I could, I honestly felt like letting a rant go that would have made Axl cringe. ? Rant away! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 28 minutes ago, BlueJean Baby said: Sorry, tried to be as tactful as I could, I honestly felt like letting a rant go that would have made Axl cringe. ? lol At least she didn't make you lose your humor... On the other hand, I am here still shaking my head and sniffing like a little child 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 In a new attempt to open the eyes of the blinded, here's another video everybody should carefully watch and listen. From the perspective of a man: "What about the boys who are profoundly affected in a negative way by what some adult man is doing against their mother, themselves, their sisters...? What about all those boys? What about those young men and boys who have been traumatized by an adult man's violence? You know what? The same system that produces men who abuse women, produces men who abuse other men. And if you wanna talk about male victims, let's talk about male victims! Most male victims of violence are the victims of other men's violence. So it is something that both men and women have in common, we are both victims of men's violence." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stella Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 6 hours ago, Frey said: Why do you act like selling some old crap is a giant sin and the reasons behind it have to be malicious or mean-spirited?! Erin herself even said she didn't mean any harm by selling the old stuff off and that it was just part of her "letting go" process for her. Apart from that, we don't know the exact reasons for why she sold this stuff. Maybe she needed the money. Maybe she asked Axl if he wanted these things first and he didn't. Maybe she just wanted to get rid of all that stuff and didn't even bother to look too closely at it again before seeling if off, therefore including some personal stuff she maybe should't have. Maybe it really was just a cathartic, healing thing for her, as she says. We don't know, but I do not see how any of this makes her a bad or abusive person, as you have implied in multiple posts now. Yes, the auction seemed to be finally letting go of it all - plenty of people do that with stuff belonging to an ex. If she can make some money from it to help support herself and her kids, why not do that instead of just throwing it all into the garbage, right? And yeah, for all we know the stuff was in some box in an attic and it was just all shoved off to the auction house. The only thing I thought should *not* have been included in the auction were the items pertaining to Axl's stepfather and siblings (the letter from the stepfather to all three kids that was very personal, and the childhood photos of the siblings). And that's simply because Axl's siblings are not celebrities, they're private citizens, and anything about their personal lives should have been left out. That particular letter from the stepfather should have been quietly discarded without being made public IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stella Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 18 hours ago, Blackstar said: I don't disagree with all this. Not blaming the victim is a general principle in regards to DV, as much as in regards to rape. However, even in this issue, it's not all black and white and each DV case is different (although there are common patterns in the ways perpetrators act - e.g. blaming the victim for "provoking" the abuse) and I was talking about two particular cases I happen to know about. Yes, in many DV cases (probably the vast majority of them) it's not a matter of strength and will for the reasons you presented. But when none of these obstacles (children, lack of resources and support, financial dependency, religious beliefs) is present, a question of choice and will might arise, especially if the monotonous answer after each DV incident is "yes, but I don't want to go to a psychologist - I love him and I can't live without him" (despite "if", this is not hypothetical). I think that even in those cases, though, you're dealing with someone who has been conditioned/programmed to think that everything is fine, and thus it isn't just black and white in terms of choice. There are things like Stockholm Syndrome that come into play, and they often have become convinced that what the abuser says about them - that they deserve it, that there's no reason to go on without the abuser, etc. - is the absolute truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
money honey Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 On 4/27/2017 at 9:19 PM, killuridols said: GN'R Official Facebook account posted this today: A month left! Who's going from here?? I know @Andy14, @Lumikki, @MillionsOfSpiders, @dgnr, @money honey, @giuls will......... What about @Carlycosmos?? I havent heard from her in ages!! You know it baby!! 25 DAYS!!!! I've been missing this thread the past two weeks or so. Life is crazy atm. Constant thoughts about Slane on May 27th are making it very difficult to concentrate on real life stuff!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenityScorp Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) 5 hours ago, killuridols said: In a new attempt to open the eyes of the blinded, here's another video everybody should carefully watch and listen. From the perspective of a man: "What about the boys who are profoundly affected in a negative way by what some adult man is doing against their mother, themselves, their sisters...? What about all those boys? What about those young men and boys who have been traumatized by an adult man's violence? You know what? The same system that produces men who abuse women, produces men who abuse other men. And if you wanna talk about male victims, let's talk about male victims! Most male victims of violence are the victims of other men's violence. So it is something that both men and women have in common, we are both victims of men's violence." Learning from Axl life story Can We stop talking about this since it sensitive topic Edited May 2, 2017 by SerenityScorp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 hour ago, SerenityScorp said: Can We stop talking about this since it sensitive topic Talking about it is healing and helping the victims to come out of their shells. Also helping the ignorant, the blinded and the indifferent to stop judging and understand where these things are coming from. This is not a sensitive topic anymore. It has to be discussed anytime everywhere. DV only thrives in silence. 3 hours ago, money honey said: You know it baby!! 25 DAYS!!!! I've been missing this thread the past two weeks or so. Life is crazy atm. Constant thoughts about Slane on May 27th are making it very difficult to concentrate on real life stuff!!! Haha, I know what that is like!! Im already thinking about my next show that has not been announced yet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
money honey Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 16 minutes ago, killuridols said: Im already thinking about my next show that has not been announced yet In Argentina? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenityScorp Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 15 minutes ago, killuridols said: Talking about it is healing and helping the victims to come out of their shells. Also helping the ignorant, the blinded and the indifferent to stop judging and understand where these things are coming from. This is not a sensitive topic anymore. It has to be discussed anytime everywhere. DV only thrives in silence. -Right, I understand 16 minutes ago, killuridols said: Haha, I know what that is like!! Im already thinking about my next show that has not been announced yet -You Girls are lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tori72 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 I tell you what, I forgot the date of the gig in munich. I'm such a bad fan! I know it's in June though. It is not like I wouldn't think about the gig every other day. I'm so into it, I'm just crap with dates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillionsOfSpiders Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 3 hours ago, money honey said: You know it baby!! 25 DAYS!!!! I've been missing this thread the past two weeks or so. Life is crazy atm. Constant thoughts about Slane on May 27th are making it very difficult to concentrate on real life stuff!!! Are you still planning to go to America for a show? I wish my shows weren't in London I'm not too excited about going there lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
money honey Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 3 minutes ago, MillionsOfSpiders said: Are you still planning to go to America for a show? I wish my shows weren't in London I'm not too excited about going there lol. YES! I booked for Buffalo, NY on August 16th!! Can't begin to describe how excited I am!! Is London so bad? Surely seeing GNR will make up for it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillionsOfSpiders Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) 7 minutes ago, money honey said: YES! I booked for Buffalo, NY on August 16th!! Can't begin to describe how excited I am!! Is London so bad? Surely seeing GNR will make up for it? Get in!!! That will be amazing! Yes, London is that bad for me lol I get a headache just thinking about it The people are so mean haha. Also we have to be so British and not mention the fact that the daily news of terrorism there is quite frightening to be honest. Edited May 2, 2017 by MillionsOfSpiders 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 9 minutes ago, money honey said: In Argentina? Yes and no. I'm sure they will come back but I don't want to see them here again because I'm feeling just like >> 6 minutes ago, MillionsOfSpiders said: I wish my shows weren't in London I'm not too excited about going there lol. lol same feelings and thoughts about Buenos Aires. But now I will have to work the triple so to be able to go abroad 13 minutes ago, SerenityScorp said: -You Girls are lucky Didn't they play near you at the beginning of 2017? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy14 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 10 minutes ago, Tori72 said: I tell you what, I forgot the date of the gig in munich. I'm such a bad fan! I know it's in June though. It's a day before my birthday . Which means they'll have time to come and play at my b-day party Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tori72 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 minute ago, Andy14 said: It's a day before my birthday . Which means they'll have time to come and play at my b-day party They'll party with you into your birthday then and just never leave. Make sure their instruments are around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
money honey Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 5 minutes ago, MillionsOfSpiders said: Get in!!! That will be amazing! Yes, London is that bad for me lol I get a headache just thinking about it The people are so mean haha. Also we have to be so British and not mention the fact that the daily news of terrorism there is quite frightening to be honest. I get it. Remember the numbers - London has 8 million people right? - chances of anything happening to you are still tiny despite how the news can make us feel. 4 minutes ago, killuridols said: Yes and no. I'm sure they will come back but I don't want to see them here again because I'm feeling just like >> lol same feelings and thoughts about Buenos Aires. But now I will have to work the triple so to be able to go abroad Didn't they play near you at the beginning of 2017? Right I hear you. I was crossing my fingers before the EU dates were announced that the Ireland one wouldn't be in Slane. It's a horror to get in and especially out of. Plus it's a fucking mini-festival which means four or five bands before main act, which means fans have to stand of hours before getting to see their band. BUT I'm not complaining - I missed my band in Slane in 1992 and never thought I would have a second chance... so I'm hugely grateful and pumped!! Bolded: that sucks. The things we do for our band. I've spent way too much money on them this year. I hope they appreciate it!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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