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GNR Women's Discussion - Part 2

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1 hour ago, SerenityScorp said:

Can We stop talking about this since it sensitive topic

Talking about it is healing and helping the victims to come out of their shells. Also helping the ignorant, the blinded and the indifferent to stop judging and understand where these things are coming from.

This is not a sensitive topic anymore. It has to be discussed anytime everywhere. DV only thrives in silence.

3 hours ago, money honey said:

You know it baby!! 25 DAYS!!!!

I've been missing this thread the past two weeks or so. Life is crazy atm. Constant thoughts about Slane on May 27th are making it very difficult to concentrate on real life stuff!!!

Haha, I know what that is like!!

Im already thinking about my next show that has not been announced yet :lol:

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16 minutes ago, killuridols said:

 

Im already thinking about my next show that has not been announced yet :lol:

In Argentina?

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15 minutes ago, killuridols said:

Talking about it is healing and helping the victims to come out of their shells. Also helping the ignorant, the blinded and the indifferent to stop judging and understand where these things are coming from.

This is not a sensitive topic anymore. It has to be discussed anytime everywhere. DV only thrives in silence.

-Right, I understand 

16 minutes ago, killuridols said:

 

Haha, I know what that is like!!

Im already thinking about my next show that has not been announced yet :lol:

 

-You Girls are lucky :max:

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I tell you what, I forgot the date of the gig in munich. I'm such a bad fan! :lol: I know it's in June though.

 

 

 

It is not like I wouldn't think about the gig every other day. :rofl-lol: I'm so into it, I'm just crap with dates.

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3 hours ago, money honey said:

You know it baby!! 25 DAYS!!!!

I've been missing this thread the past two weeks or so. Life is crazy atm. Constant thoughts about Slane on May 27th are making it very difficult to concentrate on real life stuff!!!

Are you still planning to go to America for a show? 

I wish my shows weren't in London :unsure: I'm not too excited about going there lol. 

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3 minutes ago, MillionsOfSpiders said:

Are you still planning to go to America for a show? 

I wish my shows weren't in London :unsure: I'm not too excited about going there lol. 

YES! I booked for Buffalo, NY on August 16th!! :headbang:

Can't begin to describe how excited I am!!

Is London so bad? Surely seeing GNR will make up for it?

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7 minutes ago, money honey said:

YES! I booked for Buffalo, NY on August 16th!! :headbang:

Can't begin to describe how excited I am!!

Is London so bad? Surely seeing GNR will make up for it?

:wow: Get in!!! That will be amazing! 

Yes, London is that bad for me lol I get a headache just thinking about it :lol: The people are so mean haha. 

Also we have to be so British and not mention the fact that the daily news of terrorism there is quite frightening to be honest. 

Edited by MillionsOfSpiders
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9 minutes ago, money honey said:

In Argentina?

Yes and no. I'm sure they will come back but I don't want to see them here again :lol: because I'm feeling just like >>

6 minutes ago, MillionsOfSpiders said:

I wish my shows weren't in London :unsure: I'm not too excited about going there lol. 

lol same feelings and thoughts about Buenos Aires. But now I will have to work the triple so to be able to go abroad :facepalm:

13 minutes ago, SerenityScorp said:

-You Girls are lucky :max:

Didn't they play near you at the beginning of 2017?

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10 minutes ago, Tori72 said:

I tell you what, I forgot the date of the gig in munich. I'm such a bad fan! :lol: I know it's in June though.

It's a day before my birthday :max:. Which means they'll have time to come and play at my b-day party :ph34r:

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1 minute ago, Andy14 said:

It's a day before my birthday :max:. Which means they'll have time to come and play at my b-day party :ph34r:

They'll party with you into your birthday then and just never leave. Make sure their instruments are around. :takethat:

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5 minutes ago, MillionsOfSpiders said:

:wow: Get in!!! That will be amazing! 

Yes, London is that bad for me lol I get a headache just thinking about it :lol: The people are so mean haha. 

Also we have to be so British and not mention the fact that the daily news of terrorism there is quite frightening to be honest. 

I get it. Remember the numbers - London has 8 million people right? - chances of anything happening to you are still tiny despite how the news can make us feel.

4 minutes ago, killuridols said:

Yes and no. I'm sure they will come back but I don't want to see them here again :lol: because I'm feeling just like >>

lol same feelings and thoughts about Buenos Aires. But now I will have to work the triple so to be able to go abroad :facepalm:

Didn't they play near you at the beginning of 2017?

Right I hear you. I was crossing my fingers before the EU dates were announced that the Ireland one wouldn't be in Slane. It's a horror to get in and especially out of. Plus it's a fucking mini-festival which means four or five bands before main act, which means fans have to stand of hours before getting to see their band. BUT I'm not complaining - I missed my band in Slane in 1992 and never thought I would have a second chance... so I'm hugely grateful and pumped!! :headbang:rock3

Bolded: that sucks. The things we do for our band. I've spent way too much money on them this year. I hope they appreciate it!! 

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6 minutes ago, money honey said:

I get it. Remember the numbers - London has 8 million people right? - chances of anything happening to you are still tiny despite how the news can make us feel.

I know, it doesn't stop from me going places like Paris and London, still it's there in the back of your mind, I think. 

London is just too much for me as it is, I wish they'd done a Scottish show I'd be really looking forward to that :) 

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Just now, MillionsOfSpiders said:

I know, it doesn't stop from me going places like Paris and London, still it's there in the back of your mind, I think. 

London is just too much for me as it is, I wish they'd done a Scottish show I'd be really looking forward to that :) 

I was in London recently and loooved it! But I guess this has to do with whether you like big cities in general or not. 

Also remember that all those news on terrorism, all those attack threads here and interrogated someone there is part of the fear inducing culture we're living in right now. Yes, there is terrorism, but the percentage of being hit (in Europe) is much smaller than in the 70ies or 80ies. I read and essay about it spiked with some real interesting statistics on security regarding attacks, terrorism etc. (I'm too lazy to look it up as I have no clue in what context I read it.)

 

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26 minutes ago, killuridols said:

Yes and no. I'm sure they will come back but I don't want to see them here again :lol: because I'm feeling just like >>

lol same feelings and thoughts about Buenos Aires. But now I will have to work the triple so to be able to go abroad :facepalm:

Didn't they play near you at the beginning of 2017?

Dont remind Me

Dont have money N' My passport run out:facepalm:

 

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there are so many forms of abuse...physical is not the only one.  There is no excuse for physical violence, but emotional abuse and neglect are just as harmful. Sometimes I don't know how I made it through the night.  My ex hurt me in ways that has made it too hard and painful for me to be in a relationship, 10 years on.  He never laid a hand on me. But here I am alone, not worthy.

Violence is never the answer but you can mess with someone without using fists. 

Sometimes people can be fucked in the head and behave badly even when they think they are a good person.  I have had bad behavior in the past because I haven't known how to behave or react when being hurt....I don't like it but I work on it and try to understand why I lash out and say mean things when I feel backed into a corner. I'm far from perfect and I wish I could always have a cool head but sometimes i'm just an asshole.  I don't want to be.  I can also be kind and overly compassionate and generous.  its when i'm hurting or confused that I lash out.  I hate that part of me but I hope I am not condemned forever for not having the skills to deal with pain sometimes.

like I said, there is no excuse for violence...I have never hit anyone in my life...but I am far from perfect.....especially in my naïve, passionate, foolish youth. Now I get how much words hurt. 

I've hurt and been hurt.  Never physically, but fuck I've felt pain.

My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence.  If you want to support it, support it for all....

It's easy to see it in others, harder to recognize it in yourself...anyone with the guts to want to get help needs support too.  

This post has nothing to do with gnr but seems to be the popular topic atm so it's just my 2 cents worth.

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6 minutes ago, Tori72 said:

I was in London recently and loooved it! But I guess this has to do with whether you like big cities in general or not. 

Also remember that all those news on terrorism, all those attack threads here and interrogated someone there is part of the fear inducing culture we're living in right now. Yes, there is terrorism, but the percentage of being hit (in Europe) is much smaller than in the 70ies or 80ies. I read and essay about it spiked with some real interesting statistics on security regarding attacks, terrorism etc. (I'm too lazy to look it up as I have no clue in what context I read it.)

 

I know what you mean, I don't want to turn this thread into the terror thread or anything :lol: Honestly though, you turn on the telly to see some nut job has just driven his car down tower bridge mowing people down on the pavement, forcing them to jump off into the river and I think maybe I won't go walking down tower bridge. It won't stop me going to London, I might just be thinking about random nutters though. 

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5 minutes ago, lucie said:

there are so many forms of abuse...physical is not the only one.  There is no excuse for physical violence, but emotional abuse and neglect are just as harmful. Sometimes I don't know how I made it through the night.  My ex hurt me in ways that has made it too hard and painful for me to be in a relationship, 10 years on.  He never laid a hand on me. But here I am alone, not worthy.

Violence is never the answer but you can mess with someone without using fists. 

Sometimes people can be fucked in the head and behave badly even when they think they are a good person.  I have had bad behavior in the past because I haven't known how to behave or react when being hurt....I don't like it but I work on it and try to understand why I lash out and say mean things when I feel backed into a corner. I'm far from perfect and I wish I could always have a cool head but sometimes i'm just an asshole.  I don't want to be.  I can also be kind and overly compassionate and generous.  its when i'm hurting or confused that I lash out.  I hate that part of me but I hope I am not condemned forever for not having the skills to deal with pain sometimes.

like I said, there is no excuse for violence...I have never hit anyone in my life...but I am far from perfect.....especially in my naïve, passionate, foolish youth. Now I get how much words hurt. 

I've hurt and been hurt.  Never physically, but fuck I've felt pain.

My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence.  If you want to support it, support it for all....

It's easy to see it in others, harder to recognize it in yourself...anyone with the guts to want to get help needs support too.  

This post has nothing to do with gnr but seems to be the popular topic atm so it's just my 2 cents worth.

Thank you for sharing your story. I know how hard it is. I went through both very violent physical and extreme mental abuse. 

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3 minutes ago, SerenityScorp said:

Arent those Men deserve it? 

well that's the whole point...if they cheated on me I might feel they deserved it....but violence is never ok.  I would hurt like hell and want to lash out...but if I did then how can I condemn someone else who has lashed out after feeling hurt?  There is no rule book that says it's ok to punch someone if they do this, or that....what if she cheated or he suspected she did?  He cant hit her...so neither can she.  Passion can bring out the worst hurt in us and we behave badly even if there is no excuse...especially if you mindlessly go ahead thinking your behavior is ok. If you try to get help then you should be supported....we are all imperfect and need help in different ways.

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12 minutes ago, Darkenchantress said:

No, sorry, is not the same. It is very different to slap a man in the heat of the moment (and I'm not saying is OK either) that has cheated on you, than  to abuse, verbally or physically a woman just cause you think you have the right to. Women are in a position of disadvantage in the society as long as the fucking heteropatriarchy remains and the majority of the causes behind domestic violence are not women cheating or doing something wrong to disappoint their husbands, is just a man thinking his wife/gf is a lesser individual that belongs to him.

so its ok if he slapped her in the heat of the moment? she can probably abuse him verbally as well then. Why should a man be expected to be in total control of his emotional / physical response but a woman isn't held to that same standard?  I don't think it's ok either way.  But I also understand that good people fuck up and might need help so they can deal with emotional pain in a better way than punching someone in the face.  Let's hope anyone struggling with impulse control can find they help they need, man or woman.

"BTW, I'm sorry to read your story as well as others like @BlueJean Baby 's, sorry you had to go through that, I perfectly know how it feels too. "  <  and thank you xx

Edited by lucie

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4 minutes ago, Darkenchantress said:

No, sorry, is not the same. It is very different to slap a man in the heat of the moment (and I'm not saying is OK either) that has cheated on you, than  to abuse, verbally or physically a woman just cause you think you have the right to. Women are in a position of disadvantage in the society as long as the fucking heteropatriarchy remains and the majority of the causes behind domestic violence are not women cheating or doing something wrong to disappoint their husbands, is just a man thinking his wife/gf is a lesser individual that belongs to him.

Very true. Mine turned violent when I was pregnant with our son. He was always extremely jealous, but I have never cheated on anyone in my life, he never had a reason to be that way except in his twisted mind. Somewhere in his head he became jealous of me giving attention to our child. I have this image of him flipping my son's walker, with him in it, over on the hardwood floor permanently etched in my brain. He was about 9 months old. He was screaming crying, and my ex started in on me and prevented me from tending to my possibly injured baby. 

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1 hour ago, money honey said:

Bolded: that sucks. The things we do for our band. I've spent way too much money on them this year. I hope they appreciate it!! 

Yes, Ive done over the top for my very lazy standards. I should get a reward :max:

I'm not discarding the chances of seeing them here again. It is just my wish to do something different. Omg im already stressing, lol :facepalm:

39 minutes ago, lucie said:

My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence.  If you want to support it, support it for all....

It is domestic violence but it is mostly an exception. How many battered men do you know?

Violence is wrong for everyone. Reacting violently to any argument doesn't do good to men, to women, to children and to elders.

No one here has supported violence against men, so I really don't know why out of nowhere you come up with this stuff.

Please refrain from trolling this thread because we will not tolerate it.

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9 minutes ago, killuridols said:

Yes, Ive done over the top for my very lazy standards. I should get a reward :max:

I'm not discarding the chances of seeing them here again. It is just my wish to do something different. Omg im already stressing, lol :facepalm:

It is domestic violence but it is mostly an exception. How many battered men do you know?

Violence is wrong for everyone. Reacting violently to any argument doesn't do good to men, to women, to children and to elders.

No one here has supported violence against men, so I really don't know why out of nowhere you come up with this stuff.

Please refrain from trolling this thread because we will not tolerate it.

how is commenting on a public forum and sticking to the current topic trolling?

didn't you like a post that suggested it is ok to slap a man if he cheated?  Its not ok to be violent against anyone which was my point, apparently you missed it.

 

in fact the post of mine that you quoted said it plain and simple...its not ok to hit someone no matter how you feel you have been wronged!!!

 

Edited by lucie
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1 minute ago, lucie said:

how is commenting on a public forum and sticking to the current topic trolling?

didn't you like a post that suggested it is ok to slap a man if he cheated?  Its not ok to be violent against anyone which was my point, apparently you missed it.

I see a like of yours there too so what does that mean?

I liked the post in general but I don't agree with the part of slapping the man because he cheated on her or for whatever reasons. In my opinion, those things and others that are not physical, also contribute to the growing violence inside a couple.

I didn't miss any point of yours because you have made no points at all. Like I said before, nowhere in this thread we have said it is ok to be female and beat a man just because we are females or because they cheat or do things we don't like.

We don't deny that there may be women who react violently to domestic situations or emotionally manipulate, abuse and mistreat their partners. It goes both ways and it is wrong in ALL cases. If you are not an unhealthy person, you will deal with it like most people do. Just call it quits and move on.

However, most men who are in a toxic relationship usually are able to walk out of it faster and without long-lasting consequences. Men have a lot more resources than women to deal with the ending of a violent or emotionally abusive relationship: from economic solvency, social support and usually not having the custody of children, to physical strength that would reduce almost any attack immediately. 

 

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5 minutes ago, killuridols said:

I see a like of yours there too so what does that mean?

I liked the post in general but I don't agree with the part of slapping the man because he cheated on her or for whatever reasons. In my opinion, those things and others that are not physical, also contribute to the growing violence inside a couple.

I didn't miss any point of yours because you have made no points at all. Like I said before, nowhere in this thread we have said it is ok to be female and beat a man just because we are females or because they cheat or do things we don't like.

We don't deny that there may be women who react violently to domestic situations or emotionally manipulate, abuse and mistreat their partners. It goes both ways and it is wrong in ALL cases. If you are not an unhealthy person, you will deal with it like most people do. Just call it quits and move on.

However, most men who are in a toxic relationship usually are able to walk out of it faster and without long-lasting consequences. Men have a lot more resources than women to deal with the ending of a violent or emotionally abusive relationship: from economic solvency, social support and usually not having the custody of children, to physical strength that would reduce almost any attack immediately. 

 

I liked the post because of the edit, the comment of support, as I pointed to in my following post.

if you agree that it is not ok for anyone to be violent, and that there are many forms of abuse then I have no idea why you took such offense to what I wrote. No point arguing over nothing.

 

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