MillionsOfSpiders Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 6 minutes ago, money honey said: I get it. Remember the numbers - London has 8 million people right? - chances of anything happening to you are still tiny despite how the news can make us feel. I know, it doesn't stop from me going places like Paris and London, still it's there in the back of your mind, I think. London is just too much for me as it is, I wish they'd done a Scottish show I'd be really looking forward to that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tori72 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Just now, MillionsOfSpiders said: I know, it doesn't stop from me going places like Paris and London, still it's there in the back of your mind, I think. London is just too much for me as it is, I wish they'd done a Scottish show I'd be really looking forward to that I was in London recently and loooved it! But I guess this has to do with whether you like big cities in general or not. Also remember that all those news on terrorism, all those attack threads here and interrogated someone there is part of the fear inducing culture we're living in right now. Yes, there is terrorism, but the percentage of being hit (in Europe) is much smaller than in the 70ies or 80ies. I read and essay about it spiked with some real interesting statistics on security regarding attacks, terrorism etc. (I'm too lazy to look it up as I have no clue in what context I read it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenityScorp Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 26 minutes ago, killuridols said: Yes and no. I'm sure they will come back but I don't want to see them here again because I'm feeling just like >> lol same feelings and thoughts about Buenos Aires. But now I will have to work the triple so to be able to go abroad Didn't they play near you at the beginning of 2017? Dont remind Me Dont have money N' My passport run out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucie Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 there are so many forms of abuse...physical is not the only one. There is no excuse for physical violence, but emotional abuse and neglect are just as harmful. Sometimes I don't know how I made it through the night. My ex hurt me in ways that has made it too hard and painful for me to be in a relationship, 10 years on. He never laid a hand on me. But here I am alone, not worthy. Violence is never the answer but you can mess with someone without using fists. Sometimes people can be fucked in the head and behave badly even when they think they are a good person. I have had bad behavior in the past because I haven't known how to behave or react when being hurt....I don't like it but I work on it and try to understand why I lash out and say mean things when I feel backed into a corner. I'm far from perfect and I wish I could always have a cool head but sometimes i'm just an asshole. I don't want to be. I can also be kind and overly compassionate and generous. its when i'm hurting or confused that I lash out. I hate that part of me but I hope I am not condemned forever for not having the skills to deal with pain sometimes. like I said, there is no excuse for violence...I have never hit anyone in my life...but I am far from perfect.....especially in my naïve, passionate, foolish youth. Now I get how much words hurt. I've hurt and been hurt. Never physically, but fuck I've felt pain. My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence. If you want to support it, support it for all.... It's easy to see it in others, harder to recognize it in yourself...anyone with the guts to want to get help needs support too. This post has nothing to do with gnr but seems to be the popular topic atm so it's just my 2 cents worth. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillionsOfSpiders Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 6 minutes ago, Tori72 said: I was in London recently and loooved it! But I guess this has to do with whether you like big cities in general or not. Also remember that all those news on terrorism, all those attack threads here and interrogated someone there is part of the fear inducing culture we're living in right now. Yes, there is terrorism, but the percentage of being hit (in Europe) is much smaller than in the 70ies or 80ies. I read and essay about it spiked with some real interesting statistics on security regarding attacks, terrorism etc. (I'm too lazy to look it up as I have no clue in what context I read it.) I know what you mean, I don't want to turn this thread into the terror thread or anything Honestly though, you turn on the telly to see some nut job has just driven his car down tower bridge mowing people down on the pavement, forcing them to jump off into the river and I think maybe I won't go walking down tower bridge. It won't stop me going to London, I might just be thinking about random nutters though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 5 minutes ago, lucie said: there are so many forms of abuse...physical is not the only one. There is no excuse for physical violence, but emotional abuse and neglect are just as harmful. Sometimes I don't know how I made it through the night. My ex hurt me in ways that has made it too hard and painful for me to be in a relationship, 10 years on. He never laid a hand on me. But here I am alone, not worthy. Violence is never the answer but you can mess with someone without using fists. Sometimes people can be fucked in the head and behave badly even when they think they are a good person. I have had bad behavior in the past because I haven't known how to behave or react when being hurt....I don't like it but I work on it and try to understand why I lash out and say mean things when I feel backed into a corner. I'm far from perfect and I wish I could always have a cool head but sometimes i'm just an asshole. I don't want to be. I can also be kind and overly compassionate and generous. its when i'm hurting or confused that I lash out. I hate that part of me but I hope I am not condemned forever for not having the skills to deal with pain sometimes. like I said, there is no excuse for violence...I have never hit anyone in my life...but I am far from perfect.....especially in my naïve, passionate, foolish youth. Now I get how much words hurt. I've hurt and been hurt. Never physically, but fuck I've felt pain. My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence. If you want to support it, support it for all.... It's easy to see it in others, harder to recognize it in yourself...anyone with the guts to want to get help needs support too. This post has nothing to do with gnr but seems to be the popular topic atm so it's just my 2 cents worth. Thank you for sharing your story. I know how hard it is. I went through both very violent physical and extreme mental abuse. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucie Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 3 minutes ago, SerenityScorp said: Arent those Men deserve it? well that's the whole point...if they cheated on me I might feel they deserved it....but violence is never ok. I would hurt like hell and want to lash out...but if I did then how can I condemn someone else who has lashed out after feeling hurt? There is no rule book that says it's ok to punch someone if they do this, or that....what if she cheated or he suspected she did? He cant hit her...so neither can she. Passion can bring out the worst hurt in us and we behave badly even if there is no excuse...especially if you mindlessly go ahead thinking your behavior is ok. If you try to get help then you should be supported....we are all imperfect and need help in different ways. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Darkenchantress Posted May 2, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) 32 minutes ago, lucie said: My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence. If you want to support it, support it for all.... No, sorry, is not the same. It is very different to slap a man in the heat of the moment (and I'm not saying is OK either) that has cheated on you, than to abuse, verbally or physically a woman just cause you think you have the right to. Women are in a position of disadvantage in the society as long as the fucking heteropatriarchy remains and the majority of the causes behind domestic violence are not women cheating or doing something wrong to disappoint their husbands, is just a man thinking his wife/gf is a lesser individual that belongs to him. BTW, I'm sorry to read your story as well as others like @BlueJean Baby 's, sorry you had to go through that, I perfectly know how it feels too. Edited May 2, 2017 by Darkenchantress 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucie Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Darkenchantress said: No, sorry, is not the same. It is very different to slap a man in the heat of the moment (and I'm not saying is OK either) that has cheated on you, than to abuse, verbally or physically a woman just cause you think you have the right to. Women are in a position of disadvantage in the society as long as the fucking heteropatriarchy remains and the majority of the causes behind domestic violence are not women cheating or doing something wrong to disappoint their husbands, is just a man thinking his wife/gf is a lesser individual that belongs to him. so its ok if he slapped her in the heat of the moment? she can probably abuse him verbally as well then. Why should a man be expected to be in total control of his emotional / physical response but a woman isn't held to that same standard? I don't think it's ok either way. But I also understand that good people fuck up and might need help so they can deal with emotional pain in a better way than punching someone in the face. Let's hope anyone struggling with impulse control can find they help they need, man or woman. "BTW, I'm sorry to read your story as well as others like @BlueJean Baby 's, sorry you had to go through that, I perfectly know how it feels too. " < and thank you xx Edited May 2, 2017 by lucie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 4 minutes ago, Darkenchantress said: No, sorry, is not the same. It is very different to slap a man in the heat of the moment (and I'm not saying is OK either) that has cheated on you, than to abuse, verbally or physically a woman just cause you think you have the right to. Women are in a position of disadvantage in the society as long as the fucking heteropatriarchy remains and the majority of the causes behind domestic violence are not women cheating or doing something wrong to disappoint their husbands, is just a man thinking his wife/gf is a lesser individual that belongs to him. Very true. Mine turned violent when I was pregnant with our son. He was always extremely jealous, but I have never cheated on anyone in my life, he never had a reason to be that way except in his twisted mind. Somewhere in his head he became jealous of me giving attention to our child. I have this image of him flipping my son's walker, with him in it, over on the hardwood floor permanently etched in my brain. He was about 9 months old. He was screaming crying, and my ex started in on me and prevented me from tending to my possibly injured baby. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 hour ago, money honey said: Bolded: that sucks. The things we do for our band. I've spent way too much money on them this year. I hope they appreciate it!! Yes, Ive done over the top for my very lazy standards. I should get a reward I'm not discarding the chances of seeing them here again. It is just my wish to do something different. Omg im already stressing, lol 39 minutes ago, lucie said: My family member is way into stopping domestic violence against women....I have to remind her that she personally has punched 2 men in the face for cheating on her....isn't that domestic violence. If you want to support it, support it for all.... It is domestic violence but it is mostly an exception. How many battered men do you know? Violence is wrong for everyone. Reacting violently to any argument doesn't do good to men, to women, to children and to elders. No one here has supported violence against men, so I really don't know why out of nowhere you come up with this stuff. Please refrain from trolling this thread because we will not tolerate it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucie Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) 9 minutes ago, killuridols said: Yes, Ive done over the top for my very lazy standards. I should get a reward I'm not discarding the chances of seeing them here again. It is just my wish to do something different. Omg im already stressing, lol It is domestic violence but it is mostly an exception. How many battered men do you know? Violence is wrong for everyone. Reacting violently to any argument doesn't do good to men, to women, to children and to elders. No one here has supported violence against men, so I really don't know why out of nowhere you come up with this stuff. Please refrain from trolling this thread because we will not tolerate it. how is commenting on a public forum and sticking to the current topic trolling? didn't you like a post that suggested it is ok to slap a man if he cheated? Its not ok to be violent against anyone which was my point, apparently you missed it. in fact the post of mine that you quoted said it plain and simple...its not ok to hit someone no matter how you feel you have been wronged!!! Edited May 2, 2017 by lucie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 minute ago, lucie said: how is commenting on a public forum and sticking to the current topic trolling? didn't you like a post that suggested it is ok to slap a man if he cheated? Its not ok to be violent against anyone which was my point, apparently you missed it. I see a like of yours there too so what does that mean? I liked the post in general but I don't agree with the part of slapping the man because he cheated on her or for whatever reasons. In my opinion, those things and others that are not physical, also contribute to the growing violence inside a couple. I didn't miss any point of yours because you have made no points at all. Like I said before, nowhere in this thread we have said it is ok to be female and beat a man just because we are females or because they cheat or do things we don't like. We don't deny that there may be women who react violently to domestic situations or emotionally manipulate, abuse and mistreat their partners. It goes both ways and it is wrong in ALL cases. If you are not an unhealthy person, you will deal with it like most people do. Just call it quits and move on. However, most men who are in a toxic relationship usually are able to walk out of it faster and without long-lasting consequences. Men have a lot more resources than women to deal with the ending of a violent or emotionally abusive relationship: from economic solvency, social support and usually not having the custody of children, to physical strength that would reduce almost any attack immediately. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucie Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 5 minutes ago, killuridols said: I see a like of yours there too so what does that mean? I liked the post in general but I don't agree with the part of slapping the man because he cheated on her or for whatever reasons. In my opinion, those things and others that are not physical, also contribute to the growing violence inside a couple. I didn't miss any point of yours because you have made no points at all. Like I said before, nowhere in this thread we have said it is ok to be female and beat a man just because we are females or because they cheat or do things we don't like. We don't deny that there may be women who react violently to domestic situations or emotionally manipulate, abuse and mistreat their partners. It goes both ways and it is wrong in ALL cases. If you are not an unhealthy person, you will deal with it like most people do. Just call it quits and move on. However, most men who are in a toxic relationship usually are able to walk out of it faster and without long-lasting consequences. Men have a lot more resources than women to deal with the ending of a violent or emotionally abusive relationship: from economic solvency, social support and usually not having the custody of children, to physical strength that would reduce almost any attack immediately. I liked the post because of the edit, the comment of support, as I pointed to in my following post. if you agree that it is not ok for anyone to be violent, and that there are many forms of abuse then I have no idea why you took such offense to what I wrote. No point arguing over nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 32 minutes ago, killuridols said: I see a like of yours there too so what does that mean? I liked the post in general but I don't agree with the part of slapping the man because he cheated on her or for whatever reasons. In my opinion, those things and others that are not physical, also contribute to the growing violence inside a couple. I didn't miss any point of yours because you have made no points at all. Like I said before, nowhere in this thread we have said it is ok to be female and beat a man just because we are females or because they cheat or do things we don't like. We don't deny that there may be women who react violently to domestic situations or emotionally manipulate, abuse and mistreat their partners. It goes both ways and it is wrong in ALL cases. If you are not an unhealthy person, you will deal with it like most people do. Just call it quits and move on. However, most men who are in a toxic relationship usually are able to walk out of it faster and without long-lasting consequences. Men have a lot more resources than women to deal with the ending of a violent or emotionally abusive relationship: from economic solvency, social support and usually not having the custody of children, to physical strength that would reduce almost any attack immediately. Very true. While wrong, yes, a slap or punch from anyone in the heat of the moment, whether from frustration, emotional pain or inability to control one's anger at that point of time, it is way different from true DV. It is more of a violent outburst, not ongoing abuse. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillionsOfSpiders Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 2 hours ago, BlueJean Baby said: Very true. Mine turned violent when I was pregnant with our son. He was always extremely jealous, but I have never cheated on anyone in my life, he never had a reason to be that way except in his twisted mind. Somewhere in his head he became jealous of me giving attention to our child. I have this image of him flipping my son's walker, with him in it, over on the hardwood floor permanently etched in my brain. He was about 9 months old. He was screaming crying, and my ex started in on me and prevented me from tending to my possibly injured baby. Was he ok, your son? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 32 minutes ago, BlueJean Baby said: Very true. While wrong, yes, a slap or punch from anyone in the heat of the moment, whether from frustration, emotional pain or inability to control one's anger at that point of time, it is way different from true DV. It is more of a violent outburst, not ongoing abuse. Exactly. DV is systematic and ongoing, not a rare case, an exception or like you said, just a moment when someone is unable to control their emotions. Big difference. 1 hour ago, lucie said: if you agree that it is not ok for anyone to be violent, and that there are many forms of abuse then I have no idea why you took such offense to what I wrote. No point arguing over nothing. I didn't take offense. I just don't like that people come here telling us the obvious, as we didn't know or we were not capable of distinguishing one from the other. Your comment was made to highlight the fact that women get violent as well. You said that if we are going to be against violence, let's support all victims and not just female, which makes it look as we didn't acknowdlege other types of violence. This is not the case but we've been talking about domestic abuse towards women and that's the topic that most of us can relate to. The attempts to derail it and put the focus on other things, like victim blaming or bringing up the abuse of men is the same lame thing as #alllivesmatter when people of color fight for the #blacklivesmatter. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenityScorp Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Are They going to sing The garden? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mary Cochrane Posted May 2, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2017 Not to get involved in this conversation- but do you think we should move on to a more positive subject? I believe victims of DV should speak out 100 percent!! I also think maybe things could be lightened up a bit its better to be positive than negative x i would also like to say im so sorry for anyone who went through abusive relationships i think you are very strong and brave for getting out of that situation and are also brave for speaking out xx much love to you all on this forum 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenityScorp Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Im curious about what happened when They took this photo So nice to see Them smile N'happy 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkenchantress Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) Uhm I didn't say it was OK to hit anyone, in fact if you re read my post I said "I don't think is ok either", what I said is that they are different situations. Abuse against women has deep cultural roots unfortunately and I don't think both things can be compared. Just so. Edited May 2, 2017 by Darkenchantress 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJean Baby Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 2 hours ago, MillionsOfSpiders said: Was he ok, your son? A little bruised, but thank God he was ok. His head just missed the fireplace when the walker flew over. He was more scared than anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Mary Cochrane said: Not to get involved in this conversation- but do you think we should move on to a more positive subject? I believe victims of DV should speak out 100 percent!! I also think maybe things could be lightened up a bit its better to be positive than negative x i would also like to say im so sorry for anyone who went through abusive relationships i think you are very strong and brave for getting out of that situation and are also brave for speaking out xx much love to you all on this forum I agree we could change the subject if people feel like it... BUT PLEASE, don't call it a "NEGATIVE SUBJECT" because it is not and when we say things like this, we go back to the same shit of ignoring, rejecting, sweeping under the rug and pretending everything is rainbows and unicorns. Don't feel offended or take it the wrong way. It is not meant to scold you or anything. Just trying to erradicate all forms of censorship and negativity on it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillionsOfSpiders Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 20 minutes ago, BlueJean Baby said: A little bruised, but thank God he was ok. His head just missed the fireplace when the walker flew over. He was more scared than anything. Took my breath away reading, can he remember any of it? Really sorry if I'm overstepping just tell me to get lost if you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killuridols Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 1 hour ago, SerenityScorp said: Im curious about what happened when They took this photo So nice to see Them smile N'happy Looks like Slash couldn't keep himself standing and started to fall, hence the faces and reactions of mainly Izzy and Steven. Duff is staring like a wax doll, hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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