The MAN & WOMAN Thread.

[soon]

A parasite common to cats can make humans more into BDSM (consentual) and sexual violence (non-consentual). Men and women have slightly different responses to the parasite.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1474704916659746

Edited March 5, 2019 by soon

[Len Cnut]

30 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

I am sure you can get used to that, too. But can you get used to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex if you aren't gay? I mean, can you condition yourself to be aroused by men? That's a question for which I have no clear answer. When being hit on by men I have some times thought, "why not? let's see if I can get some enjoyment out of it", but eventually I always conclude that I simply isn't interested in it, there is no sexual attraction for me so I might as well go home and jerk off instead. Less complicated than being in a homosexual one-night stand and just not being aroused. I made out with a male friend once, on a dare, but again, no sexual arousal. Which is a pity of course, because if you can play both fields it does make things easier when single and looking for fun.

Well there are those for whom sexuality is about options.  Like how lads in prison, who might not otherwise be gay, take to bumming fellas in the shower to get their gratification.  Or people out in rural areas who shag sheep and other livestock.  So to some degree I suppose there is an environmental element in there but those are sort of extreme circumstances that have other governing factors which dictate those behaviour patterns.

Furthermore, I will never and can never get used to my poo getting pushed   And the touching them, well, I can't really explain this well but women are totally different to the touch that blokes.  I can't explain how or why, I just feel it.  Soft maybe?  To which I suppose the answer is go shag a smooth shaven fat boy   But nah, its different, birds are different, fellas are just repugnant hairy sweaty creatures, its just so...I dunno, not natural to me (natural to me, just to reiterate, not saying homosexuality is against nature, I'm just saying it don't come natural to me).

 

15 minutes ago, -W.A.R- said:

I think there is a difference in finding someone attractive and being attracted to them.

You have to admit that a young Marlon Brando was one good looking dude but that doesn't mean you want to be with him

No but its a degree closer to than a guy who, for example, doesn't hasn't and never will ever understand how any guy could possibly be attractive.

Edited March 5, 2019 by Len Cnut

[spunko12345]

40 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

To which I suppose the answer is go shag a smooth shaven fat boy  

 

Edited March 5, 2019 by spunko12345
😂😂😂

[Len Cnut]

3 minutes ago, spunko12345 said:

 

I nicked that off the new Alan Partridge

[spunko12345]

40 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

I nicked that off the new Alan Partridge

Ah yeah of course 😁 what do you think of it so far? I think it's ace. 

[Len Cnut]

18 minutes ago, spunko12345 said:

Ah yeah of course 😁 what do you think of it so far? I think it's ace. 

It is fuckin’ brilliant innit?  They’ve really done something with the format too, the juxtaposition between on air and off air and like...part of what works so well with the Partridge stuff is that they’re never lazy with the format, a lot of creators would be inclined to think OK Partridge is whats funny, just wind him up point him in the right direction and we’re quids in but they’ve never done that, KMKY was amazingly original, then the next one went to classic sitcom format then Mid Morning Matters is like online radio, even in terms of like the camerawork of it and this one is like...almost like some sort of raw unedited footage of The One Show, sort of like The One Show if the cameras stayed on the people when the video sections come along of like, I dunno, the first Pandas forced to mate or whatever bullshit they put on.

And Partridge is on fire, I love that Fluck Klunt line, that was masterful

[lame ass security]

6 hours ago, Len Cnut said:

I guess because male gender identity is closely tied with your sexuality i.e. you're not a real man if you're not straight, the very idea of being gay is considered (less so nowadays but you know what I mean) totally contrary to what it is to be male/masculine.  Also there's a rather intrusive nature to gay sex that is a bit of difficult hump for men to get over.  A woman, or most women, is getting entered one way or another, whether its a cock or fingers or a tongue (though the latter hardly enter) for a bloke, having one slipped up your khyber is a discomforting prospect.  I'm probably massively disregarding great chunks of the feminine experience here but gimme a break, I'm a bloke.

Male genitalia that isn't my own is just physically repellent to me unless its in a film balls deep in some bird, the idea of touching it is just yeuck.  Or as Ricky Gervais put it in The Office 'its different with women isn't it, more light-hearted'

"Difficult Hump"😄

[spunko12345]

16 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

It is fuckin’ brilliant innit?  They’ve really done something with the format too, the juxtaposition between on air and off air and like...part of what works so well with the Partridge stuff is that they’re never lazy with the format, a lot of creators would be inclined to think OK Partridge is whats funny, just wind him up point him in the right direction and we’re quids in but they’ve never done that, KMKY was amazingly original, then the next one went to classic sitcom format then Mid Morning Matters is like online radio, even in terms of like the camerawork of it and this one is like...almost like some sort of raw unedited footage of The One Show, sort of like The One Show if the cameras stayed on the people when the video sections come along of like, I dunno, the first Pandas forced to mate or whatever bullshit they put on.

And Partridge is on fire, I love that Fluck Klunt line, that was masterful

Yeah they've definately nailed it again. The bit at the end where he knows he's got them and he goes "oooh playing with your nose now" 😁. The beauty of him is he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown because hes not sure where he fits in anymore and crossed with absolute defiance and belief in himself. And the bit at the start when he goes off message about his fucking trainset and hops onto the counter cross legged 😂😂😂

Edited March 5, 2019 by spunko12345

[Dazey]

2 hours ago, Len Cnut said:

I nicked that off the new Alan Partridge

Loved the second episode. The bit at the end about the old dead guy being a sex case was great!  

Edited March 5, 2019 by Dazey

[Len Cnut]

50 minutes ago, spunko12345 said:

 The beauty of him is he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown because hes not sure where he fits in anymore and crossed with absolute defiance and belief in himself. 

Which is a bastard difficult thing for an actor to pull off.

7 minutes ago, Dazey said:

Loved the second episode. The bit at the end about the old dead guy being a sex case was great!  

I love how he sort of switches by the end from 'i too knew him' to 'i didn't know him as well as you two'   

[Dazey]

6 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

Which is a bastard difficult thing for an actor to pull off.

I love how he sort of switches by the end from 'i too knew him' to 'i didn't know him as well as you two'   

"In short, John Baskell was on telly, did charity work, good to friends, three marriages, now question marks over conduct."

Now that doesn't sound funny written down but I was pissing myself.

[Graeme]

On 05/03/2019 at 2:57 PM, Len Cnut said:

I think we've all a lot more gay in us that we'd like to believe.  You meet a lot of guys like 'ugh, i don't know how you could ever find a guy attractive etc etc' but thats fuckin' bullshit because, OK, you can tell when a guys good looking right?  You can tell the difference between some hideous fuckin' ogre and a good looking guy?  Based on that alone you are some of the way to understanding the homosexual experience, in some miniscule way.  I've actually had people say to me before in a similar discussion that they don't know what an attractive guy is, so entrenched is their sense of masculinity, so you have to go the whole other way of going 'OK, you can tell when a guys ugly right?  So conversely you must understand what the contrary state is i.e. a good looking bloke'. 

I think there's a bit of a difference though, in the sense that it's fairly easy to get a superficial handle on the basic archetypes of attractiveness for both men and women in terms of overall physical health, y'know, not being overweight, not being underweight, having healthy teeth, good skin, giving off the appearance of being hygienic etc. Beyond that, what makes someone good-looking is a wee bit harder to pin down, and obviously a bit subjective. I mean, take the actress Sarah Jessica Parker, physically healthy, not overweight, not underweight, healthy teeth, good skin... Has a website dedicated to pointing out the fact she apparently looks like a horse. Or Rihanna, she checks all those boxes well, but @Dazey has commented on more than one occasion about how unattractive he thinks she is. 

I'm not a guy who generally feels the need to put up some sort of facade of macho masculinity. I probably have more female friends than males. I'm pretty comfortable dancing to daft pop music in front of people, I sing all the time, I would generally always choose to hug my friends rather than shake their hands, I don't cry very often just because I don't, but I don't repress my emotions for the sake of appearing to be a 'real man'. My 'entrenched sense of masculinity' is not based on some caveman notion of the 'alpha male', all stoicism, sexism and aggression.

Despite that, I'm useless at identifying if a man is attractive or not. I mean, beyond the physical health checklist we have up above, which most male celebrities fit anyway, when someone says to me "Johnny Depp is a good-looking man"... is he? If you say so. Likewise when Benedict Cumberbatch won the "sexiest man in the world" as voted by readers for some women's magazine... Is he a good-looking dude? I have no idea.

Because of my complete lack of a barometer as to what an attractive man is, I spent most of my late teens and early twenties with no idea if I was attractive or not. I assumed I wasn't and didn't ask many girls out because I thought the answer would be no. Now I'm at the stage where enough girls have told me they think I'm good-looking that I actually believe them a bit, but I think that 'straightness' is based on what you're attracted to, which is something innate that you can't control, rather than a conscious or unconscious effort to live up to societal expectations of masculinity or femininity. 

 

[soon]

2 minutes ago, Graeme said:

I think there's a bit of a difference though, in the sense that it's fairly easy to get a superficial handle on the basic archetypes of attractiveness for both men and women in terms of overall physical health, y'know, not being overweight, not being underweight, having healthy teeth, good skin, giving off the appearance of being hygienic etc. Beyond that, what makes someone good-looking is a wee bit harder to pin down, and obviously a bit subjective. I mean, take the actress Sarah Jessica Parker, physically healthy, not overweight, not underweight, healthy teeth, good skin... Has a website dedicated to pointing out the fact she apparently looks like a horse. Or Rihanna, she checks all those boxes well, but @Dazey has commented on more than one occasion about how unattractive he thinks she is. 

I'm not a guy who generally feels the need to put up some sort of facade of macho masculinity. I probably have more female friends than males. I'm pretty comfortable dancing to daft pop music in front of people, I sing all the time, I would generally always choose to hug my friends rather than shake their hands, I don't cry very often just because I don't, but I don't repress my emotions for the sake of appearing to be a 'real man'. My 'entrenched sense of masculinity' is not based on some caveman notion of the 'alpha male', all stoicism, sexism and aggression.

Despite that, I'm useless at identifying if a man is attractive or not. I mean, beyond the physical health checklist we have up above, which most male celebrities fit anyway, when someone says to me "Johnny Depp is a good-looking man"... is he? If you say so. Likewise when Benedict Cumberbatch won the "sexiest man in the world" as voted by readers for some women's magazine... Is he a good-looking dude? I have no idea.

Because of my complete lack of a barometer as to what an attractive man is, I spent most of my late teens and early twenties with no idea if I was attractive or not. I assumed I wasn't and didn't ask many girls out because I thought the answer would be no. Now I'm at the stage where enough girls have told me they think I'm good-looking that I actually believe them a bit, but I think that 'straightness' is based on what you're attracted to, which is something innate that you can't control, rather than a conscious or unconscious effort to live up to societal expectations of masculinity or femininity. 

 

I think that most men do believe themselves to know what a good looking male is - because its how we dress and appoint ourselves. Youthful insecurity aside, how do you choose a haircut, clothes, accessories, facial hair, foot wear, fragrance, etc if you dont know what makes an attractive man? Like, I figure we are all attempting to put our best foot forward, so we must have some sense of a 'good looking man' and take that knowledge into account to try and be sexy ourselves?

[SoulMonster]

I suppose there's a difference between being able to recognize "ugly" and "normal" and being able to differentiate between "good looking" and "really good looking". Many men probably lack that fine-sensor.

[Graeme]

5 minutes ago, soon said:

I think that most men do believe themselves to know what a good looking male is - because its how we dress and appoint ourselves. Youthful insecurity aside, how do you choose a haircut, clothes, accessories, facial hair, foot wear, fragrance, etc if you dont know what makes an attractive man? Like, I figure we are all attempting to put our best foot forward, so we must have some sense of a 'good looking man' and take that knowledge into account to try and be sexy ourselves?

But that's exactly what I was saying, if you reread my post. Someone can have all that stuff, can tick all these boxes, and still not be physically attractive. That's a 'sense' of what a good-looking man is, it's not being attracted to men.

[soon]

2 minutes ago, Graeme said:

But that's exactly what I was saying, if you reread my post. Someone can have all that stuff, can tick all these boxes, and still not be physically attractive. That's a 'sense' of what a good-looking man is, it's not being attracted to men.

You spoke to health and hygiene. I was speaking to other aspects that men "know" how to increase their attractiveness. If we believe we know how to best present ourselves, beyond health and hygiene, then we apparently do have a sense of what is attractive.

To the degree that we dont understand if a women would agree with our presentation is another issue. One of my favourite stand-ups Chelsea Peretti jokes that men being attracted to women is gay because its all 'pink and flowers' lol. Maybe our sense of what makes a good looking man is rather homo-social.

Im on board that we dont always know if women will find us attractive, but we all make decisions and spend money to cultivate our style with an eye towards being attractive, like a choice of scents. Which we measure for ourselves ultimately. And yes, naturally, its different then feeling attracted to men.

 

[EvanG]

Is attractiveness the same as being good-looking? I've seen plenty of ugly people who are still somehow attractive. Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what I find beautiful doesn't mean someone else will. 

[Dazey]

1 hour ago, Graeme said:

@Dazey has commented on more than one occasion about how unattractive he thinks he is. 

Yeah, I read it like this ^ and got upset for a moment.  

[Dazey]

1 hour ago, Graeme said:

I think there's a bit of a difference though, in the sense that it's fairly easy to get a superficial handle on the basic archetypes of attractiveness for both men and women in terms of overall physical health, y'know, not being overweight, not being underweight, having healthy teeth, good skin, giving off the appearance of being hygienic etc. Beyond that, what makes someone good-looking is a wee bit harder to pin down, and obviously a bit subjective. I mean, take the actress Sarah Jessica Parker, physically healthy, not overweight, not underweight, healthy teeth, good skin... Has a website dedicated to pointing out the fact she apparently looks like a horse. Or Rihanna, she checks all those boxes well, but @Dazey has commented on more than one occasion about how unattractive he thinks she is. 

I'm not a guy who generally feels the need to put up some sort of facade of macho masculinity. I probably have more female friends than males. I'm pretty comfortable dancing to daft pop music in front of people, I sing all the time, I would generally always choose to hug my friends rather than shake their hands, I don't cry very often just because I don't, but I don't repress my emotions for the sake of appearing to be a 'real man'. My 'entrenched sense of masculinity' is not based on some caveman notion of the 'alpha male', all stoicism, sexism and aggression.

Despite that, I'm useless at identifying if a man is attractive or not. I mean, beyond the physical health checklist we have up above, which most male celebrities fit anyway, when someone says to me "Johnny Depp is a good-looking man"... is he? If you say so. Likewise when Benedict Cumberbatch won the "sexiest man in the world" as voted by readers for some women's magazine... Is he a good-looking dude? I have no idea.

Because of my complete lack of a barometer as to what an attractive man is, I spent most of my late teens and early twenties with no idea if I was attractive or not. I assumed I wasn't and didn't ask many girls out because I thought the answer would be no. Now I'm at the stage where enough girls have told me they think I'm good-looking that I actually believe them a bit, but I think that 'straightness' is based on what you're attracted to, which is something innate that you can't control, rather than a conscious or unconscious effort to live up to societal expectations of masculinity or femininity. 

You're so well adjusted it makes me sick at times!  

[DieselDaisy]

Professionals aside, how can anyone dance without being absolutely mortal? I do not get the concept.

[SoulMonster]

33 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

Professionals aside, how can anyone dance without being absolutely mortal? I do not get the concept.

Because it is fun?

[DieselDaisy]

6 minutes ago, SoulMonster said:

Because it is fun?

I.e., ravey boppy type dancing and not proper dancing. 

[SoulMonster]

53 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

I.e., ravey boppy type dancing and not proper dancing. 

I can't properly dance, either  Just bop your tushy a bit and flirt with the girls. What is it not to like?

[Ace Nova]

For anyone who is interested, I'm an excellent dancer.  Been at it since I was 13/14 years old.... in the Italian Disco tech's of the late 80's, early 90's. 

 

[janrichmond]

8 minutes ago, Kasanova King said:

For anyone who is interested, I'm an excellent dancer.  Been at it since I was 13/14 years old.... in the Italian Disco tech's of the late 80's, early 90's. 

 

Such claims have to show video evidence, it's the new forum law.