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STAR WARS: RISE OF SKYWALKER - SPOILERS!!!

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14 hours ago, Amir said:

First half of this review is pretty funny:

 

The whole Review is funny. Also that movie poster is really cool. Too bad the movie is a piece of shit.

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The review everyone's been waiting for:

 

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On 21/12/2019 at 9:32 PM, DieselDaisy said:

Well, that will relieve the pressure!

Did you enjoy the scene where they are riding on the star destroyer on digital horses? 

Mate, it was utter arse gravy from start to finish and I’m really annoyed at that.

For me, the biggest eye roll moment came when she holds up the dagger and the shape just happens to fit perfectly against the silhouette of the Death Star wreckage. Now correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the dagger supposed to be some ancient relic? If so then how the fuck did it fit the outline of the 30 year old wreckage? :lol: 

Also how did she just happen to be in the exact right spot for that to work? Like in an alternate cut the Emperor wins because Rey was standing 6 feet to the right. :lol: 

Edited by Dazey

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38 minutes ago, Dazey said:

Mate, it was utter arse gravy from start to finish and I’m really annoyed at that.

For me, the biggest eye roll moment came when she holds up the dagger and the shape just happens to fit perfectly against the silhouette of the Death Star wreckage. Now correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the dagger supposed to be some ancient relic? If so then how the fuck did it fit the outline of the 30 year old wreckage? :lol: 

Also how did she just happen to be in the exact right spot for that to work? Like in an alternate cut the Emperor wins because Rey was standing 6 feet to the right. :lol: 

And it is meant to be an ancient Sith relic, built centuries before the death star!!

Another thing is that Palpatine shagged somebody at some stage to produce a granddaughter. 

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5 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

And it is meant to be an ancient Sith relic, built centuries before the death star!!

My point EXACTLY!!!! 
Also, given that the Emperor was on this supposedly uncharted planet, how did he manage to get the hundreds of thousands of crew there to pilot his fleet of star destroyers without somebody blabbing the location? 

Edited by Dazey

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5 hours ago, Jw224 said:

Kylo dying was the only way, you don't give a mass murderer Redemption then let him live. 

I had no problem with that; but when Rey thought she had murdered chewie and then 2 minutes later the film shows us it’s fine-kind of took me out of the movie. Couldn’t even hold that bit of suspense. 

 

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The dagger thing was dumb as fuck

 

I'm excited for Mike's Plinkett review

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2 hours ago, Dazey said:

Mate, it was utter arse gravy from start to finish and I’m really annoyed at that.

For me, the biggest eye roll moment came when she holds up the dagger and the shape just happens to fit perfectly against the silhouette of the Death Star wreckage. Now correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the dagger supposed to be some ancient relic? If so then how the fuck did it fit the outline of the 30 year old wreckage? :lol: 

Also how did she just happen to be in the exact right spot for that to work? Like in an alternate cut the Emperor wins because Rey was standing 6 feet to the right. 

A) the relic is prothetic and b) she's Mary Sue. She can do anything. Even stand at the right spot, where the ancient, prothetic relic makes sense. :lol:

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1 hour ago, Dazey said:

My point EXACTLY!!!! 
Also, given that the Emperor was on this supposedly uncharted planet, how did he manage to get the hundreds of thousands of crew there to pilot his fleet of star destroyers without somebody blabbing the location? 

How the heck did the emperor survive? He blew up when Vader shoved him down that hole at the end of Jedi, and then the entire Death Star blew up soon after! Now we see him stuck on tubes. I am sure somebody will produce a comic about it but I am not interested in any of that nerd stuff. 

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1 hour ago, DieselDaisy said:

And it is meant to be an ancient Sith relic, built centuries before the death star!!

Another thing is that Palpatine shagged somebody at some stage to produce a granddaughter. 

Oh, well. He was a late bloomer as an emperor. Somehow he had to pass the time, before his face melted off. :P It probably would have made more sense (LOL) to make her his great grand daughter.

Edited by PatrickS77

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3 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

How the heck did the emperor survive? He blew up when Vader shoved him down that hole at the end of Jedi, and then the entire Death Star blew up soon after! Now we see him stuck on tubes. I am sure somebody will produce a comic about it but I am not interested in any of that nerd stuff. 

That brings us to the question of how that blown up wreckage of the death star can end up on a planet pretty much intact? When planes fall out of the sky, there usually is not much left. How would a death star from out of space be intact?

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Just now, PatrickS77 said:

That brings us to the question of how that blown up wreckage of the death star can end up on a planet pretty much intact? When planes fall out of the sky, there usually is not much left. How would a death star from out of space be intact?

The explosion was fairly comprehensive,

maxresdefault.jpg

Yet we are led to believe that this survived, and somehow managed to make it to the planet,

Star-Wars-The-Rise-of-Skywalker-deathsta

 

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10 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

The explosion was fairly comprehensive,

maxresdefault.jpg

Yet we are led to believe that this survived, and somehow managed to make it to the planet,

Star-Wars-The-Rise-of-Skywalker-deathsta

 

Yeah. Like I said. The whole movie is dumb as fuck. You can only enjoy it if you hand in your brain at the door when entering.

I'm sure though someone will say that the emperor has survived in that piece of DS that miracoulisly wasn't destroyed and made it on that planet. :facepalm:

Edited by PatrickS77
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13 minutes ago, PatrickS77 said:

That brings us to the question of how that blown up wreckage of the death star can end up on a planet pretty much intact? When planes fall out of the sky, there usually is not much left. How would a death star from out of space be intact?

Complaints like this make no sense to me, you're watching a film about people who can use powers and fly spaceships and turn into ghosts and you're complaining about some wreckage. 

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Just now, Jw224 said:

Complaints like this make no sense to me, you're watching a film about people who can use powers and fly spaceships and turn into ghosts and you're complaining about some wreckage. 

I knew someone would reply with this! 

There has to be an eternal logic to the film which exists irrespective of its genre. Just because it is set in a ''galaxy far far away'' does not create an excuse for variable plotting, puzzling/abrupt character changes and incidents which simply completely contradict one and another. 

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6 minutes ago, DieselDaisy said:

I knew someone would reply with this! 

There has to be an eternal logic to the film which exists irrespective of its genre. Just because it is set in a ''galaxy far far away'' does not create an excuse for variable plotting, puzzling/abrupt character changes and incidents which simply completely contradict one and another. 

The wreckage fell when it blew up, that's the clear explanation. No wonder filmmakers don't want to work on star wars when fans complain about stuff like this. 

Edited by Jw224

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1 minute ago, Jw224 said:

The wreckage fell when it blew up, that's the clear explanation. No wonder filmmakers don't want to work on star wars when fans complain about stuff like this. 

maxresdefault.jpg

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I totally understand that there are plot holes and so on, but again, there were lots of those in the OG trilogy yet it gets a total pass for some reason. 

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2 hours ago, Jw224 said:

Complaints like this make no sense to me, you're watching a film about people who can use powers and fly spaceships and turn into ghosts and you're complaining about some wreckage. 

Yes. I complain about that. Suspenscion of disbelief only goes so far. Superman can fly and has superstrength, but if they would tell me that Batman suddenly can fly too and also has superstrength, then I would say, get the fuck out of here.

Edited by PatrickS77
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44 minutes ago, Jw224 said:

The wreckage fell when it blew up, that's the clear explanation. No wonder filmmakers don't want to work on star wars when fans complain about stuff like this. 

Right. And after being blown to bits and falling (shouldn't whatever is left just float) and then finally falling, after it miraculously managed to float to a planet, it pretty much stayed in one piece, after it crashed to the ground.

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1 hour ago, DieselDaisy said:

maxresdefault.jpg

I don't understand what you're trying to say here. I really don't. If you go and see Star wars and expect realism then I think maybe you're not into star wars anymore. 

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1 hour ago, PatrickS77 said:

Yeah. Like I said. The whole movie is dumb as fuck. You can only enjoy it if you hand in your brain at the door when entering.

I'm sure though someone will say that the emperor has survived in that piece of DS that miracoulisly wasn't destroyed and made it on that planet. :facepalm:

Note that those pieces of DS had to enter in an atmosphere...

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1 hour ago, RussTCB said:

I totally understand that there are plot holes and so on, but again, there were lots of those in the OG trilogy yet it gets a total pass for some reason. 

Because they were good movies. It had plot holes, but its positives overweighted the negatives.

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47 minutes ago, Jw224 said:

I don't understand what you're trying to say here. I really don't. If you go and see Star wars and expect realism then I think maybe you're not into star wars anymore. 

If something completely gets destroyed, it cannot turn up in a subsequent film!! It does matter about the genre of the film here (i.e. sci fi) as the film series has to have its own logic and plausibility.

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