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Guns N’ Roses Guitarist DJ Ashba Reveals His Tortured Childhood


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Guns N’ Roses guitarist DJ Ashba is revealing shocking details about his childhood, where he endured the mental and physical abuse of his father and RumorFix has the exclusive.

The musician, who said he was “petrified as a child,” posted his story on Bullyville, writing, “Most of my time was spent hiding in the back of my closet.”

“Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wake up call consisted of my dad’s fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in The Shining,” he writes.

“I can’t begin to tell you the countless days of walking home from school, scared to death to walk through the front door. The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.”

The 39-year-0ld says, “The real hero was my mother … Looking back now and realizing how she risked her own safety for my well-being. She was the real war hero .. My dad would use me as leverage against her simply because he knew I was her world. To him I was his worst mistake. “

DJ Ashba remembers a moment when he was three years old and started crying after he fell down some steps on Christmas morning. His father told him, “You wanna be a little cry baby, I’ll give you something to cry about,” as he bet him. Ashba says he hasn’t cried since.

“Somehow I was able to bottle all of my anger and use it for my motivation. Motivation to do what ever I had to do to turn out nothing like my dad. Do I hate him for what he did to us? No, I have forgiven him, but I will always live through his mistakes and continue to become a better person,” he says.

http://rumorfix.com/2012/04/guns-n-roses-guitarist-dj-ashba-reveals-his-tortured-childhood/

ALSO:

Dj ASHBA

Bullying Survivor

My years of growing up in a loving household, filled will hopes and dreams, were shattered to pieces from the day I was born. All I can remember is being petrified as a child, not only for my own safety, but for my mother's as well. Every moment of every day would depend on my Dad's mood. Most of my time was spent hiding in the back of my closet, going into convulsions as if I were somehow dancing to the destructive sound of violence coming from the next room.

Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wake up call consisted of my dad's fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in the Shining. The crazy part about all of this is I spent my youth years constantly trying to gain his respect. I even went as far as putting him on a pedestal, making him out to be some kind of hero in my undeveloped mind, just to have him beat me down time after time. I can't begin to tell you the countless days of walking home from school, scared to death to walk through the front door. The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.

The real hero was my mother, I can not tell you what an amazing human being she is. Looking back now and realizing how she risked her own safety for my well-being. She was the real war hero, fearlessly putting herself in the line of fire, "diving onto the grenade" so to speak. My dad would use me as leverage against her simply because he knew I was her world. To him, I was his worst mistake. Having my dad doing everything in his power to get me out of the house, even pulling on one arm and my mom trying to stop him by pulling on the other, is a far cry from a fun ride at Disneyland. My entire life since, I have lived with being mentally and physically abused. I have lived with abandonment issues. I have spent my whole life never shedding a tear due to me accidentally falling down the steps one Christmas morning. When I was about 3 years old, I tumbled down the stairs into the the room where my dad sat in front of the fireplace and started to cry.

Stockings hung from the mantel and lights shown bright through the greenery. My dad stood up from the couch and sternly commanded that men don't cry. He said, "You wanna be a little cry baby, I'll give you something to cry about." as he beat me. Then, I would have to go to school and try to hide the perfect hand shaped welts on my body. After all of that, I would still sit up waiting by the window like a beaten puppy, waiting for him to come home every night. That is, until the night he never came home again. I became the head of the household, way to young for anyone in life. I grew up in the middle of nowhere a tiny little town called Fairbury without a TV in my house so, I am living proof that anyone can over come anything in life and still reach your dreams. Somehow I was able to bottle all of my anger and use it for my motivation. Motivation to do what ever I had to do to turn out nothing like my dad. Do I hate him for what he did to us? No, I have forgiven him, but I will always live through his mistakes and continue to become a better person.

http://www.bullyville.com/?page=story&id=4411&sid=4575

Edit, More story:

Guns N’ Roses guitarist DJ Ashba is sharing his emotional story of childhood abuse for the first time. Ashba says he was physically and mentally abused by his father from a very young age.

“It has been hard for me as it’s something I have blocked out my whole life… I moved out when I was 16, and I never looked back,” Ashba told FOX411’s Pop Tarts column exclusively. “But if I can help just one person who is being bullied, then this is worth it. It is such an important topic, and it stays with you.”

Ashba is embracing a new role apart from his famous rock band as the new spokesperson for the anti-bullying website, BULLYVILLE.com. “I had to get involved,” he told us. “I don’t get involved in things unless I believe in them 100 percent.”

In a lengthy personal account to be posted on the website, Ashba details his earliest memories being “petrified” not only for his own safety, but for his mother’s too, as “every moment of every day” would depend on his dad’s mood.

“Instead of a hug and a kiss, my morning wakeup call consisted of my dad’s fist coming through my closet door, similar to Jack Nicholson in the ‘Shining.’ The craziest part about all of this is I spent my youth years constantly trying to gain his respect,” Ashba wrote. “I even went as far as to put him on a pedestal, making him out to be some kind of hero in my undeveloped mind, just to have him beat me down time after time.”

But the real hero, Ashba says, was his mother.

“Looking back now realizing how she risked her own safety for my wellbeing. She was the real war hero, fearlessly putting herself in the line of fire,” he continued. “The fear was so overwhelming that I would literally pee my pants.”

Ashba tells of the time he spent “hiding in the back of the closet, going into convulsions as if I were somehow dancing to the destructive sound,” and reflects on the time he was about three years old, and tumbled down the stairs, crying, into the room where dad sat in front of the fireplace.

“Stockings hung from the mantle and lights shone bright through the greenery,” he recalled. “My dad stood up from the couch and sternly commanded that men don’t cry. He said, ‘you want to be a little cry baby, I’ll give you something to cry about,’ as he beat me.”

Ashba said he has used his tumultuous past as motivation to be the best person he could be and, saying that despite everything, he has come to forgive his dad.

“I don’t hate him, I don’t wish anything bad on him – nobody gives you a handbook on how to be a father,” Ashba added. “I don’t know what to expect (from him) now that I have told my story, and I don’t really care. This time it is about me, not him.”

A source close to Ashba says he and his estranged father have recently started texting once in a while to work towards resolving their differences, and that the father has come to see him at performances.

Ashba’s father could not be reached for comment, but his current wife, reached on the phone, denied any knowledge of him having abused his son.

Ashba says that while he is working to mend family fences,“Anger sort of fuels the fire that keeps me going inside, and in a way, success today really comes from seeking approval that I never got when I was little. But no matter how big or successful you become, there is always a hole in your heart.

“I’m lucky that I am in a position where I have a voice, I can step up and bring awareness, and I wanted to share my story and be a spokesperson for Bullyville because it provides an online community and a place for people getting bullied to get help and understand they aren’t alone… But this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.”

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/04/17/guns-n-roses-guitarist-dj-ashba-tells-emotional-story-childhood-abuse/#ixzz1sKxoyDkL

Edited by gunsguy
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*yawn* every rock star was beat up and touched as a child. I'm sure the millions of dollars, woman and fame help to seal those wounds quick enough.

Basic Human Empathy Fail. Gtfo

you are aware that there are thousands of little boys being beaten up or even raped as we speak right? and you are showing no empathy to them. hypocrisy. just caring because you know who the person is. i hate this kind of people.

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Now I can see why Axl likes him. They have a common past.

In my experience child abuse is nothing to laugh about. It is the most fucked up feeling that someone you depend on for protection and guidance turns you into a punching bag, physically and verbally. You just feel like shit, I admire Ashba how well he turned out.

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*yawn* every rock star was beat up and touched as a child. I'm sure the millions of dollars, woman and fame help to seal those wounds quick enough.

Basic Human Empathy Fail. Gtfo

So let me get this right, in between DJ talking about how often he goes to vages and all the things he can do with his money, to his fans that can't afford his luxuries, he then gobs off for his fans to feel 'his pain'. THAT is low. I bet you within a week he's talking about doing something high profile, or some exclusive party that none of his fans can get into.

He's a 39 year old man. His tactic is to appeal to emotional teenagers, and it works. How many 39 year olds in your life talk like DJ does?

Now I can see why Axl likes him. They have a common past.

In my experience child abuse is nothing to laugh about. It is the most fucked up feeling that someone you depend on for protection and guidance turns you into a punching bag, physically and verbally. You just feel like shit, I admire Ashba how well he turned out.

I think he like him because he's a good guitar player with a likeable personality. I don't think child abuse issues was on his application form.

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*yawn* every rock star was beat up and touched as a child. I'm sure the millions of dollars, woman and fame help to seal those wounds quick enough.

Basic Human Empathy Fail. Gtfo

you are aware that there are thousands of little boys being beaten up or even raped as we speak right? and you are showing no empathy to them. hypocrisy. just caring because you know who the person is. i hate this kind of people.

No, you're a dick, and that's all.

Perhaps DJ revealing this might provide some inspiration or hope to someone enduring a similar situation.

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That Six AM guitarist sure had a tought time of it. I'm sorry for him.

yet his music sounds bland and uninspired

some similarities with axl's life

Maybe one day he'll refuse to go on stage unless the band hands the name over to him.

Slash is no longer in GNR. Get over it and grow up.

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*yawn* every rock star was beat up and touched as a child. I'm sure the millions of dollars, woman and fame help to seal those wounds quick enough.

Basic Human Empathy Fail. Gtfo

So let me get this right, in between DJ talking about how often he goes to vages and all the things he can do with his money, to his fans that can't afford his luxuries, he then gobs off for his fans to feel 'his pain'. THAT is low. I bet you within a week he's talking about doing something high profile, or some exclusive party that none of his fans can get into.

He's a 39 year old man. His tactic is to appeal to emotional teenagers, and it works. How many 39 year olds in your life talk like DJ does?

Now I can see why Axl likes him. They have a common past.

In my experience child abuse is nothing to laugh about. It is the most fucked up feeling that someone you depend on for protection and guidance turns you into a punching bag, physically and verbally. You just feel like shit, I admire Ashba how well he turned out.

I think he like him because he's a good guitar player with a likeable personality. I don't think child abuse issues was on his application form.

Never said it makes you a better person, just brave of him to talk about it. Something I couldn't bring myself to.

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Maybe DJ was a little arse hole when he was younger, kids can be, maybe he deserved the beats? This is one sided story.

In this case regardless of who it was (DJ or otherwise) a child NEVER deserves these things, EVER. If you feel the way you posted I hope you never have children or are never allowed to be around children.

Edited by gunsguy
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we're not making fun, it's just a sneaky tactic he can use to pull at the emotional strings of highly charged emotional teenager. I surprised it doesn't advertise 'Ashba Swag' in their some how.

" My dad used to beat me, but it was all better after I started to wear flannels from ashbaswag.com with a 20% off. I never got any more black eyes after my first ovaition guitar"

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That Six AM guitarist sure had a tought time of it. I'm sorry for him.

yet his music sounds bland and uninspired

some similarities with axl's life

Maybe one day he'll refuse to go on stage unless the band hands the name over to him.

Slash is no longer in GNR. Get over it and grow up.

Your not wrong there. You forgot to add: Izzy, Adler, and Duff. Only one remains, Uncle Axl, bless his cotton socks.

This thread is supposed to be about DJ Ash, and the beating he took.

Edited by vaida
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*yawn* every rock star was beat up and touched as a child. I'm sure the millions of dollars, woman and fame help to seal those wounds quick enough.
Basic Human Empathy Fail. Gtfo
you are aware that there are thousands of little boys being beaten up or even raped as we speak right? and you are showing no empathy to them. hypocrisy. just caring because you know who the person is. i hate this kind of people.

You're line of thought is so ridiculous :rofl-lol:

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