NME: 18 Reasons Why Axl Rose Is The Biggest Douchebag In Rock

[RJ88]

I despise small dogs too

i guess I'm a douche

[Georgy Zhukov]

"We're pretty sure it wasn't his mother."

That is because his mother has been dead for years. Did this idiot do any research?

NME sucks. I'd rather read Rolling Stone

Small dogs bother the crap out of me, especially when they get aggressive and I am like you kidding me? All I have to do is lift my foot and you are a goner.

Edited April 20, 2012 by BirdCatcher

[wasted]

Those were actually most of Axls good points.

[vndam1121]

Well that was 5 minute of my life I wish I could have back. All that article was is the same rehashed whining that mainstream media has been dishing out for years. Axl is a douchbag because he had corn rows? Really?

[The Real McCoy]

18 Reasons Priya Elan is an Incompetent Dick Who Wrote a Shitty Article

You may know Priya Elan as the...well...you probably don't know him. That's about all the introduction he deserves.

18. His 'attitude'

Priya Elan has no dick. He's a pussy that would lose a fight to a softcover copy of Twilight. He has a whiny, wannabe sarcastic cool guy style that goes over about as well as hiring a Muhammad impersonator to do your bar mitzvah in the Gaza Strip. He bitches. That's all. Look at the list of things he's chosen to present Axl Rose as the biggest douchebag of them all: he's insulted other rock bands. He's insulted rock critics. He's dressed badly and worn his hair in unflattering styles. He's a womanizer! [sharp intake of breath!] Imagine the nerve of that, a rock star who sleeps around. He hates poodles? This is the shit that will keep me up at night.

17. He overuses the suffix -gate

Tommy Hilfiger-gate

Bob Guccione Jr.-gate

Metallica-gate

Velvet Revolver-gate

Nirvana-gate

Holy fuck, how about this one:

Prya Elan couldn't think of a real headline-gate.

16. He doesn't get rock

Priya Elan tries to convince you the that a guy is the poster boy for douchebags in rock by quoting him as saying "When the going get tough, the tough get an Uzi." Listen, space alien, here on Earth we have a concept called 'badass,' and generally idolize it in these people called 'rock stars.'

15. He's lazy as fuck

He tosses in about one sentence of elaboration for each entry and doesn't even get a picture for all of them. Those that do get a picture are mostly unrelated to the entry. The number of fucks Priya Elan did not give about this article could have reopulated Darfur, if only Priya Elan could do anything right.

14. His non-existent sense of humor

Setting aside his own boring attempts at witty commentary, Priya Elan apparently has a hard time understanding when someone else is joking. He interprets the statement "I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot," as being Axl's revelation of some seaweed phobia. He also takes "I don't even know my own phone number," at face value. He's either utterly humorless, dumb as fuck, or simply a liar, or some pitiful combination of the three.

13. He gets facts wrong

The "Pigeons of Shit Metal" were lambasted as such by Axl after getting a bad reception from the audience they opened for, not for showing up to rehearsal late. Priya Elan can't even take this entry seriously, as he acknowledges it as "a good insult, to be fair." His heart really wasn't into this at all. Later on, he refers to Duff as "guitarist." Are you fucking serious? Duff was around in the days where it was just five guys on stage, not eight, and yet Priya Elan is still too dumb to keep who played what straight.

12. He throws in red herrings

Priya Elan will give you a headline that makes you think he's on to one of the bigger stories, but will invariably describe some pissant non-event overshadowed by a better story. His "Metalica-gate" section covers a couple of jabs at each other in the media, ignoring the disastrous co-headlining tour where Axl ditched the show instead of filling in for Metallica when Hetfield was burned. He chooses one of the literally dozens of incidents where Axl told a fan to get the fuck out instead of, you know, that time he actually dived on a guy in the crowd filming the band to beat the shit out of him. He talks about Velvet Revolver insults and leaves out calling Slash a cancer. What the fuck? Priya Elan is gifted with an eye for the insignificant.

11. He repeats entries

Because once again, he's a lazy, incompetent moron who somehow cannot find enough reasons to fill out a list of douchey things Axl Rose has done. One entry on Axl's bad 2000s hairstyles is enough, Priya.

10. He doesn't know what a douchebag is

There's supposed to be some overall thesis to this article, right? These 18 entries should all come together to make the reader conclude Axl Rose is indeed the biggest douchebag in rock and roll. Maybe Priya should've reviewed a bit before submitting this piece and realised that what his list adds up to is a guy who freely insults other rock stars, has a few eccenctricities, and doesn't take shit from fans or Tommy Hilfiger. And of course, did not fuflill Priya Elan's personal dreams of showing up at the Hall of Fame and announcing a new album coming up with Slash and Izzy; this is the only reason the article was written; the rest is just half-assed bullshit tossed in. If he were making the case that Axl Rose was a douchebag based on other factors like his past abusive relationships with women, violent assaults on other people, showing up late, not going to his own rehearsals, storming off stage, etc, then you'd present an argument. But this is Priya Elan, and a troop of gorillas ejaculating onto an Etch-a-Sketch could create a more meaningful statement than him.

9. He has dumb sideburns

That just do not go well with his hair.

8. He makes Sarah Palin references

See #15.

7. He repeats entries

And it's just so fucking dumb.

6. He's

5. really

4. stretching

3. to find

2. entries, and it's sad

1. He misses big shit

Enough of the bullshit, this is the real issue. It's fucking pitiful that Priya Elan can set out to find 18 reasons why Axl Rose is the biggest douchebag in the rock world and he can't even come up with a decent list. He should have to be chopping off entries to make it fit, this is fucking Axl Rose, a guy who has throughout his lifetime:

- Triggered two riots by storming off stage

- Been taken to court for domestic abuse by two women who had relationships with him

- Physically assaulted people at his shows

- Physically assaulted people outside of his shows

- Routinely showed up late to concerts

- Fired managers and others left and right

- Called Slash a cancer

- Said Bon Jovi can suck his dick

- Wrote the lyrics to One in a Million

- Posted a foaming-at-the-mouth rant at someone who antagonized him on a GNR fan forum

- Not shown up at his own band's rehearsals

- Brought in his friend to record over Slash's guitar solo without telling anyone

Priya Elan has a fucking mountain of potential material to work with to create an entertaining and cohesive article, and yet somehow fails to do that and produces a half-assed piece of garbage, because he is an utterly incompetent and useless columnist.

Best. Post. Ever.

[tomfriend]

Coming from NME, the magazine that in one year featured The Darkness on it's cover 3 times and later the same year declared them the most pathetic band in rock? I wouldn't give much of a shit about the trend-hopping little cretins.

[The Archer]

By the way - here is the email of this incompetent prick: priya_elan@ipcmedia.com

Maybe someone could write him something nice...

Priya is a girl's name in India, but this is a guy

http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/priyaelan

By the way - here is the email of this incompetent prick: priya_elan@ipcmedia.com

Maybe someone could write him something nice...

I sent him my own article

Cool bro

[The Archer]

Priya Elan is typical of 99.99% of 'GNR fans' or the general populace who diss Axl and the current Guns line up. They are just lemmings who don't know shit about the facts and just follow widespread and therefore, popular opinion.

When Slash and the others who left the band were propagating their asinine stories as truth to all and sundry, Axl wasn't communicating to the general public and just wanted to be left to himself. If he had been outspoken or at a different place personally/emotionally, there may have well been a very different truth out there.

[tr420]

MISLEADING TITLE!!!!! I thought the list was supposed to be the reasons why he's a douchebag! Most of that was reasons why he's FUCKING AWESOME!

[vaida]

"We're pretty sure it wasn't his mother."

That is because his mother has been dead for years. Did this idiot do any research?

NME sucks. I'd rather read Rolling Stone

Small dogs bother the crap out of me, especially when they get aggressive and I am like you kidding me? All I have to do is lift my foot and you are a goner.

I think it was supposed to a joke.

[GNR123GNR456]

"We're pretty sure it wasn't his mother."

That is because his mother has been dead for years. Did this idiot do any research?

NME sucks. I'd rather read Rolling Stone

Small dogs bother the crap out of me, especially when they get aggressive and I am like you kidding me? All I have to do is lift my foot and you are a goner.

I think it was supposed to a joke.

No, the "joke" was the entire article.

[wasted]

I think with NME they (the journo/editor) are just going for some quick Axl bashing. thats the sole purpose, while not really taking themselves or anything even that seriously cos they are hardcore indie dick smokers. remember the NME review of CD: "Axl, you blew it." - not even trying to be balanced or fair. they just hate Axl for what he supposedly stands for. maybe in some weird ironic way they think Axl is hilarious. then they puke into their bottle of Hock and try to roll a cig from tobacco they found in their coat pockets.