Dan H. Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) Alright, I'm going to spoiler tag this post, and go into detail about the movie, and what I liked and didn't like. The movie started off fine, I liked quick the introduction to the plot with the Lonely Mountain, the village, and Smaug. My first issue, which made me start to expect disappointment, was the obnoxious and cartoony animation and overwhelming 'epicness' of the dwarf city inside the Lonely Mountain.It looked like a giant space station or something out of the Alien movies. It immediately detached me from the start of the film, and I much prefer the 'style' that went with the mines of Moriah in Fellowship. It felt spectacular, and beautiful, but also very realistic, and in a style that kind of matched the dwarves culture.Okay, from that point on, things got better. I loved the inclusion of some of my favorite lines from the book, notably the Bilbo/Gandalf/Dwarves meeting scenes.There were some moments where the tone got choppy, particularly when it went from 'lighthearted and funny' scenes like the dwarves throwing around the plates then awkwardly shifting into the sad and somber 'Misty Mountains' song.The rest of the film kind of ran itself off the rails. Here are my list of likes, and dislikes.Likes:Ian McKellan did great, as usual.Inclusion of the Necromancer plot.I liked the 'idea' of the white Orc, I appreciate what Jackson was trying to do.The Gollum/Bilbo scene was enjoyable, though perhaps a little rushed.The guy who played Thorin nailed the partThe guy who played Bilbo nailed the partThe symbolism behind Bilbo was touched on nicely, which is an absolutely essential part of both LotR and The Hobbit. Biblo represents you and me. Ordinary people, living ordinary lives, who go about 'unnoticed' and are unimportant and irrelevant to the rest of the world. Jackson did a good job adding some dialogue that touched on that.The running time did not bother me.SO now time for the bad, the very bad, and the downright ridiculous:Awkward humor. I understand that The Hobbit is a lighthearted adventure. But most of the humor was in the characteristics of the dwarves and Bilbo.I thought the cupcake scene was fine, as it was supposed to be kind of funny, and kind of intimidating, and they got that down correctly. It goes off the rails though during the Goblin scene in the Misty Mountains, which I hated every second of.Firstly, these are the same goblins as were in LotR, correct? The goblins in the Misty Mountains. Aesthetically, they looked nothing like the goblins from Fellowship. And more annoyingly was the fact that every single one of them looked literally exactly the same, because they were all CGI. In LotR the goblins were people in costume and make-up, and it looked a lot better. The CGI used in LotR was mostly for the dramatic sweeping shots, to show massive amounts of orcs or goblins. But usually during the fight scenes the close ranks of orcs were always people in costume. WHY DID JACKSON MAKE THESE GOBLINS ALL CGI. And even worse make them ALL literally look exactly the same.And when I say they all look exactly the same, I don't mean they all look similar. I mean that it looks like they rendered one CGI model for the goblins, and then just copied it over and over again. Every single goblin is identical, their features, their skin tone, their weapons, and their weird ineffective loin cloth thing..Next is the Goblin King, who looked comical, and hardly intimidating. He looked like Boss Nass from the Phantom Menace. Like a giant fat fucking Pixar cartoon with a scrotum for a chin. Not only did he look comical, but he behaved and acted comically. Including taunting Gandalf, to which Gandalf responds by simply slicing open the Goblin Kings stomach (to which the Goblin King says 'that'll do it' in a horribly comical cockney accent). Since when has a LotR villain ever been comical? Or has ever had a 'hilarious' one liner after being killed? Or has ever looked so fucking fake and awful?And aren't goblins in the LotR universe supposed to be small, slimy looking orcs that crawl around on the walls and have creepy beady eyes? They were intimidating in LotR especially in the scene where they crawl out of the ceiling in the mines like spiders? Why do they look so stupid in this movie?Anyways let's think back to some LotR filler baddiesLurch, the Urik from Fellowship was a seven foot dude in scary make up who said nothing but scary and evil things and murdered a main character.The cupcake in Fellowship, also said nothing at all, kicked the shit out of everything, and stabbed Frodo. He was CGI, so I'll accept that one.Saruman, kicks Gandalf's ass, creates a fucked up army of demented demon looking iron pumping orcs and orders the slaughtering of women and children. He also does a lot of standing around creepily and talking about doom. Played by an actor.Grima Wormtongue, a cowardly villain who uses manipulation and deception to attempt to destroy an established city based on the promise that he would get to fuck(rape) the King's Daughter after Saurons army murders everyone. Played by an actor.The Witch King of Angmar, an undead, immortal, and horrifying banshee who rides around on a fucking dragon and wields a sword that is extremely poisonous. He is a match for Gandalf in power, and murders the King of Rohan. He has about ten lines over the course of three films, and all of them are whispered creepily. Played by an actor.Okay so the Goblin King sucked.And so did the white Orc.I don't have a problem with the White Orcs existence. In fact it could have been cool. They needed another villain other then Smaug. That's fine. But why is he also entirely CGI? Jesus, you got a giant muscled seven foot tall man and put make-up on him before, why can't you do it again? The white orc practically looks like a buff bald guy with pointy ears, he's barely even as deformed as the other orcs, so why did Jackson make him CGI? Jackson ruined Radagast the Brown and turned him in to a total retard. Every scene that he was in was embarrassing.Sarumans 'mushrooms' joke was fucking awful and cringeworthy.Only half the dwarves actually looked like dwarves, and you never really noticed the size difference like you do in the other LotR movies.The end scene where Thorin hugs Bilbo and they cry it out was beyond gay. Basically Peter Jackson thinks we all turned retarded since Return of the King and decided to slap us in the face with forced emotional moments.All the sets were green screened, and looked bad. In LotR most of the sets looked like real landscape shots, or carefully constructed and modeled sets. Not anymore.This movie just lacked the same meticulous perfectionism that LotR had. It skipped the details, which is devastating because I was hoping that by splitting the movie up into three parts that Jackson would be able to add more detail, and take special care of everything he was doing.He did not. Edited December 15, 2012 by LiveFromNormal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luciusfunk Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 White Orc? Something created for the movie?I'll admit it's been years since I've read any Tolkien, so forgive me, but what is the difference between goblins and orcs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerage5 Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 White Orc? Something created for the movie?I'll admit it's been years since I've read any Tolkien, so forgive me, but what is the difference between goblins and orcs?http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/AzogI'm a little rusty on Tolkien's writings as I haven't read anything in quite a while, but I believe orcs and goblins are essentially synonymous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luciusfunk Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Shit I remember even less of The Hobbit than I thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan H. Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Orcs and Goblins are similar. They call the orcs that live in the mountains 'goblins', but they are essentially the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 Would any of you say it was as bad as Phantom Menace? It's got a rating of 66% on Rotten Tomatoes currently.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bacardimayne Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan H. Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Would any of you say it was as bad as Phantom Menace? It's got a rating of 66% on Rotten Tomatoes currently....God no. It was no where near as bad as The Phantom Menace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sabbath Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Saw it tonight in 3D and throughly enjoyed it. I haven't seen any of the other Lord of the Rings movies, but I guess that doesn't matter since this is a prequel. It was a little boring in some parts, but overall it kept my attention. 3D was used pretty well, also.Don't worry about the fucking ratings, miser. Go see it for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phaeryen Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I went to see it last night aswell and really enjoyed it. I did read some reviews, and this thread, that were quite critical of it which was good, so I came in not expecting the complete awesomeness of the LOTR movies. After a while I kind of accepted the jokes and laughed along with everyone else, didn't do much laughing at the LOTR movies as I remember it being quite gloomy most of the time. This is a much more lighthearted affair. I'm still reluctant to go see 3D movies and was just at a regular 2D show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerage5 Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Shit I remember even less of The Hobbit than I thought.I was thinking the same thing for the whole movie I think I last read it around 2001.Saw it tonight in 3D and throughly enjoyed it. I haven't seen any of the other Lord of the Rings movies, but I guess that doesn't matter since this is a prequel.It was a little boring in some parts, but overall it kept my attention. 3D was used pretty well, also.Don't worry about the fucking ratings, miser. Go see it for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Why is that surprising? He has awful taste Teasing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sabbath Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I've owned them since Black Friday last year, I just haven't gotten around to killing 12 hours and watching them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerage5 Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Why is that surprising? He has awful taste Teasing Valid point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManetsBR Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I just saw The Hobbit and I think it was an amazing film, truly spectacular. After the bad reviews I wasn't expecting much, but I was very surprised, in my opinion it turned out to be a great experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. What, a shot in the arm? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tater Totts Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. Phantom Menace is better than episode 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bacardimayne Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. Phantom Menace is better than episode 2and 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luciusfunk Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I've owned them since Black Friday last year, I just haven't gotten around to killing 12 hours and watching them Watch one disc one night. At work I watched the entire extended trilogy over six nights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. Phantom Menace is better than episode 2In the same way that AIDS is better than Ebola! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luciusfunk Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. Phantom Menace is better than episode 2In the same way that AIDS is better than Ebola! You'd know, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tater Totts Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 the phantom menace was goodIt was the filmic equivalent of HIV. Phantom Menace is better than episode 2In the same way that AIDS is better than Ebola! Everyone says episode 1 is worse because of the immense disappointment it was, the vast majority of episode 2 is far worse and cringeworthy. The whole party with Padme and Anakin on Naboo, the bit with Anakin on Tatooine and him declaring his love for Padme before they are "executed". Janjo Fett being cloned to become the Stormtroopers and that whole subplot was unecessary.Believe me I am not saying episode 1 is good by a long shot, I just thing it is more enjoyable film than episode 2 by far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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