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Sorry Soulie, I hope that you can work something out with your father in law. 

It's actually a profound example of something I've been pondering lately. What do we owe to family members who are a few degrees separated from us? 

Most of us at least try to be respectful and friendly. But, there are times when they demand much more from us. Yet often they are people we barely know, or wouldn't naturally click with in a friendship.

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100% agree and good for you for not following along with the arseholes I've seen that happen and you end up with really bad place for residents.  When I was in university I worked as a domiciled

Well at least we know why Len's not been about for a while.   https://www.ladbible.com/news/uk-depraved-man-who-had-sex-with-chickens-has-jail-term-reduced-20210130?source=facebook&fbclid=IwA

OK this is more of a rant than anything else. I work at a nursing home as a housekeeper. I won't mention the name of the home because of HIPPA. What pisses me off more than anything is the general lac

5 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

Any followers of my sporadic updates will remember I tend to have my mother-in-law staying with us for long periods of time. She has now sold her house and stays with us, and with my wife's sister, permanently. So she switches a bit back and forth between her daughters. Typically, if the tension gets too bad between she and one of her daughters, she will move. I am not really complaining, as far as in-laws go, she is pretty great. She usually stays in her room and she does a little bit of cleaning and helps out with the kids. She is also good at not sticking her nose in things she shouldn't. So I am not complaining. It could be worse.

And here is how it got worse: My father-in-law now stays with us. I don't know if I have told about him before, but he is really supposed to be at his house in Thailand now with his newest Thai wife. He was supposed to travel there last year but Corona stranded him in Dubai (as well as a few other airports), before he gave up and returned to Norway. Unfortunately, by then he had sold off any home and belongings in Norway and had to stay at a relative's cabin without water and electricity. Not ideal in winter so he came to us. He is also out of money by the way (built a swimming pool for his new wife and family back in Thailand and got them a car, you see). His big problem in life -- and only problem as far as I know -- is that he can't get back to Thailand.

My wife has been helping him apply for a visa and stuff, because he has been completely hopeless. Just as incapable as a little child. In fact, he has broken down just thinking about having to apply for a visa and going through the process with a trip to the embassy, and now he is drinking heavily in his bedroom while singing along to Frank Sinatra and terrible country music. Just depressed. And despite my wife doing all the work. He just can't cope with having to go through the process, still does nothing himself. They were in the city yesterday getting some certificates and he snuck off to buy liquor. He was so drunk and depressed yesterday he couldn't stop crying during dinner, but the kids fortunately didn't notice. My wife suggested he go take a walk to get some fresh air, and he walked to the store and bough more beer. I don't know how to help him, either. He just needs to have someone sort out everything for him and put him on a plane. But it will take weeks before he has the visa. 

Jeez. I am so ready to take away his booze the first time he makes a fool of himself in front of the kids.

Would it be silly of me to ask how he was planning to travel there last year without a visa? Also do you possess any firearms? :lol: 

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8 hours ago, Gracii Guns said:

Sorry Soulie, I hope that you can work something out with your father in law. 

It's actually a profound example of something I've been pondering lately. What do we owe to family members who are a few degrees separated from us? 

Most of us at least try to be respectful and friendly. But, there are times when they demand much more from us. Yet often they are people we barely know, or wouldn't naturally click with in a friendship.

That's interesting. I recently went through an experience with my brother where I was ready to sever all connections. My father was hospitalized and my mother was struggling to be alone for the first time in 50 years. I had already spent time with her but I needed to return to my home city because of family and work, so I asked my brother if he could spend some days with her, just to make it easier for her. He refused for no apparent good reason. It was just not something he was willing to do. I couldn't fathom it at the time and I still can't. I was so infuriated and actually thought about just giving him up, entirely. Just admitting to myself that we are so different by nature that there is no point in trying to make the relationship between us work. That was probably me thinking in affect because I was frustrated with the situation and sad. As it turns out, my brother did help my mother in various other ways and took a week to stay with her as our father got worse. In the end, as brothers, going through the whole ordeal with our father actually probably made us stronger, despite that one time when I felt he let us down. I still don't think we have much in common, though.

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8 hours ago, Dazey said:

Would it be silly of me to ask how he was planning to travel there last year without a visa? Also do you possess any firearms? :lol: 

He had a visa last year. The reason he couldn't successfully get into Thailand was because of flights getting cancelled as we was enroute. I mean, he had bought the cheapest tickets and not from one airline, just like, he bought a ticket from Trondheim to Amsterdam with one airline (because it was the cheapest), then from Amsterdam to Paris, or wherever it was, with another airline (because it was the cheapest), then from Paris to Bangkok with yet another airline (because it was the cheapest). So although in theory it would get him from A to B, and save money while doing it, the journey as a whole was disconnected and as soon as the first flight (from Amsterdam to Paris, or something, was cancelled), the other airlines had no responsibility to rebook him, so the whole journey was lost. He then decided to buy single trip to take him closer to his target, resulting in him criss-crossing around Europe and eventually ended up in Dubai. From there he couldn't find a ticket taking him to Bangkok cause by then all airlines had stopped flying there, or something, or maybe he ran out of money. By then he had also spent 5-6 days travelling without ever getting out of an airport and he was of course completely exhausted - poor, old man. So this kind of sapped his will to travel, and live, and his wallet. But he had a visa. It has expired now, though.

Yes, we are Norwegians so somewhere in the house are the components to put together a hunting shotgun. I occasionally rummage through boxes in the basement looking for stuff and come upon ammo or some piece I vaguely believe belongs to a gun. 

Seriously, I believe he will be leaving our house on Monday, though. I think my wife has done all that needs to be done by then, and he just have to wait to get an appointment with the Thai embassy in Oslo. And then, for once, we will not have any visitors, I believe. 

Going with what @Gracii Gunssaid, I don't really feel anything for the man. He has never been really much around. My kids don't really know him -  my youngest asked me what his name was very recently. My wife gave him up ages ago. The bond between him and my family isn't really there. Still, we want our kids to have a good relationship with their granddad and I want my wife to reconnect more with him because I suspect it would be good for her. I think working on the visa application might help the two of them closer. But he is so utterly helpless it makes me feel more annoyed with him than sad for him. I am more inclined to kick his ass than comfort him. He is really putting my humanity on test, here. Because he has never been there for anyone in his family, and now in this period he expects everybody to be there for him. He has been terrible to all his children and by building the house in Thailand it means they won't inherit anything from him, either. And now he sulks in his room while singing along to country music while texting messages to his kids about how he has failed everybody interspersed with messages about how much he loves his new family in Thailand. And he has let everyone down and made amess of everything here in Norway, but then he just needs to start fixing things, yet he chooses to just drink.

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18 hours ago, dontdamnmeuyi2015 said:

Snow has come to Texas!  So damn happy!

got my food and water and staying inside today. The roads are a mess so can't go very far. Texas doesn't have enough sand trucks to do the whole city, so it's best to stay inside.

It does looks so pretty!

So... you finally have snow and you love it, but you're going to stay inside? I mean, I understand not wanting to go anywhere by car, but you can go for a walk or whatever, right?

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2 hours ago, arnold layne said:

My doctor told me I have to quit drinking. 

Which sucks. I don't know if I'm ready.

Why?  Too much consumption or other health issues?

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11 minutes ago, downzy said:

Why?  Too much consumption or other health issues?

I have been off and on treatment for major depression and anxiety since I was sixteen. 

Doctor was a straight shooter. Either take the meds, quit drinking and have a decent chance of normalcy, or keep drinking and stay miserable. 

My current doctor doesn't know this, but I've had alcohol related health issues in the past. This isn't the first time I was told to quit. But it was the first time a doctor was so rudely blunt about it. 

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On 2/14/2021 at 12:43 PM, dontdamnmeuyi2015 said:

Snow has come to Texas!  So damn happy!

got my food and water and staying inside today. The roads are a mess so can't go very far. Texas doesn't have enough sand trucks to do the whole city, so it's best to stay inside.

It does looks so pretty!

This post didn't age well!  :rofl-lol:

How did you make out during the blackouts?

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14 hours ago, Jabberwocky said:

OK this is more of a rant than anything else. I work at a nursing home as a housekeeper. I won't mention the name of the home because of HIPPA. What pisses me off more than anything is the general lack of regard some of the RN's and CNA's have towards our residents (ie patients)

If you are going to go into a medical profession of any sorts, you should have empathy towards people who you swore to take care of. Don't bitch, moan and complain about people who are dependent on you. Don't be mean, aggressive, and talk shit about them behind their backs.

An example. There is a patient up there who I'm very fond of, like a mother figure. The woman came down with COVID and was away in a hospital for over 2 weeks. When she came back, I so wanted to give her a hug but I'm not allowed to touch any patients. The day she came back I told her I missed her she said she missed me too. I get goofy around her just so I can make her laugh too.

Fast forward just one day. We had terrible ice storms here in VA. So I volunteered to stay just in case nobody else from housekeeping could make it. That night I was talking to the 2nd shift nurses and told them how happy I was that she had returned and they looked at me like I was crazy. I asked why? "She's a pain because she rings her call bell" and was calling her a big bed ridden buffalo butt. Yeah she deserves that type of treatment because the poor woman wants some water and tissues. I got pissed about that but since my department is subcontracted I'd get in trouble if I said anything or reported them.

These triffling ass workers get the chance to leave. These residents don't have a choice. So my thing is if you hate the job that much that much, then find another profession and go the fuck on home. Nobody is holding a gun to your head to stay.

OK, now let me put my soapbox away.

Hopefully I never have to put my mum or stepdad in a nursing home but if I do I hope their carers are good honourable folks like yourself. The coworkers you're describing sound like horrible anti-social personalities tbh.

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On 2/28/2021 at 9:59 AM, Oldest Goat said:

Hopefully I never have to put my mum or stepdad in a nursing home but if I do I hope their carers are good honourable folks like yourself. The coworkers you're describing sound like horrible anti-social personalities tbh.

I wouldn't put any of my loved ones in that place I'm at. I don't think they're anti-social because I see most of them at the different nurses station just flapping their gums. There's been a few times I've been by myself in my hall cleaning rooms and hearing my residents yell out "Help I'm sliding out of my chair" and had to do the homebase baseball slide and catch them before they fall and hurt themselves. That's how I found out about the "don't touch the patients" rule. But I mean what was I supposed to do? Let them fall and crack their heads open or something?

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Most doctors and health departments as well as parents, teachers and service workers still want to wear masks and continue to do what the CDC says despite what the moron Gov. Abbott says.

CNN's Anderson Cooper talked to Beto last night and this is what he said:

More people will get the virus

More people will be hospitalized

More people will die!

I said this a long time again and here we go again. it feels like the beginning of the virus again when no one knew what to do. it's a shame that money has to come before people's lives.

There are so many Texans who haven't gotten one vaccine yet and many mayors want to have health workers go door to door to make sure everyone gets vaccinated and Abbott decides it's time to open Texas.

Texas has over 45,000 deaths so far and many patients are still sick in the ICU's.  In two weeks it'll be spring break here in Texas. Here we go agian.

Anyway, stay safe and wear a damn mask.

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16 hours ago, spunko12345 said:

100% agree and good for you for not following along with the arseholes I've seen that happen and you end up with really bad place for residents. 

When I was in university I worked as a domiciled carer going from home to home working with people with learning difficulties, mobility issues etc and some calls would have to be double with another carer as it involved transferring from wheelchair to bed etc. This one prick I was supposed to be meeting at this old guys house at 10pm to get him from chair to bed kept trying to pressure me to go earlier so we could rush him into bed and finish work earlier. I said no and turned up at the proper time of 10pm to find the guy had got there earlier, carried him from wheelchair to bed and fucked off home. Leaving this guy all over the place, not changed his catheter and gave him no choice about what time to go to sleep. He had his routine where he'd watch his tv, have a drink then go to bed but this guy literally just dragged him into bed and fucked all that off.

I reported him anyway and he got fired. He kept sending me weird texts after that trying to be intimidating so I cut that nonsense out and just text him back my address and never heard from the wanker again.

Well in my situation, reporting them would have done me no good since housekeeping is subcontracted out. I work at the home but I'm not an actual employee of the home. That place is skitzo. That place likes to bite my balls off and spit them in my face. I don't if it is because I'm a man or because I'm a male housekeeper. I'd rather it be because my residents like me a lot and talk to them like, ya know, regular human beings. There is one named Lottie who is way into country music. She doesn't like how they refer to her by her last name so I call her LottieDottie (ladi dadi we like to party) and I gave her a few of my old CD-R's with country in it. She really dug it alot
 

What your talking about sounds like, what they call, PCA work, in the states. Basically it's just another name for home health care. I'm with you in hating how people just fuck off to save themselves the time. Just because a patient has some sort of condition or affliction does not make them less than. I know when I tried become a CNA (which I didn't pass the course) it was to help these type of folks. Sometimes I wonder if working in the health care field just leaves people demoralized after awhile?  I know it's not an easy job but that's what these shit heads signed up for. I know it ain't big bucks but come on. Nobody has to be forced to stay at any job or any profession. I mean for fuck's sake, the community college is right next door to the home. Take a course, pass it, and then leave. It's as simple as that.

I know I'm not as high on the totem pole as an actual health provider but when I hear my residents say "You make my room look and smell good to were it doesn't smell like shit" then I feel validated on some level.

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On 2/20/2021 at 4:16 AM, arnold layne said:

I have been off and on treatment for major depression and anxiety since I was sixteen. 

Doctor was a straight shooter. Either take the meds, quit drinking and have a decent chance of normalcy, or keep drinking and stay miserable. 

My current doctor doesn't know this, but I've had alcohol related health issues in the past. This isn't the first time I was told to quit. But it was the first time a doctor was so rudely blunt about it. 

You could try and ease out, having a little less everyday until you don't need it anymore. Cold turkey probably isn't an option when you are basically self medicating to make depression and anxiety somewhat more bareable without the side effects of usual medication. However, both ways to quit require a lot of strength and discipline.

Have you tried other ways to to ease your soul - like changing your diet, connecting with nature, animals, walking the dog, riding a horse, working on a farm, working out, playing an instrument, writing a poem or a novel, making love all night long...whatever rocks your boat other than just numbing out the pain with whatever substance? You are basically just treating one devil (depression) with another (alcohol) and you end up with two devils in the end and get another one (addiction) on top of that.

I don't know what caused your depression, if it's chemical I'd say rather change your diet before taking any drugs, if it's a trauma you need to look at the process of transformation as it might never go away but the times of stability and no breakdowns become longer than those with and you will be in control again. Remember your mind controls everything, even though it might often seem the other way around.

Hard to find good people these days but if you have any open up and ask if you might call em or come over for a cup of coffee in case of mental emergency. The thing is all substances they just alter a state more that is already altered but they dont put you back to "normal", whatever your personal normal is or should be. Pills, alcohol, weed...all these might stop the door from creaking but they dont fix the hinges.

But then again who am I to talk...I'm treating my own depression and suicidal thoughts with loads of weed for years now. I bet I could smoke everyone here under the fucking table and it's nothing I'm proud of, just saying this is how much pain I'm trying to kill. I don't even get high anymore no matrer how much I smoke and whenever I take a tolerance break it seems like I can't function without that crutch. But I know it's just that, a crutch. I'm just too unmotivated, weak, exhausted and lonely to keep going without.

Edited by adamsapple
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What a cute story! one of our local anchor news women was on the street talking about the horrible winter storm week and a kitty cat come by her and was rubbing herself against the woman's legs. She is a tortist shell cat. Anyway, poor thing was cold and they took her to a shelter. She has since gotten her forever home and family. What a great story! Made me smile. It shows there is some good left in the world.

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6 hours ago, SoulMonster said:

The snow is melting, and it's only March!

We had our big thaw last week, which is typical for this time of year.  Last year it snowed on and off until May, which is not typical.  

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