How I found out that my 95 year old Grandpa had listened to Guns N' Roses back in the 1980s!

[gunsnchalupas]

TRIGGER WARNING: (Please note, wifey (my wife) thought I should put a trigger warning here. My Grandfather was from a different time. As such, some of the language he uses is offensive. In order to preserve history, I have tried to use some of the same words he used, but censored them. I lectured him many times about using those words, but you know how it is with elderly people. They are set in their ways. Rather than edit his language and give an untrue telling of this story, I have opted to keep the language as it was, but with stars used to censor the words. I do not condone the use of foul or discriminatory language!)

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My grandfather was a war veteran. He was a tough man, who never smiled but could still make you feel loved with something as simple as his hand on your shoulder. He was the patriarch of our family in the truest sense. He protected us and led us. He was a man crafted from hard times who cared about his steak, whiskey, and family. 

As he got older, I had to assist him to downsize his belongings. My grandmother passed away many years ago so his house was loaded with these boxes of old photographs, and family heirlooms. It took months to go through everything. 

It was almost time for my grandfather to vacate his house, and we only had a few boxes remaining in the basement. While Grandpa unwound upstairs, I went downstairs to sort through the last few boxes. I wondered what relics I might find and how they could teach me about the past. 

Just as I was finishing, there was this enormous box near the back of his basement. This was one of those mammoth triple-layered cardboard boxes utilized to ship electronics in the 70s when we still made things in America. The box was tanned from decades of basement filth, but it had not been opened in a very long time. I am a strong guy, but I struggled to move it. As I moved it, it tipped over. I was stunned to see what fell out.

Laying across the floor of my grandfather's basement, was dozens of pairs of assless chaps. Every variety. Black ones, tan ones, suede ones. There were even plaid assless chaps! Not wanting my grandfather to know what I had discovered, I quickly tried to put them back in the box. The noise must have startled my Grandfather because I could hear him call my name from the top of the stairs. I moved quicker, as his cane clicked and clacked down each stair.

I put the last pair of assless chaps back in the box, but it was too late. I turned around and saw my 95-year-old grandfather staring back at me. You have to keep in mind that I am a left-leaning male. I voted for Obama in 08. But this was my grandfather. A man calloused by life, I could never envision that he would carry such a strange and erotic secret.

"It used to....it used to not be for f*gs." he belted out, coughing between words.

I replied, lecturing him about how we don't call them that anymore, and his nephew Bruce, or Bruce's partner Cassius would be very hurt to hear him talk like that about homosexuals. 

"Don't give me that shit...you know I don't hate f*gs", he said sternly. 

He continued, "I'm not a f*gg*t. Those treasures in that box, those weren't for f*gs. Those were for real men."

Understanding that my grandfather must have been embarrassed at me uncovering his past secret life, I nodded. 

"Look at the..." Haerrrreggggg, he coughed, not covering his mouth as germs and saliva exited his body and flew in my general direction.

"Look at the date on that box. March 1985....that's how you know your Grandpa isn't a f*g."

I lectured him again about using that word, but he ignored my pleas. 

"See, back before March 1985, real men used to wear assless chaps. You know those stories I told you, me carrying your uncle on my shoulders in 'Nam as those g**ks hid in the shadows waiting to shoot me with shit-covered darts? As I carried his wounded body, I was wearing assless chaps, like a real fucking man."

"Have you ever looked at the wedding photos? Go back, look at the wedding photos with me and your Grandmother, I'm wearing assless chaps. Do you think your Grandmother would have married me if they were for f*gs back then?"

He spent what felt like hours lecturing me about how all the great men in history wore assless chaps. Gengas Khan, Lou Thesz, Mr. Rogers. The list went on. 

Grandpa explained that real men could no longer wear them after 1985 because some f*gg*t named Axl stole them. He wore them on stage for some LA shit metal band with his hair teased up and makeup, like a girl. Then his band became the most famous shit metal band in the world. "From that point on, the country decided that assless chaps were only to be worn by f*gs".

He continued to explain that he no longer was able to wear assless chaps without people mistaking him for a homosexual. But he had worn them for so many milestones in his life, that he could not bear to give them up. He kept them down here, tucked away, hoping one day that it would no longer be considered gay to wear assless chaps. He dreamed of a world where maybe he could pass on his assless chaps to me, and I would wear them throughout the same milestones that he wore them for. 

At that moment, feeling immense empathy for what this box of assless chaps meant to my grandfather, I took off my pants and pulled the first pair of assless chaps out of the box. It was a pair of fringe-adorned assless chaps. They had my grandfather's initials in the back corner. 

I looked my grandfather in the eye, feeling immense pride in helping him realize his dream. For my entire life, I loved my Grandfather but always felt there was a distance between us. For that moment, for the first time, I felt that distance evaporate. I looked my Grandpa in the eye and told him I would honor him by proudly wearing his assless chaps.

Looking back at me, my Grandfather grunted. 

"Take those off, you look like a f*gg*t."

Edited November 15 by gunsnchalupas

[gunsnchalupas]

Honestly, I get that in the 1980s guys wore makeup and assless chaps regularly to get chicks, but I think it flew over my grandfathers head and he assumed Axl wearing makeup meant that he was a homosexual. 

While this story is very crude, it really shows us how much dissension there can be between generations. I was completely unaware how common assless chaps were prior to the 1980s. Although, I think it was more of a geographical niche. Maybe it was a Montana thing that didn't spread to parts of other countries. 

Ultimately, while I dislike his use of crude language and slurs, I am glad that in his final days I could learn so much from him and uncover parts of his life that I otherwise would have never found out about. 

Yes, I still have the box of assless chaps. No, I don't wear them. He wouldn't let me. I tried to convince him to let me wear them at his funeral as a tribute, but he told me that he didn't want people thinking his only Grandson was a homosexual. While I was flabbergasted at him not realizing that the entire world didn't think Axl Rose was a homosexual, I took wifey (my wife)'s advice and left it at that. 

[MaskingApathy]

Wut

[Dean]

That's enough internet for me today. Happy Friday!

[t-p-d-a]

"Papaya?" the old man offered, holding out the fruit with a toothless grin. His eyes twinkled with mischief as the young boy stared at him suspiciously.

[gunsnchalupas]

On 11/15/2024 at 5:15 AM, Dean said:

That's enough internet for me today. Happy Friday!

He was a very proud man. 

I wish my Grandmother was still alive so that I could confirm whether or not his story is true. I called my great uncle shortly after and asked him about it, he acted confused and spoke what sounded like yiddish (we aren't Jewish so it was a surprise). I'm unsure if I caught him on a bad day and his memory lapsed.

[Tomek1985]

marry Karice

[D4NNY]

 

[©GnrPersia]

[dontdamnmeuyi2015]

My mom is 70 years old and GNR has been her favorite band since the 80's. Still listens to them as well as mostly rock and metal bands. Just because you get older doesn't mean you can't still listen to the music you have always loved. She even has posters of GNR.

[Karice]

4 hours ago, Tomek1985 said:

marry Karice

He's already married, and apparently his Wife tells him he spends way too much time on "That Guns N' Roses Website." 🤣🤭

[gunsnchalupas]

19 hours ago, D4NNY said:

 

My Grandpa would be proud to see masculine men taking back the assless chaps from Axl Rose. It's too bad that diabetes got him before this day came. RIP. 

[dontdamnmeuyi2015]

3 hours ago, gunsnchalupas said:

My Grandpa would be proud to see masculine men taking back the assless chaps from Axl Rose. It's too bad that diabetes got him before this day came. RIP. 

My mom is type 2 diabetic. So was my Poppy. She seems to be taking after  him,

[Tom-Ass]

Are you sure that you aren't the closeted "f*g?" They are just called chaps and 99% of people know their purpose and that they are generally worn over jeans. You really seemed to enjoy needlessly typing "assless" 100 times.. 

There have been a lot of retarded posts here over the years, but this one might take the cake. 

[gunsnchalupas]

12 minutes ago, Tom-Ass said:

Are you sure that you aren't the closeted "f*g?" They are just called chaps and 99% of people know their purpose and that they are generally worn over jeans. You really seemed to enjoy needlessly typing "assless" 100 times.. 

There have been a lot of retarded posts here over the years, but this one might take the cake. 

They are still assless if you wear them over jeans. 

Not that there is anything wrong with being attracted to men, but look at my avatar, do I look like a homosexual?

[Tom-Ass]

2 hours ago, gunsnchalupas said:

They are still assless if you wear them over jeans. 

Not that there is anything wrong with being attracted to men, but look at my avatar, do I look like a homosexual?

yes you do...  and all chaps are "assless"...  They are still just called chaps

[gunsnchalupas]

5 minutes ago, Tom-Ass said:

yes you do...  and all chaps are "assless"...  They are still just called chaps

 

I have them in storage but never wore them because even if I might look cool, there are a lot of parks near where I am so I'd be afraid of it being seen as me doing it for gratification rather than just being a take no prisoners cowboy.

So you're telling me if I have the assless ones, I can wear something under them and people won't think it's weird? Like I can wear trackpants and put the assless chaps over them so that my ass isn't showing? This might make more sense. 

Also, I appreciate you helping me out because you seem to have a lot of knowledge about leather gear like this. I'm not a leather enthusiast so it's all new to me. I gave you two rose emoticons to show you we're cool. 

Edited November 18 by gunsnchalupas

[evilfacelessturtle]

I just have one question. Who is this "wifey" you keep mentioning?

[evilfacelessturtle]

5 hours ago, Tom-Ass said:

Are you sure that you aren't the closeted "f*g?" They are just called chaps and 99% of people know their purpose and that they are generally worn over jeans. You really seemed to enjoy needlessly typing "assless" 100 times.. 

There have been a lot of retarded posts here over the years, but this one might take the cake. 

Somebody is easily triggered. Lighten up, Francis.

[gunsnchalupas]

1 hour ago, evilfacelessturtle said:

I just have one question. Who is this "wifey" you keep mentioning?

It is my pet name for my wife. Sorry, I usually clarify that so that because not everybody is going to know who I am referring to when I use my pet name for her. 

[evilfacelessturtle]

2 hours ago, gunsnchalupas said:

It is my pet name for my wife. Sorry, I usually clarify that so that because not everybody is going to know who I am referring to when I use my pet name for her. 

Please be more clear in the future.

[gunsnchalupas]

6 hours ago, Tom-Ass said:

yes you do...  and all chaps are "assless"...  They are still just called chaps

I just realized your username has the word Ass in it.

Is this a gimmick, are you trolling me? What is your fascination with asses?

[Karice]

18 hours ago, gunsnchalupas said:

It is my pet name for my wife. Sorry, I usually clarify that so that because not everybody is going to know who I am referring to when I use my pet name for her. 

Don't worry. EVERYONE knows a Wifey means your Wife. The other Poster was just trolling..💡

[gunsnchalupas]

58 minutes ago, Karice said:

Don't worry. EVERYONE knows a Wifey means your Wife. The other Poster was just trolling..💡

 

I think he might have just been a bit confused but well meaning. People don't troll on GNR forums. Too much is at stake. 

[SoulMonster]

39 minutes ago, gunsnchalupas said:

I think he might have just been a bit confused but well meaning. People don't troll on GNR forums. Too much is at stake. 

Err, if Axl says someone was trolling, then someone was trolling. Show some respect to the man.