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16 Rules for Garage Rock


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1. Tuning an instrument is to "ruin the feeling"

2. All the photo shoots your band do has to be done in front of a shabby, graffiti sprayed brick wall, or on a garbage dump.

3. Never wash your Mc5 and The Sonics t-shirts.

4. The Libertines saved the world.

5. The Strokes were good only before they became "the saviours of rock'n'roll".

6. The Strokes are gay.

7. Your girlfriend has to be even more ugly than you are.

8. At least 50% of your songs HAVE to be rip-offs from different garage rock bands from the 60's.

9. All you do at a concert is smoking.

10. Never admit that you grew up in a nice little suburb.

11. If anyone calls the music you are playing "punk", beat him up

12. If anyone calls the music you are playing "pre-punk", give him a six-pac and invite him to your van.

13. A good guitar solo contains at the most three notes.

14. Everyone who have bigger sideburns than you have, is worth your respect.

15. The Rolling Stones could have been a great band if they had not become so big.

16. And most important of all: Union Carbide Productions - In The Air Tonight, is the best rock-album made after 1975, and Cartoon Animal might be the best song ever made.

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