Jump to content

Ten Commandments of Post-Grunge


krissirge

Recommended Posts

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF POST GRUNGE

1. If your singer sounds in even the slightest bit different from Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, throw him out.

2. Never choose a name that has more than one word in it, and seriously doubt anything with more than one syllable.

3. Said name should not have any meaning, and does not even have to be spelled right.

4. At least half your albums MUST be soundtracks to blatantly overhyped superhero movies and ripped of from old Seal songs of other blatantly overhyped superhero movies.

5. Never hesitate to stuff your religious beliefs up your idiot public's collective nose, and then spend even less time hesitating to pass it of as "spiritual".

6. Forget rule number 5 if said religion should happen to be anything other than Christianity.

7. Kurt Cobain is your god, but never try to be influenced by, say, his charisma, his destructive personallity or indeed his musical craftsmanship.

8. Attitude or charisma does not sell. Hackneyed lyrical clichés and generic B-brand classic rock does (sadly).

9. If your guitarist does not play a PRS guitar through a Line 6 amplifier, fire him.

10. Jeez, I seriously can't even think of a tenth one. How much more boring can these guys get if I can?t think of ten lousy points on which to diss them?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...