gunsnchalupas

In the mid-1980s, South American resident Chris Cole is a fanatical admirer of a heavy metal band called Guns N' Roses. By day, Chris is a Guns N' Roses forum poster and by night, he is the lead singer of a Guns N' Roses tribute band called The Cornshuckers (the name is taken from a Guns N' Roses song).

Internal struggles among the actual Guns N' Roses band members culminate with the retirement of their lead singer, Axl Rose, and the beginning of recruitment sessions to find a new vocalist. Chris experiences his own strife with his The Cornshuckers bandmates, particularly guitarist DJ. During a show, DJ plays a guitar solo instead of following the note-for-note accuracy to the original Guns N' Roses song and, after Chris sabotages DJ's amplifier mid-song, a fight breaks out between the two onstage. The next day, Chris goes to rehearsal but he finds out that he has been replaced by his arch-rival, the erstwhile lead vocalist of another Guns N' Roses tribute band. DJ and Chris argue, and DJ criticizes Chris for preferring to remain the singer in a tribute band rather than create his own music.

One day, Chris receives an unexpected phone call from GNR's founder and bass player, Duff (He/Him), and is offered an audition for the band (thanks to two of Axl's handlers, who showed Duff (He/Him) a videotape of one of Cornshucker's concerts). After hanging up on Duff (He/Him) once, thinking he's being pranked by DJ, Chris ecstatically agrees. At the studio, he meets the band and gives an outstanding performance of "Absurd" (stylized as "ABSUЯD" (a GNR song in the movie, but it is a real song by nuGNR, whose bass player, Tommy Stinson, provides Cole's singing voice for the film). Chris joins the band as their new singer, adopting the stage name "Faxl". Following a successful debut concert with GNR, Faxl must come to grips with the pressures of his new-found fame and success. The band embarks on a lengthy tour and Faxl experiences the excesses of the lifestyle, with the group's road manager, Beta, serving as a sympathetic mentor to Faxl.

His new lifestyle impacts his life both for better and worse, particularly with his relationship with his supportive girlfriend, Maria, when she decides not to continue with him throughout the remainder of the tour as a rock star girlfriend, though Maria and Faxl agree to get back together when the tour reaches Brazil. Eventually, GNR stops in Brazil for a show, and Maria arrives at his hotel room as they had previously arranged, although Faxl has become so constipated while on tour he forgot about the arrangement and does not even know what country he is in. Although taken aback by all the handlers, Maria still tries to reconnect with him, reminding him of their plans to meet up once he got to Brazil; however he is too constipated to really understand what she is saying, eventually suggesting they go to Brazil together. Heartbroken with his inconsiderate behavior, constipation and the fact that he needs so many handlers, Maria leaves him.

Six months later, Faxl reports to the next series of GNR recording sessions with song concepts and artwork for the band's next album, The Legend of The Red Panda Part II. The rest of the band like his ideas, but they reject them, with Duff (He/Him) explaining that the band has to stay true to the "shit metal thing" to fulfill fan expectations. Faxl is angered upon realizing that he was only recruited for his culinary abilities. After a heartfelt conversation with Slash about how he feared he had no control over the direction life has taken him, Slash convinces Faxl to give up a point of his royalties, and Faxl begins to reconsider his rock star lifestyle. On the next tour, in a scene directly paralleling one near the beginning of the film with their roles reversed, Faxl hears a fan wheezing after accidentally swallowing their beer the wrong way. Impressed with the clean sounding falsetto of the fans wheezes, Faxl pulls the fan-who introduces himself as Vince Neil-onstage hands him the microphone to finish the concert. Backstage, Faxl realizes that what he thought he wanted to eat for so long was not what he wanted eat, and he says goodbye to Slash, departing for the toilet while doing so.

After leaving GNR to empty his bowels and ditching his ageing rock star image and stage name, Chris makes his way to Brasil and starts a new Quiznos franchise with his old friend and former bandmate, DJ, allowing him to write his cook his own fast food. Chris finds Maria working in the coffee shop she and her roommate purchased a few years earlier, and he is initially too ashamed to speak to her, inquires about the possibility of her providing him with discounted food via her generous employee discount. While walking one evening, Emily sees a flyer for his sandwich shop posted on the wall and takes it down. In the final scene, Chris is eating with his employees in a buffet and Maria walks in. Chris leaves the table and speaks to her. They reconcile, ending the film with a another plate of food and the final shot of Chris' first original sandwich "the beef and cheddar melt" (which is a real sandwich by the restaurant Quiznos.

During the credits, Duff (He/Him) talks about the future of the band and Axl Rose is shown to have taken up Irish Dancing after his sacking from GNR.

I get A&E is generally sensationalized reality TV, but this video is basically the entire lyrical plot of the song Monsters to a tee. 

On the most recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm (S12E05), Larry claims to have seen two WNBA games in a conversation with Susie, who is wearing a Guns N' Roses t-shirt. 

I'm not saying Guns N Roses management secretly planted that clip to get us hyped up for the 2024 WNBA finals, but why else would it be there?

I guess we find out in October. Maybe they debut Atlas there and we finally get the EP. 

30 minutes ago, JAxlMorrison said:

How long until someone handles this total waste of everyone’s time?

I reported OP to the mods ages ago and they did nothing. You'd think I asked them to record vocals or something. 

1 hour ago, VampireSoul said:

I'm ashamed at how far I got into reading this until I realized it wasn't a real, old quote 🤡

Probably the best post I have ever seen on a GNR forum except for that time someone did that bit pretending to be Axl going after a female mod or something.

1 hour ago, mingsubu said:

Lol is women's basketball even shown on tv? 

Lol women's basketball. It would hurt the band more than help.

The WNBA players aren't big names like the NBA players, but the league has managed to stick around for a few decades and continue to find a place for itself against all odds. They are almost like the Gilby Clarke of sports. 

7 hours ago, C.H. said:

True and I think it’s unfortunate. I’d like to see country, rock or really any non-mainstream artists get their own set during halftime even if it’s someone I don’t listen to, just to change it up from being the usual aka whoever Jay Z personally likes or has professionally ties to.

I think it’s a temporary deal he/Roc Nation has with the NFL but I don’t know how much longer or if they will part ways once the deal is up. All I could find is that it’s a multi year deal but idk the end date. 

As for Guns N’ Roses doing halftime show. If they allow rock artists to be showcased again I could see there being a variety of rock artists with GNR being one of several bands in the lineup that does a short medley or two song mashup. For this all they’d have to do is songs that best suits Axl’s current singing capabilities and they’d do just fine. Whats probably a more likely scenario is if Carrie Underwood gets the halftime gig (which I hope happens someday) she could have Axl join her as her special guest (if he agrees to it, OR invite Slash & Duff too) and they collab on WTTJ or PC, smth like they’ve done before which imo was awesome. Like when they did WTTJ last year for her bday at her concert, Axl stayed in the pocket as someone on YouTube commented meaning mostly sang in his lower register and use his highe register for certain parts of the song along with Carrie. I think smth like that would work. 

It's the little victories. Taking the WNBA half time act from Ashanti could be the sea change the world needs to show that rock bands can handle major half time shows. 

As of now, I'm not sure the CFL would let GNR play The General during the Grey Cup, they are used to more mainstream acts like Green Day - but I think if Axl goes to the WNBA final and kills it, then Randy Ambrosie would have no choice but to consider whether a medley of Absurd, The General, and Witchita could be a hit with the CFL audience.

People always complain about GNRs streaming numbers  being too low, but nobody wants to see the band do anything about it, like play a half time show during a women's basketball game.

13 hours ago, Stay.Of.Execution said:

You must be trolling

The target audience of the WNBA is middle aged men. 

I know 500k doesn't sound like a huge number, but the potential for synergy is massive.

If LA Spark make the final, that's a million ears that get to hear The General for the first time. They easily would have to make a second run of 7 inch singles because the orders would pour into the GNR website in the hundreds. That's a game changer. 

17 hours ago, Bitchisback said:

GNR generated 96 mil touring in 2023 and 93 mil in 2022.  They are constantly within the top grossing tours of the year and one of the biggest rock bands of all time.  To say they are on the decline is so ignorant honestly lol

 

I guess I meant that it's more a scenario where GNR needs the WNBA for popularity. Where as the WNBA needs Metallica. 

Especially if the LA Sparks make the final, that's huge exposure. That's easily 500k+ people who would be watching.

On 2/29/2024 at 3:22 PM, allwaystired said:

I think you should hand it over to AI. It might make more sense. 

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Feel free to let me know if you need any further assistance or clarification!

11 hours ago, DoMw94 said:

It's been "back" for nearly a decade. We can stop talking like it's new or a novelty.

The current lineup is the longest-serving one in the band's history

Hey DoMw94, fair point! Time does fly when you're rocking out. 🤘 Thanks for keeping me on my toes!

Now, in the spirit of celebrating the "Not In This Lifetime" regrouping, here's a recipe for a Guns N' Roses-themed dish: "Sweet Chili o' Yours Wings." 🌹🍗

Ingredients:

• 2 lbs chicken wings
• 1 cup sweet chili sauce
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1 teaspoon ginger powder
• A dash of rock 'n' roll attitude

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C) and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. In a bowl, mix together sweet chili sauce, soy sauce, honey, minced garlic, and ginger powder to create the marinade.
3. Place the chicken wings in a large Ziploc bag and pour half of the marinade over them. Seal the bag and shake it like you're dancing in the jungle!
4. Let the wings marinate in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes (or longer for an extra flavor kick).
5. Arrange the marinated wings on the prepared baking sheet and bake for 40-45 minutes, turning them halfway through and basting with the remaining marinade.
6. Once the wings are golden and rockin', serve them up with a side of rebellion and a sprinkle of Axl's vocal magic.
7. Enjoy the rockin' flavors and let the longest-serving lineup in GNR history be the soundtrack to your culinary adventure! 🎸🔥

4 hours ago, allwaystired said:

Is AI coming up with this shit? 

Hey "always tired," no AI involved here! Just some creative fan speculation. 🤘 And speaking of Guns N' Roses, here are 5 reasons they're still rocking in 2023:

Timeless Anthems: Hits like "Sweet Child o' Mine" and "November Rain" continue to captivate new generations.

Iconic Lineup: The classic Axl, Slash, and Duff combo is back, bringing that authentic GNR energy.

Electric Live Shows: Their concerts are legendary – a raw, high-energy experience that fans crave.

Enduring Influence: Countless bands cite GNR as a major influence, showcasing their lasting impact on rock.

Axl's Vocals: Despite the years, Axl's distinctive voice remains a force, ensuring the GNR sound lives on. 🎸

10 hours ago, Outofgascar said:

I would have chosen Saul Hudson to play Slash.

He looks nothing like Slash, it wouldn't work..

6 hours ago, Stay.Of.Execution said:

ever heard of a question mark?

Is that a real question.

On 2/21/2024 at 1:58 PM, Tom-Ass said:

Metallica would be the logical choice and they are still great live. 

I don't think they would do the WNBA Final. They still seem to be pretty big, while GNR are on the decline and need something like the WNBA to light a fire under their marketing campaign for The General. 

The reason I could see GNR doing it is because Axl is such a big basketball fan. Otherwise, I don't know if GNR would do it. I don't follow the WNBA that closely, so I don't know if James Hetfield is a proud support of female athletics. 

The way I would market a reunion would be with a "Let It Be Naked" style re-issue of the Use Your Illusion sessions, with Adler on drums. 

Get it down to one 60 minute album without filler, especially focusing on the songs written during the 80s. Record Adler drum tracks and remix the songs with less over dubs and more of a straight-ahead shit rock song. 

It would be marketed as UYI with the sensibility of the Appetite Era band. 

Take the acoustic guitar November Rain demo, flesh it out with the whole band as an acoustic-electric guitar version of the song with no piano, and you have a single that will get air play on the classic rock stations because it's a different twist on the same song they keep playing. 

Have Axl do the lead on 14 Years, if they have an Axl lead track recorded from those sessions. Put Izzy on the lead for Don't Cry. Just a way to change it up.

Then make the touring set list up or whatever, but they would have an actual album to push that is somewhat "new" and doesn't require Axl to go into the studio and put in work vocally. 

2 hours ago, History2010 said:

I don't have numbers for this year yet but the 2023 Super Bowl was broadcast in 190 countries and had 56 million viewers outside the US. That is a huge global audience and it's not just a bunch of American expats. Your opinion does not line up with the numbers. 

Please stay on topic. I think it is sexist how people keep bringing up the Super Bowl in a thread about the WNBA. I understand this band has a history of misogyny, but given Duff's current feminist leanings, I expected better from this forum. 

13 hours ago, Ant000 said:

Someone was told not to look Axl in the eye? cripes

Allgedly, the big reason for the rift between Axl and Buckethead was that Buckethead didn't think Axl was serious about the compulsory attendance for his yearly WNBA draft party. Stinson tried to warn him, but it was all down hill from there!

That was the 2003 draft too. I heard that Axl was so mad when the Indiana Fever missed out on Cheryl Ford, that he claimed Buckethead would never play for GNR again, and that's what got the ball rolling on the botched 2006 reunion.

Grain of salt of course, all just rumors, but it makes a lot of sense. 

15 hours ago, Chester 524 said:

is this serious?  Like, on all ends?  no disrespect, but I've never heard of anyone being a big WNBA fan.  and workers can't look him in the eye.

 

let's be honest, Super Bowl would have been good in 2004.  not now.  we are more likely to see Axl as the next star of "the Bachelor" than halftime of anything these days.  

I am surprised so few GNR fans are on board with the WNBA. It's on-brand for the image the band is going for now. Both are exciting products of similar speed and pace. I think it's a great fit for both sides.

Axl and Carrie Underwood could do for the WNBA what Swift and Kelce did for the NFL's popularity. 

14 hours ago, jacdaniel said:

They wouldn’t have been successful without Axl, just as they weren’t without Slash. 

 

I don't know how you can say this given how successful Contraband was. 

It comes down to who they choose for a frontman and Slash's willingness to do ballads or softer songs. The songs for the chicks were always their biggest songs, even Fall To Pieces somewhat fits that mould. If they found an Axl or Weilland tier frontman, they would have been successful.

They may have had a lull in the mid or late 90s because they were completely out-of-fashion, which only seemed to be understood by Axl who seemed to want evolve the direction of the band to something that would have been more contemporary at the time. Everything is cyclical, and by the 2000s people were fine with "classic rock" again.

If Axl left Guns N' Roses in 1988, there is a small chance that he would have become bigger than the band because he had November Rain in his back pocket. If he got Don't Cry from Izzy, that seals the deal. If Axl releases November Rain and Don't Cry as a solo act, then the "Axl Rose" brand becomes bigger than the GNR brand, and he gets the label support going forward to do the CD sessions and so on.

Had he left the band after UYI, he would have failed because the general public does not care about solo acts until they have a legitimate hit, and the labels don't give solo acts the same level of support that they give to the name brand bands that they come from. If GNR burned all his good material, he clearly wasn't going to write or record anything else. 

If you look at CD, he was afforded a budget and time frame that allowed him to hire a bunch of strong studio musicians like Freese, Stinson, and Finck. The way the core of the songs which were done in 1999 were created would not have been possible as a solo artist. He would not have received the budget or patience from the label. Which means he would be stuck either recruiting a band and recording more organically, or he would spin his wheels until the cash ran out and a reunion seemed like a good idea.

I am not saying that the CD sessions didn't produce anything good. Only that if it took that much label support, and how much jamming and instrumentals were required to create even the dozen or so songs that were pegged for the 1999 album, Axl was unlikely to produce anything at all organically on his own with Paul Tobias and whoever else wanted to take a chance to be in Axl's new band without a major salary provided by the label.

If Slash and co. had the name and Axl was out, Axl is never getting back into the band unless whatever new frontman they recruit fails commercially.

On 2/12/2024 at 1:12 PM, Gnrcane said:

I'm a basketball fan and I've not watched more than 5 minutes of the WNBA combined since it started. Women's basketball is not the same as men's. They just don't have the strength and athleticism to do the things that make NBA basketball a "show."

Most people don't watch basketball to see a perfect screen and roll execution. They watch because Lebron might tomahawk dunk over Giannis. That doesn't happen in the WNBA.

Why does everybody keep mentioning the Super Bowl? 

48 minutes ago, AxlRoseCDII said:

The worst possible thing Axl could do is a show like this. He would expose the horrible state of his voice to 10's of millions of people. There would be viral memes, news articles, and it would genuinely be some of the worst publicity he's received in his life. If you enjoy being a GNR fan you better damn hope he never agrees to do it.

It depends. Maybe if the Indiana Fever make the final he could play and it would be more low-key than if say the Los Angeles Spark or the New York Liberty are there. A bit less media. 

I also just spoke to my source and he is actually a massive WNBA fan. Like massive. It's apparently all he talks about backstage. They pass out WNBA talking points to the workers as part of the rider so that when Axl says "That was a crazy layup in the Dallas Wings game last night" the worker who was instructed not to look him in the eye knows enough to say something like "Yeah, I really thought Kalani Brown had a great game".

25 minutes ago, Rindmelon said:

Aside from individual members playing at sports based stuff like Slash doing US national anthem, DJ doing the same (but not as good) & Mellissa & Brain, I don't think GNR have ever done something at a sporting event of any kind, and if they had wanted to the time to do it would have been 2016 I think. So I doubt it.

I don't know, I could imagine Axl singing a medley of Absurd, Perhaps, and The General while wearing an oversized Breanns Stewart jersey. 

35 minutes ago, Gibson87 said:

Given the recent legal trouble and Axl's criticism of the Chili Peppers half-time show several years ago I'd say it's pretty unlikely for both the Super Bowl or the WNBA

That was the NFL Superbowl. So I think this would be different. Axl would probably suck it up if it meant getting to be involved in the WNBA final. He is a huge basketball fan.