Beat Poet

I haven't stood around like this boiling water in a pan since Chemistry at school.

Argh God dammit, Billy Connolly has had surgery for prostate cancer and has been diagnosed with the initial stages of Parkinson's.

God dammit, Chinatown is a first class film, Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway are brilliant.

The camera at the sound desk at the Roundhouse barely captures the band above the crowd, which proves what a poor venue it is in which to stand and watch gigs. Took a vow back in 2011 never to return.

It smelt like someone took a shit in the self-service area in Tescos tonight...and it wasn't me.

Why are people racing to get the FIFA 14 demo? It's no doubt just the same as the last ten FIFAs, except it has this season's squads.

One of the neighbours (or a friend of a neighbour) has a Citroën Xsara Picasso...every time it pulls up I think "Chaz has forgotten the f***ing trailer!".

You ever get one of those scenarios when music is blazing out of your computer and you can't find where in the hell it's coming from? You're like "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!!".

If there's one update I'd like Twitter to make, it'd be the ability to delegate accounts, like in Gmail. Sick of logging out and in.

Slash'd gig tonight, Guns All Roses gig tomorrow, Drum Tracks Direct going crazy...my shoulders are in knots!

Oh God, my stomach is in knots...I'll blame it on Roy's driving and Henrik's fairy cakes.

This is brilliant England, ripping through that Aussie top order when they seemed set!

Green Day at O2 Academy Brixton sounds tempting, but nah, too much happening with Slash'd. Saw GD at The O2 and it wasn't very satisfying, never seen a great gig there.

Just remembered that it's the final day of the PGA Championship, but it's of little interest because as always, the British golfers have blown up.

BRAIDS at Electrowerkz will be my first and at this stage, only gig of the year. Really can't be bothered seeing bands anymore, especially when most of the crowd are talking or on their phones.

Geoffrey Boycott on Test Match Special during the rain delay which will probably see England retain The Ashes..."I'm so sorry for Australia, the tears are streaming down me face".

Bloody hell, Geoffrey Boycott sounds like he's struggling after lunch.

Thank God, test match cricket and Test Match Special is back. First morning of the third test and it sounds like Geoffrey Boycott has started on the sauce already.

A penalty in the last minute for Championship football next season and Marcello Trotta blasts it against the bar. Donny run up the other end and score, to go up.

Beady Eye's new album is titled "BE"? Dear oh dear!

It's like the summer of 2012 again, except I'm not cramming for Guns All Roses...it's Slash'd.

Last minute penalty converted by Sam Saunders, up into the automatic places in Football League One, YOUUUU BEES!!

Just started playing Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday on the Megadrive. Stone cold classic!

Amusement Parks On Fire are supporting The Joy Formidable at den Atelier in Luxembourg City tonight. God dammit, the best pairings are never in this country.

Are the BBC for real? Every time I stick the telly on on a Saturday night, by default it goes to BBC One and Mrs. Brown's Boys is on. Miranda is bad enough.