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Metalheads save the princess


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sorry if posted before...found this on an Estonian site and translated it

SITUATION:a gorgeus princess has been imprisoned in a castle tower that is guarded by a evil dragon.And here are different possible knightly-heroic endings to this story for different metal style fans.

POWER METAL:The hero arrives on a white unicorn,escapes from the dragon,frees the princess from the tower and they make love in an enchanted magic forest

THRASH METAL:Hero arrives,kill the dragon,saves the princess and fucks her,fast and hard

HEAVY METAL:Hero arrives on a "Harley",kills the dragon,drinks a little beer and fucks the princess

FOLK METAl:Hero arrives in the company of friends,who play violins,flutes,zithers and other similar instruments,tired from dancing the dragons falls asleep.Afterwards they all leave...without the princess

VIKING METAL:Hero arrives on a viking boat(drakkar),kills the dragon with his mighty axe,skins it and eats it,rapes the princess to death,picks up all his jewels and other valuables and when he leaves,he torches the castle

DEATH METAL:Hero arrives,kills the dragon,fucks the princess,kills the princess and leaves

BLACK METAL:Hero arrives at midnight,kills the dragon and stakes it on a pole in the front of the castle.Afterwards does sodomy on the princess,performs The Dark Ritual by drinking the princesses blood and kills the princess then.Then stakes the princess beside the dragon.

GORE METAL:Hero arrives,kills the dragon and throws its intestines wide at the entrance of the castle,fucks the princess and kills it.Afterwards fucks the corpse of the princess,cut her belly open and muches on her intestines.The fucks her,torches her body and fucks her again.

DOOM METAL:Hero arrives,see the size of the dragon and realises that he could never beat him;falls to a depression and kill himself.Dragon eats the hero and eats the princess for dessert.This is how this sad story ends

PROGRESSIVE METAL:Hero arrives with a guitar and perform a 26 minute solo.Dragon kills itself out of boredom.Hero arises from the stairs to the princesses bedroom and plays another solo,usiong all the moves he learned at the conservatoriums final semester.Princess escaps,looking for a hero who drives a "Harley" and listens to HEAVY METAL

GLAM METAL:Hero arrives,dragon cant stop laughing after seeing him and lets him into the castle.Hero steals the princesses make-up bag and tries to paint the castle pink.

GRINDCORE:Hero arrives,flails his hands for a few minutes and screams something impossible to understand,then leaves.

NU METAL:Hero arrives with an old Honda Civic and tries to fight the dragon,but burns alive,because his ridicully large pants burn easily from the dragons flames

INDUSTRIAL METAL:Hero arrives with an old cape,makes a whole lot of indecent moves towards the dragon and the guards throw him out of Fiarytaleland.

now that was some long typing

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