Redhead74

Just being real man, these placeses actual value is in discussion and you need a contrary position for that, otherwise its just a dispassionate list of opinions.

Everytime im told not to be contrary i recede to the behaviour of a four year old

Just not a contrary position coming from me because then the 'obvious 4' come out for a bully bash.

I also like polishing my shoes, ironing my clothes and drinking red wine.

these are not hobbies, but obsessive-compulsive disorder enhanced with alcoholism

kidding i share some of those hobbies myself

Hahaha! I don't do them at the same time! But I do do them all on a regular basis. I'm sure one day I'll do them all simultaneously.

I am female after all, multi tasking comes naturally.

I make stuff, pull it apart and then put it back together again. I do it for work and I do it in my spare time too.

And I collect stuff. Emilio Pucci scarves, Hermes scarves, vintage Vogue magazines and fabric. Lots of fabric. And shoes. Lots of shoes.

I also like polishing my shoes, ironing my clothes and drinking red wine.

And now that the weather is cooling down, I might give this look a go myself.

And on second thoughts I am rather partial to a knitted tie:

Mmmm......mmmmmmmmm

And I need the red and orange swirly one in the middle left in blue tones because I have a top in that exact print. OMG!!! I need them all!!!!!

Yes Len, they're rather expensive. But they're incredibly original and each one is a work of art so worth it in my opinion. I collect the women's scarves and they never go out of style.

More awesome Pucci ties. In fact I wish I could get the red, purple and white one on the top right hand side because I already have the women's scarf in that print.

The only tie I would ever want to see my other half wearing, Emilio Pucci. I'd get a matching women's scarf and wear it at the same time to whatever function we were going to.

Growing up in England we had school uniforms and, as such, am used to neck ties from a young age.

This is me in my last year of high school.

My school uniform.

That's probably the coolest adorning of a tie I have seen in a long time.

It's your hair that does it. The contrast is awesome. I think ties on men with regular short hair cuts make them look way too conservative, especially since most ties are very conservative by the nature of the colour or the pattern. The only way I like a tie is if its worn in a bold or unpredictable way. A really unusual colour combination contrasting with the suit can work, or just a really bold print or stripe can be fun. Otherwise I immediately think 'sales rep'.

Nothing wrong with red boat shoes, but I'm not a huge fan of the texture of those.

Hard to go wrong with J Crew in my book. What's your build, though? I go for the slim fit most of the time. Slim fit shirts, urban slim fit pants, Ludlow Blazers, Thompson suits. They come up with some great coats too. Love that place.

I see what you mean with the texture, but I've never found it a big deal. It's more subtle on the darker pair I was looking at before, so if that pops back up I'll go with them.

I'm 6'1" on a good day and about 190, so not exactly slim. Fortunately, J Crew still makes plenty of good stuff. Their slim fit shirts still fit me pretty well if I go a size up as well.

Love a man in a suit but a tie seems to take all the coolness out of a suit IMO for some reason.

McCoy, when will you tell us what was so horrible about your relationship?

There's not much to say. Karate was her life, and everything else was a second, third, or tenth priority.

She always kind of took me for granted, and it only got worse as the years went on. It was at the point where we hardly saw each other or even talked towards the end.

Her stepmother is actually the one that finally talked some sense in to me and encouraged me to get out and save myself.

Shit, it's worse than I thought. Her stepmother? Are you fucking kidding me? Originally I thought you were actually the one who had the balls to see things for what they were and decided to set things straight, but it turns out it was her stepmother who saw things for what they were and decided to set YOU straight! That's some scary shit right there. No wonder you're still having so much trouble!

Advice: go back to the beginning. Right back to the beginning. Seek professional help.

I had been contemplating the break-up for a while at that point. I had my "come to Jesus" moment after discussing it with her step-mother one day.

The irony in this? Her step-mother still cuts my hair to this very day. Her entire family still loves me.

Well that's just fabulous. Will they also have sex with you? No. I certainly hope not anyway.

Eeeerr, this is getting really creepy.

I think she's gay.

McCoy, when will you tell us what was so horrible about your relationship?

There's not much to say. Karate was her life, and everything else was a second, third, or tenth priority.

She always kind of took me for granted, and it only got worse as the years went on. It was at the point where we hardly saw each other or even talked towards the end.

Her stepmother is actually the one that finally talked some sense in to me and encouraged me to get out and save myself.

Shit, it's worse than I thought. Her stepmother? Are you fucking kidding me? Originally I thought you were actually the one who had the balls to see things for what they were and decided to set things straight, but it turns out it was her stepmother who saw things for what they were and decided to set YOU straight! That's some scary shit right there. No wonder you're still having so much trouble!

Advice: go back to the beginning. Right back to the beginning. Seek professional help.

That being said, unless your plan is to lock a low quality, dysfunctional girl down with you for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, I don't think he's all that fussy at this current moment in time. *facepalm*

It's a good thread! Reminds me of another thread a few months ago where someone asked a group of strangers on a forum to unite and express positive thoughts towards a member who was going thru a difficult time. Yet that very same person then felt compelled to come into this thread and drop a steamy pile of shit posts into it. Bravo.

My motivational quote:

Wow, the negativity in this post is so demotivating.

Here's a kiss for ya P4A

It raises a good point though. You're the one saying nobody needs motivation aside from what they can make for themselves mentally and yet you made a thread specifically aimed at motivating someone.

Seems a tad hypocritical is all.

I wasn't 'motivating' her at all. Just trying to send a little love the way of someone who was undergoing chemotherapy. A person with cancer undergoing chemo doesn't need motivation. They just need some love and a little friendly attention in between the sickness, the throwing up, the hair falling out. You don't need motivation because you just turn up and some fucking intense chemicals stream through your body to kill off the disease.

That's a VERY long stretch to say that I want to show some love and affection to someone who is a great friend as MOTIVATION.

BOTH threads were meant to be encouraging, supportive, motivational, and any other fucking synonym you want to google. No difference man, other than wanting to waste my time with bored pettiness.

Um.....no. So stop wasting your time with bored pettiness.

Cuz mans a pussyhole innit?

I mean the title's long gone and they're not in the Champions League next season so what's the point in making changes now unless they just want to give a new guy a couple of games to experiment? I think I just answered my own question didn't I?

Didn't think you were a footy head. Is this the second time you've posted in this thread? (First time being 2 posts previous?)

By the same token, after being with the same person for that long, and from that young of an age (I had just turned 18 when I met her), I kind of cheated myself out of the opportunity to meet other people and become more comfortable when it comes to dating in general. That might be why I'm somewhat socially awkward in those situations.

There's more to your 'social awkwardness' than just having been in a long term relationship from the age of 18. I've been with the same man for 20 years, since I was 19 and don't feel in any way inhibited or awkward in situations with members of the opposite sex. I know that relationship of yours had a very negative impact on your self esteem and I think that is more the issue rather than the view that you "cheated yourself out of the opportunity to meet other people" for 9 years.

I think there is a lot of unresolved territory in that previous relationship of yours that could be preventing you from moving forward and overcoming some issues that you've developed as a result.

Or empathy.

Speaking of something unrelated: How did it go with that girl from that dating site? Do you think your relentless and needy pursuit of girls stem from unreleased sexual energy? Or a desperate need to conform to the notion of a traditional relationship?

Good catch. FIxed.

I do think that some of it at least stems from feeling like I need to make up for lost time. Like I said, my 9-year relationship was just terrible at the end, and I really should have ended it MUCH sooner than I did. I will always consider that the BIGGEST mistake of my life, and I'll probably always regret wasting some of my prime years being absolutely miserable.

In this situation you're much too hard on yourself McCoy. You should not regret decisions like that. They're extremely hard to make and you only do it when you're good and ready. The important thing is that you learn from that relationship and don't go on to repeat the same experience. THAT would be a mistake worthy of regret. Life lessons are not things to regret. We all make mistakes and unfortunately only recognise them in retrospect. You do the best you can at any given point in time. In fact, I think there are things you could and should be doing better now that would be worthier of regret in the future, than your decision to end your previous long term relationship.

It's a good thread! Reminds me of another thread a few months ago where someone asked a group of strangers on a forum to unite and express positive thoughts towards a member who was going thru a difficult time. Yet that very same person then felt compelled to come into this thread and drop a steamy pile of shit posts into it. Bravo.

My motivational quote:

Wow, the negativity in this post is so demotivating.

Here's a kiss for ya P4A

I'm with Red in that I think quotes and videos are a load of tosh, but music always gets me amped whether it's the gym, whilst I'm at work or whether I'm studying.

But listening to music isn't the reason why you're successful at work or the gum, right? It keeps you pumping along, but your true motivation is to be successful and make money for work (achieve certain financial goals) and for the gym it is to maintain or improve your physical shape so that you can be healthy and live longer and be more attractive to the opposite sex and maybe even compete with your other male friends? The music alone doesn't motivate you to go through those arduous tasks when you could otherwise just sit on your ass, do nothing and eat.

Actually in the gym it does 100%. We all want the results at the gym but I can be lazy as fuck with it in the absence of music.

But it's not the music that you got you there in the first place!!! Fucking hell, you could sit on your ass and listen to music. It takes concerted effort to get in the car, get a change of clothes, pay your subscription, sweat it out and then go home after missing whatever TV show you missed out on. You didn't do it for the music. You did it for you! The music gave you energy but it wasn't the motivation. the motivation was a better, healthier body. Or maybe it was the promise of meeting some guy in the showers with a big fat cock, I don't know? But it sure as fuck wasn't the music.

I'm not sure whether to or *facepalm*

It'a important to note that those who source motivation can be more successful than those who rely entirely on their own mental strength.

I agree. But motivation for most really successful people rarely comes from deliberately contrived 'motivational speeches/videos/quotes.

It's true that champions are rarely motivated by anyone other than their own future selves - or in fact, a relationship they share with a god. But what you have to acknowledge is that no more than 5% of the world become champions at their respective endeavour. Not everybody can have that conquerer spirit.

So they look to quotes made by the champions not to become champions, but to better themselves.

I'm not a champion at anything but I still don't look to some random quote to motivate me. My motivation comes from my desire to succeed at whatever it is I've chosen to do. For the average person, like me, that relates to effort in = result out. My effort is inspired by a better life for myself and that's all.

I wonder if the people that are born with debilitating diseases just look in the mirror and say to themselves 'all i need to do is be thankful that I can breathe everyday and I will reach my goals" or do they draw inspiration from those that have been in the exact same position , and have triumphed over their setbacks, and are thus motivated to get though any boundary that lay before them.

hmmm....

Well my perception is that they get their motivation from a desire to be well again. They get their inspiration from those that have achieved in the face of setbacks. Two very different things. And the inspiration comes from very personal stories and I imagine they spend hours learning about how that person overcame the setbacks. They spend hours in suffering and relating to another persons suffering to find the strength to succeed. Not really happening in a succinct little quote or 20 minute video, is my guess.

What other motivation do you need than the realisation of your goals, your dreams?

As if some random video from a complete stranger, targeted to no-one in particular is going to have a greater impact on my personal determination than the thought in my head that "this is it, if I don't carry this bit over the line after all the effort I've put in, I'm back at square one".

Fuck those 'quotes' and motivational speeches. Just remind yourself what you're here to do on this earth and get it done. If you can't convince and motivate yourself to achieve your own goals, what hope does some random stranger with a quote or speech have?

That's kind of an ignorant view of the world,

why do people listen to music at the gym? to motivate themselves to train harder, lift heavier, run longer etc, to reach their goals, could they get their without it? sure/perhaps/not likely

Why do amateur artists go to art exhibitions? To be motivated to work harder, improve their skills, draw inspiration (which mostly goes hand in hand with motivation, those that are inspired can draw motivation from that and work harder)...Even things such as film, tv, etc can motivate people to do things for the better, become a better person, triumph over their failures in life etc, motivation for a lot of people is drawn upon their experiences as well as from their genetic makeup, however for a lot of other people, motivation is extrinsic and they draw energy and motivation from those people, arts, etc that are around them in this world.

That's an uninformed opinion of 'inspiration'. No artist goes to another art exhibition to 'motivate' themselves. They go because they're actually INTERESTED in what others are doing. It has nothing to do with THEIR work or their pay check. In fact most artists are very careful to not draw 'inspiration' from other artists for fear that it will influence their work too much and will be marked as plagiarism. I know of many designers and artists who actively refrain from viewing the work of contemporaries so as to avoid any 'influence'. Ask any truly creative person (not a copyist) where they get their 'inspiration' from and not one will tell you from another artist/designer. Ask any creative person where they get their 'motivation' from and they will tell you a need, a desire to create.

And music at the gym? It's not motivation. The motivation is the goal for one's body, the physical benefits, the mental achievement. The music is just a tactic to keep you moving. It's definitely not motivation.

Way to miss the whole point,

so no one is ever motivated by any of the things I've mentioned? everyone's born with an inherent motivation to reach their goals from day 1? all they need to do is remind themselves that they are alive and lucky to breathe in air each day as you basically put it?

Who said anything about being lucky to be alive and to breathe air? Since I didn't I'm guessing my post went completely over your head.

Yeah because motivational stories that are shared by others aren't filmed in a 10,20,30 min or 1 hour video or isn't captured in a simple gif or image, it requires hours of reading and researching to truly capture the basic essence of the message at hand.

Keep digging

OK, please go ahead and post those here. Because this a thread about 'motivation'. Meaning quotes and videos that you will help some random poster in here achieve the motivation required to:

Do whatever Lith quoted in his OP.

I rest my case.

I'm with Red in that I think quotes and videos are a load of tosh, but music always gets me amped whether it's the gym, whilst I'm at work or whether I'm studying.

But listening to music isn't the reason why you're successful at work or the gum, right? It keeps you pumping along, but your true motivation is to be successful and make money for work (achieve certain financial goals) and for the gym it is to maintain or improve your physical shape so that you can be healthy and live longer and be more attractive to the opposite sex and maybe even compete with your other male friends? The music alone doesn't motivate you to go through those arduous tasks when you could otherwise just sit on your ass, do nothing and eat.