SoundOfAGun

A talented goat herder, SoundOfAGun was shipped off to the UK from Azerbaijan at the tender age of 18 months, sent by his demented father - who had long since lost his mind through mercury exposure whilst indulging in his addiction to skin lightening cream - to find his fortune. Despite not being able to speak, SoundOfAGun found refuge with a group of stray whippets, who had all been set free to roam the streets due to various aliments that saw them unfit for racing at the dog track. Together they earned money by performing in a traditional barber shop quartet configuration. After moderate success on the legendary Barbershop Quartet circuit in the East Midlands, the group called it a day due to fighting over the Tenor and Lead parts. SoundOfAGun embarked on a brief stint as a beatbox artist and produced one album - Dutch Shortcake - largely acknowledged as a modern classic, before his own addiction to Kinder egg figurines led to him declaring bankruptcy in 1958.

Now a recovering Holy Water salesman, SoundOfAGun lives a quiet life with his made up stories, split personality and his penguin, Kevin. He produces music that no one listens to, in a style that has long since been declared a relic of the past. He also enjoys Marks & Spencer's all butter biscuits, taxidermy and science fiction novellas.