Redhead74

So, basically he's going to be moved from the parking lot, to under the floor of the cathedral itself? Instead of cars driving over him, he'll have people walking all over him. Probably appropriate.

I don't think it's that tough. Hostility happens in any community environment and when you only have text as the means of communication some people are going to interpret posts in completely different ways to others, so disagreement and personality clashes are a natural element. If someone doesn't like it they don't have to stay, so some conflict should be considered normal and acceptable. Obviously mods being fair is a big part of how cohesive the whole environment is. One extreme to the other will create either Jarmos site, or complete anarchy (probably like the Stones and Van Halen forums Zint mentioned).

Believe it or not but jeans only need to be washed a 3-4 times a year. And depending on how often you wear them, less if you don't wear them regularly. If you spill something on them well yes, obviously they need to be washed to eradicate the mark, but a lot of denim companys recommend airing your jeans out on a washing line without actually washing them. It preserves the life and shape of the denim. Hard cotton like denim doesn't like being wet and deteriorates much faster with washing.

That's actually really cool. It's enabling the average person on the street to interact with design. It's handing an element of that design process over to the consumer and that's a first in the world of fashion. It gives the average guy on the street an opportunity for expression and that's really liberating. I love it.

I never have to shorten jeans but I often shorten a dress by an inch or two because I find that a dress looks much better a couple of inches above the knee for me. It's all about leg shape IMO. I have fairly muscly calves due to the ballet I did in my school years and so skirts generally look better above the knee on me. Below the knee I never go more than 1.5". It's such an easy alteration too and means the difference between flattering and dowdy. Every female needs to know the correct hit point for a hem for their height and leg shape.

It looks like that could be easily fixed though, because of the way there's bands of fabric over the bust. I could probably pick the seam open and move everything up a tad if I need to.

That's a good solution because that model is long in the torso. The seam just above the bust is the perfect place to lift it, but you'll probably have to reshape the side seam a bit too as the widest part of the hip (her bum, basically) will sit higher on you and you don't want bagginess around the high hip area. The only other thing to consider is the back. Is that band also at the back? If not you could easily put a seam there too but I have no idea what's going on at the back in relation to the black/white design. Check a back view before buying.

You could also lift it a bit at the shoulder seams too. Maybe splitting the difference between the black band and the shoulder seam would help?

I actually want to do that exact thing on her. Design wise it's not that flattering to have that black band sitting where it is and that corner angle where it is. Luckily they put seams in the exact place you need it. I love it when that happens.

Looks like it's the same in the back!

So it could be done. I've a fairly high waist/short torso for my height so might luck out and not have to do anything with the rest of it I'd have to see what it's like on and see if it's worth messing around with. I frequently have to alter tops and dresses like this because of the small-shoulder issue

Looks great to me. If all you have to do is lift it from that bust seam then thats fab. If you have the time free a little perhaps from the shoulders too might help, but it may not need it because it looks low slung to me at that bust seam. The stretch fabric means the hips might be fine, that depends on your waist measurement. Everyone's different so you could be lucky there. And the back design lines are great, any taking in will mean that the white lines still meet at the side seam.

I know what you mean about altering things. I basically alter EVERYTHING I buy. My waist measurement is smaller than standard patterns so I always taper everything at the waist a bit. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's a pain in the arse (pants with waistbands, for instance) but if its a piece I love I really don't care how much effort I have to put in. I'd rather the thing fit and I can then enjoy it for a long time to come. I also have a thing about hem lengths. I know what works on my shape and fortunately I have to shorten a hem as opposed to needing extra length. Most ready to wear fashion is now definitely being made to accommodate tall people and so everyone who isn't tall pretty much has to shorten their clothes to find that perfect hit point for their height.

It looks like that could be easily fixed though, because of the way there's bands of fabric over the bust. I could probably pick the seam open and move everything up a tad if I need to.

That's a good solution because that model is long in the torso. The seam just above the bust is the perfect place to lift it, but you'll probably have to reshape the side seam a bit too as the widest part of the hip (her bum, basically) will sit higher on you and you don't want bagginess around the high hip area. The only other thing to consider is the back. Is that band also at the back? If not you could easily put a seam there too but I have no idea what's going on at the back in relation to the black/white design. Check a back view before buying.

You could also lift it a bit at the shoulder seams too. Maybe splitting the difference between the black band and the shoulder seam would help?

I actually want to do that exact thing on her. Design wise it's not that flattering to have that black band sitting where it is and that corner angle where it is. Luckily they put seams in the exact place you need it. I love it when that happens.

[

Of course if McCoy chose to follow any of it he would rather more successful than he currently is which would mean an end to the thread.

Hogwash! There'd still be a couple hundred pages about what boots he should buy and which spurs are the best.

Nope. At that point in time he can join the Male Fashion thread and discuss his attire there, like everyone else.

No.

Wearing these today:

Nothing wrong with a good penny loafer. I like 'em. I don't like black ones though. The brown is really nice.

I disagree. I think there are a lot of concepts covered. A lot of scenarios. There's literally a MINEFIELD of great advice in there. I don't think it's all that relevant that McCoy follows it or gives excuses. In fact the more 'excuses' he gives the more aspects of dating gets discussed. I find it quite fascinating. Of course if McCoy chose to follow any of it he would rather more successful than he currently is which would mean an end to the thread.

The way I feel every time I happen to stumble inside the McCoy thread...

Then why do you and all the 'likers' bother looking?

It's always on page one....and for a second I think, "Maybe....just maybe there's something different going on or they/McCoy got further, etc"....but that has yet to happen.

Oh come on, it's up to 180+ pages!

In all honesty I think we have covered a lot of ground in there. It's all there, the solutions, the tactics of other posters (if they were in McCoy's shoes), the success stories of other posters, the psychological impact of talking to Horse Girl or telling her to take a flying leap, the appropriateness of cowboy boots or not, the distinction between having balls and telling someone where to get off.....it's all there. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) it's not ultimately our problem if McCoy takes our advice or not. In fact it's kind of irrelevant. I think McCoy's thread is basically s second 'love/sex/relationship' thread, where everyone 'appears' to be an expert.

The way I feel every time I happen to stumble inside the McCoy thread...

Then why do you and all the 'likers' bother looking?

Nah. This whole alpha/beta thing is borrowed from the animal kingdom.

And even then, I find that many people on the internet have very different opinions than I do on what would make you qualify as alpha or beta.

I'm not following.

Its more about nature than action though right?

I'm not following.

I see what you did there

Well when you live in a society where cheap, fatty food means more than the preservation of human life, you're gonna get some nutjobs that enter a premises gun in hand (or gun concealed ). Whatever.

Women do tend to avoid 2 different scenarios:

1. Awkward, confrontational discussions that might make them appear like a hard-assed bitch (so unfeminine).

i know it's hard to believe, but some of them are actually not hard-assed sadistic bitches

and they don't enjoy having awkward personal conversations with people they barely know. and maybe they just don't see the point, as they think all the "brutal truth" will either fall on deaf ears (because people only hear what they want to hear), or will eventually do the guy more harm than good (because as someone already mentioned, "brutal truth" is subjective notion).

I never said they were hard assed bitches (and where did the sadistic bit all of a sudden come from?).

I said that women don't like to APPEAR to be hard assed bitches and its one of the reasons why women don't always assert themselves in many situations throughout life. The majority of women really avoid certain scenarios that might make them appear (in their opinion) unfeminine, and as a result appear weak. The alternative response would be that they might actually assert some strength of character.

He won't be asking them to fix him, just some honest hints that might help a newbie like him on the dating scene, and why should he care about appearing odd to a girl he won't be talking to again? Temporary oddness is a small price to pay if he actually gets some more grip on how he appear to girls he like.

He is obviously clueless himself as to what should be done. I see no reason why he should remain clueless if there is a quick solution to the problem. He might not like what the girls will say, he might not be able to fix his problems, but at least he can then accept his fate and start hoarding cats.

Because she won't tell him the truth and therefore it will be pointless. Also women talk to other women and word get around believe me. Basically he's going to get the whole "it's not you it's me" or "I'm just not at that place in my life right now" or some other such cookie cutter cobblers.

To tell him the actual truth is going to require some level of effort on her part and if she's a decent person she's going to do the best she can within reason to avoid upsetting him. I think it's a fool's errand where at best he's going to get misleading information and at worst he's going to get fuckin' tazered!

Women do tend to avoid 2 different scenarios:

1. Awkward, confrontational discussions that might make them appear like a hard-assed bitch (so unfeminine).

2. Any conversation that concerns emotional issues and where their safety might be in question (so hazardous to one's health and general wellbeing).

In this scenario I would think that #1 is more likely.

I know a guy who doesn't drink and it's actually no problem at all. He doesn't make a big deal out of it, but he has his reasons not to drink. The first time it's a bit strange if you offer him a whole range of drinks and he chooses orange juice, but that's it. He doesn't mind going to bars and he doesn't mind his friends or gf drinking. He's just not uptight with it and imo then it's not a problem. In fact, they're the only couple that doesn't have to debate about who'll be the designated driver

You do make a good point but I'm thinking about this in terms of how I've heard McCoy describe his attitude. He seems to have a real problem with it and I'm sure that's fairly noticable to other people. If people don't care it's one thing and good luck to 'em but when you're sitting there nursing a brew and the other fucker's looking at you like you've just shat on their kids it's something else all together. I thing that kind of attitude is going to make a lot of people uncomfortable because nobody likes to think that they're being judged.

I agree with you, I think McCoy is too uptight about it and that makes it into a problem, I just wanted to point out it didn't have to be one.

I don't think he's that uptight actually. I think all his 'conditions' are just excuses for not putting himself out there and what he views as "setting himself up for failure", because when it all boils down he doesn't believe that anyone can or would love him. So naturally you avoid putting yourself in those situations, right?

McCoy, just stop treating a date as a dentist apointment and you will be fine.

Lol, at first glance I thought you said: "just stop eating a date at a dentist appointment and you will be fine"

love the dress. what brand is it?

I bought it last year from asos.com for get this: $36 (with free shipping from the UK to Australia!!! Their stuff is great and awesomely cheap (the asos brand that is, not all the other brands they also sell). You have to browse their dresses regularly to find the good stuff because it tends to sell fast. I know my size now with them and pretty much everything fits. Can't go wrong.

I think all this shit would be corrected if McCoy got some therapy for his anxiety and someone to coach him in personal life.. like.. live life, help him enjoy it. Generally this would such a dick comment for someone with mental issues but from what he's told us it's not like he's afraid to walk outside or anything. I think he just needs to learn to relax a little bit..

I've said this several times. And it's not something to be embarrassed about. People get help from psychologists all the time, it's actually becoming perfectly acceptable given the high rates of anxiety among society today. I think years ago it was so taboo to get psychological help, but now people recognise that things like anxiety and depression are equally valid illnesses like any physical ailment that you see a doctor for.

It's not saying "fuck man, you're a psycho, go and see a shrink and get your head sorted out", it's just proper professional help to deal with the patterns of thinking and thought processes that go on in our mind due to experiences you had throughout your life and quite probably during childhood when our brains weren't developed enough to react any differently.

I read recently that negative thoughts processes and reactions, if repeated enough, actually make an imprint as a neurological pathway that show up as grooves on an MRI scan! So once that pattern is developed it's very difficult without proper help to break that and start a new pathway. It's possible, and it not that difficult, you just need to know how.

I didn't even need the black ones, but it turned out that buying a second pair meant I got free shipping and they were $25!!!! So in the end with the free shipping I really only paid $15 for them!!! If I wear them once ill have got my money's worth.

Not as in love with the blacks as I am with the first ones, though they are amazing. The flip side of that is that the black ones are probably easier to fit something else to look good with but the first ones, though they are amazing, it'd take someone with a bit of an eye for this kinda shit to really find something that fits with em perfectly.

What do you see yourself wearing with the first ones my dear?

I have heaps of stuff actually. I have a bunch of skirts, tops and jackets that fall into that 'hunting/equestrian' look. Plus I love the look of those boots with a couple of light, girly chiffon dresses I have, you know that contrast between 'pretty and sweet' and a tougher biker kind of look.

I was thinking this dress for one. Love the colour combo of the dark plum with the tan leather

No.

Thanks Len! I thought so too. The black pair look like this from the front:

Hahaha! Had to do some quick deleting then because my response to Len REALLY didn't fit well with pestilence's post.

(Original post in reply to Len: "I thought so too! Thanks!" Hahaha!)

I just bought these :

Like these:

Except they're so fucking uncomfortable.

Agreed.