Binge_And_Slash

Really fancy going to The Comedy Store in London. Yes guys, my money isn't just spent on getting ridiculously drunk....

Now I remember why I cut down on drinking.... Ugh...(I did want to say 'Stopped', but that would be lying).

You know it's been a heavy night when you've lost your Nectar Card of all things...

Also, can someone fill in the blanks of last night? By "blanks" I mean "90%"

"After those EE adverts have you worked out how you're connected to Kevin Bacon yet?" - Damien Edge"He's a massive dick and I've got one?" - Me.

Anyone wanna see The Darkness on March 7th @ Hammersmith Apollo? I promise I won't get super-drunk and (try to) sing like Justin the whole concert again.**Not a guarantee

You know you lead a pretty relaxed lifestyle when your two biggest annoyances of the day are the Subway advert and "Horse Meat in Tesco's" jokes.

Richard Sanders, bring us up a coffee or tea? Cheers.

Just realised I haven't got Rich 'Laney' Lane a birthday present. Perhaps my friendship will suffice?

On eBay I've just sold "Wolfenstein", a game where you go around shooting Nazi's and Nazi Zombies, as well as Adolf Hitler, to a guy who lives in Germany....

5 years ago, Nile Shephärd, Emile de Tourtoulon and myself created a Radio show that changed the world.http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=32124847&ac=now

For some reason I'm really in the mood to go to Legoland. If you couldn't tell, my life is one non-stop party.

It's Saturday night and I'm in the bath reading Lee Mack's autobiography whilst drinking a can of Fanta. Rock N F'n Roll.

Finish work at 1. Thinking of going to that new Patisserie place for lunch. Anyone else up for this idea?

Tonight, I met a girl with a foot fetish. Obviously I had to tell her my dick wasn't 12" long....

Going out tonight after 11 days of not drinking. This could go one of two ways - either I have a good time getting drunk, or Southend High Street is going to be treated to some "Pavement Pizza".

Have found out via email I have distant relatives who are Nigerian royalty that want me to inherit their wealth, all they need is my card details! This is my lucky day. I love my newly discovered family! How they discovered my email address I'll never know!

All these women on the 64 dating sites I've joined seem so sad and desperate.

Has officially been alcohol free for 7 days! Not much of an achievement I know, but not bad for someone who usually goes out 2/3 times a week!

"but the rest of them, running around messing everyone around, causing drama, getting fucked on drugs and drinking too much than they can handle, this isn't fucking 'Skins'" - Rich 'Laney' Lane

"I don't drink, but I don't not drink" - Fayebella Palmer, Jan 6th 2013

I've just realised the actress who played Emmet Brown's girlfriend in Back To The Future 3 is the same one who plays Buddy The Elf's step-mum in Elf. I have a feeling today is going to be productive!

Finally, the iTunes "12 Days" App gives away something half decent today! I'll probably never use this cookbook, but its still better than Maroon 5, Ed Sheeran, that shit football game, and those boring books.

Hope at midnight, when all the fireworks went off to celebrate a new year that you spared a thought for all of those that were lost in 2012, both close to you and the people you were with rather than "who you were gonna get on for a kiss"

Me and Sam are in Southend high street with some gin n voddie we buried earlier and don't wanna go home. Who wants to meet us?