MAFIA Posted November 3, 2007 Author Share Posted November 3, 2007 THE SONG I DID ON MY BIRTHDAY,WICH WAS 3DAYS AGOHere comes the pain No.no.no ...oh no noWe aint' gonna dieYet this feeling is so strongway stronger than me so thats why i crySometimes i wanna cryBut most of the times i just think it overCouse' this pain is stronger than meSo , sometimes i really wanna dieAnd when the pain comesAnd all my fears finally sumsAll i hear is your and my heart beat like a drumsHere comes the pain babyHere comes the.....Oh no ,no noWe aint' gonna dieYet this feeling is so strongway stronger than me so thats why i cryGuitar solo part '' aproxy 1min''And when pain finally comes on my doorI will be ready for this warI will survive or i will die in goreSo Lord when you see me knockin' on a heavens doorBe so kind ,let me in and do not ignoreOh no ,no noWe aint' gonna dieYet this feeling is so strongway stronger than me so thats why i cryOh no no no Tell me God why dont i feel anymoreOh no no noTell me Lord why cant it be like beforeOh nooooooWhy have i ever stept into this Civil WarThis would be something like Alice in chains....HEAVENS BESIDE YOU with little faster guitar of CantrellIf you can imagine how would that sound Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 5, 2007 Author Share Posted November 5, 2007 4 MonthsDo you hear the unholy bellDont you know how the devil lairs smellLet me sing you a storyStory of 4 months of hell........(chorus)As i have stood thinking i have allI had many and now i crawlI was big and now i am smallThis was 4 months of hellOh baby ....i just wanna be with youDont you remember when we was a crewAll these days without you seems so untrueDont you know that i am alone now, and we were twoOh baby ....i just wanna say....thank youthank you...(chorus)As i have stood thinking i have allI had many and now i crawlI was big and now i am smallThis was 4 months of hellDont you know how many times i have cried I know that i have lived in denialMy love was free and now its tiedSo why do you let me live in lie(chorus)As i have stood thinking i have allI had many and now i crawlI was big and now i am smallThis was 4 months of hellNow my body is trapped inside the cellFuck this shit Fuck this shit Dont you hear my painful yellThis was my 4 months of hellSo please come back.....Couse' i need you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevdo242 Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 The rhymes are a bit too obvious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 6, 2007 Author Share Posted November 6, 2007 SoCheck some of greatest songs of our time and you will see that many songs are less quality then some of mineBut that still dont make my songs known,and still dont make their songs less qualityConcreteI am gonna give what you needI will broke ,you will seedI will always do anything that you needCouse' i am the one that make your life compleetConcrete (whisper)concrete...(screaming)concrete ( screaming as fade away)Living in my world day by dayIt is some hard shit to doLife full of missery and loved ones far awayconcrete.....(scream)concrete ....(fading away whisper)I am gonna give you what you needFollow my rulez and you will feel what you eatYou will taste a bitte flavour in everything that is sweetI am something that you cannot beatYou start,i compleetYou make , i deleteconcrete concrete...!!!!Living by me rules is hard to doPain is to hard and work to big to overdueNo more plesure,no more gamesLiving by my rules is something everyone must goes thruI leed,you bleedI need,you breedConcrete....(screaming out loud)Concrete....(fast whisper talk)Concrete ....(whisper fading away) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevdo242 Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 SoCheck some of greatest songs of our time and you will see that many songs are less quality then some of mineBut that still dont make my songs known,and still dont make their songs less qualityOK, I'll just be frank and say your lyrics are shite, and aren't fit to be even the worst Sebastian Bach B-side.You don't seem to be able to take constructive criticism, so I might aswell say all this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 HahaThanksBut they are still better then you can writeThanks for criticism thoughtShall i write you a song now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy158 Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 hey man , if you cant take the ciriticism then dont postin all honesty , there below average and the rhymes dont make sense , they pointlessly rhyme . try to write what you know and feel rather what u think well just ryhme.if you want poeple to kiss your ass for work thats below mediocre your just hurting your self.you gotta face the truth if you wana improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 Please go practice your guitar skill,you need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy158 Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 (edited) So childish man. unbelievably childish.your 24 and thats what you write? , my brother wich you mock is 17 , and already's done a better job than you.as i said before , your lyrics lack meaning , its just pointless rhyming Edited November 7, 2007 by Maddy158 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highvoltage Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 hey man , if you cant take the ciriticism then dont postin all honesty , there below average and the rhymes dont make sense , they pointlessly rhyme . try to write what you know and feel rather what u think well just ryhme.if you want poeple to kiss your ass for work thats below mediocre your just hurting your self.you gotta face the truth if you wana improve.You could REALLY take some of your OWN advice here, highway_blues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 4 real?Damn dude,awesome !!!Well tell him that he forgot to play guitar like you did aswell while trying to learn to write poesmCouse' what i've heard of your guitar work,you sound like elephant farted in your both ears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevdo242 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 HahaThanksBut they are still better then you can writeThanks for criticism thoughtShall i write you a song now? Don't go there man. I've written better songs than you could understand.Also, I can write a song without mentioning the words 'god dammit' or a screaming 'fuck you'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAC185 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 English spelling inside songs is quite perfectThat is not true. And sometimes the grammar is off aswell so some bits....you can tell what you mean but its phrased really awkwardly. Obviously english isn't your first language so its not a criticsm, it just detracts from the meaning at times somewhat.Again, not a bash, just letting you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 10, 2007 Author Share Posted November 10, 2007 HahaThanksBut they are still better then you can writeThanks for criticism thoughtShall i write you a song now? Don't go there man. I've written better songs than you could understand.Also, I can write a song without mentioning the words 'god dammit' or a screaming 'fuck you'.Even gnr used those words in their songs,but i guess you know better ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevdo242 Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 HahaThanksBut they are still better then you can writeThanks for criticism thoughtShall i write you a song now? Don't go there man. I've written better songs than you could understand.Also, I can write a song without mentioning the words 'god dammit' or a screaming 'fuck you'.Even gnr used those words in their songs,but i guess you know better ... Clearly I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 11, 2007 Author Share Posted November 11, 2007 DamnHahahahahah :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highway blues Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 (edited) Hey dude , seriously , for the good of your self , when someone critic's your work , just let it go .unless its unfound , and overly blunt .your lyrics are what they are , and comments made are all honest , you havent nailed kevdo's sister so hes not gona bash you for an unfound reason.and as to my skill level , well my friend im 16 been playing for a year , and time infront of me is long , and ive ben practicing daily for 2 plus hours , larning chord's ,apregios ,rythym , lead all that i need . id do the same if i was you and go ahead and improve rather than act god sent.and highvoltage , dickhead, theres a diffrence between a 16 eyar old and a 24 year old , 8 years diffrence , so hypotheticaly he has to be maturer than i .. Edited November 11, 2007 by highway blues Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 Is that you speaking maddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 NEW SONGMemoryYou have seen it all beforeLike them ,even you once was smallchildhood passed bylike it was a single memorya memory written on a wallCause' i'll never let you goLike it was yesterdayOh,hey,oh yeaFirst day in a schoolYour first dateGirls lookin' so freakin' coolHey,oh yeaCause' ill never let you goLike it was yesterdayOh,hey oh ,yeaparents rule to obeyFirst game,even a first playFirst love,girls that give it a wayOh,yeahLike i will ever let you goYou have seen it all beforeAnd now !!When you wanna have it allYou must realizeThat you cannot have it anymoreIt's just pagesPages fade awayLike it will ever let you goLike it was yesterdayOh,yeah oh ,yeaFirst car and first jobEven first ticket and first globeHey,yeahYou think you have seen it allLike it i will ever let you goi said!!!!Ever let you goOh memoryMemory of minePlease dont ever let me goI am dreamin' every night about youOh please,dont ever let me go''some things we can't live againso some things we must do rightand if we fail,there is no regret ''By: BTDSong dedicated to everyone's memory on a childhood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin's Creed Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 (edited) Over blown imagination,candy bars and televisionits all just my ,my daily fixationThe world is new to meday to day adventure'smy everyday necessitymonsters in my closetmonsters under my bedid think about running awaybut my magical powersDropped the monsters deadi sat in classbored n confusedid look around see a pretty girl smileshould i send her a note it wasnt my my stylerunning aroundfalling downhurt thenits just funny nowmonsters in my closetmonsters under my bedid think about running awaybut my magical powersDropped the monsters deadTeachers come,come to memy heads on the tablehe calls my nameim up , no more serenityback to doing mathwhat a tragedyi like my song more , i didint finish it. but just thought id write a little of whats been in my mind for a while Edited March 20, 2008 by Assassin's Creed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aidlook Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 monsters in my closetmonsters under my bedid think about running awaybut my magical powersDropped the monsters deadThat's some quality shit right there... And posting under 3 different usernames in the same topic highway_blues...must be some kind of record... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 MidnightThe father of the nightHis teeth are deadly His heart is black The Man who lives to biteAs the midnight creeps upon your townHis children will fly above your warm bodiesAs he bites another oneHer dead soul fades to black ,deep in the lake it drowns*roar* of the beast The master of the darkHis sins floating on Noah's shipAs he bites another oneHis sins become too big to fit the arkVictims run for their lives, knowing ....God's scavenger came from night to leave his mark*Scream* of an virginSon of a devilHis lips are poisonous But his voice is deep,deeper then life itself Son of war, Lord of battleAs his army aproaches youThe blood they spill seems so unrealHis hordes will blind youPictures of your town's view Will fade like the souls of mankind MidnightBeware what comes with midnightWhat flies into the nightHe is blood thrsty Hell's messenger in an angel's disguiseMidnight........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted May 17, 2008 Author Share Posted May 17, 2008 SleeplessWalking down the streetThinking shall i come homeWhat will i findWho will i meetWalking down to the clubOrdering my jackThinking on her sleepless bodyAnd her eyes that fade in black Lightning my cigarRunning away from myself Looking in a bar windowAll i see is a guilty scar Her sleepless body My biggest regretWalking back homeThinking what have i done ,She was so beautifulNow she's all goneAs i enter my roomShe is laying on a bedI wanna cry But i feel like something in myself diedI wanna cryBut my eyes are dryCalling 911Once again looking at my handsTrying to convince myselfHer slepless body is nothin' i could doFor everything there is God plansBut truth isShe was beautifullAnd now she's deadSleep my babyYour life has just begun*guitar solo 2-min * Picking up a gunAs police sirens coming my wayI take a look at her slepless bodyShe was so beautifulland now she's so deadBang !!!My head explodeMy brain is all over the wallBut i still see her slepless bodyDamn .....My life misery has just begun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTGNRVR Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Get pretty good stuff here man! I like 'em! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFIA Posted May 19, 2008 Author Share Posted May 19, 2008 thanks mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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