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Read their other auctions! What an asshole!

Those other ones were pretty fucked up too. Definitely an asshole, but very funny.

couldent read that. They obviously don't use paragraphs

I hear you about the style he listed the auction in, but take the time to read it. I think you will find it amusing.

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At long last, behold the glorious union of the following two records. Together for the first time ever, those rascally Gunners are being offered with the other half of Barry Gibb’s “Guilty” – Barbra Striesand! Side by side, this is a hot match. Now, I’m about to say something that many will find shocking, but listen up ‘cause I mean it: This Guns N’ Roses record sucks. It was heralded when it came out as a return to gritty rock n roll and that’s just sad ‘cause this record sounds like a joke. Seriously. When people break out an Appetite for Destruction cassette in their cars and try to geek out about their high school glory days – I just don’t get it. All those people who were starved for something grittier should’ve dug a little deeper. Believe me, there were plenty of cooler things coming out back then. Am I supposed to feel bad for the folks who gobbled up whatever MTV was spoonfeeding? Forget it. In 1987, I had a ton of friends that loved Appetite for Destruction, somehow bypassing the nails on chalkboard effect of Axel Rose’s voice. My idiot stoner friends bought it, my friends with no musical interest (or taste) bought it; my punk friends even bought it and bonded over it being some sort of guilty pleasure. I listened to it back then, and I gave it a whirl every other year or so, and straight up, this record has consistently sucked. I give up. I just don’t get it. Look, I know all about guilty pleasures. Anyone remember Danzig’s first record? That thing sounds like comedy, but it’s great. Or how ‘bout The Cult’s Electric? Every single song sounded like a Stones or an AC/DC rip-off (or both at the same time) while managing to squeeze in a million Ows and Babys… but I love that record. Play it loud and every head in the room will nod. But Appetite for Destruction? Even the title is corny. Look, I gave the record a chance – multiple chances in fact – but I’m through. Someone else needs to own this thing. And I’ll bet that if you play it with some friends around, the nostalgia will kick in and it’ll be awesome – but if you play it when you’re home alone, you’ll just get depressed about how crappy it is. And it should absolutely make you depressed ‘cause it is indeed a turd. There’s nothing special about this particular copy either (not that I know of). It's used and the Robert Williams art is nowhere to be found, so don’t ask. As for Barbra Striesand’s BUTTERFLY… it just looks so good next to those wacky Gunners, I felt compelled to auction them together. It got panned in 1974 for not living up to certain expectations. And it only went into Gold Record status, which, apparently for someone like Striesand, was considered a disappointment. However, from where I’m sitting, if your band only ever released 1000 seven-inches, and somehow managed to sell all one thousand – then I’m considering your band a success. Perhaps Minor Threat said it best with the immortal words “Boo f*@%ing hoo.” Am I supposed to feel bad that her record only went Gold, while the rest of us sold 400 seven-inches over 5 cruddy tours – and now those unsold 600 records are sitting somewhere in a grouphouse basement – a grouphouse, I might add, in which you don’t even reside anymore. Now that’s reality. Oh, I’m sorry Barbra that your unsung masterpiece only went Gold. I’m sorry your schmaltzy show tunes only reached a sad 500,000 pairs of ears. I’m sorry that the bread you made from that record only allowed you to continue living in complete luxury. I’d like to dis it even more, but this copy’s sealed, so I’ve never bothered to listen to it. For all I know, this record could actually be amazing. And even though I’ve never heard it, I’m willing to bet that I’d prefer Striesand’s Butterfly to Appetite for Destruction. You see, a few month’s back, a friend of mine played “Guitly” at full volume, and I was feelin' that song. In my later years, I think I’ve developed a serious soft spot for the Bee Gees. No kidding. You can thank Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake for that. As always, buyer pays for shipping. I’ll ship these as MEDIA MAIL in the United States and FIRST-CLASS INTERNATIONAL for foreign countries. I accept PAYPAL only. I offer NO RETURN POLICY and I will not be held responsible for anything lost or damaged in the mail. That said, I’m an expert at packing records and writing addresses on boxes, I’m fast as all get-out, and I pull no scams when it comes to shipping and handling fees. These records are already packed and ready to go. As soon as I receive payment, they’ll be out the door. If they don’t show up at your house, it’s your mailman’s fault, not mine. Thanks for reading, and check out my other auctions if you’re up for it.
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