The Real McCoy's life issues and style advice thread

[Redhead74]

I told you Sunday dates always flake.

If she wanted to meet you she would.

This is why next time there is a chance of a date you pick Thursday, Friday or Saturday night at 8pm at a cafe/bar near your place.

You decide and tell her.

And never, ever do dinner on a first date. As you don't drink I'd get coffee and tell her to try the Irish coffee

Exactly.

Actually I'd even go so far as picking just a Friday or Saturday, preferably Saturday. If she is truly interested then she won't say no to Saturday which is always the most popular night of the week, her response would be a good barometer.

The funny thing is though that you can never gauge from one meeting how much depth is possible in a relationship. People need to get to know each other and that requires conversation. I think that a week night is a little less intimidating and it avails the opportunity to establish that conversation and hopefully find a common ground. I agree that not doing dinner is a good decision. That seems terribly intimate and the connection required can be established over a drink. At a bar. McCoy doesn't have to drink alcohol but it will at least establish the acceptance by the girl that's its OK if she does (and don't tell me McCoy that you're not OK with a girl who drinks. You just dramatically reduced your pool if you expect a girl to not drink the way you do. It's also pretty disrespectful since there is nothing wrong with someone enjoying a few drinks).

I actually think that 6 or 6:30 is a good time. Close to finishing work (deepening of course when one finishes work), enough time for either party to spruce themselves up but not enough time to procrastinate or get overly nervous. And not dinner time. One doesn't want to be starving when meeting one for a first date. Just my opinion though.

[Facekicker]

dinner time can vary all over the world though

[Dazey]

I told you Sunday dates always flake.

If she wanted to meet you she would.

This is why next time there is a chance of a date you pick Thursday, Friday or Saturday night at 8pm at a cafe/bar near your place.

You decide and tell her.

And never, ever do dinner on a first date. As you don't drink I'd get coffee and tell her to try the Irish coffee

Exactly.

Actually I'd even go so far as picking just a Friday or Saturday, preferably Saturday. If she is truly interested then she won't say no to Saturday which is always the most popular night of the week, her response would be a good barometer.

The funny thing is though that you can never gauge from one meeting how much depth is possible in a relationship. People need to get to know each other and that requires conversation. I think that a week night is a little less intimidating and it avails the opportunity to establish that conversation and hopefully find a common ground. I agree that not doing dinner is a good decision. That seems terribly intimate and the connection required can be established over a drink. At a bar. McCoy doesn't have to drink alcohol but it will at least establish the acceptance by the girl that's its OK if she does (and don't tell me McCoy that you're not OK with a girl who drinks. You just dramatically reduced your pool if you expect a girl to not drink the way you do. It's also pretty disrespectful since there is nothing wrong with someone enjoying a few drinks).

I actually think that 6 or 6:30 is a good time. Close to finishing work (deepening of course when one finishes work), enough time for either party to spruce themselves up but not enough time to procrastinate or get overly nervous. And not dinner time. One doesn't want to be starving when meeting one for a first date. Just my opinion though.

The whole not drinking thing is just silly quite frankly. I mean McCoy seems to have had a bad experience with somebody who overdid it and he's going way over the top being picky which for somebody with his current level of success is a little optimistic to my mind.

Y'know McCoy it is possible to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a few cocktails on a night out without being a total raging alcoholic?

That said, maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice here as I've just bought a pack of Stella pint cans and set myself the challenge of finishing them all in the 27 minutes it takes me on the train to get from Widnes to Manchester Piccadilly after work tonight.

Edited April 11, 2014 by Dazey

[Guest Len B'stard]

Watch out, Aki's about, dont pass out on the train and wake up in his gimp dungeon

[Dazey]

Watch out, Aki's about, dont pass out on the train and wake up in his gimp dungeon

Y'know you say that as a joke but I still look out for the fucker every night on my commute home.

[Thin White Duke]

I agree McCoy isn't in a position to be this picky, given how desperate he is for finding someone. To find a girl who doesn't drink in this day and age surely is not an easy task (though I don't remember if he really cared that much for this aspect; I don't know if he said it's a definite no-no)... but then again, I don't see anything wrong with not wanting a person who drinks. It's like preferring a non-smoker. it's just a personal preference and we all have them when it comes to dating.

For what I've seen, he never was rude towards people who drink. He was never ddisrespectful about it. He just doesn't, and given that it is uncommon we think it's odd.

I said it before and I will say it again. We keep on telling him to be more confident and stand by himself, and the only times I see him showing some self confident and standing by himself is in things like this. He defends his musical taste, the highlights, the alcohol free lifestyle even when most people find it either ridiculous or bad. And, frankly, it's a contradiction.

Don't get me wrong, I think he should be less strict given how he is desperate to find someone but again, he is not looking for a one-day date, and if he wants a serious relationship, I don't see it working if he dates someone who has nothing in common with him.

The main problem is that he is looking for the wrong thing. He is not prepared for a long relationship.

My 2 cents.

[Guest Len B'stard]

Watch out, Aki's about, dont pass out on the train and wake up in his gimp dungeon

Y'know you say that as a joke but I still look out for the fucker every night on my commute home.

I really dont say it as a joke, i say it as a heads up

[Lithium]

The whole not drinking thing is just silly quite frankly. I mean McCoy seems to have had a bad experience with somebody who overdid it and he's going way over the top being picky which for somebody with his current level of success is a little optimistic to my mind.

Y'know McCoy it is possible to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a few cocktails on a night out without being a total raging alcoholic?

"It just isn't for me"

[Redhead74]

Y'know McCoy it is possible to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a few cocktails on a night out without being a total raging alcoholic?

That said, maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice here as I've just bought a pack of Stella pint cans and set myself the challenge of finishing them all in the 27 minutes it takes me on the train to get from Widnes to Manchester Piccadilly after work tonight.

So you didn't have to carry them home, naturally.

But yes, in all seriousness what is possibly wrong with having a glass or two of wine with dinner? You can drink as fast or as slow as you want, at the very least don't put pressure on the girl to not drink. If you do, you're only limiting your options considerably. There's a big difference between one that enjoys a social drink and an alcoholic,

[Facekicker]

Americans have a ridiculous hang up about alcohol, fuckin hell don't get me started.

[Redhead74]

Really? Why?

[Thin White Duke]

I love Ireland.

[Facekicker]

Really? Why?

When I lived there it was pretty fucking hilarious to be honest. Lets just say I was finished college early on a Friday and decided to go to the local bar for a beer and a game of pool.

Reaction "Oh my god are you an alcoholic?"

Got someone wasted on a Saturday night...next day they wouldn't shut up about having to go to the gym and no partying for a month. They were serious too.

Having a beer or wine with lunch...

"oh my god are you an alcoholic?"

This was all in the space of the first week or so that I was there.

I suppose the funniest thing was their reaction to my partying. I was there for a year, my priority wasn't college, it was having a good time. And I did. I went out every single night of the week and partied non-stop at weekends. Living in a dorm made it pretty hilarious when I'd come back late at night. The other students and RA's were all like - "Dude, you gotta stop partying and start knuckling down and doing some study or you are going to fail everything." They pretty much kept this up for the entire semester. Before Christmas they were saying goodbye to me because they were certain that I wouldn't be returning for the second semester

The look on their face the following semester when I walked back in with straight A's and a letter from the college president.

Priceless

Oh and I forgot to mention all the leaflets shoved under my door about the dangers of alcohol poisoning

[Dazey]

Really? Why?

When I lived there it was pretty fucking hilarious to be honest. Lets just say I was finished college early on a Friday and decided to go to the local bar for a beer and a game of pool.

Reaction "Oh my god are you an alcoholic?"

Got someone wasted on a Saturday night...next day they wouldn't shut up about having to go to the gym and no partying for a month. They were serious too.

Having a beer or wine with lunch...

"oh my god are you an alcoholic?"

This was all in the space of the first week or so that I was there.

I suppose the funniest thing was their reaction to my partying. I was there for a year, my priority wasn't college, it was having a good time. And I did. I went out every single night of the week and partied non-stop at weekends. Living in a dorm made it pretty hilarious when I'd come back late at night. The other students and RA's were all like - "Dude, you gotta stop partying and start knuckling down and doing some study or you are going to fail everything." They pretty much kept this up for the entire semester. Before Christmas they were saying goodbye to me because they were certain that I wouldn't be returning for the second semester

The look on their face the following semester when I walked back in with straight A's and a letter from the college president.

Priceless

Oh and I forgot to mention all the leaflets shoved under my door about the dangers of alcohol poisoning

Very much my experience when I was working on a summer camp over there.

[Thin White Duke]

The Americans on this forum must be a bunch of outcasts.

[Facekicker]

There are exceptions, but they are very much that...exceptions. I lived in Denver and San Francisco, went to college and worked with people from all different kinds of backgrounds, in the vast majority of cases they were very puritanical in their opinions regarding alcohol.

[Lithium]

Americans are weird as hell when it comes to some things. A good friend of mine spent a year as an exchange student in the US in high school, and when I saw he posted a status on fb that was just nonsense, I commented "did you start the day off with jagermeister again?" (in English), and he told me later on that he had to delete my comment because his American friends were so weird when it came to alcohol.

[Thin White Duke]

Face, I've never lived in America so I haven't any reason to not believe you. I am just saying that we have a good amount of Americans here and, for what I can see, only McCoy has a "problem" with alcohol. In fact, I see other threads and it's usually the opposite.

What you told about your experience in there is hilarious but I guess it's a cultural thing. In the end we are used to certain manners or habits and it's striking to see how other people react to things we consider normal.

I just don't care if someone drinks or not and I'm not gonna criticize them in any of the 2 cases. It's up to them.

This is the dog gate all over again but with alcohol instead.

Edited April 11, 2014 by Thin White Duke

[Dazey]

Face, I've never lived in America so I haven't any reason to not believe you. I am just saying that we have a good amount of Americans here and, for what I can see, only McCoy has a "problem" with alcohol. In fact, I see other threads and it's usually the opposite.

What you told about your experience in there is hilarious but I guess it's a cultural thing. In the end we are used to certain manners or habits and it's striking to see how other people react to things we consider normal.

I just don't care if someone drinks or not and I'm not gonna criticize them in any of the 2 cases. It's up to them.

This is the dog gate all over again but with alcohol instead.

I think there's more of an inclination in America to think of drinking as simply partying and getting drunk. There's not so much of the acceptance of simply drinking as a social activity.

[arnold layne]

Face, I've never lived in America so I haven't any reason to not believe you. I am just saying that we have a good amount of Americans here and, for what I can see, only McCoy has a "problem" with alcohol. In fact, I see other threads and it's usually the opposite.

What you told about your experience in there is hilarious but I guess it's a cultural thing. In the end we are used to certain manners or habits and it's striking to see how other people react to things we consider normal.

I just don't care if someone drinks or not and I'm not gonna criticize them in any of the 2 cases. It's up to them.

This is the dog gate all over again but with alcohol instead.

There's not so much of the acceptance of simply drinking as a social activity.

Yeah because ironically we label those who have two or three beers everyday an alcoholic, whereas the person who drinks to get white-girl wasted on the weekends is just your weekend warrior. Fuckin' stupid. This country doesn't take into consideration the amount you're drinking necessarily but rather the setting you choose to drink.

Edited April 11, 2014 by arnold layne

[Dazey]

Face, I've never lived in America so I haven't any reason to not believe you. I am just saying that we have a good amount of Americans here and, for what I can see, only McCoy has a "problem" with alcohol. In fact, I see other threads and it's usually the opposite.

What you told about your experience in there is hilarious but I guess it's a cultural thing. In the end we are used to certain manners or habits and it's striking to see how other people react to things we consider normal.

I just don't care if someone drinks or not and I'm not gonna criticize them in any of the 2 cases. It's up to them.

This is the dog gate all over again but with alcohol instead.

There's not so much of the acceptance of simply drinking as a social activity.

Yeah because ironically we label those who have two or three beers everyday an alcoholic, whereas the person who drinks to get white-girl wasted on the weekends is just your weekend warrior. Fuckin' stupid. This country doesn't take into consideration the amount your drinking necessarily but rather the setting you choose to drink.

I think you make a few very good points there.

Now if you'll all excuse me I'm off to get fucking paggered on the train home!

Edited April 11, 2014 by Dazey

[Thin White Duke]

I think there's more of an inclination in America to think of drinking as simply partying and getting drunk. There's not so much of the acceptance of simply drinking as a social activity.

Fair enough but, again, it's a cultural thing. They are not better or worse than us, they are just used to different staff or ways of socially interacting.

We are contradicting ourselves again. We are telling McCoy that his approach to alcohol is wrong, but then you're telling me Americans tend to have that same perception (perhaps not so strict), so maybe an American girl could understand him better?

If drinking as a social activity isn't widely accepted, there won't be that awkward moment during the first dates.

[arnold layne]

I once went to an extended family reunion and they served no alcohol.

Make no mistake. A flask is a good investment sometimes.

[Lithium]

I once went to an extended family reunion and they served no alcohol.

Make no mistake. A flask is a good investment sometimes.

Real talk.

[Lio]

I once went to an extended family reunion and they served no alcohol.

Make no mistake. A flask is a good investment sometimes.

Speaking of a flask. I knew someone who had a flask with pure alcohol with him at all times. He would just order cola or something in a bar or wherever, and then pour some alcohol in I'd never seen that before, nor since.