Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) This quickly turned into the most British thread ever.Takin' back the colonies one thread at a time! Gods country is Yorkshire, Redcar don't come under fuckin' Yorkshire...does it? Redcar is a seaside resort in the north east of England, and a major town in the unitary authority of Redcar and Cleveland in the ceremonial county of North Yorkshire.Suck my plums, we're close enough! Gods country my arse, it's just a two bit Clacton that no one goes too Fuck off y' soft cunt, I went there last Friday for openers and some bellend's just dropped £30 million on the sea front. Oh and by dropped £30 mill I mean spent it on improvements not that one of your mates from that article had popped up for a choc ice and some candy floss and lost his wallet! Edited July 17, 2012 by Dazey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7Gee3THtb8Look Dazey, Morrissey wrote a song about your home town! Proud? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 One about your mum too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Drama Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) Takin' back the colonies one thread at a time! Sod off yer colonist gobshite. You limey fucks couldnt organise a piss up in a fuckin brewery. Trust us convicts to get the shit done. All you bellends got taking back colonies is Pakis from breakfast to asshole, episodes of Neighbours that are 4 fuckin' months late and my old country's tea for you poonces to drink to keep up your facade as a bunch of snooty twats. Edited July 17, 2012 by Johnny Drama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Takin' back the colonies one thread at a time! Sod off yer colonist gobshite. You limey fucks couldnt organise a piss up in a fuckin brewery. Trust us convicts to get the shit done. All you bellends got taking back colonies is Pakis from breakfast to asshole, episodes of Neighbours that are 4 fuckin' months late and my old country's tea for you poonces to drink to keep up your facade as a bunch of snooty twats.You lot can fuck right off too! If it weren't for us bein' partial to a nice cuppa while running rule over the empire you'd still be shitting in ditches and doing each other's war paint y' swarthy foreign fuck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Drama Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Takin' back the colonies one thread at a time! Sod off yer colonist gobshite. You limey fucks couldnt organise a piss up in a fuckin brewery. Trust us convicts to get the shit done. All you bellends got taking back colonies is Pakis from breakfast to asshole, episodes of Neighbours that are 4 fuckin' months late and my old country's tea for you poonces to drink to keep up your facade as a bunch of snooty twats.You lot can fuck right off too! If it weren't for us bein' partial to a nice cuppa while running rule over the empire you'd still be shitting in ditches and doing each other's war paint y' swarthy foreign fuck! Hey I might be brown as your septic crown but I'm still mostly Portuguese and Dutch so I got even more reason to hate you lot haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Takin' back the colonies one thread at a time! Sod off yer colonist gobshite. You limey fucks couldnt organise a piss up in a fuckin brewery. Trust us convicts to get the shit done. All you bellends got taking back colonies is Pakis from breakfast to asshole, episodes of Neighbours that are 4 fuckin' months late and my old country's tea for you poonces to drink to keep up your facade as a bunch of snooty twats.You lot can fuck right off too! If it weren't for us bein' partial to a nice cuppa while running rule over the empire you'd still be shitting in ditches and doing each other's war paint y' swarthy foreign fuck! Hey I might be brown as your septic crown but I'm still mostly Portuguese and Dutch so I got even more reason to hate you lot haha.So you stayed indoors for a couple of weeks out of the sun, called yourself Jurgen and blagged the coastguard? I was gonna ask how you got into Oz like, I'd heard the navy were shelling all the banana boats trying to sneak ashore! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 One about your mum too! There ain't much comin' back from that, is there? @JD: Australia was concieved by Scotland Yard so as to give criminals a sporting chance. Natural born hunters y'see, it's no fun chasing em round this tiny little island, get em all in the end though, just ask Ikey Solomon (you can't, cuz he's dead!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Drama Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 One about your mum too! There ain't much comin' back from that, is there? @JD: Australia was concieved by Scotland Yard so as to give criminals a sporting chance. Natural born hunters y'see, it's no fun chasing em round this tiny little island, get em all in the end though, just ask Ikey Solomon (you can't, cuz he's dead!)I'm gonna guess ol Ikey by the sounds of it was a four wheel skid in which case he had zero chance to boot with your lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I'm gonna guess ol Ikey by the sounds of it was a four wheel skid in which case he had zero chance to boot with your lot. I'm just kidding, love yous lot really, if it weren't for yous lot, where would English tv shows of the 70s spin off to, eh? Love Thy Neighbour...in Australia!!! Alf Garnett in Oz! Steptoe and Son in the sun! When you're fresh out of ideas and you can't think of shit, just sling a fuckin' corkhat on their heads and ship em out to the penal colony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdHeartBreaker Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 y'cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zint Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Can we get a slang thread going or something so we know what the fuck you guys are talking about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Can we get a slang thread going or something so we know what the fuck you guys are talking about? I think it's often best you don't if I'm honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) Can we get a slang thread going or something so we know what the fuck you guys are talking about? Hey, if you can understand Quadrophenia you can understand me Dunno bout Dazey, bit funny round his ways, truth be told no one understands the cunts, it's just everyone knows that the shit-shovelling underclass don't really have a lot to say for themselves anyway, clock in, clock out, going down the pub, whatever shit they're mumbling it usually amounts to one of those three so you just nod politely and wait for them to leave...then wait for the smell to leave Edited July 17, 2012 by sugaraylen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) Can we get a slang thread going or something so we know what the fuck you guys are talking about? Hey, if you can understand Quadrophenia you can understand me Dunno bout Dazey, bit funny round his ways, truth be told no one understands the cunts, it's just everyone knows that the shit-shovelling underclass don't really have a lot to say for themselves anyway, clock in, clock out, going down the pub, whatever shit they're mumbling it usually amounts to one of those three so you just nod politely and wait for them to leave...then wait for the smell to leave Oi, at least it's a fuckin' good honest smell y' curry munching cunt! Nowt wrong with a bit of Wright's Coal Tar and Dettol and it's hard to do much more than dip yer bollocks and give yer arse a bit of a swilling in a tin bath in the fuckin' pottin' shed! Edited July 17, 2012 by Dazey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Can we get a slang thread going or something so we know what the fuck you guys are talking about? Hey, if you can understand Quadrophenia you can understand me Dunno bout Dazey, bit funny round his ways, truth be told no one understands the cunts, it's just everyone knows that the shit-shovelling underclass don't really have a lot to say for themselves anyway, clock in, clock out, going down the pub, whatever shit they're mumbling it usually amounts to one of those three so you just nod politely and wait for them to leave...then wait for the smell to leave Oi, at least it's a fuckin' good honest smell y' curry munching cunt! Nowt wrong with a bit of Wright's Coal Tar and Dettol and it's hard to do much more than dip yer bollocks and give yer arse a bit of a going over in a tin bath in the fuckin' pottin' shed! This is how fuckin' backward you lot are, when i went to Kashmir, a third world fuckin' country, that Coal Tar soap is what they use over there...and i'm talking about like, the fuckin' poverty stricken ones, the ones up in the towns and citys can afford a bar of dove like even the commonest person down south I'm talking about the sort of poverty where no one can afford shoes so you wear rubber slippers You might've been better off over there, least the waters clean. And white skin is a sign of beauty there, blimey they wanna have a wander round here in the early hours, they'd soon change their mind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zint Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) White skin is a sign of beauty!So how the fuck when I tell em all that down the local takeaway I always get a clip round the earhole? Honestly it's one rule for............... Edited July 17, 2012 by Dazey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Projected Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Oh dear god I'm so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 White skin is a sign of beauty!So how the fuck when I tell em all that down the local takeaway I always get a clip round the earhole? Honestly it's one rule for...............I was being quite serious about that y'know. I think it's from the old thing where, y'know, fair has always been considered a sign of beauty throughout human history, y'know, fair maiden and all that bollocks. It's a weird kinda culture shock thing but when you're over there you realise that, y'know, there are parts of the world that find things that you think are quite common to be quite amazing. Like i had a magazine of some sort and i'm reading it and all these little girls are like going gooey over some picture of some bird like wow she's so pretty and look at her skin and wow, are all girls in England like that etc etc, it's kinda sweet actually.The flipside of that is, they've never seen a black person in their fuckin life? Honest to God, this is gonna sound like a piss-take but this one little girl, saw the inside cover of the 2Pac album All Eyez On Me and she was literally terrified, she jus freaked at the sight of this picture of bald headed tupac and his weird looking leather dungaree thing that he appeared to be wearing. At first i didn't know what she was freaking out about, later her mum comes round and has a go at me for showing her daughter scary pictures and how she wouldn't be able to sleep at night after seeing em, it was then that it dawned on me that good ol' bald headed black as the ace of spades tupac was like, an anomoly to her. Quite apart from anything else, she'd never seen a completely clean shaven round fuckin' head before either, the whole package to her must've looked like some sort of fuckin demon, it was fuckin' hilairous. They ain't racist or anything they've just literally never seen anything like it, some of em, especially little kids and that. That and tattoos all up and down the arms, they've never seen nothing like it, i mean people have titchy little tattoos over there but nothing approaching all up and down the arms.But yeah, white skin is considered beautiful over there. A lot of them Indian actresses bleach their skin? As a cosmetic thing, like they regularly bleach their skin? I find that fundamentally repugnant and indicative of like...a lack of a sense of self worth. But they don't really even look at it that way, to them it's like a cosmetic tool y'know? And hey, shows my hypocrisy up cuz i say that about skin bleaching but i got no problem with tanning and that.WOAHH, i've gone on a ramble there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Broskirose Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Can we get back on topic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Can we get back on topic?What topic was that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SONOFABITCH Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Hide the illegal stuff at someone else's house and then call the cops, or fight the guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Broskirose Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Can we get back on topic?What topic was that? Arnold is in danger and all you fags want to do is talk spanish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 This guy may or may not have killed someone. Either way he's getting the hell out of here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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