Has anyone ever had any interesting criminal experiences?

[PappyTron]

A strange title for a thread, but I was just thinking back on a time, about 20 years ago, when I stumbled on a shipment of drugs and cash that was worth high hundreds of thousands of Dollars. To cut the story short, I was in a car park waiting to be picked up and there was this van parked over in the corner that looked all beaten up, like something you'd see in a Hollywood film. I was bored and it looked kind of cool so I went over to take a look as it had little curtains over the windows. Well, through the curtains I could see some duffelbags just sitting there, right in the middle of the back of the van, and that seemed kind of weird (I just knew that something was off) and I was tempted to get a closer look, if you get my meaning. Anyway, my ride arrived and I left, only a few days later there was a newspaper article that a van had been busted with cocaine and cash in it and that it had been sitting there under surveillance for a week. So, a lucky break for me, in the end.

I have no idea why the above came to me. Maybe Snake-Pit has gotten inside my mind.

[Len Cnut]

Not really a big one for crime myself, was a bit of a tea leaf as a kid, yknow, silly stuff, thieving out of shops etc.  I know a fair bit about drug dealing etc based on knowing so many of the bastards (in fact i know all the major boys in the local area) but other than that I'm rather fond of my freedom.  Got three arrests, two for drinking driving and one for GBH (weren't my fault, self defence).

A lot of my close pals are either inside, have been inside but I'm a delicate little flower, I dont think I'd fancy doing porridge.

[Eric Cantona]

3 hours ago, PappyTron said:

A strange title for a thread, but I was just thinking back on a time, about 20 years ago, when I stumbled on a shipment of drugs and cash that was worth high hundreds of thousands of Dollars. To cut the story short, I was in a car park waiting to be picked up and there was this van parked over in the corner that looked all beaten up, like something you'd see in a Hollywood film. I was bored and it looked kind of cool so I went over to take a look as it had little curtains over the windows. Well, through the curtains I could see some duffelbags just sitting there, right in the middle of the back of the van, and that seemed kind of weird (I just knew that something was off) and I was tempted to get a closer look, if you get my meaning. Anyway, my ride arrived and I left, only a few days later there was a newspaper article that a van had been busted with cocaine and cash in it and that it had been sitting there under surveillance for a week. So, a lucky break for me, in the end.

I have no idea why the above came to me. Maybe Snake-Pit has gotten inside my mind.

Didn't you squeeze all those biceps?

[PappyTron]

11 hours ago, Len Cnut said:

Not really a big one for crime myself, was a bit of a tea leaf as a kid, yknow, silly stuff, thieving out of shops etc.  I know a fair bit about drug dealing etc based on knowing so many of the bastards (in fact i know all the major boys in the local area) but other than that I'm rather fond of my freedom.  Got three arrests, two for drinking driving and one for GBH (weren't my fault, self defence).

A lot of my close pals are either inside, have been inside but I'm a delicate little flower, I dont think I'd fancy doing porridge.

Well, I wasn't expecting anyone to regale us with their stories of the time they kneecapped someone over an unpayed debt, Len! I was thinking more of odd situations that people have found themselves in that have a criminal element to them. For example, I once, unknowingly, went to a drug deal with someone who didn't bother to tell me where we were going. It was just "Oh, Pappy, I just need to go and grab something from XYZ. Fancy coming along? It'll only be ten minutes". So, we go wandering down to, if I remember right, Highbury Quadrant Estate, to find this flat that my friend is looking for. Eventually, after much searching, we find it, to be greeted by a Yardie by the sobriquet of "Greedy". Turns out I've been dragged to a drug deal, and as we step inside the door is locked and bolted and I start to get a feeling that my friend has dropped me in the plop. My hunch doubled down when I noticed that Greedy was obviously armed and not someone you'd invite over for strawberry mousse. Anyway, it turns out the Greedy is just the middleman and we are all waiting in this dingy flat, which stinks of marijuana, for the courier to arrive. Anyway, eventually he does and my friend starts to inspect the goods. So far, so good. So, Greedy asks me to cut him in on a taste of the brick, as his payment, and whilst I'm talking to him (well, struggling to understand his accent) my friend says to the courier, and I shit you not, "Hey, here's my number, so you can call me directly in future rather than dealing through Greedy". As you can guess, our host was not best pleased and, literally, threatened to shoot my friend right then and there, and roll him up in carpet. It honestly felt like that scene in Snatch where Mickey batters the driver over the caravan and the voice-over is going "Well, Tommy, the right tit, is in it now, 'cause if George don't wake up in the next five minutes he'll be getting it too".

The funniest part of the above, is that after we left and I gave my friend the mother of all bollockings, he looks at me and says "What? What did I do?".

Edited October 26, 2016 by PappyTron

[Dan H.]

One time this dude stole my phone, so I texted it from a different phone claiming to be the police, and told them that we were gonna send a SWAT team to raid them.

This person was obviously super dumb because they believed me, and dropped the phone off at a local movie store counter after I told them to leave it there. Was pretty funny that it all worked out that way lol

Otherwise I've done a bunch of different drugs, but I consider them "illegal" not "criminal"

I've shop lifted before, usually just liquor bottles when I was a kid.

Don't think I've ever done anything that would be considered a felony.

I've only been arrested once: Was drinking with an under 21er and we got caught, she narced on me so I sat in jail for like two hours until someone bailed me out.

Edited October 26, 2016 by Dan H.

[Apollo]

While being poor college students, my roommate and I met a dude who seemed pretty cool a couple apartments down from us. 

One night after a lot of drinking he convinced us to rob the factory that he worked at. And by rob I mean unbolt 10 candy/gum/toy machines that were in front of the warehouse where he worked. 

We drove there in the middle of the night. Unbolted the machines. Threw them in our truck. Went home and cracked them open. And ended up with almost $500 in quarters.

He then drove and tossed the machines into the river. 

We stopped hanging out with him when he wanted to step it up to robbing radio and equipment out of airplanes from a private airfield. And he had the floor plans and alarm security set up information for a small hardware store. His plan was to crawl up into the ceiling in the bathroom and wait for the store to close. And then rob the place. 

About a year later he made the front page of the newspaper. He managed to break into a major airlines and steal like 50 computers. But his ex-girlfriend ratted him out. I think he got 4-5 years in jail for that one. 

[PappyTron]

2 minutes ago, Apollo said:

While being poor college students, my roommate and I met a dude who seemed pretty cool a couple apartments down from us. 

One night after a lot of drinking he convinced us to rob the factory that he worked at. And by rob I mean unbolt 10 candy/gum/toy machines that were in front of the warehouse where he worked. 

We drove there in the middle of the night. Unbolted the machines. Threw them in our truck. Went home and cracked them open. And ended up with almost $500 in quarters.

He then drove and tossed the machines into the river. 

We stopped hanging out with him when he wanted to step it up to robbing radio and equipment out of airplanes from a private airfield. And he had the floor plans and alarm security set up information for a small hardware store. His plan was to crawl up into the ceiling in the bathroom and wait for the store to close. And then rob the place. 

About a year later he made the front page of the newspaper. He managed to break into a major airlines and steal like 50 computers. But his ex-girlfriend ratted him out. I think he got 4-5 years in jail for that one. 

How exactly did he broach the conversation with you?

"So, these Budweisers are really great. Aren't they great? Who wants to help me rob my workplace?

[Snake-Pit]

Only an idiot'll steal a phone and not turn off.  

[Dazey]

12 minutes ago, Snake-Pit said:

Only an idiot'll steal a phone .  

[Snake-Pit]

Just now, Dazey said:

Touché

[PappyTron]

What are you meant to do with a stolen phone anyway? I mean, isn't it the phone that gets locked, not the SIM?

[Len Cnut]

19 minutes ago, PappyTron said:

What are you meant to do with a stolen phone anyway? I mean, isn't it the phone that gets locked, not the SIM?

They do some shit to em and send em abroad.  Got some more stories for this thread but I'm a bit mash up right now.

[PappyTron]

2 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

They do some shit to em and send em abroad.  Got some more stories for this thread but I'm a bit mash up right now.

Send 'em to uncle Abdul in Karachi. What are you skinned on, blud? Is it weed, fam?

[AxlsFavoriteRose]

in the final part of living w/the drug dealing horrid ex we had just a wonderful experience due to my Hell's Angel neighbor. as usual the horrid ex was out doing and selling drugs with some of his friends/customers in the garage. suddenly i heard all this commotion and i saw a whole bunch of heavily armored swat vans right next to the fence that divided Hell's Angels house from ours. i saw the head swat guy talking to horrid ex then horrid ex said the police had a tip that our neighbor had murdered some guy and was holed up in his house. he said we needed to evacuate the premises, he said we could grab a few things and leave. horrid ex stashed a bunch of drugs in the vacuum and we went around the corner where the sister of one of horrid ex's friends lived. a few minutes we heard the very loud sound of semi automatics going off. several hours later they came back. it was early morning by then and i saw they had shot out every window in the Hell's Angels house. he actually came home later and explained that his friend Charlie had murdered some guy in a fight and was going to hide at the Head Angel's house. smfh...good times!

[Len Cnut]

9 hours ago, PappyTron said:

Send 'em to uncle Abdul in Karachi. What are you skinned on, blud? Is it weed, fam?

Its always weed

[Silverburst80]

Got chased by cops in a stolen r-x7, that was interesting..... Had a little joy ride phase when i was 15-16 i'm not proud of.

[PappyTron]

3 hours ago, Len Cnut said:

Its always weed

For real, blud. What happened to that acid, fam? You get me?

[Len Cnut]

31 minutes ago, PappyTron said:

For real, blud. What happened to that acid, fam? You get me?

Blud, man are HAM ROLLLLLLSSS fam, chattin'  bout acid fam but they dont even come through

[PappyTron]

He's the best thing about boxing, for me.

[Dazey]

7 hours ago, PappyTron said:

For real, blud. What happened to that acid, fam? You get me?

That wasn't even words. You went to Oxford? Shame on you!

[Len Cnut]

52 minutes ago, Dazey said:

That wasn't even words. You went to Oxford? Shame on you!

i hope this goes some way towards explaining

[Dazey]

20 minutes ago, Len Cnut said:

i hope this goes some way towards explaining

I lasted about 30 seconds before I started to twitch.

[PappyTron]

5 minutes ago, Dazey said:

I lasted about 30 seconds before I started to twitch.

Nobody wants to read about your sex life!

[Fitha_whiskey]

I've had a few brushes with the law, but by skill and lots of luck, I have a clean record, if not reputation. This is probably my favorite story to tell, especially when you're sitting around smoking some shrub. 

1995, age 25, I still lived in upstate NY. I worked at an insurance company then, and had a good friend there that I loved to party with. He & I went to a bar one night, to meet up with a chick we worked with that liked me, and her friend. Kinda like a double one sided blind date but not really. Joe had this weird but hilarious pickup line- somehow he would work into the conversation that he "had his father's eyes". A chick would inevitably say- "oh really"? And he would pull out of his pocket these fuckin marble like fuckin glass eye balls that rolled around in fluid under the glass. It was funny and would work on a chick with the right sense of humor.

Me & Joe are shooting some pool, kicking ass & obviously impressing the ladies. We ask if they'd like to smoke a J in the parking lot with us. They decline, we decide to go smoke that J (we have already been into some things of course). Me &Joe are sitting in my truck, halfway thru a nice fat joint while listening to the Allman Brothers on cassette. A car pulls into the crowded parking lot, no big deal. It cruises thru the lot when it gets near us. Then bam! Cop spotlight thru my windshield! 2 NYS troopers jump out of their car, run up and just straight up open both side doors of my truck! (Don't get me going on illegal search and seizure. But I digress). The dope smoke rolled out like Cheech n Chong in Up in Smoke. We were busted.

Now at that time, the pot law in NY was really quite liberal for small quantities. So they tell us get out, and empty your pockets onto the truck hood. I lay out my wallet, a pack of Winston Lights and a Bic lighter. Joe lays out some cash, a bag of about 1/8 oz of weed, and.... his father's eyes. Those fuckin things roll off my hood and onto the ground. As fucked as we were, but still really high, he & I looked at each other across the truck hood, hands on it, and let out the stoner chuckle...

Well now. The super troopers have found a massive stash of 1/8 oz of weed and smell blood in the water. Super trooper #1 turns his attention to my box of Winston Lights... He opens it up and looks for more joints like any good super trooper would. There were no more joints- we were just gonna roll more off my buddy's 8th.

Now in those days in NY state, cocaine was a "controlled substance". Probably still is- not sure, I haven't lived there in 20 years. But it meant that even a small amount of coke = felony. No bueno. Now Winston Lights back then didn't come in a clear cellophane wrapper. They came in an opaque foil wrapper. In my pack's foil wrapper was a piece of paper containing some coke, enough for about 6-8 nice rails. And quite possibly jail time, at least a certain felony...

Anyway, cop doesn't find it. Writes us pot tickets (that we paid $60 for and done).

*the old lady got home. Gotta go- will continue in a while*...,

 

 

[Fitha_whiskey]

So anyway, cop of course tells me, don't think about driving home tonight. I'm thinking no problem, we got the chick that likes me in there, plus other people I knew in there. But I did also notice while we were in the back of the cop car getting our tickets that a lot of people were leaving. We go back in- bitches gone. Like 10 drunks left who hadn't heard the cops were in the parking lot...

So, those days there's no cell phones. No Uber. I say let's have a couple drinks, the cops will find something else to do, we'll roll out later.

Gotta drive like 20 miles to my buddy's house (mine was like 30). Of course about halfway we pass a cop, he gets behind us and starts to follow. Obviously by any standard I'm fucked up at this point. My tiger blood kicks in (wasted can relate). I keep her between the lines and we finally make it to Joe's house.

He breaks out more weed (he had plenty, plenty more at home), I chop out 2 massive fuckin rails and say: "you realize this coke was literally in the hands of a NYS trooper tonight?"

He says: "Man, you are one cool mother fucker under pressure".

Still one of the best compliments anyone has ever gave me...

Sorry for the long story. I'm really drunk.