Ace Nova Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) Pretty much every time I wake up after a night of drinking and read what I posted on mygnrforum the night before. Years back I was having sex with a girl at a party, both of us were really really drunk. The girl throws up right in the middle of it, all over my arm/bed/pillows....... we keep going Wasn't that in a movie? Edited December 17, 2013 by Kasanova King Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 No doubt Tucker Max 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Nova Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I had to ask this bird's 17 year old son where my cowboy boots where after I'd just nailed his mum and spent half the night hiding in the cupboard from his violent ex stepdad until the police arrived to drag him away to jail. What!?You need to elaborate....what did the ex husband just show up in the middle of the night or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 When I was in high school I was at a party and dumped some strong blotter acid, and while peaking out I thought this chick was asking me if I was interested in a romance, and I said no.When I saw her at school again I said I would actually go out with her and I just couldn't deal with that sort of thing while tripping.It turns out she was asking me if I needed an ambulance 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forsaken Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Pretty much every time I wake up after a night of drinking and read what I posted on mygnrforum the night before. Years back I was having sex with a girl at a party, both of us were really really drunk. The girl throws up right in the middle of it, all over my arm/bed/pillows....... we keep going Wasn't that in a movie? No doubt Tucker Max Haha really? I've never seen it before, now I must watch to see that scene 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Nova Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 When I was in high school I was at a party and dumped some strong blotter acid, and while peaking out I thought this chick was asking me if I was interested in a romance, and I said no.When I saw her at school again I said I would actually go out with her and I just couldn't deal with that sort of thing while tripping.It turns out she was asking me if I needed an ambulance :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wfuckinga Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 When I was in high school I was at a party and dumped some strong blotter acid, and while peaking out I thought this chick was asking me if I was interested in a romance, and I said no.When I saw her at school again I said I would actually go out with her and I just couldn't deal with that sort of thing while tripping.It turns out she was asking me if I needed an ambulance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Star Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 One of these days, back when I was in college, I was heading to the lab for class and I decided to take an alternate route, a narrow sidewalk going through a small campus construction site, which ended on a small dirt slope. I went ahead and tried to step down the slope only to fail miserably and fall down, getting all muddy in the proccess. I didn't have time to go change, so I just showed up all dirty and people asked what had happen with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Pretty much every time I wake up after a night of drinking and read what I posted on mygnrforum the night before. Years back I was having sex with a girl at a party, both of us were really really drunk. The girl throws up right in the middle of it, all over my arm/bed/pillows....... we keep going Wasn't that in a movie? No doubt Tucker Max Haha really? I've never seen it before, now I must watch to see that scene I may be wrong - but if not, it's probably in one of his books. Pretty funny film (think American Pie-esque) - although it's not a classic per se. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) I had to ask this bird's 17 year old son where my cowboy boots where after I'd just nailed his mum and spent half the night hiding in the cupboard from his violent ex stepdad until the police arrived to drag him away to jail. What!?You need to elaborate....what did the ex husband just show up in the middle of the night or something? Basically I was out on the piss in this club back home and I got talking to this bird over a few drinks. She was a good bit older than me but seemed in decent shape so she was still very attractive. Anyways we end up going back to her house and getting it on and wotnot in the bedroom upstairs. After doing the business and all that we both crashed out somewhere around three or four am.I woke up at around five or six to a knocking at the bedroom door and some strange bloke's voice."Kate? Kate? You in there?"So I'm starting to panic just a tad and she's awake by now looking a little nervous too."Kate??? Have you got a fella in there?" "I'll fuckin' kill the both of you you fuckin' slag!!!!!"Getting very worried at this point when I notice something a little odd about the bedroom door. Have a think to yourself about all the bedroom doors in your house yeah? All open inwards don't they? This one opened outwards and the frame had been reinforced so it couldn't get kicked in as easily."Oh it's a special door cuz he gets violent from time to time so I just run up here and lock myself in."Anyway it turns out that she'd kicked him out a while back but the fucker just doesn't know when to take fuck off for an answer! So he's braying fuck out of the door by now, she's on the phone to the filth and I'm being the big brave man hiding in the bottom of her wardrobe in my underpants reading an old copy of The Beano that I found in there. I'm wondering to myself what the odds are that I can jump out of the window and leg it before he realises what's going on which is when the cops arrive to drag him away to the cells kicking, screaming and calling us both all the cunts under the sun. So anyway once it's all quietened down and wotnot I had a couple more goes on his old lady before making my excuses and getting up to leave. Walked down the stairs into the living room and her teenage son's sitting there on the couch playing on his DS. I nod hello to him pull my boots on and get the fuck out of there sharpish. Edited December 17, 2013 by Dazey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Nice one!I have also once legged it out the bedroom window movie style when the girl I was fucking's brick shithouse, facially tattooed islander boyfriend came home unexpectedly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I was working behind a bar a few years ago and my mate arrived at last orders to pick me up and take me to a party. I'd been putting away as many halves of lager as I could manage in the last hour or so of my shift. We were in the car and I could feel a fart coming on so I thought it would be hilarious to take off my seatbelt, stick my arse in his face and let rip. Shat my pants with a fuckin' vengence and had to pull over and wipe myself down in a layby with a pack of tissues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 I was working behind a bar a few years ago and my mate arrived at last orders to pick me up and take me to a party. I'd been putting away as many halves of lager as I could manage in the last hour or so of my shift. We were in the car and I could feel a fart coming on so I thought it would be hilarious to take off my seatbelt, stick my arse in his face and let rip. Shat my pants with a fuckin' vengence and had to pull over and wipe myself down in a layby with a pack of tissues. Okay, you win this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 my girlfriendHere we go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Nova Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I had to ask this bird's 17 year old son where my cowboy boots where after I'd just nailed his mum and spent half the night hiding in the cupboard from his violent ex stepdad until the police arrived to drag him away to jail. What!?You need to elaborate....what did the ex husband just show up in the middle of the night or something? Basically I was out on the piss in this club back home and I got talking to this bird over a few drinks. She was a good bit older than me but seemed in decent shape so she was still very attractive. Anyways we end up going back to her house and getting it on and wotnot in the bedroom upstairs. After doing the business and all that we both crashed out somewhere around three or four am.I woke up at around five or six to a knocking at the bedroom door and some strange bloke's voice."Kate? Kate? You in there?"So I'm starting to panic just a tad and she's awake by now looking a little nervous too."Kate??? Have you got a fella in there?" "I'll fuckin' kill the both of you you fuckin' slag!!!!!"Getting very worried at this point when I notice something a little odd about the bedroom door. Have a think to yourself about all the bedroom doors in your house yeah? All open inwards don't they? This one opened outwards and the frame had been reinforced so it couldn't get kicked in as easily."Oh it's a special door cuz he gets violent from time to time so I just run up here and lock myself in."Anyway it turns out that she'd kicked him out a while back but the fucker just doesn't know when to take fuck off for an answer! So he's braying fuck out of the door by now, she's on the phone to the filth and I'm being the big brave man hiding in the bottom of her wardrobe in my underpants reading an old copy of The Beano that I found in there. I'm wondering to myself what the odds are that I can jump out of the window and leg it before he realises what's going on which is when the cops arrive to drag him away to the cells kicking, screaming and calling us both all the cunts under the sun. So anyway once it's all quietened down and wotnot I had a couple more goes on his old lady before making my excuses and getting up to leave. Walked down the stairs into the living room and her teenage son's sitting there on the couch playing on his DS. I nod hello to him pull my boots on and get the fuck out of there sharpish. Fucking classic!! You could definitely include that in your autobiography or future screen-write! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I don't have many awkward moments because there will be days where I say less than 100 words I bet. Even when around others I don't have much to say. With that said I have said some stupid shit but who hasn't honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wfuckinga Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 my girlfriend Here we go...I'm 19 what the fuck is she supposed to be? My wife? My misstress? Stop with the miser bullshit, mods (plural) have said I'm not him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 my girlfriend Here we go...I'm 19 what the fuck is she supposed to be? My wife? My misstress? Stop with the miser bullshit, mods (plural) have said I'm not him.Alright alright, don't get all Miser about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Cool. That's not going to stop people from saying the actual fact that you post exactly like him. I personally don't give a shit who you are but you cannot blame people who do because he is/was a genuine fuck and people remember that. Deal with it for the moment and it will eventually blow over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wfuckinga Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 my girlfriend Here we go...I'm 19 what the fuck is she supposed to be? My wife? My misstress? Stop with the miser bullshit, mods (plural) have said I'm not him. Alright alright, don't get all Miser about it Seriously though it's starting to get annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tater Totts Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 When I was a kid I learnt how to swim like most children, however I never really went on holiday much so never did much swimming outside of learning.Now flip forward to me being 11 years old, my first year at secondary school where I just want to be anonymous and not bring any attention to myself, it gets to summer and we have to do swimming races in PE.The other students are good, most of them really good and far better than I so my confidence was shot. As in most swim races we dive in from the deep end to start, before we begin I ask my teacher to sit it out as I am not confident. He says no, I push the issue after about a minute my teacher loses his patience after one kid speaks up and says that if I am not confident I shouldn't have to do the race. My teacher obviously thinks I am faking and don't want to swim and actually says to me, "if you don't do this I will give you detention."Being a scared nervous kid I agreed, 3, 2, 1 and I dive in when the race starts and the first few seconds go well before the panic sets in. I end up having a panic attack in the pool, my teacher has to dive in and save me to stop me from drowning.So my teacher who threatened me with detention if I didn't jump in ends up saving me, he gets a load of credit for doing it when it would never have occurred if he had listened.The next day at school all of my friends knew, all of their friends knew, even people I didn't know from the years above me knew and even the teachers knew. For my entire school career whenever someone new joined my year I was introduced to them as "the kid that jumped into the pool and almost drowned." Every girl I met would find out within five minutes of meeting my friends about the time that I almost drowned at school. What really takes the cake was in the sixth form when lots of girls joined (Male only Grammar school until sixth form when it is mixed), I began chatting to one in the first week of term and needless to say my friends told her the story. She then told us all about how even people at her school had heard about that story when it happened 6 years earlier, thankfully by that point I saw the funny side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 I don't have many awkward moments because there will be days where I say less than 100 words I bet.Even when around others I don't have much to say. With that said I have said some stupid shit but who hasn't honestly.What about that time when that girl in your class said "at least he showered today" to her friend when you walked past her? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tater Totts Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I don't have many awkward moments because there will be days where I say less than 100 words I bet.Even when around others I don't have much to say. With that said I have said some stupid shit but who hasn't honestly.What about that time when that girl in your class said "at least he showered today" to her friend when you walked past her?She wanted the D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wfuckinga Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I don't have many awkward moments because there will be days where I say less than 100 words I bet.Even when around others I don't have much to say. With that said I have said some stupid shit but who hasn't honestly. What about that time when that girl in your class said "at least he showered today" to her friend when you walked past her? She wanted the D.It's obvious she did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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