Embarrassing/awkward incidents

[ThinkAboutYou]

I probably could add a page to this thread

[Broskirose]

Pretty much all of my stories involve uncontrollable laughter at REALLY inappropriate moments.

[DR DOOM]

I used to work with a down syndrome dude who is really...charismatic or something- he is a character.

Anyway, being the cunt that I am I can imitate his voice really well (what a talent)- this one day at work he was off to a photo shoot for his bowling team and his mum was picking him up at 12.

So it's like 5 to 12 and he is getting into his team outfit in the toilet, and they called for him over the PA to come up the front of the store.

Now it was this guy's job to do all the menial tasks like clean up spills, return broken products etc-and he hated doing it.

So I know this dude is getting changed, so I go up to do it for him, and as I was rogering the girl at the register who called him I came up to her and go " yeah what do you want?" in this downer dude's voice, mimicking his mannerisms and all for a laugh.

I notice the funny look on her face, then the lady standing next to her looking unamused...the girl goes "ahh... (down syndrome dude's) mother is here"...

I get that sinking feeling, and go "ohh, right" suddenly back to my normal voice, and I had to walk Mrs DS Dude's Mother out the back with my tail between my legs.

Then, as we get out the back- he is there and proudly introduces us...she just goes "yes, weve already met" and that was the first time I met his mother

Another funny one was where this fucking hot blonde bird would come to the store to merchandise, and she was walking through the back and my down syndrome mate puts his hands behind his head and starts pelvic thrusting/gyrating/humping the air as he sticks his filthy tongue out after she has walked past...anyway she turned around and caught him, fuck it was awkward and everybody just vanished leaving him there mid thrust

[ThinkAboutYou]

I used to work with a down syndrome dude who is really...charismatic or something- he is a character.

Anyway, being the cunt that I am I can imitate his voice really well (what a talent)- this one day at work he was off to a photo shoot for his bowling team and his mum was picking him up at 12.

So it's like 5 to 12 and he is getting into his team outfit in the toilet, and they called for him over the PA to come up the front of the store.

Now it was this guy's job to do all the menial tasks like clean up spills, return broken products etc-and he hated doing it.

So I know this dude is getting changed, so I go up to do it for him, and as I was rogering the girl at the register who called him I came up to her and go " yeah what do you want?" in this downer dude's voice, mimicking his mannerisms and all for a laugh.

I notice the funny look on her face, then the lady standing next to her looking unamused...the girl goes "ahh... (down syndrome dude's) mother is here"...

I get that sinking feeling, and go "ohh, right" suddenly back to my normal voice, and I had to walk Mrs DS Dude's Mother out the back with my tail between my legs.

Then, as we get out the back- he is there and proudly introduces us...she just goes "yes, weve already met" and that was the first time I met his mother

Another funny one was where this fucking hot blonde bird would come to the store to merchandise, and she was walking through the back and my down syndrome mate puts his hands behind his head and starts pelvic thrusting/gyrating/humping the air as he sticks his filthy tongue out after she has walked past...anyway she turned around and caught him, fuck it was awkward and everybody just vanished leaving him there mid thrust

He seemed to have some serious attitude. I would of loved to have seen the look on her face

[Dazey]

A few years ago now my mate Paul got free tickets to Reading Festival through his record company and took me and another lad along with him. Got us camping in the backstage area and VIP passes to all the swanky bars away from the fucking little nobheads running around burning tents and shit as is par for the course at that godawful place. Anyway we spent all four days in the compound and didn't see a single band. Just hung out around the bars and campsites gettting loaded on cheap gear and free drinks.

We were sitting around the camp fire one night and there was this ginger scottish bird who was a bit of a sort, like proper fit with one of those soft lilting accents and wotnot. We were all sitting round getting pissed and bombing MDMA for a few hours when people were dropping off one by one to go to bed. At the end there was just me and this bird left sitting with a couple of cans and I started copping off with her. We went for a walk down to the banks of the Thames at the end of the camp site and got a bit hot and heavy but it was getting light by that point so we went back to my tent to tell my mate to fuck off so we could get stuck in.

Anyway my mate Zed's completely fucked up and wouldn't fucking get out of the tent so we thought fuck it, got in there and started shagging anyway. Had her bent over his back at one point doing her up the arse while she was wailing like a banshee and still the soppy cunt doesn't wake up at all. Anyway we finished what we were doing, wiped ourselves on another lad's t-shirt (he wasn't wearing it at the time ) and nodded off.

A few hours later Paul came back to the tent after a night on some band's tour bus and wakes us up going "heard you got lucky last night Chris. What was she like?" To which I replied "ask her yourself mate she's still here" at which point Zed goes off on one calling us both a right couple of mucky cunts and stomping off out of the tent!

Edited December 23, 2013 by Dazey

[Shooting Star]

I fell on the bathroom after taking a piss. I broke my head.

Did you come up with the flux capacitor?

Nah. Woke up in the hospital. My mom said I was havin short term amnesia and was saying a lot of weird stuff and even threatening people. Thank god I don't remember any of this...

It was just a normal, quiet morning until we heard the noise of your head smacking against the wall. We had to break down the door to get you out and take to the hospital. It ended being a skull base fracture, quite serious for someone who was just peeing... Edited December 23, 2013 by Shooting Star

[Shooting Star]

Pretty much all of my stories involve uncontrollable laughter at REALLY inappropriate moments.

I tend to do that as well, specially when I'm sleepy.

[Towelie]

I used to car share with this woman and before work everyday she would drop her kids off at nursery before we headed off to work. She'd always take a good five minutes or so doing this and I would always wait in the car while she took the kids in and chatted to the other mums etc.

Anyway, this one day she took the kids out of the car and I figured it was safe to do a fart, feeling confident that any smell would dissipate in the time it took her to sort the kids out. Lo and behold, 30 seconds after dropping the kids off she comes back to the car, no chatting to the other mums or anything. I tried to wind down the window a little but it was too little too late. She got back in the car and the smell was pretty bad. Neither of us acknowledged the smell, although she did turn up the air-con.

Suffice to say, we don't car share anymore.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Towelie

[Dazey]

I used to car share with this woman and before work everyday she would drop her kids off at nursery before we headed off to work. She'd always take a good five minutes or so doing this and I would always wait in the car while she took the kids in and chatted to the other mums etc.

Anyway, this one day she took the kids out of the car and I figured it was safe to do a fart, feeling confident that any smell would dissipate in the time it took her to sort the kids out. Lo and behold, 30 seconds after dropping the kids off she comes back to the car, no chatting to the other mums or anything. I tried to wind down the window a little but it was too little too late. She got back in the car and the smell was pretty bad. Neither of us acknowledged the smell, although she did turn up the air-con.

Suffice to say, we don't car share anymore.

What is it about farts that no matter how old you get and how mature you may be they're still fucking hilarious!

[DangerousCurves]

When my husband and I were dating, he was still living at home with his mother. Being 18 and 19 years old, we weren't exactly the most discreet people. One night, we were gettin' down to business in a particularly noisy, furniture banging, loudly appreciative kind of way, not even thinking that his mother's bedroom was on the other side of the wall. We suddenly heard a knocking on the wall, a really irritated sigh, and her footsteps stomping downstairs. After that, she slept on the couch in the living room when I stayed over. Kind of funny because she is a serious throwback. She is a homemade clothes, makes yogurt in her bathtub, doesn't shave her armpits (or anything else), free-loving hippie.

[DangerousCurves]

When I first joined this place, I googled hooray for tolerance! thinking it was a common expression...

I'm guilty of that as well, took me a bit to finally get it

I still haven't figured that one out.

[Dazey]

When I first joined this place, I googled hooray for tolerance! thinking it was a common expression...

I'm guilty of that as well, took me a bit to finally get it

I still haven't figured that one out.

F.aggot, n1gger and certain other words were originally filtered and automatically changed to "person" before HV and Subsy took over. After the takeover they're now filtered to say "hooray for tolerance".

Try typing either of those words properly and see what happens.

[Lithium]

When I first joined this place, I googled hooray for tolerance! thinking it was a common expression...

I'm guilty of that as well, took me a bit to finally get it

I still haven't figured that one out.

F.aggot, n1gger and certain other words were originally filtered and automatically changed to "person" before HV and Subsy took over. After the takeover they're now filtered to say "hooray for tolerance".

Try typing either of those words properly and see what happens.

Nig-ger was "black person", fag-got was "person", nutswinger was "I am a stupid cupcake, please ignore my post", 50-55 was "private" and ems was "elsewhere".

dem glory days

Edited December 23, 2013 by Lithium

[DangerousCurves]

Thanks for the clarification! I was thinking 'hooray for tolerance" was some username for a douchecanoe who was banned. LOL

[T.wa.T]

Douchecanoe, wtf?? LMAO!!!

[DangerousCurves]

Douchecanoe, wtf?? LMAO!!!

Thank you, folks! I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your bartender.

[DR DOOM]

An ex of mine (20 at he time) lived at home with her mother and had 3 smaller brothers and sister, and we got caught fucking by them heaps of times...not sure if embarrassing but awkward for a second or two-it didn't stop us.

Once I started going out with her I ( coincidentally) moved into a place a couple of streets away from her house, and one evening I got extremely wasted and got lost on the way to her place (which is really hard to do)...I had to call her to come and get me.

Once she got me back to her place, I just passed out and snored all night

The next morning her mother and her partner found it pretty bloody funny, my girlfriend did not however.

[Lithium]

I was at a deli tonight with some friends. Four bikers were standing around talking outside next to their Harleys. We start eating our food, and then two of the bikers start up their Harleys and make an unnecessary amount of noise with the motors, as bikers often do. So I say "that's the sound of a small dick right there" quite loud. Then I notice that the two other bikers are standing right behind me, and are looking at me. That was awkward as fuck. They weren't in a proper biker gang like the Hell's Angels or anything, but I'm happy as fuck they weren't, because I imagine I'd be in a lot of trouble if that was the case.

[GUNSNROSES513]

one time, my mother and i slept in the living room. Her on one couch, me on another.

morning wood, except my woodie somehow found a way to poke through my boxers and pajamas, i didn't feel it out there and i stood up looked down and saw my little fella. My mother was up, but to this day i dont know if she saw the bugger or not. I like to think she didn't....

i have a lot of embarrassing moments.

[arnold layne]

Just follow me around with a camera crew. That would summarize my 'awkward moment'.

I started a 'conversation' with someone on the elevator today.

one time, my mother and i slept in the living room. Her on one couch, me on another.

morning wood, except my woodie somehow found a way to poke through my boxers and pajamas, i didn't feel it out there and i stood up looked down and saw my little fella. My mother was up, but to this day i dont know if she saw the bugger or not. I like to think she didn't....

i have a lot of embarrassing moments.

Oedipus complex.

[45miles]

I can't believe I'm making this my first post, but I got my period unexpectedly once in middle school, bled through my light gray skirt, and didn't notice until a smart-ass on the bus asked me if I sat on a sharp pencil earlier. I said no, completely confused, before he said, "Then I think you have your period."

[Orsys]

I can't believe I'm making this my first post, but I got my period unexpectedly once in middle school, bled through my light gray skirt, and didn't notice until a smart-ass on the bus asked me if I sat on a sharp pencil earlier. I said no, completely confused, before he said, "Then I think you have your period."

I think you're going to have a good time here.

[45miles]

I think you're going to have a good time here.

Thanks!