ThinkAboutYou Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 maybe Lionel Ritchie is a better role model. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulMonster Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Best advice for McCoy before this thread hits 150 pages:Hmm.Don't tell me you don't masturbate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB. Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 And who is more likely to have a lengthy, satisfying marriage: The person who is willing to put their spouse's wants and needs ahead of their own, is more tolerant and understanding of their spouse's faults and weaknesses, and is willing to work on resolving marital issues .... or the person who bails when they don't get their way and would rather file for divorce than try to resolve their marital issues?.I really disagree with this statement. You should never put your spouses wants and needs ahead of your own. I have actually seen marriages end, because of this. It can only be a joined effort, cause one will always do this more than the other. You can put your relationship first, not the spouse self. I agree with people bailing relationships too soon, specially when kids are involved. But like my mother teached me, it's give and take. And you should always make sure, you take what you need for yourself and be sure you are happy enough to stay willing to work for the relationship. You don't live for your spouse, you live for yourself. Sorry, but I have seen bad things happening, when people were putting their spouses needs and wants before their own. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thin White Duke Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I don't think it's a coincidence that those who work full time while taking classes at night, and those who go to school full time while working nights and weekends, tend to earn more money throughout their career. Same with those who go into work early, stay late and take work home with them as opposed to clock watchers who fly out the door at the exact minute when their shift is up.And who is more likely to have a lengthy, satisfying marriage: The person who is willing to put their spouse's wants and needs ahead of their own, is more tolerant and understanding of their spouse's faults and weaknesses, and is willing to work on resolving marital issues .... or the person who bails when they don't get their way and would rather file for divorce than try to resolve their marital issues?I agree with you, those who think they're great because they've been handed wealth are indeed self-entitled ... but those who worked their ass off to earn their wealth deserve to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment, they deserve credit for sacrificing their social life and working harder to achieve their goals.Not sure what you consider to be "less fancy" jobs, but nobody who works hard should be considered lazy no matter what the job.Oh I completely agree about college, in some ways it's total bullshit ... being forced to memorize a bunch of stuff that will soon be forgotten because it will be absolutely useless in the real world. Does learning how to cut up a frog help an accounting major become an accountant? Of course not. But that's a whole 'nother subject.Sure a degree doesn't guarantee a good job, and why should it? If somebody is a complete asshole who doesn't get along with coworkers, having a degree doesn't matter. If they are unreliable, show up late for work all the time, call in sick often, aren't willing to work unpaid overtime, can't communicate properly, and don't act professional then they are going to have a hard time getting hired. And a lot depends on what the degree is in. I know somebody who has a masters in Theology, she's making barely above minimum wage because her degree isn't as valuable due to her major.Bottom line, guarantees don't come with anything that anyone does ... it's all about doing what you can to improve your chances of achieving your goals.Dude, your middle class mentality from a nice American neighborhood baffles me. Of course working more hours will give you more money, it's common sense. No one disagrees with that but, what's your point? Still you keep on thinking that everybody can do whatever they want and they have the same opportunities. That's what the Consittution says but it's not true. You keep on your mind in the USA, but not even in there everybody has the same chances. Poor neighborhoods have a higher rate of crimes and people have it more difficult. Do you think it's because they are black or immigrants and they are more prone to laziness and crime or, perhaps, the environment while growing up is not the best one to make the best of you?Studying while working? If you work 12 hours a day 6 days a week and you have a family, it's not very likely, is it? That, if you are lucky enough to have a job and those studies are not too expensive. But fair enough, let's imagine everybody around the world could have a degree if it wasn't just for laziness. What would we do if everybody had a degree? Who would build your house? Who would pick your garbage? Who would grow your food? Who would sew your clothes? That society would crash. And you missunderstood me, I didn't say college was bullshit because of some of the things we have to learn, I said it's not that hard. 4 or 5 years studying and hanging around with my mates wasn't that hard. I don't think I deserve the moon because I managed to do that. And now, here I am, replying to you while "working". And man, I definitely didn't mean a degree doesn't guarantee a good job thinking in people who are not reliable or are bad coworkers. I meant countries where the crisis hit really hard and there are no jobs for those people. Take a ride around some places in Europe for example. You don't have to study Theology to be unemployed, an engineering degree would do. I told you, the world is big. And in the sentimental field, yes, I said you gotta work in your relationships, not only with the missus but with your friends too, however a relationship is a thing of 2 people, you can buy flowers everyday, you can treat her like a queen but if love dies, it dies. You try not to give up as soon as problems appear but it's also sad to keep a relationship "just because" when there is no love whatsoever. There are plenty of unhappy marriages. Surely when there are kids, my position is slightly different. And, if she leaves you after working hard in the relationship... did you deserve it? No. In the end, it's just different visions of reality but it disgusts me when people think they ae better than the rest for whatever reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhead74 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 And, if she leaves you after working hard in the relationship... did you deserve it? No.No long term relationship ends if both parties are truly considering and listening to the other side, unless there are expectations that are beyond reasonable. Long term relationships only succeed if both sides are listening, considering and acting on the needs of BOTH sides. You don't say "geez, I worked so hard, but she still left me!" That is fucking bullshit. If someone leaves after a long period of time it means the other side wasn't willing or able, for some reason (be it by choice, by ignorance, by incapacity), to accommodate the needs of the other. It's so easy to blame the other side and that is complete negligence of responsibility in a relationship which is ALWAYS a two way street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Oh I completely agree about college, in some ways it's total bullshit ... being forced to memorize a bunch of stuff that will soon be forgotten because it will be absolutely useless in the real world. Does learning how to cut up a frog help an accounting major become an accountant? Of course not. But that's a whole 'nother subject.I suppose that would beg the question as to why the hell would anybody studying accountancy be cutting up frogs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhead74 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Studying while working? If you work 12 hours a day 6 days a week and you have a family, it's not very likely, is it? That, if you are lucky enough to have a job and those studies are not too expensive. But fair enough, let's imagine everybody around the world could have a degree if it wasn't just for laziness. What would we do if everybody had a degree? Who would build your house? Who would pick your garbage? Who would grow your food? Who would sew your clothes? That society would crash.Well I guess these are the choices we make in life. Having kids means your options become limited if you want to change your circumstances after they are born. This is the harsh reality of life. Don't have kids until you have your situation set as you would like it. No one forced you to have unprotected sex. But really, once those kids are born they are indeed your priority and certain sacrifices come as a result of that. There is no one else to blame. That's called responsibility. We live in world of contraception, and have done so for decades now. Sure it's harsh, but that's what being an adult is: real and harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB. Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 And, if she leaves you after working hard in the relationship... did you deserve it? No.No long term relationship ends if both parties are truly considering and listening to the other side, unless there are expectations that are beyond reasonable. Long term relationships only succeed if both sides are listening, considering and acting on the needs of BOTH sides. You don't say "geez, I worked so hard, but she still left me!" That is fucking bullshit. If someone leaves after a long period of time it means the other side wasn't willing or able, for some reason (be it by choice, by ignorance, by incapacity), to accommodate the needs of the other. It's so easy to blame the other side and that is complete negligence of responsibility in a relationship which is ALWAYS a two way street.Sometimes it's not anybody's fault. Sometimes needs can't be accomodated anymore, at least not by the other side. Not even when that person tries everything, to accomadate the other person needs. People change, what was great in the beginning is annoying years later. Sometimes life comes in the way of a relationship and nobody is to blame. The only thing which is important is to keep oncommunicating and trying. But sometimes you can both work and try and do everything, but it's still not enough. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thin White Duke Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Studying while working? If you work 12 hours a day 6 days a week and you have a family, it's not very likely, is it? That, if you are lucky enough to have a job and those studies are not too expensive. But fair enough, let's imagine everybody around the world could have a degree if it wasn't just for laziness. What would we do if everybody had a degree? Who would build your house? Who would pick your garbage? Who would grow your food? Who would sew your clothes? That society would crash.Well I guess these are the choices we make in life. Having kids means your options become limited if you want to change your circumstances after they are born. This is the harsh reality of life. Don't have kids until you have your situation set as you would like it. No one forced you to have unprotected sex. But really, once those kids are born they are indeed your priority and certain sacrifices come as a result of that. There is no one else to blame. That's called responsibility. We live in world of contraception, and have done so for decades now. Sure it's harsh, but that's what being an adult is: real and harsh.You don't say?All I was saying is that whoever decides to have a family instea dof other things is as good of a decision as deciding to dedicate your life to your career. many times it's even more satisfying too. And what I was criticizing was the fact that someone thinks that for having a nice career you are better than those who decided they had other priorities in their lives. I's not that difficult to understand, is it?I'm not gonna even comment about your perception of relationships. Accomodation, listening to the other side needs, etc. what a fucking amount of bollocks if you think with accomodation the other person will never leave you. Most times when a relationship ends is not the fault of anyone. I wasn't blaming neither the one leaving nor the one left behind, it's sad that at certain age people can think like that. People change, people fall in and out of love, people meet others who blow their minds, people are fed up with the same old same old, people sometimes are not happy having everyhting and the best. And no, it's not anyone's faults. It's just life. Keeping a relationship without love is more for need or fear of being alone than other thing. And if there is no love, what's the point in accomodation and working together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhead74 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I'm not sure whether to or *facepalm* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real McCoy Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I can't wait to get back to a computer tonight so that I can properly catch up on the last few pages of this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lio Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I can't wait to get back to a computer tonight so that I can properly catch up on the last few pages of this thread.Uh... maybe it's better you don't. You might get all confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real McCoy Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I can't wait to get back to a computer tonight so that I can properly catch up on the last few pages of this thread. Uh... maybe it's better you don't. You might get all confused More than I already am? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulMonster Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I can't wait to get back to a computer tonight so that I can properly catch up on the last few pages of this thread.It is YOU that need to update US on what's been going on in your life these days. Any new love interests? Any constructive response from any of the ladies that scorned you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real McCoy Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I can't wait to get back to a computer tonight so that I can properly catch up on the last few pages of this thread.It is YOU that need to update US on what's been going on in your life these days. Any new love interests? Any constructive response from any of the ladies that scorned you?Talking to a girl on Plenty Of Fish. She actually recognized me from a video that a country singer posted on Vine. Kind of random, but cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Apollo Posted April 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 21, 2014 McCoy, something to think about.......and I can't say how relevant it is, because I haven't read this entire thread, just skimmed over pages. And, even though you are getting tons of good advice, the advice is only relevant if it "fits" with you as a person. What is good advice for one person might be the exact opposite of what would be good for another. Anyway, here is my story, and just something to think about for a brief second.When I was single I was dating every single woman in my town. I was in my late 30s, a single dad, and thought the most important thing I needed was a wife to grow old with. I didn't want to be single and continue the bar scene, the dating scene. I wanted to find a nice woman, get married, have a couple kids and live happily ever after. So I dated a lot of different women in a search for a wife.But then I started getting tired of it all. The bar and dating scene, hook-ups with random women, three-somes with mother/daughters from the bar, dates with women I didn't really like or have an interest in, etc. It started seeming like more of a chore than a fun thing.So one night I decided to STOP looking. I declared that I was done. I wasn't going to pursue anybody. I was stopping looking for a GF, a one-night stand, a wife. Done with it all. If a woman was interested in me, then SHE could pursue me. But I was officially done looking. No flirting, no FBing, no texting, etc. I took myself out of the "game." No dating sites. No blind dates. No dates with random girls. Nothing.And you know what happened?Literally, the very next day - less than 24 hours later - I met my wife and we were married six months later.I don't know if it is a confidence thing, or if women can smell desperation on people. And I don't mean "desperation" desperation, but just the vibe you put out subconsciously. A woman can sense if a guy is just looking for fun, a one nighter, or for a wife. I think that a confident woman, who isn't desperately seeking those same things herself, is able to then sense it when she meets a man......and that is when great friendships and relationships start. Ones that last forever. Because you both met at a time of "strength" between the two of you, instead of the time of one or both of you being "in need."I don't know if any of that makes sense or not, but something to think about. Tl/dr version - when I stopped looking for a wife, the very next day I met my future wife. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 three-somes with mother/daughters from the bar, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollo Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 three-somes with mother/daughters from the bar,Alcohol makes people do some pretty crazy things!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 pics or it didn't happen, that's first commandment of the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thin White Duke Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 three-somes with mother/daughters from the bar,One does not simply gets tired of this. Good post though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NGOG Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 three-somes with mother/daughters from the barI'm guessing that was definitely pre-Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forsaken Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Literally, the very next day - less than 24 hours later - I met my wife and we were married six months later.I would love to hear the story behind this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkFairy81 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I had pretty much a similar experience as Groghan, minus threesomes I was so done with relationships and what have you, and a week later I met my husband lol, just had our 10 year wedding anniversary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 "Hello, I'd like a bride, please""Sure thing. That'll be $6000""Here's my credit card number...""She'll be with you on Tuesday""Praise the Lord" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forsaken Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 "Hello, I'd like a bride, please""Sure thing. That'll be $6000""Here's my credit card number...""She'll be with you on Tuesday""Praise the Lord" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts