DR DOOM Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Just like when you go to the Casino, just leave the kids locked in the car while you attend the wedding. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 I'd prefer a hard line approach, and will try to take one. I don't mind kids at weddings, in fact they're pretty sweet and add to the atmosphere. We're making absolutely loads of sacrifices just to have this wedding, and the people with kids know that we're strapped for cash. (When they have group dinners, they always ask us to bring the cheapest thing). So hopefully they'll be understanding. As Kim said, weddings bring out the worst in people, and I can't do this wedding worrying about how everyone might feel. At the end of the day, we'll be married, and they'll get over whatever problems they had. Btw, I'm really enjoying wedding planning. Keeping it simple has been the best idea yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron MikeyJ Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) This is a pretty common thing now a days, adult only weddings I mean. Hey kids cost just as much as adults as far as food and seating goes, so do what you need to do. It's your day. Will some people be upset that they can't bring their kids? yes. But the ones that choose to still come will forget all about it once they have had a couple of drinks in them, lol. So don't worry about it too much.Oh btw, I would reconsider your idea about "allowing those who can't find a sitter to bring their kids." This will cause more problems than it solves, because the people that did follow your wishes will be upset when they see other peoples kids running around. IMO it's a one or the other situation, kids or no kids. You can't have it both ways. I'm talking from experience here, i'm married and have kids, plus I have attended many adult only weddings in the last few years. If someone can't find a sitter, than sorry about their luck. I'm mean really what parents don't have some sort of babysitter on speed dial anyways??? Like I said, make it adult only and leave it at that. Your guest will respect your wishes, or at least they should... Edited June 15, 2014 by Mike420 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncivil war Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 We had kids at my wedding. There were A LOT of kids in our family and it gave our kids someone to play with. However, it was a very informal, fun night and the kids running around having a ball reflected our life. Most weddings I've been too since have been kid free, and to be honest its easier to relax without trying to get the kids to behave all night and not do anything inappropriate during the long boring speeches. Most people understand what weddings are like, and would understand if kids weren't invited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thin White Duke Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Weddings are unbearable without alcohol. Kids can't drink alcohol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lio Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 It's very uncommon here to take your children to a wedding. There were no children invited to our wedding, well, not to the party anyway. We had one wedding last month where children were invited, that's the only wedding I know of with children, but the wedding ended around 10PM (we didn't take our kid though ). A regular wedding is until 3, 4, 5 in the morning, so it's quite normal not to have kids around. We have a wedding next week and just the two of us are invited, no kids.Anyhow, just do it like you want, invite who YOU want, it's YOUR day, YOU decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 You should provide a creche and activities to ensure that any children that attend are suitably entertained for the duration of the service and remainder of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Oh btw, I would reconsider your idea about "allowing those who can't find a sitter to bring their kids." This will cause more problems than it solves, because the people that did follow your wishes will be upset when they see other peoples kids running around. IMO it's a one or the other situation, kids or no kids. You can't have it both ways. This exactly! Personally I wouldn't be bothered at all to be told that it was adults only but I would be pissed if I'd gone to the trouble to find a sitter only to see that other people had been able to bring their kids. Think about it another way though Gracii. Most parents would probably welcome the opportunity for a one off night away from the kids once in a while so I can't imagine anybody would get offended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Will you be taking a stance on pets too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 Will you be taking a stance on pets too?Yes, George the Hamster is walking me up the aisle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfierose Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2109032-I-cant-take-my-baby-to-a-wedding-but-someone-else-canSaw this today and immediately thought of you. This is exactly why you must specify a blanket policy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sandman Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 So many acronyms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks Alfie. So many acronyms indeed.I'd love a blanket rule but the other half is more sentimental than I; if a parent couldn't attend due to not being allowed to bring child with, then he would be devastated, and angry at me for imposing a blanket rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron MikeyJ Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks Alfie. So many acronyms indeed.I'd love a blanket rule but the other half is more sentimental than I; if a parent couldn't attend due to not being allowed to bring child with, then he would be devastated, and angry at me for imposing a blanket rule.It's your wedding and your day, but honestly I think you are making a mistake. I understand where your husband to be is coming from, but I don't think he is looking at it objectivly. I'm telling you from experience that these sort of things make for lost friendships or at least fractured ones VERY QUICKLY. Did you read the link that was posted? I'm telling you now, any people that don't bring their kids WILL notice the people that do. It will make them feel less important to you, next thing you know you haven't heard from those people in 6 months, a year, two years. When it comes to weddings, it's not all about the bride and groom, that's a lie. It might be your day, but it's everyone's party. They all have time and money wrapped up into this event, so you bet your ass playing favorites will piss some folks off. This story is different circumstances but will show how weddings effect EVERYONE involved. About 2 years ago, one of my best friends was getting married and was having a destination wedding and wanted me to be one of his groomsmen. I was honered and lived up to all of my duties. Well about 6 months later I was getting married and asked him to be my best man. Well his wife was preggo and wouldn't let him drive an hour and half to my house to be in my wedding. I know she was preggo, but I'm sorry that was a straight up bitch move. After we spent over $1,000 to be in and attend their destination wedding, he can't drive to my wedding, just for one day? Long story short, I lost one of my best friends because of it. We still chat on facebook here and there, but that was a betryal that I can't get over any time soon. All because his wife refused to let him out of her sight for one day, and obviously she just didn't want to come (because she was invited also). Bottom line, when it comes to weddings, what goes around comes around. If you offend people at your wedding, than don't expect invites to theirs, except for pitty invites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks Alfie. So many acronyms indeed.I'd love a blanket rule but the other half is more sentimental than I; if a parent couldn't attend due to not being allowed to bring child with, then he would be devastated, and angry at me for imposing a blanket rule.It's your wedding and your day, but honestly I think you are making a mistake. I understand where your husband to be is coming from, but I don't think he is looking at it objectivly. I'm telling you from experience that these sort of things make for lost friendships or at least fractured ones VERY QUICKLY. Did you read the link that was posted? I'm telling you now, any people that don't bring their kids WILL notice the people that do. It will make them feel less important to you, next thing you know you haven't heard from those people in 6 months, a year, two years. When it comes to weddings, it's not all about the bride and groom, that's a lie. It might be your day, but it's everyone's party. They all have time and money wrapped up into this event, so you bet your ass playing favorites will piss some folks off.This story is different circumstances but will show how weddings effect EVERYONE involved.Sounds like my lot And by 'involved' what is really meant in the context I'm speaking of is 'all set to eat you out of house and home...and then pick faults afterwards'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted June 17, 2014 Author Share Posted June 17, 2014 Mike, that's a terrible experience and I'm sorry that your friend's wife behaved that way.I've concluded that however we play this, someone is going to be offended.People may be upset that their children weren't invited.Others will be upset that other people brought their kids and they didn't.While others won't like any children being there at all. You can't please everyone, and my foremost concern is the man I'm going to marry. I really hope that nobody will say "sorry, can't make it, can't find childcare" but it's not guaranteed. I'm going to have another chat with fiancé about a blanket rule tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron MikeyJ Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks Alfie. So many acronyms indeed.I'd love a blanket rule but the other half is more sentimental than I; if a parent couldn't attend due to not being allowed to bring child with, then he would be devastated, and angry at me for imposing a blanket rule.It's your wedding and your day, but honestly I think you are making a mistake. I understand where your husband to be is coming from, but I don't think he is looking at it objectivly. I'm telling you from experience that these sort of things make for lost friendships or at least fractured ones VERY QUICKLY. Did you read the link that was posted? I'm telling you now, any people that don't bring their kids WILL notice the people that do. It will make them feel less important to you, next thing you know you haven't heard from those people in 6 months, a year, two years. When it comes to weddings, it's not all about the bride and groom, that's a lie. It might be your day, but it's everyone's party. They all have time and money wrapped up into this event, so you bet your ass playing favorites will piss some folks off.This story is different circumstances but will show how weddings effect EVERYONE involved.Sounds like my lot And by 'involved' what is really meant in the context I'm speaking of is 'all set to eat you out of house and home...and then pick faults afterwards'.Ya, it's really pretty pointless.... But it happens often. I have a lot of friends and family weddings over the last few years or so (including mine), and it's crazy all the "compare and contrast" type things that go on. Honestly I tried my best to please everyone that came to mine (because it does mean a lot). But I did accidentally offend one of my buddies (he really wanted to be a groomsman, and I didn't pick him). I had my brother, one of my oldest friends, and my drummer (only 3) and it really pissed him off. So much so, that he is having 8 guys in his and picked all of "our" friends except for me. But I don't even let shit like that get to me, because I realize IT'S JUST ONE DAY PEOPLE. It's a great one day, but the 24 hours zooms right by.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollo Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I've got two little kids and I wouldn't be offended at all if you sent out a "no kids please" request.Like people have said - it's YOUR SPECIAL DAY - not mine. I'm just coming to honor you guys, and to be a part of YOUR special day. Also,Not to insult anybody here. But if somebody got mad because they saw another kid at the wedding........that's just silly. Again, it is YOUR special day, not mine. If somebody else had a special situation or emergency and couldn't get a sitter, how does that effect me? Maybe it's a friend of yours that lives in a another state or country, paid thousands of dollars to travel to attend the wedding, and they don't know anybody in your city that could babysit. Why would I get mad about that?Now days it seems like people try WAY too hard to get offended by things. And they can't wait to post about it on Facebook to let everybody know how offended they are.I would not be offended by your request.Nor would I be offended and angry if I got to the party and saw a few other kids. I'd assume they were special situations. And again, I'm there to HONOR your wedding. It isn't about me and my kids, it's about you and your husband. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron MikeyJ Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I was impleying that I would personally be upset about anything discussed here. Just trying to give my 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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