Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Les Invincibles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Alright, here's a DOOM-y one from about 2 years ago.A guy I have known for years (not a friend exactly, I have worked at 2 different places with him) moved in to a place not very far from me.He is a nice enough bloke but a hopeless drunk and problem gambler.I had thought he was gay or something for years, but he got himself a girlfriend who is in her early 20's, a bit on the heavy side, not much in the brains department but the mother of all chests.Anyways, they would always show up at my place during the week with alcohol and want to get on it, and insist I come over on the weekends to do more of the same and watch football, movies, listen to music.On the weekends, the bloke would always pass out early, and after a few times of this one night his girlfriend starts crawling up my leg...cue wicked blowjob.From what she told me, this guy hardly touched her and she was basically with him to have a roof over her head that wasn't her (allegedly) fuckwit parents.So I started spending my weekends over there, waiting for this guy to go to drink himself into a stupor/ go to bed/pass out and getting my dick sucked like a fucking champ as soon as we heard snoring.It escalated of course, we would fuck from when he passed out till the early hours of the next morning and then she'd go creep off into their bedroom.If I was free and he was at work or away I'd be over there, into her hammer and tongs.It started getting really blatant, like latching onto each other when he turned away or left the room and one night in particular she got pissed early while he was still up and emerged from her room in lingerie and then kneeled on the floor in front of me while me and her boyfriend were sitting on the couch.They started sleeping in different rooms.There were a couple of times where I had to do the runner/barrel out the window like in the movies, and the most awkward of all was one night we did the usual of waiting for him to go to bed and hear the snoring start, blowjob and then fuck till sunrise- only this time I left my underpants in front of the couch in the lounge room after the customary dick sucking.When I woke up the next day, he asked me (and I honestly forget the exact words) something along the lines of why my underpants were on the lounge room floor This poor fucker MUST have known, looking back it was really fucking blatant...he is an extremely dense individual though.This all went on for the best part of a year, they seperated for a while and I continued to get the treatment until one day she found God.She went from nympho dicksucking champion of the world to Bible Thumping Know It All overnight, it was nuts.Not to sound like even more of a cunt, but I was never really interested in a relationship with her though, so I wasn't all that emotionally perturbed when it fizzled out.They're back together now, and we have all moved- I have bumped into them a couple of times and it's all cordial and pleasant, like none of it ever happened.It was a good year 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magisme Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Brilliant!I've been in a couple similar situations. You feel like a champ and the scum of the earth at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Fuckin bunch of wrong uns, thats one thing I'd never do is sort a mates bird out, thats off key Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Brilliant!I've been in a couple similar situations. You feel like a champ and the scum of the earth at the same time. If this guy was an actual, real friend, I wouldn't have let it go ahead, I swear...I did feel bad though, for about half a second Not exactly proud of it but I've been an accomplice in cheating a few times over the years, on the flipside I got fucked on once and it really sucked.Fuckin bunch of wrong uns, thats one thing I'd never do is sort a mates bird out, thats off key Not an actual mate, honest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magisme Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Fuckin bunch of wrong uns, thats one thing I'd never do is sort a mates bird out, thats off key I'd never do it to a friend. People from work and shit. Fuck them, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I'm just being judgemental, its easy to sit here being al sanctimonious but when some birds some birds looking to cop a gobful of your tackle on a slow weekday that otherwise would've involved 6 cans, an episode of Coronation Street and off to bed it can't be the easiest thing to refuse Fuckin bunch of wrong uns, thats one thing I'd never do is sort a mates bird out, thats off key I'd never do it to a friend. People from work and shit. Fuck them, right? Oh yeah, in that instance go for it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 You would have to know this guy...being a problem gambler I'd always lend him small amounts of dough in drips and drabs (never to be seen again), and he would always just want company for company's sake rather than for any kind of friendship.He'd show up unannounced, interrupt my shit, spend the time on his phone sussing out his next move and then fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magisme Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 For me it was always the girl who brought me around and the guy was someone I only knew through her.Lesson for the guys: Don't let your girl start bringing dudes around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Lesson for the guys: Don't let your girl start bringing dudes around.Hear ye, Hear ye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I guess this morality stuff is relative, I mean get my mate McLeod in on the deal and he'd probably shag their Mums as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I guess this morality stuff is relative, I mean get my mate McLeod in on the deal and he'd probably shag their Mums as well Stories to follow. Suffice to say I've not been an angel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 (edited) See, i was right I didn't even know that but I sort of knew without needing to Edited June 27, 2015 by Len B'stard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
streak Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 For me it was always the girl who brought me around and the guy was someone I only knew through her.Lesson for the guys: Don't let your girl start bringing dudes around.agreed. if she has dude friends, be wary! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Black Sabbath and I are gonna get gay married. Everyone is invited.Shades is the ring-bearer. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Shades is the ring-bearer.Was that meant to be so wildly open to interpretation? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold layne Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 He's the little dude that carries the ring down the isle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OmarBradley Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Brilliant!I've been in a couple similar situations. You feel like a champ and the scum of the earth at the same time. I expected a few similar replies from others... but not you.I thought Plato taught you better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Brilliant!I've been in a couple similar situations. You feel like a champ and the scum of the earth at the same time. I expected a few similar replies from others... but not you.I thought Plato taught you better. He did but Mags switched his philosophy up after having been exposed to Jacques Derrida who, in his seminal work, 'Gettin' It' succicintly stated 'you need to go head on and get that pussy boy, word!' 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNSNROSES513 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Black Sabbath and I are gonna get gay married. Everyone is invited.Shades is the ring-bearer.May I be the cock ring bearer?So the last 2 times I went to the coffee shop . She was there but waiting on different customers... So I really tried to notice how she speaks to them, and its a lot different than me. She talks and looks at me different, so she either digs me or thinks I'm special needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lithium Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 hooray for tolerance! just talk to her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GUNSNROSES513 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 hooray for tolerance! just talk to herI know.I will admit i'm shy.. But I go there a lot with this 84 year old man, we do work in the garden then go for coffee. He loves the place and I do to, If I ask her out and she says no, fine, I wont loose much sleep. But I cant just stop going there with the old timer, he'd be disappointed, but at the same time it might be awkward going in there and seeing her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfriend Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 (edited) hooray for tolerance! just talk to herI know. I will admit i'm shy.. But I go there a lot with this 84 year old man, we do work in the garden then go for coffee. He loves the place and I do to, If I ask her out and she says no, fine, I wont loose much sleep. But I cant just stop going there with the old timer, he'd be disappointed, but at the same time it might be awkward going in there and seeing her.Yeah, that might be awkward. For like, 30 seconds the first couple of times you run into her. Big deal! You might also eat a bad taco one night and shit yourself at work the next day.You can preemptively disspell any tension by not immediately bolting if she says no. "Ah well, no worries, can't blame a guy for trying. *smile* Hey, what are the specials today? Oh cool, I've never tried a coffee enema before, is that iced or hot off the boil?" You get my drift? Edited June 28, 2015 by tomfriend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netcat Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Alright, here's a DOOM-y one from about 2 years ago.A guy I have known for years (not a friend exactly, I have worked at 2 different places with him) moved in to a place not very far from me.He is a nice enough bloke but a hopeless drunk and problem gambler.I had thought he was gay or something for years, but he got himself a girlfriend who is in her early 20's, a bit on the heavy side, not much in the brains department but the mother of all chests.Anyways, they would always show up at my place during the week with alcohol and want to get on it, and insist I come over on the weekends to do more of the same and watch football, movies, listen to music.On the weekends, the bloke would always pass out early, and after a few times of this one night his girlfriend starts crawling up my leg...cue wicked blowjob.From what she told me, this guy hardly touched her and she was basically with him to have a roof over her head that wasn't her (allegedly) fuckwit parents.So I started spending my weekends over there, waiting for this guy to go to drink himself into a stupor/ go to bed/pass out and getting my dick sucked like a fucking champ as soon as we heard snoring.It escalated of course, we would fuck from when he passed out till the early hours of the next morning and then she'd go creep off into their bedroom.If I was free and he was at work or away I'd be over there, into her hammer and tongs.It started getting really blatant, like latching onto each other when he turned away or left the room and one night in particular she got pissed early while he was still up and emerged from her room in lingerie and then kneeled on the floor in front of me while me and her boyfriend were sitting on the couch.They started sleeping in different rooms.There were a couple of times where I had to do the runner/barrel out the window like in the movies, and the most awkward of all was one night we did the usual of waiting for him to go to bed and hear the snoring start, blowjob and then fuck till sunrise- only this time I left my underpants in front of the couch in the lounge room after the customary dick sucking.When I woke up the next day, he asked me (and I honestly forget the exact words) something along the lines of why my underpants were on the lounge room floor This poor fucker MUST have known, looking back it was really fucking blatant...he is an extremely dense individual though.This all went on for the best part of a year, they seperated for a while and I continued to get the treatment until one day she found God.She went from nympho dicksucking champion of the world to Bible Thumping Know It All overnight, it was nuts.Not to sound like even more of a cunt, but I was never really interested in a relationship with her though, so I wasn't all that emotionally perturbed when it fizzled out.They're back together now, and we have all moved- I have bumped into them a couple of times and it's all cordial and pleasant, like none of it ever happened.It was a good year so basically you helped her realize the perishing nature of earthly pleasures? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) so basically you helped her realize the perishing nature of earthly pleasures? I guess so It's pretty funny really, she was the one that initiated the whole thing and I never lied to her or gave her any false impressions about where it could go- I still got a "I'll pray for you" speech and lecture at the end of it though I let her have that one Edited June 29, 2015 by DR DOOM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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