[NOISEY] Why I'm Breaking Up With Axl Rose... For Good

[spliff]

the author of this article

[Słash]

Axl is the best, he has made so much awesome music over the years, I can understand why Axl doesn't wants to get along with a person like Slash, what has Slash even done in the past so many years? It took Slash 17 years to release a new album, Has Slash released anything after 2008? Look at Axl he is releasing an album every 2 years just for the fans, Thank you Axl for bring out talent like DJ Ashba, his guitar stuff on Anastasia is just awesome. I hope Slash gets up from his lazy ass and at least care to release some new music.

Wkuk and Gunner PT like this comment

[DieselDaisy]

Sitting in a booth at Canter's Deli in West Hollywood while partially hung-over and flipping through my "Like"-less Facebook page, I read this: "The Owner of Canter's Deli Has a Plan To Reunite Guns N' Roses." I'm also meeting someone who was on the Sunset Strip in the mid-'80s, snorting coke and shooting vodka at the Rainbow Room. Today, her ability to give a fuck has been medicated into a fast-talking prattle. All the stories she crams in-between guzzling coffee and pastrami sound depressing. Faded tramp stamps, shiny leather, and bottling Poison fans over the head. She’s a less evolved primate like the all the rest rudderless carnivores who want to see GN'R reunite. In 2015, 22 years after their last gig, a GN'R reunion is still the biggest draw in rock 'n' roll fantasy booking.

Full disclosure: One of my first musical engrams was a video of Axl gliding onto the stage in Wembley wearing a black leather kilt and singing the chorus to "Bohemian Rhapsody" like some coked-up BDSM cheerleader. But I'm too young to have ever seen them live. What I want to remember is the ginger ayatollah; a paranoid chain-smoking psychopath – riffing on just about everyone he can think of with his stainless-steel 9mm in one hand, and a bottle of champagne in the other – that was the Axl Rose that scared the shit out of me. Slash, who roamed Amazonian snake farms on his time off, was even more demented. In other words, GN'R was dangerous, sexy, and full of shock-and-awe in an age where we wanted our heroes to be half-mutated gods, like Hulk Hogan's 24-inch pythons, or Michael Jackson walking in space. Axl Rose was the trashy Michael Jackson.

Today, in an era of cutesy cultural icons like Joseph Gordon Levitt, where being quirky is a national identity, GN'R would nosedive into parody like a Pauly Shore cameo in "Girls." Where does Axl Rose, in his boxer-briefs and "Victory or Death" tattoo, fit into riot grrrl or another op-ed on misogyny? We're in a world that still embraces Kurt Cobain in an evening dress. Guys like Axl and Slash are now caricatures in Guitar Hero video games: cartoony renderings of what rock and roll used to be. The closest thing to a legitimate rock star today is Kanye West, and he's never started a riot or toured with an Uzi semi-automatic.

Noel Gallagher thinks he's the last rock star, but no. Axl is. But today, he's a Chucky doll in a fluffy fedora, with bedazzled garments and enough gaudy jewelry to finance his next album (GN'R's last album Chinese Democracycost $11 million). His current band, Axl Rose and Company, is a bloated cover band nobody takes seriously. His guttural falsetto has been softened into a starving baby's screech. As for Slash, well, he sobered up and started collaborating with Fergie. How dangerous.

A GN'R reunion would be a massive payday, but even if Axl and Slash did manage to pull something off for the 30th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction, it's too late now. The 2002 MTV Video Music Awards may have been their last shot, back when Axl still had his serpentine glide and crazy eyes and Slash was a shadowy figure with a lit cigarette peaking through his hair. It didn't happen then, and in an age of third-wave feminism and veganism, GN'R is dad rock; a slab of bloody factory-farmed beef we no longer have the appetite for.

But fans still want to know why two men haven't been able to reconcile their differences for nearly 20 years. They want answers to rock 'n' roll's most childish breakup. They'll never have it. What they might get is new GN'R material that sounds like Eltonian piano ballads over EDM beats. Before that happens, let's kill the past. Let’s scrawl "sorry I'm late" across Axl's coffin, like he asked. Let GN'R meet its maker (a giant pink dildo) and listen to their magnum opus, "Sweet Child of Mine," to remember that they could have been bigger than the Beatled instead of band that was blown to smithereens by Nirvana’s drone-strike into the heart of the Sunset Strip.

http://noisey.vice.com/blog/why-im-breaking-up-with-axl-rose?utm_source=noiseytwitterus

Cannot say I disagree with any of that. Watching washed up fatties trying to imitate their heyday is always a soul destroying experience.

I hope the kid who wrote the article posts a picture of himself in his 50's, and we can see what a specimen of eternal youth is.

That is a fair point but he would not be the one on stage trying to pretend he is twenty!

[GUNNER PT]

Shitty pretentious article. Who is this guy to assume he can make such sweeping generalisations and talk on behalf of an entire population of music fans? A GNR reunion in 2015 would be shit-hot news regardless of what this yuppy thinks.

But it wouldnt though.

I have to disagree with you. IMO a reunion would be huge news. Despite GN'R not being relevant in the context of modern music, it is one of the most famous feuds in music history. If they decided to kiss and make up tomorrow, the story would be everywhere. The buzz would only last until the next big story broke, but for a couple of days, GN'R would be big news.

Just my opinion.

It could be huge news ... I just don't know if it would be for the right reasons.

I can already imagine some people talking about it: "GN'R? I thought they all died from overdose, back in the 90's" or "Money talks, man. They are broke so they need to do a reunion to get some more money for the drugs".

Axl is the best, he has made so much awesome music over the years, I can understand why Axl doesn't wants to get along with a person like Slash, what has Slash even done in the past so many years? It took Slash 17 years to release a new album, Has Slash released anything after 2008? Look at Axl he is releasing an album every 2 years just for the fans, Thank you Axl for bring out talent like DJ Ashba, his guitar stuff on Anastasia is just awesome. I hope Slash gets up from his lazy ass and at least care to release some new music.

Wkuk and Gunner PT like this comment

Man, I don't even know what are you talking about ...

[Słash]

Shitty pretentious article. Who is this guy to assume he can make such sweeping generalisations and talk on behalf of an entire population of music fans? A GNR reunion in 2015 would be shit-hot news regardless of what this yuppy thinks.

But it wouldnt though.

I have to disagree with you. IMO a reunion would be huge news. Despite GN'R not being relevant in the context of modern music, it is one of the most famous feuds in music history. If they decided to kiss and make up tomorrow, the story would be everywhere. The buzz would only last until the next big story broke, but for a couple of days, GN'R would be big news.

Just my opinion.

It could be huge news ... I just don't know if it would be for the right reasons.

I can already imagine some people talking about it: "GN'R? I thought they all died from overdose, back in the 90's" or "Money talks, man. They are broke so they need to do a reunion to get some more money for the drugs".

Axl is the best, he has made so much awesome music over the years, I can understand why Axl doesn't wants to get along with a person like Slash, what has Slash even done in the past so many years? It took Slash 17 years to release a new album, Has Slash released anything after 2008? Look at Axl he is releasing an album every 2 years just for the fans, Thank you Axl for bring out talent like DJ Ashba, his guitar stuff on Anastasia is just awesome. I hope Slash gets up from his lazy ass and at least care to release some new music.

Wkuk and Gunner PT like this comment

Man, I don't even know what are you talking about ...

Where were you since the past few days? I got worried man, it was pretty calm in here without you

[GUNNER PT]

Shitty pretentious article. Who is this guy to assume he can make such sweeping generalisations and talk on behalf of an entire population of music fans? A GNR reunion in 2015 would be shit-hot news regardless of what this yuppy thinks.

But it wouldnt though.

I have to disagree with you. IMO a reunion would be huge news. Despite GN'R not being relevant in the context of modern music, it is one of the most famous feuds in music history. If they decided to kiss and make up tomorrow, the story would be everywhere. The buzz would only last until the next big story broke, but for a couple of days, GN'R would be big news.

Just my opinion.

It could be huge news ... I just don't know if it would be for the right reasons.

I can already imagine some people talking about it: "GN'R? I thought they all died from overdose, back in the 90's" or "Money talks, man. They are broke so they need to do a reunion to get some more money for the drugs".

Axl is the best, he has made so much awesome music over the years, I can understand why Axl doesn't wants to get along with a person like Slash, what has Slash even done in the past so many years? It took Slash 17 years to release a new album, Has Slash released anything after 2008? Look at Axl he is releasing an album every 2 years just for the fans, Thank you Axl for bring out talent like DJ Ashba, his guitar stuff on Anastasia is just awesome. I hope Slash gets up from his lazy ass and at least care to release some new music.

Wkuk and Gunner PT like this comment

Man, I don't even know what are you talking about ...

Where were you since the past few days? I got worried man, it was pretty calm in here without you

Calm or boring? Nothing like a nice discussion, uh?

It' all ok man, thanks for asking.

[wkuk04]

Sitting in a booth at Canter's Deli in West Hollywood while partially hung-over and flipping through my "Like"-less Facebook page, I read this: "The Owner of Canter's Deli Has a Plan To Reunite Guns N' Roses." I'm also meeting someone who was on the Sunset Strip in the mid-'80s, snorting coke and shooting vodka at the Rainbow Room. Today, her ability to give a fuck has been medicated into a fast-talking prattle. All the stories she crams in-between guzzling coffee and pastrami sound depressing. Faded tramp stamps, shiny leather, and bottling Poison fans over the head. She’s a less evolved primate like the all the rest rudderless carnivores who want to see GN'R reunite. In 2015, 22 years after their last gig, a GN'R reunion is still the biggest draw in rock 'n' roll fantasy booking.

Full disclosure: One of my first musical engrams was a video of Axl gliding onto the stage in Wembley wearing a black leather kilt and singing the chorus to "Bohemian Rhapsody" like some coked-up BDSM cheerleader. But I'm too young to have ever seen them live. What I want to remember is the ginger ayatollah; a paranoid chain-smoking psychopath – riffing on just about everyone he can think of with his stainless-steel 9mm in one hand, and a bottle of champagne in the other – that was the Axl Rose that scared the shit out of me. Slash, who roamed Amazonian snake farms on his time off, was even more demented. In other words, GN'R was dangerous, sexy, and full of shock-and-awe in an age where we wanted our heroes to be half-mutated gods, like Hulk Hogan's 24-inch pythons, or Michael Jackson walking in space. Axl Rose was the trashy Michael Jackson.

Today, in an era of cutesy cultural icons like Joseph Gordon Levitt, where being quirky is a national identity, GN'R would nosedive into parody like a Pauly Shore cameo in "Girls." Where does Axl Rose, in his boxer-briefs and "Victory or Death" tattoo, fit into riot grrrl or another op-ed on misogyny? We're in a world that still embraces Kurt Cobain in an evening dress. Guys like Axl and Slash are now caricatures in Guitar Hero video games: cartoony renderings of what rock and roll used to be. The closest thing to a legitimate rock star today is Kanye West, and he's never started a riot or toured with an Uzi semi-automatic.

Noel Gallagher thinks he's the last rock star, but no. Axl is. But today, he's a Chucky doll in a fluffy fedora, with bedazzled garments and enough gaudy jewelry to finance his next album (GN'R's last album Chinese Democracycost $11 million). His current band, Axl Rose and Company, is a bloated cover band nobody takes seriously. His guttural falsetto has been softened into a starving baby's screech. As for Slash, well, he sobered up and started collaborating with Fergie. How dangerous.

A GN'R reunion would be a massive payday, but even if Axl and Slash did manage to pull something off for the 30th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction, it's too late now. The 2002 MTV Video Music Awards may have been their last shot, back when Axl still had his serpentine glide and crazy eyes and Slash was a shadowy figure with a lit cigarette peaking through his hair. It didn't happen then, and in an age of third-wave feminism and veganism, GN'R is dad rock; a slab of bloody factory-farmed beef we no longer have the appetite for.

But fans still want to know why two men haven't been able to reconcile their differences for nearly 20 years. They want answers to rock 'n' roll's most childish breakup. They'll never have it. What they might get is new GN'R material that sounds like Eltonian piano ballads over EDM beats. Before that happens, let's kill the past. Let’s scrawl "sorry I'm late" across Axl's coffin, like he asked. Let GN'R meet its maker (a giant pink dildo) and listen to their magnum opus, "Sweet Child of Mine," to remember that they could have been bigger than the Beatled instead of band that was blown to smithereens by Nirvana’s drone-strike into the heart of the Sunset Strip.

http://noisey.vice.com/blog/why-im-breaking-up-with-axl-rose?utm_source=noiseytwitterus

Cannot say I disagree with any of that. Watching washed up fatties trying to imitate their heyday is always a soul destroying experience.

I hope the kid who wrote the article posts a picture of himself in his 50's, and we can see what a specimen of eternal youth is.

That is a fair point but he would not be the one on stage trying to pretend he is twenty!

So does every performer in history!

Even your boy Slash said the man is one of greatest.

[DieselDaisy]

Boring old fat farts playing the hits for money - yes, they all do it.

[tinyrobot]

This is another 20 something who has not yet found out life ends at 30 and soon he will be treated just like the treatment he's giving to Axl and GNR.

Just another idiot who knows nothing about being alive in a society sick and obsessed with youth, fame, beauty and all those things that last 5 minutes. It'd be much less hypocritical if he had written only this "I wish Axl would have blown his head off just like Kurt did". Because basically that's all he's saying and that's all he wants: everybody should stop existing right when they hit 30. I really hope he takes his own advice and quit in a few years, otherwise this piece of crap he has written will not make any sense at all.

[wkuk04]

Boring old fat farts playing the hits for money - yes, they all do it.

Boring old fat farts playing the hits for money - yes, they all do it.

Yeah they do. Taylor Swift & Katy Perry will be doing the same in 20 years, touring the hits and in Swift's case she'll be taking passive aggressively swings at all her ex boyfriends in her lyrics, because she's never done a thing wrong.

[Bards]

I only read the portion of the article that was posted, but looked like typical pretentious hipster bullshit. Poor little fella's trying so damn hard to be blase.

[RussTCB]

Someone already mentioned it in the thread, but I always laugh at people who claim/believe that Nirvana killed GN'R.

Warrant/Faster Pussycat/Cinderella/Etc? Yep. Those acts were absolutely killed by Nirvana and the grunge movement. GN'R however, was on a wildly successful world tour through the entire thing. When Kurt Cobain (and effectively the whole grunge movement) died in 94, the world was still very anxiously awaiting what would come next from GN'R.

[RichardNixon]

Stupid.

In all fairness, not too many people can be as awesome as Art Tavana.

[wkuk04]

Someone already mentioned it in the thread, but I always laugh at people who claim/believe that Nirvana killed GN'R.

Warrant/Faster Pussycat/Cinderella/Etc? Yep. Those acts were absolutely killed by Nirvana and the grunge movement. GN'R however, was on a wildly successful world tour through the entire thing. When Kurt Cobain (and effectively the whole grunge movement) in 94, the world was still very anxiously awaiting what would come next from GN'R.

Exactly. Who knew how long it would take lol.

[RichardNixon]

If Guns N' Roses had released a new album in 1996, it would have been a hit. Look at Van Halen's Balance--three million copies sold in the United States, and that was released in January of 1995.

[magisme]

I agree with pretty much everything he says except for the last point about Nirvana. Of course the likely characters will cry.

[Apollo]

Well, I totally understand Axl not wanting to reconcile with Slash.

I also have some family issues and the things that were done to me and my children I can never forgive.

Some things you can't forgive or forget.

What exactly did Slash do that was so horrible to Axl? I'm not sure what you are talking about.

A question that will never be answered.

No dude, you have it all wrong.

Don't you remember in that one topic "What specifically has Slash said to badmouth Axl" - that topic had like 48 things that Slash had said that were really negative about Axl. There were pages and pages of examples of all the bad things Slash has said about Axl.

I'm still pissed at Slash for hijacking the band's name from the other members, from him trying to make Axl just a paid employee, for him trying to add old school buddies as band members, for him showing up and making shows start 3 hours late, or for Slash not showing up at all and shows being cancelled while an arena full of paying fans waited for hours and hours.

[GUNNER PT]

Well, I totally understand Axl not wanting to reconcile with Slash.

I also have some family issues and the things that were done to me and my children I can never forgive.

Some things you can't forgive or forget.

What exactly did Slash do that was so horrible to Axl? I'm not sure what you are talking about.

A question that will never be answered.

No dude, you have it all wrong.

Don't you remember in that one topic "What specifically has Slash said to badmouth Axl" - that topic had like 48 things that Slash had said that were really negative about Axl. There were pages and pages of examples of all the bad things Slash has said about Axl.

I'm still pissed at Slash for hijacking the band's name from the other members, from him trying to make Axl just a paid employee, for him trying to add old school buddies as band members, for him showing up and making shows start 3 hours late, or for Slash not showing up at all and shows being cancelled while an arena full of paying fans waited for hours and hours.

Wait ... are you being sarcastic?

Both guys have badmouthed the other one.

Edited May 19, 2015 by GUNNER PT

[Nosaj Thing]

Well, I totally understand Axl not wanting to reconcile with Slash.

I also have some family issues and the things that were done to me and my children I can never forgive.

Some things you can't forgive or forget.

What exactly did Slash do that was so horrible to Axl? I'm not sure what you are talking about.

A question that will never be answered.

No dude, you have it all wrong.

Don't you remember in that one topic "What specifically has Slash said to badmouth Axl" - that topic had like 48 things that Slash had said that were really negative about Axl. There were pages and pages of examples of all the bad things Slash has said about Axl.

I'm still pissed at Slash for hijacking the band's name from the other members, from him trying to make Axl just a paid employee, for him trying to add old school buddies as band members, for him showing up and making shows start 3 hours late, or for Slash not showing up at all and shows being cancelled while an arena full of paying fans waited for hours and hours.

Oh, yeah, I remember. That was the thread where we repeatedly asked people to stop posting proof of Slash badmouthing Axl because it was too fast and too much to handle.

Great thread, "zero evidence" never meant so much to some individuals.

[Apollo]

Boring old fat farts playing the hits for money - yes, they all do it.

Boring old fat farts playing the hits for money - yes, they all do it.

Yeah they do. Taylor Swift & Katy Perry will be doing the same in 20 years, touring the hits and in Swift's case she'll be taking passive aggressively swings at all her ex boyfriends in her lyrics, because she's never done a thing wrong.

Is there ANY musician that you like besides Axl Rose? It seems like your favorite way to defend Axl is by putting other people down.

[LysanderSky]

My sentiments exactly.

Ciao.

http://noisey.vice.com/en_uk/blog/why-im-breaking-up-with-axl-rose?utm_source=noiseyfbuk

[MrSoftie]

Like, 8 topics below yours, 4 pages of discussion.

[LysanderSky]

Like, 8 topics below yours, 4 pages of discussion.

Er...sorry for that. Mods, feel free to delete.

[Rdeyahlxp]

Well, he owes you nothing. Record sales are declining so there is no incentive to make or finish a new record.

[Nosaj Thing]

Record sales are declining so there is no incentive to make or finish a new record.

It looks like record sales started declining, like, yesterday? It's been like that for years - but that doesn't stop bands, artists, and musicians from putting out records.

"Pleasing your fans" and "sharing your art" are two great incentives for any musician out there, unless you're Axl. Looks like he doesn't believe in himself anymore.