estrangedtwat Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I was surprised to see that a low quality camera bootleg of the new Robocop was already online, so I figured, what the heck? I checked it out.I'm glad I didn't spend any money on it!It just lacks ALL the satire, black humor, and even HEART of the original. It's simply a by the numbers CGI-fest action movie. Tons of boring, repetitive LOUD shoot out scenes that look no different from any CBS cop show, cause in addition to sucking all the humor of the original out, it's been neutered and de-clawed as well, cause there's no real violence. It was kept sanitized and PG-13 for maximum profits.It starts off on the wrong foot when it introduces Omnicorp (not OCP like in the original) and their just a normal, regular, big company. Sure, they're greedy, but they're not EVIL. OCP was evil. OCP was greedy. OCP was lazy and incompetent and put out shoddy products and didn't care. OCP was a commentary on the corporations that basically ruined America during the Reagan years. And all of that is gone. I couldn't even tell who the "bad guys" were supposed to be in the movie! In the original, you had these broad caricatures....Red Foreman from That 70s Show was a BAD dude. Nobody in this movie was bad. It was boring!The only good thing about it were some scenes that show Murphy realizing he was a robot now and that his humanity was gone. Good effects and emotionally interesting. The rest of it, like the drama of him trying to reunite with his family, felt forced and ridiculous.And there was a big CGI battle at the end with big CGI robots that have NONE of the personality and appeal of the original ED 209. There's no way to get invested in any of the characters or plot cause nothing was at stake.This is a free library rental or download at best. This is what happens when a marketing committee gets their hands on a a beloved movie and guts it. Everything about it was just so phony and formulaic....absolute studio movie garbage full of cliches and attempts to "reach a broad audience" and not offend anyone. It feels so wrong to hear the character's name and even the classic Robocop theme song associated with this version....they really should have at least changed his name and really shouldn't have touched the original theme.Classic movies are classic for a reason. A combination of script, actors, directors, effects...when it all comes together it's like capturing lightning in a bottle. Imagine Back to the Future without Michael J Fox.....it simply can't be done!! But knowing Hollywood, they'll have a remake with Jonah Hill any day now.The 1987 Robocop had a great script and was super tongue-in-cheek and had brilliant direction and performances. It was FUN. This movie doesn't have an ounce of fun or humor. It tries to play it "straight" and falls flat. Maybe I just love the original too much, but man, there was so little to like about the remake. I guess if there's absolutely nothing else on, and you have two hours to kill, you COULD watch it...but don't say I didn't warn you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damn_Smooth Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 To be honest, I'm a bit dissapointed in you for watching it and expecting anything more than a total turd. You should have known since the announcement that it was being made like the rest of the known galaxy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Len B'stard Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Thing about the first one was half the charm of it was the black comedy and, well, basically, like a lot of 80s action, how shit it was It's difficult to then use that as a basis of making a substantial film. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Facekicker Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 It didn't need to be remade. Neither did Total Recall. Fuck Hollywood. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 You forgot to mention the use of cocaine in the original. Definitley a parody of the era. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forsaken Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Yeah, it sucked just like I thought it would. Rarely EVER is a remake better than the original. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appetite4illusions Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 It wasn't a total turd, not at least in the way everybody expected it to be. The idea of even doing it over is blasphemous, but they had some original ideas.The way I see it, the original film took place in a very hyperbolic comic-book land. There was lots of fun to be had because everything was so exaggerated. This remake takes place in a "Nolanized" hyper-realistic landscape. Doing that took all the fun out of the movie. I must admit, I kept checking my watch during the film, and I only do that when I'm highly bored with a movie.But yeah, having no bad-guy was a cardinal sin. A huge misfire. It's really hard to compete with a Clarence Boddicker/Dick Jones duo, but shit, they didn't even try. Shame on them.It's hard to root for Murphy when his only threat is Michael Keaton's receding hairline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrandyk Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I do hope they take a substantial loss on this film. They don't deserve to make money from recycling ideas like that, there is zero integrity in this "effort". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Nova Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I do hope they take a substantial loss on this film. They don't deserve to make money from recycling ideas like that, there is zero integrity in this "effort".I'm pretty sure it's already broken even on a worldwide basis.I had mixed feelings on it....I thought it was alright...probably not as good as the original though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Sounds exactly what I thought it was going to be.I love the original movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nosaj Thing Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I knew it was going to suck, that's why I won't bother watching it, even for free when it gets pirated.Sames goes for the remake of Oldboy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) I watched the original the other day. So the trailer for the new movie wasn't a complete waste of time.I think they just use the movie name to lure you into the cinema. If you go in expecting it to be like Robocop then you're disappointment will be double. But they already got you in there. It's like just marketing, man. They spend more on marketing the movie than making it.Action for the soulless. We march on into the consumer light. Edited February 21, 2014 by wasted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 ED 209 is like, the greatest robot ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estrangedtwat Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) Yes, the original ED 209 was one of the most fantastic movie robots of ALL time.He looked amazing, he was bad-ass, he was scary, and he was also a piece of shit that didn't work, just like the cars that Detroit was churning out at the time of the movie.He malfunctioned cause OCP only cared about how he looked not if he actually worked or not. Just like the producers of the new Robocop movie don't give a shit if they movie is actually any good, just if the effects and action look "cool."Which they didn't.The new ED 209 design is a boring, soulless rip off of every anime mech we've ever seen. NO personality. Nothing memorable or cool about it. It had scenes in the movie but it didn't do a damn thing. It may as well have been a part of the background scenery. The original ED was memorable. He slaughtered that young executive in the most glorious overkill of all time. He also fell down the stairs and whined like a bitch. And finally got his ass handed to him when Robo blew him away with a Cobra cannon. And he looked awesome in the movie cause he was REAL. There was a full size prop on the set...actually physically occupying the space. The stop motion puppet was also real. It didn't look fake as shit like a shiny CGI cartoon that you KNOW isn't real, is completely weightless and ruins the viewer's suspension of disbelief.Original ED 209 for the fucking win. PS......after almost 30 long years, there is finally an amazing ED 209 figure available. Just came out from NECA toys. Worth every penny!!! Edited February 21, 2014 by estrangedtwat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bran Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 ED 209 is like, the greatest robot ever.ED 209 is awesome, i just wish he was given human like feet the new robocop looks very, very bad i think im staying away. robocop 3 might not be the worst robocop of all time now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
***Flawless Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) Both versions are horrible, I really hate when old films are praised just because of nostalgia. I don't mean in a "I know it's bad, but I love it anyway" way but "this is a great quality film" way, when it's not.I do hope they take a substantial loss on this film. They don't deserve to make money from recycling ideas like that, there is zero integrity in this "effort".I'm pretty sure it's already broken even on a worldwide basis.I had mixed feelings on it....I thought it was alright...probably not as good as the original though. The NA box-office is the one that matters the most, that's where the studio will be getting most of their profit from and it's flopping spectacularly. Edited February 21, 2014 by ***Flawless 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThinkAboutYou Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I went and saw it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasted Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I'm going with a big bottle jack and some marshmallows. I'm going spend most of movie pissing and filling the dryers with chocolate mellows. Keep it traditional folks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThinkAboutYou Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) I sat back with my buttered popcorn and coke and turned off my brain that made it watchable Edited February 21, 2014 by ThinkAboutYou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TombRaider Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I'm not watching this crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Both versions are horrible, I really hate when old films are praised just because of nostalgia. I don't mean in a "I know it's bad, but I love it anyway" way but "this is a great quality film" way, when it's not.I do hope they take a substantial loss on this film. They don't deserve to make money from recycling ideas like that, there is zero integrity in this "effort".I'm pretty sure it's already broken even on a worldwide basis.I had mixed feelings on it....I thought it was alright...probably not as good as the original though. The NA box-office is the one that matters the most, that's where the studio will be getting most of their profit from and it's flopping spectacularly.It isn't nostalgia, though - the original RoboCop is a brilliant film. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DR DOOM Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bran Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgy Zhukov Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 They look at overseas grosses accumiliating. The studio gets some profit there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazey Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Both versions are horrible, I really hate when old films are praised just because of nostalgia. I don't mean in a "I know it's bad, but I love it anyway" way but "this is a great quality film" way, when it's not.Are you serious? The original is an absolute classic. A seriously fantastic movie! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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