Gracii Guns Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I've not titled this accurately, but I couldn't think of better terms right now. In short, I can be in a social situation, and suddenly turn really quiet and zone out. When I speak, my mind is generally blank, but I struggle for words and end up speaking quite robotically. Emotionally I feel fine, but then friends start asking "are you ok Grace?" and I am perfectly happy. Basically I just struggle to keep the 'social' side of my brain switched on. I don't realise I do this. I don't know if it's a short attention span, a tiredness thing, a desire for solitude, or just being socially inept. Perhaps it is something that others experience too? I'd like to stop this, because I end up making a fool of myself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulMonster Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Yeah, I do that, too. I sort of glaze over because I am bored, but snap back to it rather quickly when I feel people notice it and I feel I should say something. The problem is if I haven't been paying attention to what has been said becaue I have thinking about more interesting things, so I have no idea what to say, then it is harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classicrawker Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Not when I am with friends and family but I hate having to make small talk with strangers...I can do it but it is painful..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracii Guns Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 6 minutes ago, PappyTron said: I know that you deleted my post, Gracii, but what I said could very well be true, and I say that through experience. It was deleted because it was a serious suggestion which you didn't support with any medical evidence. Additionally, considering your track record for trolling, I'm not going to trust you on the face of it for medical advice. Therefore not deleting the post would be irresponsible as a mod towards anyone else reading who is possibly experiencing the same thing. I am interested in hearing your experience, if you're willing to share. Sorry for any confusion, I shall undelete now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PappyTron Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Gracii Guns said: Additionally, considering your track record for trolling, I'm not going to trust you on the face of it for medical advice. Oh, well if that is what it comes down to then I'll just delete the post myself, keep my own council in future, and be done with it, seeing as you see me as simply trolling. The best of luck with the thread. Edited May 7, 2016 by PappyTron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len Cnut Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Nah, its easy. Used to as a kid a bit but you just brass it out and eventually it disappears. I means what the worry, that i might make myself look a cunt? So? So what? Who cares whether some random cunt thinks I'm a mug, what does their opinion matter? And maybe I am, so what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mademoiselle aka jessica Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) Suffered loss of vision, imbalance and hair loss and a gain of 40 pounds in 2000 due to anxiety. On a daily basis, I'll just seem dazed or pretentious or cold to other people. I'm terribly empathic and I try to shield but it's very difficult. The more sensitive and fucked up people are around me, the worse I feel. Which is why anxiety uncovered a lupus that was unknown and dormant. Id already had seizures ( like epilepsy ) Over the years, I quit what was making me sick Auditions, and then banking, men, Paris and Parisian suburbs. I now live like a miss nobody, with 4 kids, avoiding the sun at all costs and in a city where the pace of life is slower. Have two books in the making, hope to get a little writing done for s local paper and if things work out, maybe a little radio work. These are projects. But I don't want to think too much bout them because it makes me.. Anxious... Edited May 8, 2016 by mademoiselle aka jessica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mademoiselle aka jessica Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Oh and I am usually on Xanax 1/3 of a year ; meet me on the school run in the afternoon and I'll look high, its because I take it before the kids come home screaming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxlsFavoriteRose Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 On 5/7/2016 at 11:56 AM, Wagszilla said: No, just general crippling anxiety. yep i can totally relate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxlisOld Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I am aware that, coming from me, this will come as no surprise; but, have a damn drink. I suffered from crippling anxiety when I was younger, until, I'd have a few drinks before my friends would come over. Eventually, I didn't need the drinks to go out anymore. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
action Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 i think too much before saying something in group. this results in "the moment" either passed, or the comment sounding awkward and forced. whenever i say something, someone else is saying something at the same time. it's like i dont have the mental "radar" that tells you it's your turn in the conversation. also, i try to be witty but i just end up saying weird puns that no one understands. in some ways, message boards eleminate these issues altogether. so you may all think i come across as "normal" but the reality is, in real life i would be the fifth wheel on the wagon. my wife knows me, she can laugh with it the way i intended. i dont have these issues with her. nor with my own family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShankly Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 On 14/08/2016 at 8:00 AM, AxlisOld said: I am aware that, coming from me, this will come as no surprise; but, have a damn drink. I suffered from crippling anxiety when I was younger, until, I'd have a few drinks before my friends would come over. Eventually, I didn't need the drinks to go out anymore. I think that can go the opposite way too though, to the point where you can't be social or have a good time without a drink. Although I definitely can have a good time without it, I'm probably more of this type, or at least I was for a while. And a few of my friends are like this I reckon. It sort of changed when we became teenagers, always drinking. Everyone sort of seems to expect things to be boring now without drink, most folk are probably the same I suppose, but, like.. If I didn't always have jobs that involved driving for a living, then I'd probably be a right alkie! For someone as introverted as me, drink just opens up another world. The world that's in my head, that never plays out as I would like, comes out when I drink and it's just better. I sort of go from quiet, and withdrawn (but friendly) to Mr. Happy; with confidence, anything's possible, don't care what anybody thinks attitude, and people respond a lot better! It's never awkward. And anything that I'm passionate about, it magnifies it and really fucking motivates me to do it! Alcohol has a fuckin' great effect on me! But then again, most folk think the same haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShankly Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 On 14/08/2016 at 9:29 AM, action said: i think too much before saying something in group. this results in "the moment" either passed, or the comment sounding awkward and forced. whenever i say something, someone else is saying something at the same time. it's like i dont have the mental "radar" that tells you it's your turn in the conversation. also, i try to be witty but i just end up saying weird puns that no one understands. in some ways, message boards eleminate these issues altogether. so you may all think i come across as "normal" but the reality is, in real life i would be the fifth wheel on the wagon. my wife knows me, she can laugh with it the way i intended. i dont have these issues with her. nor with my own family. That sounds quite a lot like me! haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orsys Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 On May 7, 2016 at 2:39 PM, Gracii Guns said: I've not titled this accurately, but I couldn't think of better terms right now. In short, I can be in a social situation, and suddenly turn really quiet and zone out. When I speak, my mind is generally blank, but I struggle for words and end up speaking quite robotically. Emotionally I feel fine, but then friends start asking "are you ok Grace?" and I am perfectly happy. Basically I just struggle to keep the 'social' side of my brain switched on. I don't realise I do this. I don't know if it's a short attention span, a tiredness thing, a desire for solitude, or just being socially inept. Perhaps it is something that others experience too? I'd like to stop this, because I end up making a fool of myself. I think that part of the brain that does small talk is underdeveloped in me. I am great alone, and I am great having deep or heavy conversations with people. but I feel completely out of my element when small talk is required. I get anxious in those types of situations and try to avoid them. I think that's why I prefer dinner out with friends vs parties. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
action Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 7 hours ago, MrShankly said: That sounds quite a lot like me! haha yeah, let's drink to the fifth wheels then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner55 Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 I have it happen when I'm out. I'm not a huge people person. If I'm out with a decent size group I can't really somewhat enjoy myself without a little buzz. Get 2 or 3 drinks in quickly and loosen up a bit. If it wears off, I drop out and kinda zone out. Swear, I'm not an alcoholic. I just hate a lot of people that some friends bring along and I struggle forcing being nice with people I can't stand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan H. Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 On 8/14/2016 at 2:00 AM, AxlisOld said: I am aware that, coming from me, this will come as no surprise; but, have a damn drink. I suffered from crippling anxiety when I was younger, until, I'd have a few drinks before my friends would come over. Eventually, I didn't need the drinks to go out anymore. Okay don't drink if you have anxiety, that's a really stupid suggestion. Alcoholism and anxiety go hand and hand. OP: I am diagnosed bi-polar, which causes a lot of crippling social anxiety as the poles swing back and forth every few months and I have to try to maintain social consistency. Here's the simplest answer to your situation: If your problem is causing your life to become debilitating, and is taking away your happiness at a concerning frequency, then you need to go see a doctor. If its not, then hell, everyone has social anxiety, sometimes with a logical explanation, sometimes with none. This does not become unusual or concerning unless you are losing friends or becoming a hermit (note: Being a hermit isn't particularly unhealthy unless that isn't your typical behavior). I am not a doctor, or scientist, or councilor, but I will say based on anecdotal experience and an amateur interest in the brain, what you described is a symptom of a low attention span, which can cause social anxiety. This is caused by all kinds of shit: frequent drinking, dehydration, lack of sleep, situational issues, and low blood sugar. Even though I am on medication for my illness, the best thing I've found for ideal mental health is sleep, exercise, abstaining from drink, and a somewhat reasonable diet. Exercise helps too of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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